Chapter 3
It's so funny how when you look out a car window at high speeds, everything
seems to become the same dull blurry color green. No matter what it is you happen
to be looking at. The trees go by so fast that they all blend into each other.
I think that is what started to go wrong for us. We have been together on this
crazy ride for so long going at such a fast pace that we all started to get
blurry. We blended, first our voices, then our personalities until eventually
we as people went away only to be replaced by the dullness of being one of
five.
Thank God for small miracles. The day Leighanne came into my life is a day that
the blurry green was replaced by a radiant yellow.
I sit up a little and stop staring at the endless passing shrubbery. Just
thinking about Leigh makes my pulse quicken and my mind a little clearer. Being
away from her, even if only for a few days, was a hard task. She is my world
and without her all things seem monotonous.
I look over to AJ who is quietly sipping on his soda and I smile at him
secretly wishing he and Sarah would find even half the happiness that Leigh and
I have been fortunate enough to share. I wish she was here. But she's not.
There's no room for yellow in the blurry world of Backstreet. Instead I have to
deal with them.
I gaze into the back of my youngest band members head with such animosity that
it almost makes me sad. We were at one time the best of friends, two peas in a
pod, brothers in arms. Until I found Leigh, he was my missing half. In a purely
platonic way. Now he is a stranger. When I look at Nick, I see hurt.
I hear a sneeze and immediately say bless you to Howie sitting on the other
side of J. He says thanks and continues to sleep. I regret getting into a fight
with D but quickly shake it out of my mind. There is enough tension in this car
already.
I turn my thoughts back to Nick. Five years is a big age difference. He is one
place and I'm in another. We can't seem to ever meet in between. Leigh tells me
it happens sometimes. Even the best of friends drift apart. I could do better.
So could he. Leigh and I are almost six years apart. I feel no difference in
age when it comes to her. She has been the best thing that has ever walked into
my life.
"What are you thinking about?" AJ asks me. I look over at him and
almost keep it my secret but instead answer proudly "Leigh" A sarcastic chuckle can be heard coming from
the front seat, but I choose to just ignore it. J nods his head and goes back
to nursing his soda.
9:37am. I wish I had taken something to help me sleep on this trip.
"Kevin, how long before we get
there?" I ask with the slightest hint of anxiety in my voice.
" We have a long way to go yet Bri"
He says annoyed. I fidget to try to stretch my legs.
'You can borrow my game boy if you want to Brian, I'm not using it right
now." Nick says as he stretches behind his head to hand me the game. I say
thanks and take it. I want to say so much more but for now the words are lost.
Maybe I would find them later. I start to play but soon realize that my 27 year
old eyes cannot adjust to the motion and stay in focus on the game, so I put it
down and once again stare out the window.
The dull blurry trees still blending together....
***