Part 7:
Can You Hear That?
Nick walked Kara back towards the car, a
protective arm pulled around her shoulder, her head tucked tightly into his
chest. Her grandmother and grandfather
stood on the front porch, watching in silence with sad eyes, understanding that
their granddaughter needed more at this moment then either one of them was able
to provide her.
Nick helped Kara into the passenger side of
the car, making sure she was safely inside before closing the door. Walking around to the driver’s side, he
tossed up a wave to her grandparents to let them know she was in good hands
before he climbed in the car and slowly backed down the gravel drive.
Once down to the end of the drive, Nick pulled
the car off to the side of the road, putting it in park and killing the
lights. He ran a hand through his hair
as Kara sniffled loudly in the seat beside him.
“I’m really sorry about your parents,” Nick
said, his eyes focused straight ahead. “Your grandmother told me what
happened.”
Kara nodded to herself, swiping the back of
her hand across her tear-stained face like a small child.
“This is so stupid,” she said in an angry
voice, shivering. “I told myself I was going to be strong and that I wasn’t
going to cry.”
Nick reached over into the backseat, dragging
a faded red hooded sweatshirt back into his lap. “What is so bad about crying?” he asked,
turning the sweatshirt right side out and shaking it out before leaning over
and tucking it gently around Kara’s body.
“Crying is for people who are weak, crying is
for people who don’t have any control, and I am neither of those kinds of
people.” Kara sat up straight, taking a deep breath. “I’m not doing this,
Nick. I have kept it together for this
long, I’m not going to fall apart now.”
Nick glanced over at her before speaking
again. “Maybe you’re afraid if you let go and cry, that will mean your parents
are really gone?”
She looked over at him as he spoke, a stern
look of doubt etched on her face as she started to protest but was suddenly cut
off.
“If you don’t cry, then eventually a part of
you will die.” Nick knew firsthand what
he spoke of. The years of physical and
mental abuse suffered at the hands of his mother had long ago hardened him from
shedding any tears. “The truth is,
crying doesn’t make you weak or less of a person, it makes you human.
“You have two wonderful people who loved you
with all their hearts that will be there to watch over you for the rest of your
life. No matter what you do or where you
go, they will be up there, guiding you along.
Crying will just let them go, Kara, so that your heart will open
up-” He thumped on his chest. “-and they can come back to you.” Taking a deep breath, Nick nodded to himself,
believing the words that he had said as he settled back in the seat.
And suddenly, Kara knew that Nick was
right. She had been trying desperately
to hold onto her parents when, in reality, they were already gone. All this time, they had been trying to come
back to her, but she kept shutting them out, and in Nick, she finally found the
strength she needed to just let them go.
“It’s okay to cry, Kara. It just means you miss them.”
“I do, Nick.
I really do.” Tears began to
spill down her face, and she could feel her heart beginning to open up. “I have wanted to cry for such a long time,”
she said as Nick reached over, patting her leg, his gaze turning forward to the
darkening sky.
“Then you go ahead and cry, Kara. We’ve got all the time in the world.
***
Kara wasn’t sure how long they sat there with
her sobbing and Nick patting her leg, but she knew that it felt so good to let
it all out.
Suddenly, a set of headlight flashed in their
eyes as a shiny silver Jetta turned onto her grandparents’ road, stopping
beside Nick’s car.
“Shit, it’s Allie,” Kara said, looking in the
opposite direction as she wiped at her eyes with the hood of Nick’s sweatshirt.
Allie rolled down her window, sizing up the
situation before barking, “What the hell is going on?”
“Go away, Allie,” Kara mumbled loudly, not
looking at her sister.
“Oh my God, Kara, are you having sex with him
too? You are such a slut. Can’t you have some respect for yourself and
our grandparents and at least take him to the park or the baseball field if
you’re going to get it on?”
Ignoring Allie, Nick fired up the car and
peeled out, leaving her eating their dust as he turned out onto the road and
headed towards town.
***
They drove down the road leading out onto Main
Street, where things seemed alive with the Saturday night locals looking for a
good time. Nick enjoyed the feeling of
small town life, as people strolled casually in and out of the local diner,
window shopping as they all seemed to be headed in the direction of The GiddyUp
Bar, a place that he would soon learn was a popular hangout for the twenty-one
and over crowd.
Swinging the car into a spot just vacated by a
small pickup truck, Nick got out and walked around to Kara’s side, opening the
door and taking her by the hand. She
looked up at him with tearful, bloodshot eyes, waiting for him to give her some
more words of wisdom.
“Kara,” he said, with mischief in his eyes,
“let’s get drunk.”
