Chapter
4:
Misconceptions and Dinner with Old
Friends
During
my run as a famous guy, I have had so many people read an article or two about
me and assume that they knew me better than myself. Some things reported are
actually pretty close to the truth like that I'm always late for everything or
that I enjoy playing pranks. Both of those things are correct, although, the
last time I really played a prank on the guys, I think I was like 18 or
something. Most of the things people write about us in the fluffy magazine's
like Bop or 16, are totally bogus. I might mention once that I kind of like the
color green, only because they press you about it and suddenly the next thing
you know I get green this or green that. I would like to once have the courage
to stand up to the press people during an interview or press conference and say
"Okay people, I hate green, my feet don't smell,Willa never beat me up and
I'm not dumb" That would never happen because, I am shy. I hate public
speaking. That's why I always say dumbass things when put on the spot. No
matter how many times we rehearse it, what exactly I'm going to say, I still
end up sounding like an idiot. I used to really care about what everyone
thought of me but over the years I have become much more cynical.
One
thing that I even played into was the whole Frick and Frack thing.
One
day probably about 5 or 6 years ago. Brian and I were, I don't even remember, I
think we were making fun of Kevin or something and we kept finishing each
other's sentences.Howie said we were just like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, but
Bone was quick to point out that we were to skinny for those nicknames.
"Okay
how about Frick and Frack" When Kevin said that we both looked at each
other and cracked up. The next day as a joke Brian had two hats made for us his
said Frick and mine said Frack. Two weeks later the nicknames were all but
forgotten except that a paparazzi guy happened to take a picture of us wearing
those and soon we were eternally marked with those names. I enjoyed it. I think
Brian did too. We never actually called each other that even though we were
inseparable. That was also true. Brian was my best friend, the guy I went to
for advice, to hang out with and to bitch with. I had had fights over the years
with everyone but I seldom ever fought with him. The years went by and we have
drifted apart but never to the point that I couldn't even call him Rok. Today,
at the studio, I reached that point. It felt so weird. I was startled out of my
thoughts by a knock on the door. I opened up to see Howie and Kevin.
******************************************************************************
"What
are you doing here?"
"Nice
to see you too Nick, Jeez what a nice welcoming" I didn't mean to offend
Kevin, I just wasn't expecting him to be here. Kevin as if reading my thoughts
said "Kristin had to head back to N.Y a day early so I thought I'd join
you guys. Is that okay?"
'Of
course man" I was kind of happy that Kev was coming. I missed his company.
We
decided to go have a late supper at a posh restaurant instead of going out to a
club which was fine by me. I was hungry and ever since my arrest, I liked to
stay as far away from clubs as possible. The owner of the restaurant gave us a
table all the way in the back. We had our own private room. No fans or press. I
was a little uneasy at first but soon, being with my two oldest brothers felt
very comforting. I always had a special bond with those two guys. Kevin has
been supportive of me every step of my career. The good as well as the bad. He
put up with my hot temper, mood swings and pompous attitude when none of the
other guys did. I never respected him for that until I was old enough to
realize just how much he meant to me. Howie was the same way. I have always
picked on him the most but believe it or not, He has been the most protective
of me, even more so than Kevin at times. People give Howie a hard time because
he is small and quiet but out of all of us, he could really beat the crap out
of someone if he wanted to.
The
rest of dinner was spent talking about how things have been for the last few
months. I wasn't sure if I should bring up my album or not. Part of me wanted
to burst out and talk about how excited I was but now I wasn't sure if they
cared to know or not. I decided it would be best if I didn't bring it up unless
they asked and was a bit disappointed when they didn't. We did have a good time
though. I started to feel comfortable around them and decided to ask about
Brian.
"So,
Brian seems upset about something, he hasn't been acting like himself for the
last few days. Is everything okay with him?" I knew I was taking the
weasely way out of asking if Bri was mad at me, but hey I needed some kind of
info.
"No,
actually Brian's doing real well, he hasn't seemed odd to me. What about you
Kev?"
"Nick,
he just feels betrayed that's all. You have to admit, you've been pretty
selfish about this whole thing" So there it was, suddenly dinner took an
unpleasant turn and I found myself getting defensive.
"Excuse
me? You know you guys told me to go ahead and go for it. I had your full
support you said. So, what the hell happened to that?"
Howie
could tell I was getting upset. Not angry more hurt.
"Nicky,
don't get upset, you asked and Kevin told you. We do support you, you must
realize that right? Now come on and let's not fight tonight. We had a great
dinner, let's not leave on a sour note." Howie was right, I didn't feel
like getting mad. I was too tired. We finished our meals and made our way back
to Howie's where we talked about life, love and happiness. No more mention of
Brian or my solo career.
The
words Kevin said etched in my brain as I rode back to the hotel. Selfish?
wasn't that the word that showed up in most of my hate mail? Why would Brian be
talking about me anyway? I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. Too
many negative thoughts going on. My cellphone rang as I entered my room.
"Hello?
Hello? is anyone there?" must have been the wrong number. I headed to my
bathroom to brush my teeth and froze in my tracks when I saw the front door. Taped
on the inside of the front door was an envelope. I felt my heart skip a beat as
I approached it and wondered how it could have possibly been put there. When I
noticed that the front of the letter said Mizpah I realized that for the first
time in quite awhile, I found myself scared for my life.
***
