Chapter 2:
Intercede
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for
us with groans that words cannot express." ~ Romans 8:26
I don't know what to do. I've never seen Alex like this before. I
mean, sure he parties and stuff like that but never this much. We got a game to
go to, we've all gotta be there and one of us has to throw out the first pitch.
It would all be fine, except AJ refuses to get up, 'cause he's all hung over.
Something happened to him, and I don't know what. It's like, he's
just giving up--throwing in the towel. I don't understand. I wish he'd just
talk to me. He always used to talk to me when he was having a hard time. Now...
I don't know.
When his mom called to tell him about that his grandma died, I'd
followed him into the room while he took the call, 'cause I could tell
something was about to go off. He's become like this time bomb or something.
Anyway, I was in there and he just got this look to him. He was all pale and
just said, like, "Oh God, no." Soon after, he hung up and in just a
second, he changed.
He threw the cell across the room--it got totally busted up. He
was cussing and all of a sudden it looked like his legs just buckled. 'Cause
the next second, he was on the ground. He was on his knees holding his head in
his hands... He just started bawling...
I never told anyone that because it was just so scary to see. I
mean, I've known him since before the group started. I knew him when he was
just a skinny 14-year-old kid with his MC Hammer pants. And then, to see him so
broken up, it just hurt my heart. I didn't know what to do, so I went over to
him. I got in front of him.... He was saying, "No...No...No..." over
and over again.
I said, "Alex. I'm sorry. Whatever it is, man. I'm
here." When I tried to hug him his head snapped up and he shoved me off
him. He was just like, "Get the hell away from me! You don't know
shit!" And I was just shocked, you know, 'cause it's all I was trying to
do to be there for him and be a friend and all, and all of a sudden, I don't
mean anything...
I know he was hurting. Later he came out and told us what had
happened, that he had to go home because his grandmother had just passed away.
That was the point where I could just see that he was going over the edge.
Needless to say, he started drinking all the time to deal with the
pain or something... I don't really know. His personality had changed a lot too
before then though. He'd already been doing a lot more partying and a lot less,
I don't know, of anything else, I guess.
I'm watching Kev pace around the floor right now. He just had
enough of waiting on AJ and went in to tell him some things. From the way it
sounded, Kev let him have it. All at once. 'Cause now he's all nervous, pacing
around, wondering if what he said was too harsh. We haven't seen Aje yet. It's
been 15 minutes since Kevin came out of there. Frick and Frack are quiet for
once in their lives, and we're all waiting on Alex to make an appearance...
Kevin's real upset that maybe AJ won't show up at all now.
I guess Kev was wrong...AJ came out a half-hour later...He looked
like hell... Just stood in the middle of the room for a minute. His eyes were
all red. He looked right at Kevin and said, "You're right."
Kevin looked like AJ'd punched him. He got pale and AJ just started
to talk fast--tried to get everything out at once. It all kind of ran together
until the sentence that made us all shocked.
"Guys, I have a problem. I need to get help. I called my mom
already. I gotta get out of here and deal with this on my own...I'm sorry for
being such an ass-hole." AJ looked down at the carpet, and fidgeted with
his shirt a bit.
I looked around at the other three guys. Brian stood up, and
crossed the room right away to where AJ was at. He looked right him and was
like, "I'm proud of you." AJ nodded. He looked uncomfortable
Nicky was just sitting off to the side in a chair. His expression
hadn't changed at all. He still looked disgusted, like he did when we were
waiting for AJ to come out of his hotel room. He didn't make a move for AJ. In
fact, he left the room when it was clear that the important talking was done.
Somehow, Kev had become a complete mess. He was just real sad and
crying. But AJ went over to him and told him thanks for what he did. I hope
that made some difference to Kevin. Though it's hard to say right now.
The next day, AJ got on a plane to Phoenix. All of us were there
to see him off, and it was just real hard to digest because everything was
happening so quick. By that time we were all pretty much not in good shape at
all. We were all crying. AJ told us he was scared.
But he did it. He got on the plane. I've been praying for
something to give in him for so long, but now that it's actually happening,
there's this huge void... He's my best
friend, and he's all the way out in Phoenix...
But he's doing what he needs to do, and I'm grateful for that more than
anything else.
Oh yeah, and the game. Nicky threw the ball.
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