Chapter 15

Howie and Liv spent the majority of Friday and Saturday together—away from the others. While they waited to be seated at the theatre on Saturday night, Sienna told AJ that she hadn’t seen Liv at all during this trip, except when they were sleeping. Which, Sienna had to admit, she hadn’t seen Liv do, since she came in after two on Friday night and was gone when Sienna awoke.

AJ smiled. “Well, I guess D finally got hooked properly. Good for them. I wouldn’t complain if I were you.”

Sienna shook her head. “I’m not complaining. I think it’s great that Liv’s happy. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re not already half in love with each other.”

AJ crushed out his cigarette and hooked arms with her. “Darling Sienna, your best friend is quite possibly in love with a very good friend of mine. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you were jealous of her because you and Rok can’t get your act together.”

“What?!” Sienna sputtered. “Where the hell did you get an idea like that from? Who said Brian and I have any feelings for each other apart from friendship?”

AJ shook his head and chuckled. “Please. Apart from Howie and Liv, the two of you are quite amusing to watch. You pretend not to be attracted, while really all you want to do is jump each other.”

Sienna hmmphed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have never and will never feel the need to “jump” Brian. It’s a foreign concept to me.”

“What’s a foreign concept to you?” Brian asked, coming over to where the two were standing. He carried a cup of coffee, which he handed to AJ. “Hopefully, that’ll keep you awake during the show,” he said to AJ, then turned back to Sienna. “So, what’s a foreign concept to you?”

“I, uh, well…”

“Sienna? Sienna McKinnon?” a voice from behind her interrupted.

Sienna turned to see who it was, then gasped.

“Josh? Josh Torrel? Oh, my lord, it’s been far too long!” she said to the tall, dark-haired man who grinned back at her.

“Only about four years,” he reminded her. “And you never did keep in touch. Though I guess I should share part of the blame for that, too.”

Sienna shook her head. “I never expected to see you. I mean, I know you still lived in the city, but wow. Four years,” she repeated wonderingly.

Josh smiled. “Yeah, but in four years, Si, you’re still the same. Still can’t go anywhere without guys following you, huh?” he nodded at Brian and AJ, who were quietly observing the conversation.

Sienna grinned. “Sorry, where are my manners? Daniel Torrel, AJ McLean. AJ, Josh. Oh, and Brian Littrell, Josh Torrel.” The men shook hands and murmured greetings.

“So,” Sienna turned back to Josh, hooking an arm through his. “Tell me, how’ve you been?” They began walking around the other milling theatre-goers and away from Brian and AJ.

“Not too bad, though there have been moments,” Josh told her. “Although, you have certainly come up in the world. Hobnobbing with celebrities and all. The Backstreet Boys, huh?”

Sienna grinned. “We’re friends. I met Brian last year, and the others I met in the last few months. We’re here to see Kevin Richardson’s last show.”

“He’s playing Billy Flynn, right? I hear he’s supposed to be really good,” Josh said.

“I bet he is, too. I’ve met him. He’s a great guy and talented, too. All of them are.”

“Great. I also hear you’re running a florist shop?” Josh asked her.

“Yup,” Sienna answered proudly. “It’s been rated one of the best in South Lexington, Kentucky. I love owning my own business. It’s more freedom and gives me more room to be creative."

“And you’ve got creativity in spades, if I remember correctly,” Josh said. “How’s Liv? She lives in Lexington, too, right?”

“Yes, she does. Actually, she’s around here somewhere. Then again, she may be with Howie Dorough, another of the Boys, who’s also here. It wouldn’t surprise me if they start dating, like, now,” Sienna said, amused.

“Wow, like I said, you’ve certainly come up in the world. So, Liv’s dating a celeb, how about you? Anyone special?” Josh wondered.

“Nah, not really. I don’t really have time, either,” she answered. “The shop takes up a majority of my time. In fact, Brian had to persuade me to come here this weekend and used Livvy to help, too.”

Josh smiled. “I see the tenacious Sienna still exists. I’m glad you’re doing well. Really.”

Sienna tried not to think of how, in the past, she and Josh had had their share of arguments and had split after two years of dating, during their time at Columbia.

