Chapter 1

I hate riding in airplanes. That’s pretty funny considering that I’ve taken more than my fair share of plane trips. My name is Maggie and I used to be a professional dancer. I used to dance behind one of the biggest acts in pop music: the Backstreet Boys. I appeared in two of their videos and toured with them in 1998. I’ve been to Europe, South America, and all over North America. I can’t say the trip I’m taking now is so exciting, but it’s definitely more important.

After lift off, I settled into my seat and put on the headphones that were attached to it. I only had three channels to choose from and they all sounded the same. Finally, I just chose one. I could always switch if I got bored with it. I looked in the seat next to me at my son, Danny, who was asleep. Playing with his dark curls, I smiled at him. He’s the reason I’m on this plane. We’re flying to Orlando to see his father, Howie Dorough.

About six months ago, I took Howie to court and sued for paternity. I didn’t want to do it, but my family pressured me. I was afraid of the repercussions. I was afraid Howie would deny Danny and that the whole thing would be a huge media mess. But I’m glad I went through with it, because it turned out much better than I thought it would.

Even though I don’t want or need Howie’s money, he’s paying child support. I just deposit the checks into a trust fund for Danny. Visitation is irregular because of Howie’s career and the fact that we live in Chicago. So, we work around his down time and communicate by phone and email. Actually, this is the first time he’s seen Danny since we went to court. I hope everything goes all right.

Watching my son sleep made me tired myself. I took off the headphones, pushed the seat back as far as it would go and closed my eyes. I thought about the first time Howie and I met. It was on the set of the video for "As Long As You Love Me." I played the girl with the basketball.

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The director is telling me what he wants me to do, when I notice Howie looking at me. I turn to him and smile, he smiles back. The director waves his hand in my face to regain my attention. I listen to what he has to say but I can still feel Howie’s eyes on me. I manage to get through that scene as nervous as I am, then it’s time to break for lunch.

I walk over to where Howie is standing. He is so gorgeous and I feel stupid just standing there. But I’m too nervous to speak. Finally, he breaks the ice.

"Hi, my name’s Howie," he says. His gentle voice puts me at ease.
"My name’s Maggie."

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Just then, I was jolted from my dream by turbulence. This is why I hate planes. Danny, of course, woke up too and started crying. He had only been on a plane once before when he was a baby. I gave him a hug and he calmed down. The turbulence didn’t last long, thank God.

When we finally landed, I was so nervous my legs were shaking. Danny could sense my nerves and was fidgeting in my arms. I scanned the crowd in the airport trying to spot Howie. When I didn’t see him right away, I panicked and Danny started to whine.

"Shh, it’s okay, honey. I’m just looking for Howie." I don’t feel comfortable referring to Howie as ‘Daddy’. I wonder if I ever will. Finally, I saw Howie walking toward me. I was surprised when I saw Pollyanna walking next to him. When we last spoke, I had just broken up with Howie and was about to leave the 1998 tour without a word to anyone. She told me she would never forgive me for hurting her brother. Danny practically jumped out of my arms and ran to Howie, who picked him up, threw him in the air and caught him.

"Hey, Little Man, I missed you!" He said as he kissed his son on the cheek. Danny giggled happily. Howie then, passed my son to Pollyanna. Danny gave her a hug around the neck.

"Well, he certainly has that Dorough charm," she laughed. I know she didn’t mean anything by it, but I still wanted to tell he that Danny wasn’t a Dorough, he was a Coletti. When Pollyanna noticed me, my stomach flipped. Instead of the dirty look I expected, she gave me a smile.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"I’ve been good," I said, my voice cracking. My throat felt very dry.

"Your son is just adorable," she said. Howie stepped over to me and put his arm around me.

"Yes, OUR son is amazing isn’t he?" he said. He took me by surprise when he leaned over and pecked me on the lips. Pollyanna cleared her throat.

"Howie, help Maggie with her luggage," she said. She gave him a look. Taking my hand, Howie led me to the baggage carousel. Pollyanna followed still carrying Danny. I already had my carry-on bag, so I took one suitcase and Howie took the other two. Howie kept smiling at me and I started to melt. I wondered if Pollyanna noticed the way he was looking at me. I could hear her talking to Danny, telling him how cute he was. ‘Great,’ I thought, ‘spoil him why don’t you?’

