Chapter 11

Nick Carter fidgeted with his keys, his cell phone, and anything else he could get his hands on. He wished furiously for a cigarette but knew it wasn’t the way he wanted to see his best friend for the first time in a year. If they were still best friends, Nick thought. Last time he’d seen Brian, they’d fought about Nick’s solo career, his arrest, and the fact that he was abandoning the band to further his own glory, as Brian had put it. Then, he’d stormed out of the meeting room. Kevin had told him to let it go, but Nick had been angry and sworn to never speak to the brother of his heart again.

The plan had been working pretty well, except that Nick had found himself desperately wanting to call Brian whenever anything important happened. When he’d heard about Leighanne’s wedding, Nick had picked up the phone only to get Brian’s answering machine. His nerve failed when he had thought about calling Brian’s cell. The day Now or Never came out, the day he found out how badly he’d failed, BJ’s arrest with marijuana, and the day he’d found out about AJ’s relapse, Nick had itched to pick up the phone and call Brian. Until he remembered that Brian hadn’t called him. Obviously, Brian was moving on and didn’t need Nick in his life. So, he hadn’t gone to Brian’s twenty-eighth birthday bash he’d gotten the invitation for. If Brian didn’t need him, then he most certainly did not need Brian.

Nick had been surprised when he’d received a call from Brian, two weeks ago. Brian had asked him how he was and if he was going to be home during the third week of April. Nick’s schedule had been depressingly empty, but he’d tried to make it sound as though he was busy. When he heard the saddened note in Brian’s voice telling him that it was okay, he would try some other time, Nick had told him that he could make room.

Now, Nick stood outside the Marathon airport waiting for Brian to walk out. He still didn’t know what he would say but hoped that he would say the right thing. He’d called Kevin, asking if it was a good idea to see Brian. Kevin had laughed and told him to go for it, that maybe he’d be in for a surprise. Nick sincerely hoped the “surprise” would not be painful.

“Nick!”

He looked around to see who was calling his name. Then, he spotted Brian and waved back. He watched Brian as he walked towards him. He’d lost weight, was the first thing that popped into Nick’s mind. The guy had been skinny to begin with and now looked downright sickly.

When they were face to face, they stood awkwardly, until Brian reached out and hugged Nick. When Nick hugged him back, Brian felt an ocean of relief flood away his anxiety.

“How have you been?” Brian asked.

“Not bad. You?”

“I’ve been better,” Brian answered.

Nick shook his head. “I’ve seen junkies with more meat on their bones than you, man. Let’s get you some food.”

“I’d rather just talk,” Brian began.

“Dude, we can talk while we eat. I feel like I’m looking at a poster child for the Sudan or something,” Nick muttered. “You are going to eat everything we get.”

“What about you?”

“I’m trying to lose weight,” Nick grinned over at Brian as he unlocked the doors to a dark green Jeep. Brian just shook his head.

“You’ve still got this old heap?” he asked, amused that Nick had so doggedly hung onto his first car.

“Yeah. Are you laughing at me?”

“Nope. I think it’s nice that you hold onto your old treasures,” Brian answered soberly.

Nick shook his head and pulled into traffic heading to town.

Fifteen minutes later, they walked into a restaurant that looked the equivalent to a beachside shack. It advertised “The Best Shrimp and Lobster in Marathon” and smelled like heaven to Brian.

They settled into a booth in a corner and a waitress came over to take their order. If she realized who they were, she didn’t say. Nick ordered a small basket of shrimp for himself. Brian ordered the same, then, seeing the look on Nick’s face, ordered a large basket of shrimp, breaded cod, coleslaw, and french fries.

“So,” Nick began, leaning back in his chair, “you came all the way from Atlanta to talk. About what?”

Brian sighed. “I’m living in Lexington, right now. I bought a cottage. I still have the place in Atlanta, but I needed to be out of it for a while.”

“You should have sold that place three years ago, Brian. It’s not helping you to stay in the house you and Leighanne lived in,” Nick said.

“I know, but I still love it. Anyway, I wanted to see you. To apologize,” Brian added.

Nick leaned forward. “Brian, I—why now? Why not months ago?”

“Because I wasn’t ready. I thought I was in October, so I tried to call you but found out your number was changed. I couldn’t get a hold of Howie or AJ, either,” he added. “I’m sorry about the things I said a year ago, Nick. I was still bitter over Leighanne, worried about AJ, and I didn’t want us to fall apart. The Backstreet Boys was all I had left, and I couldn’t handle losing that because you wanted to go out on your own. So, I lashed out and said things I ended up regretting. Your album was amazing, and I was angry with myself for not being there with you when it came out,” Brian finished.

Nick blew out a breath. “I don’t know what to say, Bri. All this time, I’ve wanted to call you, but I didn’t because I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. If I had known you didn’t have my number, I would’ve called you. I did call you once, but you weren’t there.”

“When?”

“The day after Leigh’s wedding. I called you at home and got your answering machine. I was too nervous to call your cell. I guess I chickened out,” Nick admitted.