She shook off the past and looked up at him. “So, how’s Jenny? Last I heard, the two of you got married. How’s that going? Is she here?”

Josh’s smile faded quickly. “Yeah, we were married a couple months after graduation. You were invited but didn’t come.”

“Right, I remember. I was in the middle of negotiations for my shop,” Sienna explained.

Josh nodded. “Anyway, we were married, and she began working for a company that used to be on the 73^rd floor of the World Trade Center. She was seven months pregnant, and September 11 was supposed to be her last day at work before maternity leave.”

Sienna squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Josh. I know how much you loved her. She was a great person. And, I’m sorry about the baby, too.”

Josh shook his head and managed a smile. “It’s in the past, but sometimes it hits you hard, you know?”

Sienna agreed. She knew perfectly. Just then, there was a commotion around the doors leading into the auditorium, and people began to move through to find their seats.

“We’d better get going,” Sienna told him.

“Yeah, I’ve got to go up towards the Mezzanine,” Josh told her, as she began moving towards the doors to the front rows. He stopped her. “Sienna, would you like to have dessert or coffee afterwards, with me?”

Sienna smiled. “Of course, I would. Should we meet here, then?”

Josh nodded, then bid her goodbye.

“Enjoy the show,” she called back to him and watched a smile flash across his face.

Sienna made her way into the theatre and found her arm caught, suddenly. When she turned to see who held onto her, she wasn’t surprised to see Brian.

“I was just waiting for you to come in. So we could get to our seats, you know,” he explained when he saw her questioning look. “By the way, who is Josh, anyway? AJ and I were wondering,” he added quickly.

“An old friend from college. He lost his wife in the World Trade Center,” she told him. “That makes me sad because she was a great woman. So full of life and generous with everyone.”

Brian shook his head. “That’s terrible. He still lives here?”

“Yeah,” Sienna murmured, as she thought of how her two ex-boyfriends happened to live in the same city. Strange how life worked out sometimes, she thought.

When she spotted AJ waving them over to where he sat with Rene, Brianna, and his mother, she tugged Brian after her. When she reached AJ and the empty seats on his other side, she smiled.

“Hey, are these taken?”

“Nope. Wanna sit?” he invited.

Sienna seated herself, and then, when she spotted Howie and Liv, she looked up at Brian, who had been about to sit next to her.

“Hey, Bri? Is it okay if Livvy sits next to me?” she asked him.

Brian looked over as Liv and Howie made their way down the row of seats then shrugged. “Sure.”

He ended up sitting as far away from Sienna as could be managed because between them sat Liv, Howie, John, and Pollyanna.

Pollyanna patted his hand as the show began. “Kevin’s going to be amazing. I can’t wait,” she whispered. Brian simply nodded and forced a smile.

As much as he tried to concentrate on the show and Kevin’s parts, he found himself wishing increasingly that he had stayed seated next to Sienna. Which would have made him a bad guy, he reminded himself. Just before intermission, he casually leaned over to see how Sienna was doing and found that her head was leaning against AJ’s shoulder as she watched the drama unfold on stage intently. AJ was also watching the show but was playing with the fingers of her right hand. Jealously, he wished he were the one she leaned against. Then, realizing how ridiculous he sounded in his head, he pushed all thoughts out of his head. The rest of the show he spent thinking of nothing but Chicago and the skill with which Kevin played Billy Flynn.

Unfortunately, after the show when Sienna disappeared, jealousy reared its ugly head again. When he asked Liv where Sienna had gone, she told him that she was going out for coffee with her old, college boyfriend, Josh. So, Brian spent the ride back to the hotel alone and steaming.

Inside his room, he had to restrain himself from throwing a tantrum. It wasn’t as though she had promised him anything, Brian kept reminding himself. They were adults, who were not dating, so of course they were free to see other people. Besides, she wasn’t out on a date. She was simply catching up with an old friend. Brian repeated the facts over and over in his head as he packed his things for their departure from New York the following morning.

He heard Liv come back around midnight and called out “Good night” to her. Then he started wondering how long it would take two people to drink coffee, anyway. Certainly not four hours, he thought when the clock ticked one o’clock.

