Chapter 6
Next rest stop 10 miles away according to the
sign we pass and I begin to worry that I will not be able to wait that long. I
need to go to the bathroom now. there was a time that I could go for hours
without ever having to empty my bladder but the older you get, the harder it is
to get the plumbing to work. I start to fidget nervously in my seat.
I notice that the car has once again quieted down and Nick has given up trying
to find a decent radio station for us to listen to. I begin to fiddle with the
dial myself. Anything to get my mind off having to pee.
It seems that we have hit a patch of road where the only noise coming from the
radio is static. The irony makes me laugh. If anything described our sorry
state these days it was the word static.
Things were unclear. That is literally what the higher ups from Jive said to us
when we had our meeting. "Boys right now your future is unclear to us and
we were hoping you could enlighten us as to the status of your group right
now." I remember hearing those words and sensing the end. I had looked at
my four bandmates at that instant and saw my feelings mirrored on their faces.
They were looking for answers. So were we.
The truth is we had no idea ourselves what our 'status' was. All we knew was we
didn't like being in the same room together. Not anymore...
"Kev, do you want me to drive for a little bit?" I heard my cousin
ask. I was tempted to say yes but decided not too. Why stop the car unless it's
to relieve myself.
"No, that's okay, we'll be stopping soon
enough. I can manage." I then make a point of looking at him through my
mirror and smile. He's a good guy. They all are.
Maybe Jive did the right thing sending us away. No wives, fiances or
miscellaneous influences. When they were telling us about the trip and that it
would be just the five of us, Brian was adamant about not going unless Leigh
could come too. This made some of the guys mad, but not me. I understood
completely.
Leighanne, just like Kristin and Sarah had become our new found loves. A love
that was true, honest and very clear. Unlike the static that the five of us
produced, only a clear connection to our souls could be found by our
significant others. A love that Howie and Nick just couldn't bring themselves
to understand.
Jive refused to let them come. So we are now forced with finding clarity in our
strange relationship alone.
The first argument about this broke out right in front of the big wigs at Jive.
Brian and Nick were almost to the point of fisticuffs. I was embarrassed. The
executives looked at us with an expression of sheer pity. Brian went one way
and Nick went the other. The remaining three of us not sure what to do just
stood there in silence staring down at the floor.
I hadn't realized until that moment how out of control we had let things
become...
Suddenly the static gives way to a faint song. I recognize it but it comes and
goes so I am about to turn it off when Nick's hand grabs mine.
"No leave it alone" he says.
"It will come in clearer in a minute. Just give it a chance." I smile
at him wondering if he realizes how many layers there are to that statement.
Probably not.
I had mixed feelings about this trip from the time we had heard about it right
up until packing to leave. Kristin said that she thought it was a great idea.
It would be just what we need to happen. Clear out the cobwebs and find the
problems. That is what scared me. Problems aren't meant to be found. I tried my
best to share her optimistic attitude but it has been hard...
The song comes in once again and much clearer this time. It has changed since
the last bout of clarity and I can't help but to hum along with it.
I start very quietly to hum along with the song as it sends me back to my
childhood. Thoughts of fourth grade, recess, first kisses and no stress. the
time of my life.
I feel my body start to move with the repetitive beat of the song and my
youngest band mate joins in with the humming. I look over to see him shaking
his head back and forth as he hums and mouths a recognizable word hear or
there. Was he even able to have the same kinds of memories about this song as I
have? He would have only been a toddler.
Music is timeless.
As we hit the chorus suddenly five voices can be heard in unison singing
I love rock-and-roll
Put another dime in the juke box baby
I love rock-and-roll
Come and take the time and dance with me
Then a high growl happens from the back and we all start dancing and laughing
like crazy. The song ends but we are momentarily having such a good time we
hardly notice.
"God I love that song" Howie says from the back. It reminds me of my
brother. He used to wear leather jackets and pretend he was a Blackheart."
"Okay that's gotta be the friggin
funniest thing I've ever heard" AJ says in response and we all start to
laugh again.
The next song brings about a sudden mood change in the car as
"Drowning" begins to play. We all fall silent. then out of nowhere
once again the sound of our harmony is replaced by the growing murmur of static
until that is all that can be heard.
Before I switch of the radio I think of the irony of it all....
***