The four of us got into Howie’s car. I sat in front with him while Pollyanna and Danny sat in the back. Just as she was bending over to fasten Danny’s seatbelt, Howie leaned over and kissed me on the mouth again. He broke away just in time for her to finish and sit back up. Howie’s kisses and attention sent chills up my spine. Chills of excitement and worry. We rode in silence for a while until I noticed the all too familiar route Howie was taking.

"Howie, I thought you got us a hotel room. Why are you taking us to your parents’ house?" I didn’t want Danny and me to be any trouble for Mr. and Mrs. Dorough.

"Relax, he’ll drop you off at the hotel later. My mom really wants to see you and Danny," said Pollyanna. Was she glad I wasn’t staying with their parents?

Mrs. Dorough was standing outside when we arrived. We got out of the car and she walked over to me. She gave me hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"¿Cómo estás, nena?" she said.

"Estoy muy bien, señora."

"Ay, no seas tan formal, me llamo Paula. Tu ya sabes."

"Okay, estoy muy bien…Paula," I laughed. Paula led me into the house. It was as if she didn’t even notice her son and daughter or Danny. Nonetheless, they followed us inside.

Paula speaks perfect English. But when we first met, I introduced myself in Spanish and she was impressed. From that point on, we communicated sometimes in Spanish.

We settled into the living room when she finally noticed Danny. She gave him her biggest smile.

"¡Mira, qué lindo eres!" she exclaimed. Instinctively, Danny ran to her. She picked him up and put him on her lap.

"Hola, Daniel ¿cómo estás?" Danny gave her a blank look.

"Entiende italiano mejor que español," I explained.

"That’s okay, by the time I’m through with him, he’ll understand and speak Spanish better than Howie," she laughed. Pollyanna and I laughed too. Howie rolled his eyes.

"I’m hungry, Ma. What’s there to eat?" he said, getting up from his chair.

"Everything’s set out in the kitchen, m’ijo." We all got up and followed Howie into the kitchen. The table had been set with a plate of sandwiches and a bowl of salad. There was also a pitcher of iced tea.

"I know you don’t eat meat, so I made the salad just for you," said Howie’s mom. I was glad she remembered. We all took seats around the table. Howie and Pollyanna helped themselves to sandwiches and iced tea.

"I also made peanut butter and jelly for Daniel. Is that all right?"

"That’s perfect," I said. Danny had already spotted the peanut butter and jelly and grabbed a sandwich. I poured iced tea for him and myself.

"Daniel must be a vegetarian, too?" she asked.

"Yea, he is," I said. Howie and Pollyanna looked at each other.

"Do you really think it’s wise to raise him that way? He’s a little kid, he needs his nutrition," Pollyanna remarked. Before I could say anything, Paula spoke.

"Well, m’ija, if Maggie didn’t eat meat when she was pregnant, then the boy never had meat in his system. If he eats meat now, he’ll just get sick."

"But ma-," Pollyanna started.

"Don’t speak about what you don’t know, hija. Maggie is the mother and she knows what’s best for her son." Paula wasn’t being rude to Pollyanna. Her voice had the same gentleness Howie’s voice had when he was trying to make a point. Pollyanna looked down at the table.

"Can we please change the subject?" asked Howie.

"I’m done, Mama," said Danny. He had peanut butter on his nose, so I wiped it with a napkin. He finished the last sip of his iced tea and looked at his father.

"Can I watch T.V. Howie?" he asked, getting out of his chair. Smiling, Howie took him by the hand and led him into the living room.

"He calls him by his name?" asked Pollyanna. Before I could answer, Paula requested our help in clearing the table and doing the dishes. While Paula wrapped up the leftovers, Pollyanna and I gathered the plates and glasses and carried them to the sink.

"Wash or dry?" I asked shakily.

"I’ll wash, you dry," she said. The tension between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife. For the next five minutes or so, we didn’t say a thing to each other. Paula was busy putting the food into the refrigerator and wiping down the table and the counter while we finished doing the dishes. When the last glass was put in the drainer, Pollyanna and I turned around to see Paula smiling at us. We smiled back. I went into the living room to check on my son. Danny and Howie were on the sofa, Howie had his arm around Danny and they were laughing. I looked at the T.V. and saw they were watching a cartoon. It was the same one Danny always watched on Saturday afternoons.

