Chapter 4

When I came back into the room, I noticed that it had been cleaned. The bed was made, the towels in the bathroom were changed, the coffeepot was cleaned and there were clean cups and more coffee next to the coffee maker. I turned on the T.V. and found an Italian film on Bravo. It was called "Life is Beautiful" and Stacy and I saw it when Danny was just a baby. As I settled on the bed next to him, the phone rang. I let it ring about four times before picking it up.

"Hello?" I said.

"Che cosa sta accadendo, ragazza? What's up, girl?" It was Stacy! She was half Italian and half Puerto Rican and could speak both Italian and Spanish just like me. It was so good to hear her voice.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"Pretty good," she replied,"how's my ragazzo piccolo bello?" Ragazzo piccolo bello means "beautiful little boy" it was Stacy’s special nickname for Danny. I looked at Danny who was still fast asleep.

"Addormentato," I replied.

"Aww," cooed Stacy, "so you and El Señor kicking it?" Ever since she found out that Howie was back in my life, she called him, El Señor, what you would call a married man with kids.

"El Señor is mad at me right now."

"Oh no, what happened?"

"He’s not happy with our arrangement. You know, visitations and stuff."

"Se Howie non desidera essere un uomo, dimenticarlo bene." She always spoke Italian when she got ticked off. She basically told me that if Howie doesn't want to be a man, I should just forget him.

"He's being a man, we just go into an arguement, that's all." I didn’t want her to think Howie wasn’t taking responsibility, because he was.

"What was the arguement about?"

"We argued about whether or not we should be married. He said we should because it’s the right thing to do. But then I got him to admit that it might not be what he really wants. I told him he didn’t have to marry me."

"You’re crazy, Maggie. Do you know how many guys out there just divide and conquer and then go riding off into the sunset? Your baby’s daddy wants to be just that…your baby’s daddy!" This was both sides of Stacy’s heritage talking.

"He can still be my baby’s daddy even if we’re not married."

"But he’s so fine, besides!" I rolled my eyes. When I was in my last trimester, she admitted that she always had a thing for Howie. She never made moves on him out of respect for me. She tried to convince me to not shut him out. She said I was crazy to let a ‘perfect male specimen’ like Howie get away. Then she threatened to snatch him up if I didn’t reconcile with him. I told her to go ahead, but she didn’t.

"He’s all yours," I said, laughing.

"Promise?" she teased. Just then, the call waiting sounded.

"I have another call, hold on." I clicked over.

"Hello?"

"Maggie?" It was Howie.

"Yes," I said coldly.

"I forgot to tell you what time I’ll pick up Danny. That is, if you still want me to take him to Disney."

"Of course I do, he’s looking forward to it."

"Is 9:00 okay?"

"That’s fine. Look I gotta go. There’s a call on the other line."

"Okay, but Maggie, I just wanted to apologize."

"You don’t have to apologize," I couldn’t believe I said that.

"Anyway, we need to have a serious talk about this. I mean, it’s Danny’s future we’re playing with here."

"I promise we will, okay. But I can’t leave Stacy hanging."

"So that’s why you’re giving me the brush off," he said, laughing.

"Li vedró a nove in punto quando venite ottenere Danny."

"En español o inglés, por favor," he laughed some more.

"Nos vemos a las nueve cuando vienes a recoger Danny, okay? I’ll see you at 9:00 when you come get Danny." Howie laughed still some more.

"Tell Stacy I said ciao," he said and then hung up. I clicked back over.

"Still there?"

"I was about to hang up. Now who on earth could be more important than your ol’ girl?"

"Howie."

"Except Howie."

"He’s picking up Danny at 9:00 to take him to Disney World tomorrow."

"Aww! Loca, you just don’t know how good you got it!"

"Anyway, what time will you pick me up tomorrow?"

"How about 11:00? That way we can get some lunch first."

"Sounds good."

"Arrivaderci, inamorata. Take care of my boy," Stacy said.

"Arrivaderci, sorella," I replied. I hung up the phone and watched the rest of the movie. I’d seen it so many times on video that I could easily pick up where I left off when Stacy called. When the movie was over, Danny woke up and told me he was hungry. I called room service for dinner. We went to bed early. Tomorrow was a big day for both of us. I was grateful that Danny didn’t ask why his father wasn’t staying with us.

