Chapter 17:
The Toppers
I got out of the meeting and was barely able
to breathe. I had no idea what to do. I sat and listened to Brian and AJ go on
and on about what they found in Nick's room. They were going into such detail
that I found myself reminiscing about all of those people who were in those
articles. I loved them and missed them all. I noticed Brian glare at me a few
times during the meeting. I think he is still suspicious of me. I don't know
what else to do. Is it worth it? Has any of this been worth it? To see the
worried expressions on the faces of these guys. It made me sick. I wanted to
tell them he was okay. He wasn't suffering. That we were taking good care of
him. I couldn't though.
Brian and AJ walked out of the room dejected and sad. I wasn't sure when I had
last seen any of them smile. I decided to walk over and give Brian a big hug
and thank him for turning the stuff over. When we hugged my heart was pounding
so fast I thought for sure he would have figured everything out right then and
there.
He seemed to think I was genuine. The truth is, I was genuine. I really was happy
he turned that stuff over to the police. Part of me was anyway. I want this to
be over. Maybe if the police figure it out than I won't have to do anything.
Joe would never turn me in. That much I know. I could rid the world of him and
finally be free to stop running. Once and for all.
I have enjoyed this job far more than the others I have had to take. The long
hours have been unbearable sometimes but overall, It had been so much fun.
These people were my friends. Especially Nick. We have spent so many hours
together and he has let me into his heart. I love him. I really do.
I decided to give my brother a call. Check and see how the boys were doing
without me. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. Than I dialed Joe's
cell...
*************************************
I stood over his sleeping form ready to make the kill. Something was holding me
back. I raised the knife standing over him. I wanted to make a clean cut right
through the heart so he wouldn't feel much. Mom had always told me a knife
wound through the heart isn't painful. You can't hurt what isn't there she
would say.
I lowered the knife and decided to drop down on my knees and say a quick prayer
for Nick before he went to join the rest of the Topper family. My family. I
knelt beside him and placed my hand on his forehead. It was so warm. How could
somebody with no heart have a body so warm? He shifted a little bit at my
touch. I put the knife down on the ground and placed both hands over the place
where his heart would be.
Dear Father, please take this man, my brother Nick into your keeping and let
him sit beside you until I take my rightful place by your side. He is a good
boy.
I placed my ear to his chest. There was a heart in there.
Sorry Nick than this is gonna hurt afterall. I sat and watched him breath
hoping he would awaken. I wanted to see his eyes one more time.
"What are waiting for now wussy boy?" Mom said standing over my
shoulder staring down at Nick's resting form.
"I want him to wake up before I send him away"
"You mean kill him don't you son?"
"NO! It isn't killing if God asks you to do it" Mom laughed.
"Did you hear that husband? He doesn't think this is killing?"
"Yeah I heard" Dad replied.
"You know what I think sonny boy?"
"I don't care what you think Mom" She walked over and sat on Nick's
chest.
"Oh, I'm so hurt! I think you are a cold blooded killer Joseph! Look what
you did to me. Look what you did to dad." She exposed her bruise marks to
me, just in case I forgot I strangled her.
"You were different though, you were evil!" She laughed. My father
joined in. They both sat on Nick laughing at me.
"Stop it" I said covering my ears. They continued.
"I SAID STOP IT!" I looked around the room but they were gone. Only
me and Nick. I stood up crying and a bit shaky looking for the knife.
"My son, it is time. Why do you keep putting this off? Don't you love
me?" My Lord put his loving hand on me and I immediately began to calm
down.
"Yes I love you father"
"Well, than, what is keeping you from sacrificing this lamb for me?"
"I love him too father"
"Joseph, sometimes we have to make ultimate sacrifices so that we may go
to heaven"
"I know"
"Remember when you died on the cross for me?" I looked up at him and
nodded.
"You are my son. You need to do this. You will not enter into heaven
unless you do this for me!" His calm voice grew intense and loud. I ran
towards the door.