"Well, I’m ready to go," I told Howie.

"Aww, Mama, my show’s still on," Danny whined.

"Yea, Mama, can’t we leave when it’s done?" Howie teased.

"Yea, Mama," Danny laughed. Before I could protest, Paula and Pollyanna came into the living room. Pollyanna took a seat on the other side of Danny, while Paula walked over to the mantel. She took a picture frame down, walked over to me and handed it to me. The frame contained an 8" x 10" photo of Howie when he was about Danny’s age. A smaller photo of Danny was tucked into the bottom left hand corner of the frame. The resemblance was so uncanny that, if I hadn’t known which photo of Danny I had sent Paula, I would have sworn both photos were of either him or Howie.

"Wow!" was all I could say.

"I thought the same thing when you sent me Danny’s picture," Paula said, laughing. Howie took the frame from Paula and showed the photos to Danny.

"Which one’s you?" Howie asked. Danny looked at the photos with a puzzled look on his face. Howie chuckled.

"I’ll give you a hint, this one’s me," he said, pointing to his photo. Danny kept looking back and forth from the frame to Howie. He was still confused. Howie tousled his hair, got up from the sofa and put the frame back in its place. He walked back to the sofa and picked Danny up.

"Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to freak you out." By this time the show was over. I walked over to the T.V. and turned it off.

"Okay, can we go now?" I asked.

"Yea, I suppose," Howie groaned.

"Yea, I suppose," said Danny, imitating Howie. Paula laughed and pinched Danny’s cheeks and then gave me a hug.

"Que bueno verte otra vez, Maggie," she said.

"Igual," I said. Howie walked out the front door carrying Danny and I followed. I noticed that Pollyanna was right behind me. I turned around and looked at her. She gave me a look as if she could read my mind.

"Howie’s driving me back to my place," she said irritably.

"Okay, fine," I said. She walked past me toward Howie and took Danny from him.

"Ya wanna sit in the back with Titi again?" she asked Danny. Titi? Okay, so she really was his aunt, but this made me a little nervous for some reason. I opened the passenger door and got inside the car. Danny giggled in the back seat as Pollyanna strapped him in. Howie got in the driver’s seat and adjusted the rearview mirror. Pollyanna and I didn’t say a word as Howie drove to her condo. Howie and Danny were engaged in conversation.

"So, Dan, you got a girlfriend?" Howie teased.

"No!" he shouted and then giggled.

"Well, do you know any pretty girls?"

"My mama’s pretty." I giggled nervously and I think I heard Pollyanna giggle too. Howie looked at me and smiled.

"Well, she can’t be your girlfriend ‘cuz she’s your mom," said Howie.

"Then I’ll find a girl just like Mama." Howie’s eyes got big as he looked at me.

"Oooh! That kid’s smart," he said, laughing. I just smiled. Danny and Pollyanna laughed.

Howie pulled in front of Pollyanna’s condo, she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She went around to Howie and Danny’s side of the car. Howie rolled down all the windows. Pollyanna stuck her head into Howie’s window and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she went to Danny’s window.

"Deportes bien, sobrino," she told him. She mussed his hair and kissed his cheek.

"What did you say?" he asked. Pollyanna laughed.

"I said ‘be good’," she said.

"I will."

Howie pulled out of the driveway and turned onto the main road. He hit the hands free button on the car phone and dialed and then waited for an answer.

"Yea, it’s me. Listen, we’ll be at the hotel in about ten minutes. Meet us out in front." He pressed hands free again to hang up.

"Bodyguard," he explained. Just like six months ago, when Howie was in Chicago and we couldn’t go anywhere without a bodyguard.

"You know, the hotel I booked for you has an excellent swimming pool. Let’s take Danny this afternoon," he said.

"I don’t know, I’m really tired," I said, "besides, Danny hasn’t slept since the plane ride."

"Please can we go swimming?" shouted Danny. He’s been taking swimming lessons for about three weeks and he was always pestering me to take him to the beach back home.

"You’re not going to get tired and cranky?" I asked.

"I won’t, I promise," he said emphatically. Howie looked at me, smirking.