The next morning, I had Danny dressed and ready by 8:30. At 9:00 sharp, the front desk called up and told me Howie was waiting for me. When I took Danny downstairs, I saw Howie and the bodyguard standing at the desk. Danny ran to Howie, who picked him up. Then he looked at me.

"Don’t make any plans for lunch tomorrow. I want to talk to you after we work out," he said.

"That’s fine. But can we start a little later. Like, say, 8:00?"

"Okay," he laughed.

"Bye, Mama," said Danny, blowing me a kiss.

"Bye, Boo, have a good time."

"You, too," he said. Howie, still holding Danny, walked to the entrance with the bodyguard. Before going out, they turned and waved. I waved back.

I went to the coffee shop to get breakfast. I sat at the counter and ordered some coffee and bagel with cream cheese. When I got up to my room, I gathered all of the things I would need for class. I hadn’t owned a leotard and tights in so long, so I was going to wear my workout clothes. I hoped that was okay. I also didn’t have the right shoes; all I had were my Reeboks. I changed into my light blue spandex shorts and top. Then I panicked when I realized the top bared my belly. I looked in the bathroom mirror to see if my stretchmarks were visible. I guess Howie was right, I don’t have them. At least not that anyone would notice.

I walked over to the T.V. and turned it on. Flipping through the channels, I found an exercise show. There was barely enough room between the bed and the T.V. but I managed to do everything the woman was doing. That workout was so easy, it insulted my intelligence, but I went through it anyway. I turned off the T.V. and pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. I spritzed the ponytail with spray gel so it wouldn’t look frizzy. I checked my watch, it was 10:30, so I decided to go downstairs and wait for Stacy. I put on my white nylon jogging pants and matching jacket, grabbed my purse and went downstairs.

I stopped on the second floor so I could buy a Gatorade in the gym. When I came in, Nicole was behind the desk again, but she was too busy folding towels and talking to a coworker to notice me. I slid a dollar into the machine and got the kind I wanted: Glacier Ice. Nicole still didn’t notice me as I walked out.

When I got down to the lobby, I went into the gift shop and looked at the magazines. I found a copy of Dancemagazine and bought it. Hoping it would inspire me, I settled into a stuffed lobby chair and began reading. I read an article about a woman in her 50’s who hadn’t danced in twenty years and is now getting back into it. ‘Well, if she can do after twenty years, I most certainly can after three,’ I thought to myself. I was so engrossed in the article when I heard a familiar voice.

"Ciao bella!" I looked up and saw Stacy standing over me, looking beautiful as always. Her long, straight black hair was pulled back into a tight bun. She wore a very low-backed red leotard with black nylon jogging pants and black Reeboks. She had a leather backpack like Howie’s slung over her left shoulder. I stood up and gave her a hug.

"You look cute," I told her.

"Thanks, so do you."

"I hope it’s okay that I don’t have a leotard, or the right shoes. And should I have put my hair into a bun?"

"Relax, you look fine. Besides, there are girls in the class that wear shorts and a t-shirt and dance barefoot with their hair all loose. The class is pretty informal, it’s jazz, not ballet."

Relieved, I grabbed my Gatorade, purse and magazine and followed Stacy out to her car. We drove to this vegetarian restaurant that Stacy and I used to eat at all the time while we were in rehearsals for the Backstreet Boys’ ’98 tour. While we ate our lunch she told me that, while my outfit was fine for class, I would need a pair of soft leather jazz shoes for the audition. She promised to take me to Capezio after class so I could buy some.

The warehouse that was now used as a dance studio had the same dingy look it always had. Howie always thought the place was depressing, but it held very fond memories for me. I did some of my best dancing here. Stacy was right; it didn’t matter that I didn’t have the right clothes, because there was no such thing as ‘the right clothes’. Two girls were dressed in midriff-baring spandex tops like mine and shorts. One of them was barefoot. I was relieved that my hair was okay, too. I hated putting it in a bun because it never stayed. I saw a girl who, like me, had long curly hair. She wore it down and kept having to blow it out of her face. But that didn’t stop her from getting all the combinations on the first try.

The class was surprisingly easy, even the bar work. I don’t know if it was the workout I had yesterday or if I just never lost my ability to dance, but I was feeling pretty damn proud of myself.

