Chapter 22:
Falling Into Place
I spent another restless night tossing and turning wondering how the guys were
going to take the news of my departure. It seems like it has been such a long
time since I've actually had a good night's sleep, it would be nice to get into
my own bed. I sighed and pulled myself out of the blankets peering at the
clock. Seeing it was only eight am, I fell back under the covers and just
stared at the ceiling.
The thoughts that were running through my mind almost made my head spin. There
were so many things to think about these days. I really did need those
unexpected visits from the guys yesterday. They helped to put things in
perspective but I still felt lost. I was so glad that Brian actually came to
see me. I truly did think our relationship was forever gone. Even though we
really didn't say much, just his company was enough for me to not give up hope.
Everything will fall into place I said before forcing myself to get up and
start the day.
******************************************************************************
By the time Trish knocked on my door I had already showered, dressed and packed
for the few days that I would be gone. I didn't bother to pack up everything
because I would just be coming back here to the hotel when I was done so I
managed to stuff everything I needed into my duffel bag. I briefly toyed with
the idea of taking all of the Mizpah stuff but decided instead to take a mental
vacation from that as well.
"Wow sweetie, I have to say I'm
impressed!" Trish said as she saw me ready
for once.
"See I can be on time when I need to
be!" She laughed as she checked her copy of my itinerary of the day.
"So, you do have everything you need
right? I would hate for you to forget something" she said scanning the
room.
"I'm only gonna be gone for two days
right? So I'm only bringing this bag." She looked surprised. "Are you
sure that's all you want to bring? I mean I know how you are, so NOW's the time
to make sure you aren't forgetting anything."
"Hey, didn't you tell me that you weren't
my mommy? Well, you are sure acting like one." She came and lovingly
kissed me on the cheek and mockingly pinched them.
"Wook at this wittle face, I could just
squeeze you"
"All right, knock it off! It's still not
to late to fire your ass!" She loosened her grip on my cheeks and pulled
away. "You know what Mr. Carter, you missed an important date today!"
I laughed at the silly pout she had on her lips. Even though Trish was in her
mid forties, she could still act like a kid when she wanted to. That's why we
got along so well. "What am I missing Trish? someone's birthday?" She
smacked me on the back of the head. "No silly, today is our
anniversary!" I looked over at her a bit confused. She saw the look on my
face and just laughed. "Excuse me?"
"I have been with you guys for four years
today! So where's my present?" I instantly felt like crap, but the smile
on her face assured me that she realized I wouldn't remember something like
that. If she didn't remind me when my birthday was, I would most likely miss
it. I gave her a big bear hug.
"Thanks for being the best assistant
ever!" I said and we stayed that way for a few minutes. She went to walk
out of the room before gently grabbing my hand, "Nick I..."
"You what?" I asked her as she
suddenly looked very solemn. She then transformed in front of my eyes and
plastered a big smile on her face. "It's nothing, I'll see you in the car.
You know what you're gonna say to the guys yet?" I nodded and then she
left.
I looked around the room before leaving and my eyes fixed on my Mizpah drawer.
I was beginning to think that maybe I would take the stuff with me. I walked
over and opened the drawer. I decided to only grab the journal. I figured I
could jot down some notes in the journal or reflections or whatever the hell
you are supposed to write in these stupid things. I took one last look at the
room before closing the door and heading to my meeting.
******************************************************************************
This time the meeting was held at AJ's house and the overall tone was a lot
happier. we discussed my decision first. Kevin said a few things and then gave
the floor to me. I stood up slowly and looked up to see all eyes on me.
"Okay, well I know the first time I did
this, I flew off the handle a bit, but now, today, is a new day and um, well I
still don't really know what to do." They laughed.
"I want to stay in this band. I really
do"
Kevin cut me off, "So, then what's the
big problem? You want to stay, we want you to stay" I looked over at him.
Good old Kevin trying to make things more simple than they really are.
"Well, it's not that easy exactly, see I
have to leave again." Sighs where heard throughout the room. "We had
this thing scheduled for a while but Trish forgot about it. It's in Marathon
and I'm hosting and Trish said it's too late to back out." AJ had his head
in his hands but everyone else was looking directly at me. "I'm really
sorry guys and if you don't want me to go, then maybe I could just blow it
off."
Howie cut in "you can't just blow off a
hosting gig Nick, that would make all of us look bad! when do you have to
leave?"
Boy I was so hoping that that wouldn't come up
"Um well here's the thing, it's today. I have a flight out in about an
hour." Nobody said a word so it was hard for me to tell what the mood was.
I went to my back up plan. I took out my resignation and handed it to Brian. He
took it from me and rolled his eyes when he realized what it was.
"Nick why are you giving this to
me?" he said as he tried to hand it back.
I stopped him "So this is probably the
cowards way out but, I'm leaving it up to you. That is my resignation. it's
signed and ready to be used if need be. If you guys want me out, then I'm out.
I love you guys. I know I have been impossible lately but you need to do what
is right for the group. I'm done being selfish."
They all looked a little shocked but not mad.
"Nick, do you actually think we would throw you out of the group?" AJ
asked with his head still in his hands.
"J that's what I felt was happening
yesterday so, yeah I guess I would think that."
He grabbed the letter from Brian "Hey
look I have something to wipe my ass with!" They all cracked up as he tore
my letter in pieces and said "YEY!" as he through it up in the air
like confetti. They continued to laugh at the baffled expression I must have
worn on my face. AJ came over, put his arm around me and said "Sometimes
you are too cute junior" He then walked out of the room mocking me
"I'll leave it in your hands!"
Kevin came over "Nick, go host your show
and when you get back we'll start over again. How does that sound?" He
hugged me and walked out the door. That left Brian and Howie in the room.
"Did you know I was gonna do that or
something?" D nodded and Brian smiled.
"That's what happens when you know
someone so well. Have a safe trip" Howie said as he hugged me and left.
Brian sat there with a smile on his face.
"You know we will work things out you and I. Like Kevin said, we're
starting fresh."
"Oh no, does that mean that I can't use
my we've been together for ten years speech anymore?" I said smiling at my
own joke.
"Yeah bonehead, you can still use that
one." He got up and headed for the door. "Nick, be safe and we'll see
you in a few days!" he said walking out and leaving me feeling alone but
refreshed.
I wish I would have known, I would've said so much more.....
***
