Chapter 2
3 weeks
later
I walked into the
bathroom and looked into the mirror.
When I looked at myself I saw a stranger. My hair was messed up, there were tearstains
all over my face, stubble on my chin. My eyes were a dull color blue, and my face
was as white as the color of my wife beater.
I was going nuts
just sitting in this house. I couldn’t
take it anymore. You ask why? The guys are having fun on tour when I'm stuck
here pulling my hair out watching them. I haven’t heard one word from them for
the past three weeks but then again why would they want to call a trader?
An idea formed in my
head. If I did it no one would care, not
the guys, not the fans, not my family. I
pulled open my cabinet and found a package of razor blades I hadn’t opened
yet. I opened the package and took one
of the razor blades into my hand. I
twirled it around in my fingers.
This thought of
suicide always ran through my mind, and now I had the opportunity to do
it. I placed the cold edge of the razor
to my wrist as I stopped for a second and took a deep breath. Was this right?
Of course it’s right.
This is what you always wanted to do, Nick. Go ahead and do it. No one will care. There will be no tears shed for you, my
conscience said, as I shook my head and gripped the razor blade.
I closed my eyes as I pushed the razor blade into my flesh. My skin started to burn as blood trickled
down my arm and landed in a puddle on the floor next to my feet. My grip on the
razor blade loosened as I heard it clatter on the floor.
I finally realized what I did when a wave of nausea ran through
me. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it
tightly around my wrist as I made my way towards the doorway, and another wave
of nausea came upon me.
I lost my balance and held onto the wall and closed my eyes as I
stood against the wall. I open my eyes a
few seconds later and felt a pain run through my arm.
I made my way towards the phone and picked it up as I started to
feel dizzy. I dialed a few numbers and
closed my eyes hoping the person I was calling was home. The phone rang a few times before someone
picked up.
Hang up Nick! You don’t need him! my
conscience said, as I shook my head again.
“Hello?” I heard Brian’s voice ask.
“H…help me Brian,” I said my voice barley a whisper.
“Nick! What’s wrong?” he asked as I gripped the phone in my hand
and tried to get my words out.
“I’m bleeding,” I said as a pounding pain came to my head.
“OK, hold on, Nick. I’ll
get you help,” Brian said, as I fell to the ground, and my world went black.
***