After class, Stacy and I went to Capezio so I could buy the shoes I needed for my audition. Then we went out for coffee and played catch-up some more. I liked spending time with Stacy; she was so much fun to talk too. She provided me with some dancers’ gossip.

"Steve and Renee are back on the road again, they’re with the touring company of Rent," she told me.

"What about Monica?" I asked.

"They reconciled with Renee’s parents and they agreed to take Monica for the six months they’ll be on the road." I wondered if mine or Howie’s parents would agree to take Danny for six months if I ever decided to go on tour again.

"Anyway, guess who I saw last weekend, you’ll freak!" she squealed.

"Who?"

"Jaime Ortega!" she said, looking disgusted. Jaime was a dancer on the ’98 tour. Well, he wasn’t really a dancer. He lied on his résumé to get Fatima to hire him. The only dancing he’d ever done was in front the bathroom mirror, it seemed. I was two months pregnant with Danny when I heard the news that he’s been fired for missing too many rehearsals. Fatima also checked his references and found out most of them were fake. The reason it took so long for her to get around to checking them was because they really needed guys. Jaime wasn’t a very good dancer but he could fake it pretty well from the last row.

"What’s he up to?" I asked.

"Well, I saw him in a club. He was hitting on some girl and then got into her fight with her boyfriend. Needless to say, I didn’t stay around long enough to have a friendly chat," she giggled.

We finished our coffee and then Stacy took me back to her hotel. She had to go to a fitting for a fashion show she was going to be in on Sunday. She gave me two comps with two backstage passes.

"You can decide which of your two gorgeous guys you want to take," she teased. We had just pulled up in front of the hotel. I gave her a hug as I got out of the car. Just as I stepped out, I noticed Howie’s car pull up behind Stacy’s. She must have noticed it, too, because she put her car in park and got out. Howie and the bodyguard got out first, then Howie lifted Danny out of the car. Stacy made a beeline toward Howie and Danny. Danny’s face lit up when he saw her.

"Stacy, ciao bella," he shouted. That was his favorite phrase in Italian and Stacy was the one who taught it to him. She took him from Howie and bounced in her arms.

"Baci, mio ragazzo piccolo bello," she gushed. He obliged her by kissing her cheek. Then Stacy looked at Howie.

"Hey, dulce," she said. She called everyone either dulce, Sweetie, inamorata or some other endearment.

"Hey, Stace," he said, smiling.

"Listen, I’m appearing in the BCBG spring show. I gave Maggie two comps with backstage passes, if you’re interested."

"Thanks, but I can’t go. I have business to attend to," he said, with a look of regret.

"Oh right, Mr. Land Owner," she teased. Howie owned his own property management company. His company owned the building Pollyanna lived in and she was the property manager.

"Well, we can’t all be gorgeous models," he teased back. Stacy gave him a dazzling smile. Was I imagining it, or were these two checking each other out?

Just then a porter came out and told Howie and Stacy they would have to move their cars because they were blocking traffic. Stacy handed Danny to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Bye inamorata," she said. Then she kissed Howie on the cheek. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and hugged her. That hug seemed to last just a bit too long. Stacy got into her car and drove off. Howie signaled for a valet to park his car.

"Mind if I come up with you for a bit?" he asked.

"Not at all." We entered the hotel followed by the bodyguard. Danny had fallen asleep on my shoulder. While waiting for an elevator, Howie asked me about my day.

"Dance class went well. Very well as a matter of fact," I told him.

"I knew you still had it. So, did you and Stacy have a lot to talk about?"

"What do you think?" I said. Howie laughed.

"She did all the talking I bet."

"She did most of the talking."

"Well, one thing that girl does well is talk your ear off," he said, winking at me. An elevator opened and we all stepped on.

"So, how was Disney?" I asked.

"Cool," said the bodyguard, "I love that place." Howie and I smiled at him. I didn’t have the heart to tell the bodyguard that I wasn’t talking to him. We got to our floor and parted ways with the bodyguard. When we entered my room, Danny woke up and announced he was hungry.

"Hungry? Little Man you ate non-stop all day!" said Howie.

"But I’m hungry now and Mama says I’m growing," he whined. Howie took him from me and sat him down on the bed. Then he turned to me.

"You heard the boy, what’s there to eat?" he laughed. I went over to the mini bar and pulled out two cokes and a diet coke and three Nutra-Grain bars. Howie took two bars and two drinks and sat on the bed next to Danny.