***
Kara twirled around the dance floor, and Nick
held court at a corner table, surrounded by girls with big hair and
bold-colored lipstick asking him his name and offering to pay for his beers.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” one of
the girls shouted over the music, running her hand up his thigh.
He shook his head before tipping back another
beer, enjoying the colorful swirling lights and twangy music coming at him from
all sides. “Nope.”
He smiled at another girl who made her way to
his table with a glass of something in her hand. “Here, I brought this for
you,” she said, squeezing her way in beside the blonde to his right.
“I’m not from around here, but I’m seriously
considering making it my new home,” he replied in a slurred voice, as he
grabbed for the drink and pounded it back, the girls giggling all around him.
***
Kara spun right and then left and then right
again as Garth Brooks boomed out over the sound system of the club. Never much one for country music, she found
herself loving the craziness of the people in the club in their oversized hats
and too-tights jeans. Kids she had known
since childhood that had suddenly turned into adults.
Spinning right again, she bumped hard into a
familiar figure.
“Hey baby,” he said, grasping his hands around
her hips as she flipped her head around finally settling on him with blurry
eyes.
“Well hey, Roy!” she said brightly, throwing
her arms around his neck. “Where have
you been all my life?”
Swinging his hips, Roy smiled at her.
“I’ve been right here, sweetie, and if you
give me another chance, I can prove to you that I’m the guy for you.” He shouted the words into her ear like a
rehearsed script. But with as much
alcohol as Kara had ingested, it was sounding pretty damn good.
“Oh Roy, I think I gave you plenty of a chance
last night, didn’t I, and you proved yourself more then adequate.” Swinging her head around again, her ponytail
whipped Roy in the face.
“Well…”
Spitting out a mouthful of her hair, Roy gave her a shit-eating grin as
he pulled her closer to him. “Truth be
told, old Roy didn’t really get much of a chance to show you The Mystery and
all, seeing as how you passed out cold before I could even get my shirt off.”
Kara’s mouth dropped open slightly as she
continued to sway to the music. “Are you
saying we never had sex?”
“Well, uh, yeah. That’s what I’m saying. But give me another chance, baby, and I can
make it up to you.”
Throwing her head back, Kara started to
laugh. She laughed so hard, she couldn’t
stop, as tears spilled down her face.
“Oh Roy,” Kara said, slapping him on the arm
as she pulled away. “Why don’t you just
go and stuff it like you stuff your pants.”
Turning, she tripped off towards a line dance
just as Boot Scootin’ Boogie began to play, leaving Roy alone and confused in
the middle of the dance floor.
“Stuff my pants?” Roy said to himself looking
around the bar, then down at his pants, and then around the bar again. “I don’t get it?”
***
“Oh man, I love this song.” Nick said,
grabbing for the closest girl as he headed down to the dance floor. “Do you
wanna dance?”
The girl tipped her black cowboy at him with a
wink and a grin. “You know I do, cowboy,” she said as the two slid into the
line beside Kara. Nick nudged her from
the side with a drunken smile pasted on his angelic face.
“Are you having fun, Kara?” he shouted over
the music, kicking left when everybody else was kicking right.
“More fun then I’ve had in a lonnnnnng time!”
she yelled back. “Thank you.”
***
The two of them wound up shutting the bar down
as they stumbled out onto the deserted Main Street at 2:00 a.m. and headed
towards the tiny liquor store five doors down, determined to keep their happy
buzz going just a little while longer.
The air was crisp with a stinging bite in it –
strange for July? And a light fog had settled close to the ground, giving
everything a soft glow.
Coming up on the liquor store, Kara put her
hands up to either side of her face and peered inside the darkened store.
“It’s closed,” dhe said with in a pouty voice.
“Closed?”
Nick came up beside her, peering inside as well. “That sucks.
Are there any other liquor stores in town?” he asked pushing away from
the door.
“Nope.”
Kara stood back from the door, too.
“I want to drink. And I still
want to dance.”
“Well hey, we can still dance.” Nick walked off of the sidewalk into the
middle of the street, holding out a hand to her.
“Kara, may I have this dance?” he asked,
wobbling slightly on drunken legs.
She pushed at her hair that had long ago
fallen from its band and now swung loosely around her face and shoulders and
smiled at him.
“Yes, Nick, you may.” Stumbling off of the curb, she walked to
where he stood, placing her hand in his outstretched hand as he twirled her
around in a circle and then clutched her to his chest.
“Can you hear that?” he asked, swaying slowly
back and forth with her in his arms.
“Hear what?” she said.
“The music,” he replied in barely a whisper.
Kara looked around at the deserted street, the
beautiful bright moon in the sky, and at the fog humming across the ground, and
for the first time since her parents’ death, she could hear the music again.
***