He had just stepped into the living room to pour himself a glass of water when he heard Sienna’s voice in the hall. Without thinking about how it was eavesdropping, he rushed to the door and peeked out through the peephole. Sienna and Joshua stood talking, but the door muffled the sound of their words. Then, as Brian watched, Joshua leaned in, cupped Sienna’s face in his hands, and kissed her. Brian realized he couldn’t watch anymore and, picking up his glass of water, he made it back into his room and shut the door just as Sienna opened the door to the suite.

He waited half an hour, until he saw the lights go out under the other door before he picked up his cell phone and dialed the number of the only person he thought he could talk to.

Liv woke out of a dead sleep when her phone vibrated next to her head. Wondering who would be calling her at nearly two in the morning, she answered. After murmuring quietly, she promised to meet in the living room. Then, making sure Sienna was still asleep, she slipped out the door. Sienna waited several moments before creeping to the door and listened to the conversation between a rather disheveled-looking Brian and Liv.

“I don’t know how much more I can handle,” Brian told Liv. “I try so hard not to be needy, just to be a good friend. But, Livvy, I need her more and more everyday. She’s never going to feel the same way, though.”

Liv reached out a hand and squeezed his reassuringly. “Bri, why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

Brian snorted. “Are you kidding? She’d laugh at me and say that we had agreed not to date because we liked being friends more. She doesn’t even know what she’s doing, either.” He ran his hands through his hair and wearily over his face. “I never felt this way about Leighanne, you know? This is the first time I’ve felt so desperate. It’s killing me, and I don’t know whether to beg her or to cut myself away from it all.”

“What do you really want, Brian? Besides, Sienna. Do you want to just separate yourself from her or just get it off your chest by telling her how you really feel?” Liv asked him. When he didn’t answer, she sighed. “Maybe you should think about it. And try to get some sleep, otherwise, you’re going to be exhausted tomorrow.”

“I know,” Brian whispered wearily. “I think I know what I’m going to do, Livvy. What’s less painful for me to do, in any case.”

Sienna decided she couldn’t listen any longer and crawled back into bed. She made Brian that distraught? How could it be that he needed her more than she wanted him? She’d never had anyone want her so badly—more than she had wanted them. She desperately wanted to ease his misery by just agreeing to be more than friends. Unfortunately, she knew it wouldn’t be fair to him. Sighing, she snuggled deeper under the covers and tried to sleep.

The following morning, Sienna packed everything and walked into the living room and looked around. Liv was on the phone and drinking a cup of tea, while Brian stood on the balcony, eating his way through a bagel. She grabbed a pastry off the room service tray and stepped onto the balcony.

“Good morning,” she greeted Brian.

“’Morning,” Brian said, barely looking at her.

Sienna tried again. “I love this city in the morning when it’s just waking up, don’t you? If I could live anywhere besides Lexington, I’d come back here.”

Brian nodded. “It’s a good city. Lots of history.” He glanced down at his watch. “Sorry, I have to make a phone call. Be ready in twenty minutes,” he called over his shoulder.

Sienna nodded then wondered what decision he had made hours before. She walked back in and poured herself coffee and sat with Liv.

The whole drive to the airport, Brian was on the phone, and Sienna watched the scenery go by, wondering when she could talk to him about how he was feeling.

When they boarded the plane, Brian’s seat was two rows ahead of Liv and Sienna’s seats, and, during the flight, Sienna finally asked Liv if it was her imagination or was Brian distant?

Liv shrugged. “I think he’s tired and thinking about the Healthy Hearts Club fundraiser he has to plan. It’s coming up soon. At the end of August, I think.”

Sienna felt like kicking herself. She knew that. Brian had told her a month ago, but had she been listening, really? Not as much as she should have, Sienna thought. Well, she would just see if she could be a better friend and try not to do anything that might further hurt him. It was a good thing, Sienna thought as she settled back to take a nap, that Josh had only kissed her as a goodbye kiss. They had agreed that they probably wouldn’t really keep in touch, and there was no point in fooling themselves. The past would simply stay in the past, Sienna thought, then fell asleep.

***

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