"I suppose we could order a pizza," I said.

"Coletti’s?" asked Danny.

"No, Boo, not Coletti’s," I said, messing his hair.

"But Coletti’s is the best," he said. Howie’s eyes got big as he looked at me.

"Your family should put this kid in their commercials," he laughed.

"I don’t know…"

"Why not? After all, he’s got showbiz in his blood," Howie said, winking at me. I opened a dresser drawer and took out the yellow pages.

"Put that away," said Howie taking his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. "I got this great place on speed-dial. Their pizza’s just as good as Coletti’s." He reached over and tweaked Danny’s nose. Danny giggled.

"But how do you know? You’ve never had our pizza before," I said, putting the phone book away and closing the drawer.

"Just humor me, okay," he said as he pressed the speed-dial button. He waited for a minute and then placed his order.

"Yes, one large pizza with extra cheese and one spinach and cheese calzone," he looked right at me as he said calzone. I rolled my eyes.

While we waited for the food to arrive, Danny found a movie on HBO Family, "The Adventures of Milo and Otis". The front desk rang up notifying me that the pizza was here and I told them to send the guy up. I grabbed my purse and raced Howie to the door.

"I’ll pay," I said. Howie threw up his hands in defeat and sat back down on the bed. I paid for the food and gave the guy a huge tip. I believe in tipping big, especially since Stacy and I were both delivery drivers in high school and would often get stiffed. I took the two boxes over to the bed. I took a bite out of my calzone. It was good, but not great. Danny took a bite out of his pizza, chewed, swallowed and looked pensive.

"Well?" asked Howie.

"Not as good as Coletti’s," declared Danny.

"Not as good as Coletti’s," I agreed. Howie looked at us in mock disgust.

"Snobs!" he snorted.

"They don’t have the right kinds of cheese," explained Danny, "they need Asiago and Ricotta." Howie looked at Danny as if he didn’t know who he was.

"What are you doing to this kid?" He asked me, laughing.

"If he didn’t know his pizza, we’d have to disown him," I said, winking.

Danny and Howie finished the rest of the pizza, well Howie finished almost all of it. I finished my calzone and threw the empty boxes away. Danny started to yawn and Howie helped me get him into his pajamas. He settled down under the covers in the middle of the bed. Howie and I stretched out on either side of him. I flipped through the channels until I got to a boxing match on Showtime.

"Leave that," he said. He watched for a minute before turning to look at me. "You know we still need to talk, don’t you?" he reminded me.

"I know. So, what are we going to do about this?"

"You’re right, we don’t have to get married to take care of our son."

"But you made a point today when you wanted to know what I would say if Danny started asking questions."

"That’s really the only thing that bothers me. I know it must bother you too. Your family’s just as traditional and Catholic as mine."

"Well, my family’s become more tolerant of breaking tradition over the years. My brother, Michael, got divorced last year. And my sister, Lucy’s been living with this guy…"

"Okay, okay, I get the point," Howie said. "What I’m trying to say, is that he’s going to ask sooner or later and we’re going to have to think of something to tell him. He’s growing up differently than we did."

"Why don’t we just tell him that we’re still friends, we just don’t love each other any more?"

"That’s kinda cliché, Maggie."

"I don’t know how else to explain it."

"Well, we can start by telling him that we both love him..."

"And?"

"And, even though we don’t all live together, we’re still a family."

"Okay, that sounds good. Now that we figured it out, do you still want to have lunch tomorrow?"

"Yea, we could still have lunch. Maybe Danny and Pollyanna could come too. That way, we can explain everything to Danny…"

"And Pollyanna’s mind will be put at ease?"

"Exactly," laughed Howie. "Besides, she can take him for the afternoon while we’re at the gym."

"Good idea."

"Of course, the pool in her building isn’t as nice as the one at the hotel."

"I don’t think Danny will mind."

"Good," said Howie, getting up and stretching. "I would spend the night, but I see that my bed has been removed. Seriously, I have some paperwork to look over with Pollyanna in the morning, so I really must be going." He leaned over and kissed his sleeping son on the forehead. I walked around the bed and gave him a hug.

"I’m going to be ruthless tomorrow, so you better rest up, too," he said, winking. I watched him walk down the hall and knock on the bodyguard’s door.

***

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