Brian sighed. “If I had known…I would’ve tried harder to find you sooner. I really am sorry, Nick.”

They stopped talking while the waitress delivered their food. Brian looked from his pile of food to the single bucket of shrimp that sat in front of Nick.

“Are you sure you don’t want any of this, Nick?” he asked.

“Uh-uh. It’s all yours, man. You need it much more than I do.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey! I’m trying to be the good best friend by feeding my starved pal, okay? That does not qualify me for jerk status,” Nick tried to sound offended.

Brian simply watched him.

“What?” Nick asked after a minute.

Brian shook his head. “I’m just wondering if we are still best friends, or friends at all.”

“Well, of course we are! Why else am I letting you stay at my place for three days, Brian?” Nick wondered.

“I just—well, I just thought that after everything I said, you might not want to be friends,” Brian explained.

“Nope. As soon as you called, I knew it would be okay. It’s always been okay between us, Frick. When we weren’t talking, I was scared. But, now, I know we’ll be okay,” Nick replied.

“God, Nicky,” Brian felt overwhelmed, then laughed when he saw Nick’s pained expression. “Sorry, I forgot. I promise I’ll never call you Nicky again.”

Nick reached across the table and grabbed Brian’s hand. “I’m so glad I’ve got you again. I’ve been on unstable ground for a year. The album tanked, the tour tanked, my life tanked. I just need to know I’ve got you still.”

“Yes,” Brian promised. “I swear to you, I am going to be the supportive friend. I promise.” Then he pushed back from the table. “I cannot eat anymore, Nick. Not even if you give me the evil glare. It’s too much.”

“Dude, give me a break,” Nick rolled his eyes. “You ate like half the shrimp, half the coleslaw, a teeny bit of that fish, and, oh look, no french fries. Seriously, hasn’t anyone been feeding you?”

“Yeah, but I have all this nervous energy and work it all off,” Brian answered.

“So, you’ve been eating your mom’s food, and it hasn’t stuck to you. What have you been so nervous about?” Nick asked.

Brian looked over at him. “Seeing you, Howie, and AJ again. It’s scary not knowing if you guys will take me back or leave me in the dirt. And, for the record, my mom has not been feeding me,” he added.

“Can I just say that Howie, AJ, and I have been really leery of seeing you again because we’re afraid we might get yelled at again?”

“Yeah, Kevin said something like that when I got around to talking to him on my birthday,” Brian answered. “I’m sorry I made you guys think I wanted nothing to do with you. Honestly, you guys are the closest friends I have, or had, and I’ve been floundering without you. I’m glad we’re okay, now.”

“Yeah, me too. Hey, let’s go get some ice cream and hang out on the beach!” Nick suggested, excitedly.

“Pal of mine, it’s dark out. Why do we want to go to the beach in the dark? We are not on a date,” Brian reminded him jokingly.

“No, seriously. The moon’s supposed to be full tonight and the stars’ll be out. It’s the most amazing thing you’ll ever see,” Nick promised.

“All right, you win,” Brian threw up his hands.

“Awesome.”

“So, who’s been feeding you the past couple months?” Nick asked, as he and Brian wandered along the beach where the waves barely lapped at their bare feet. Brian carried a cone topped with strawberry shortcake, while Nick’s was Rocky Road.

“Huh?” Brian asked. “Where did that question come from?”

“Well, earlier. You said that your mom hadn’t been feeding you, but that somebody had been feeding you,” Nick explained.

“Yeah, well, it’s this woman I met last July,” Brian began.

“Hold up. You’ve been dating a woman for almost a year, and it hasn’t been in the newspapers yet?” Nick wondered. “What is the world coming to?”

“No, I haven’t dated anyone since Leigh,” Brian explained.

“So, you’ve been celibate for three years? Wow,” Nick said admiringly.

“Shut up and let me finish,” Brian retorted. “So, last July I walked into this flower shop to buy my mom a flower bouquet or something for her birthday because I was back in town. The woman who runs the place, Sienna, she built it from the ground up. And she’s gorgeous. I talked to her about everything that night. But, we didn’t sleep together,” he quickly added before Nick could ask.

“I know. You’re Brian. You never sleep with a woman until you’ve been dating at least a year,” Nick reminded him.

“Oh be quiet. Anyway, I was attracted to her and still am. But, last summer, she had a boyfriend, so it was a no go. I saw her again in February because my mom hired her to decorate for my birthday. She made Kevin and me talk. Since then, we’ve been hanging out, and she’s been helping me plant my gardens at my house,” Brian finished.

“Ah,” Nick said. “It makes sense, now. She must be a strong and smart woman to hold against the Brian Littrell charm for so long.”

“She’s amazing, and she is attracted to me. She told me, but then she said she just wanted to be friends because it would be more challenging to be friends knowing that we both wanted each other,” Brian defended himself.

“Crazy. I think I want to meet her,” Nick replied.

“Drop by Lexington and meet her.”

“Maybe I will, Bri, maybe I will.”

***

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