"Joseph you MUST KILL HIM NOW or you will be condemned to an eternal
hell!"
"Yes, father" My head was pounding so badly I was seeing double. I
needed Trish to be here. Just than my cell phone rang.
***********************
"Hello?"
"Hey Joe, it's me. How is everything going over there?" I didn't like
how he sounded. Very shaky and unattached. The way he gets when he hears voices.
"Not good. I have to do it now Trish"
"What do you mean baby?"
"God said I have to kill him now" I tensed at the words.
"No, Joe! Listen to me, that wasn't God. You are hearing voices again
sweetie. God wasn't there."
"Yes, he was Trish and he was mad. He said I would go to hell if I didn't
kill him now"
"You will not go to hell. It's not time Joe, it's to early. Please don't
do this!" I started to pace in the bathroom.
"No, Mom I am not a wuss!" Joe was arguing with my Mom. This wasn't
good. He only saw her when his delusions became dangerous.
"NO Mom I will I promise. Trish make her stop please make her stop calling
me names!" He was crying.
"Honey listen to me, calm down and close your eyes." He was muttering
something to himself. It sounded like the words to Amazing Grace. If I didn't
calm him down he was gonna kill Nick right now.
"Joe, are you listening to me?"
"Yes" he answered in a terrified whisper.
"Mom and dad are not real. They are dead. You are just imagining
them."
"They are laughing at me Trish"
"No they aren't. They aren't there at all" I could here him rustling
around the room.
"Honey are you there?"
"Yes Trish"
"Okay. Where are you?"
"The spirit room" Oh my God! He had brought Nick up to the room.
"Listen to me Joe, where is Nick? Let me talk to him" I was concerned
because I had barely heard a peep besides Joe's ranting. I was afraid that Nick
might already be dead.
"He is sleeping"
"Why? What did you do to him?" I realized right than that when AJ had
called him it probably sparked this attack.
"I had to make him stay quiet Trish. AJ would have heard him. I flung him
and threw the bed on top of him." I gasped. Placing my hand to my mouth to
muffle a scream I felt coming on.
"Is he alive Joe?" I asked when I was finally able to talk. Please be
alive!
"Yes" I let out a relieved breath.
"Listen to me, you need to bring him back downstairs. Don't do anything
until I come home."
"But Trish I have to kill him. They said I have to kill him NOW!!"
"NO!! Don't kill him now! you have to wait do you understand me?" I
raised my voice to him to get my point across. There was no answer.
"Yes, I understand."
"Okay good now bring him back downstairs and take some Haldol for the
voices." He was whimpering.
"Did you hear me?"
"Yes I heard you Trish"
"So, you're not gonna kill him than right?" A long pause where I
didn't allow myself to breath.
"No, I'll wait" I smiled.
"Good boy. I love you"
"I love you too"
"Now, bring Nick back downstairs and go and rest."
"Okay"
"I will try to be home soon"
"Good. I don't like it when you aren't here Trish."
"I know baby"
"I gotta go, I've been in the bathroom for too long now."
"Okay bye"
"Bye"
*****************************
I put the phone down and dropped the knife. I wiped the sweat away from my eyes
and picked up Nick's sleeping form.
"Where are you going?" My mother yelled after me. I refused to answer
her. She wasn't real.
"Hey wussy boy! I'm talking to you! Come back here and kill that boy
NOW!!"
"You're not real" I said over and over again as Nick and I made our
way out of the Spirit Room and back down the stairs...
******************************
I poured some water on my face not believing how close I was to losing Nick
before I got a chance to say good-bye. I stood over the sink and cried. I
needed to get back home to Joe before he did something stupid. I'm gonna ask
them for a week off. I splashed some more cold water on my face before heading
out the door.
I never expected to see Kevin standing outside the door waiting for me. His
eyes bulging and fearful. I tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arm and
said
"WHY?"...
***