"And I’ll be good, too, promise," he said. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Okay, I’m powerless enough against one set of puppy dog eyes, but two…"

"All right! I knew you’d give in," Howie teased. When we finally reached the hotel, sure enough, the bodyguard was waiting in front. He opened my car door, freaking me out a little. He stood there staring at me until I undid my seatbelt and got out of the car. He slammed the door and walked over to Howie’s side. He opened the door and Howie got out. Howie opened Danny’s door, undid his seatbelt and lifted him out. The bodyguard slammed both doors on that side. Howie took two suitcases from the trunk, while I had the carry-on bag and took one suitcase. The bodyguard slammed the trunk a little too forcefully.

The four of us walked into the hotel lobby toward the front desk. I made the arrangements while Howie and Danny stood behind me and waited. Danny was grabbing onto Howie’s leg and staring up at the bodyguard who was staring at the wall. Without even acknowledging the bodyguard, Howie picked Danny up. I got the keys and led the others to the elevators. We rode up in silence. Danny still couldn’t keep his eyes off the bodyguard. The Bodyguard checked himself in the mirrored walls.

When we got to the room, Howie, Danny and I went in. I guess the bodyguard just hung out in the hall since he didn’t come in with us. Howie offered to help Danny change into his swim trunks while I changed in the bathroom. When I came out, Danny was already in his trunks. He and Howie both stared at me. My suit had two pieces but the top covered my belly.

"What, no bikini?" Howie asked.

"Stretchmarks," I explained.

"You don’t have those," he said

"Yes, I do." He had the opportunity to see them six months ago, but I guess he was too preoccupied to notice. When we left the room, the bodyguard was waiting. We walked to the elevators and took them down to where the pool was.

The pool was outside and it was huge. There was a small bar on deck and waitress roaming between the tables near the pool. Since Howie didn’t have his swim trunks with him, he sat at one of the tables closest to the pool. The bodyguard took one right next to it. I took Danny into the shallow end and helped him practice his kicking. I held his hands as he stretched his little body behind him. He soon grew tired of kicking and waded toward the edge of the pool. Howie was crouching down by the edge and he said something to Danny. Danny bounced back over to me with a big smile on his face.

"Mama," he said between giggles, "that guy over there says you’re pretty." He pointed to Howie, who waved at me.

"Well," I said, playing along, "tell him I said ‘thank you’ and that he’s not so bad himself." Danny cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted loudly.

"Howie, she says ‘thank you’!" he said in a fit of giggles. Howie laughed and walked back to his table. Danny and I continued to play in the water. Then I noticed a waitress taking an order from Howie. Before leaving the table, she looked at us. She smiled at Danny but not at me. I watched her walk over to the bar and talk to the bartender. Then she picked up the phone on the bar and dialed. She looked right at me as she spoke into the receiver. I turned away and tried not to think about her.

Danny and I were splashing each other when Howie called us over. When we got to the table, there were three glasses of orange juice set out. The bodyguard had his back to us as he mumbled something into a cell phone. Just as we sat down, the bodyguard came over and whispered something in Howie’s ear.

"Damn!" he said, turning to look toward the entrance. There was a woman approaching us. She had a photographer behind her. Before she could get near us, the bodyguard blocked their path.

"Okay, this is far enough," he told the woman. She ignored the bodyguard and looked past his shoulder.

"Howie, is it true that you’re married and that this is your wife and son? Why did you keep it a secret for so long?" she shouted, loud enough for everyone around to hear. Howie spotted the waitress standing at the bar with a smirk on her face. He glared at her.

The bodyguard turned the woman and the photographer around and ushered them toward the entrance to the building. The woman tried to break free from his grasp when a security guard appeared out of nowhere and dragged them into the building. The bodyguard walked over the bar and said something to the waitress. She looked over at us apologetically. ‘She should be sorry,’ I thought. The bodyguard came back over to us.

"We better go," he told Howie. The three of us got up and walked back inside. The bodyguard followed us to the elevators.

"I need to make a call," he said as he picked up his cell phone. We stepped onto an open elevator as he made a call to the hotel management.

"Yes, the young lady’s name is Nicole. She waits tables by the pool. She knowingly put my client’s privacy and his guests’ privacy in jeopardy. Thank you, sir." He hung up and looked at me.

"If this keeps up, Mr. Dorough may need to find you another hotel." His voice had no expression, but he looked irritated. ‘Great,’ I thought, ‘we’ve only been in Orlando for about two hours and already there are problems.’ We rode the rest of the way in silence.

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