Chapter 21

The package sat on her desk where it had sat for a day and a half, now. Faith had overnighted it to her, thinking Sienna would appreciate having a present Brian had left her sooner rather than later. Finally, tired of wondering what lay beneath the blue and purple wrapping paper, she broke it open and opened the box. The card inside read, Thank you. Always, Brian. Lifting out a dancing pig with a clock set in its belly, she began to laugh. When the laughter threatened to become hysterical sobbing, Sienna stopped herself and put the pig back into the box and returned to the financial documents for her parents’ restaurant.

“Sienna?” a voice interrupted her work.

She glanced up and froze. Then, slowly she set down her pen. “What are you doing here?” she asked Brian, who stood in the doorway and glanced around the room.

He walked in and sat at the chair across the desk from her. “I wanted to see you, and Faith told me you were here. I need to explain everything, Sienna. Please. Then, if you still can’t forgive me, I’ll get out of your life,” he told her.

Sienna sighed. “Fine. Go on, explain. I doubt it’ll do much good,” she added.

“I told you that the kiss and what happened between Leighanne and me had nothing to do with you, but I was wrong,” he began. “It had everything in the world to do with you and the relationship I want to build with you. The thing is, the whole time I was with you, I was afraid that I still had feelings for Leighanne. I mean, I missed her as a friend, as someone I could just talk to. But, I was afraid that somehow I still cared about her, while the only person I truly wanted to be with was you.”

“So, you’re telling me that you didn’t know how you felt? You didn’t know your own heart and mind?” Sienna asked, incredulous. “Please, Brian. Come up with something better.”

“You know it’s true, Sienna. Why else do you think I needed a therapist for so long? Anyway,” he continued, “I thought the only way to find out if I really had any feelings for Leigh was to just kiss her. And, when I did, I realized I felt nothing. Not a single thing—except for happiness because it was only you I really had feelings for. Everything else I was confused about was residual. It turns out Leigh felt the same way, and, now, both of us can really and truly move on. I’m sorry that it hurt you, that it made you feel as though I didn’t care. Because, really, I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about another woman. Including Leighanne. I’ve got all these crazy, mixed up feelings inside me for you, and I just want a chance to prove them to you,” Brian finished.

Sienna looked down at her hands for several moments and tried to prevent the tears from overflowing. Brian watched her, nervous. “Sienna, would you look at me, please?” he asked her gently.

When she did, the smile on her face nearly blinded him to the tears that poured down her cheeks. “Oh, Brian, I’ve been such a mess,” she whispered. “I hated you for kissing her and hated Leighanne for having had a past with you. I guess I just let it all get to me,” she told him.

He rounded the desk and, kneeling before her, brushed the tears from her cheeks. “If you ever doubt how I feel about you, just ask me. Talk to me, Sienna. That’s the only way we can work this relationship. And I really, really need it to work because I really, really need you,” he added.

Sienna laughed and, throwing her arms around him, kissed him. It left him breathless but full of joy because they were together again, and he felt nearly invincible with her by his side.

Drawing back, he stood, perched on the edge of the desk, and peered down at the papers on her desk. “What’s this? And what are you doing at this restaurant?” he asked her. “I mean, I know it was your parents’ place, but what are you doing here?”

“I inherited it and didn’t want to sell it,” she explained. “So, my uncles advised me to hire a manager, someone I trusted completely, to run the place. Every January, I come here to make sure the books are all in order because I’m the legal owner of this place.”

“Huh. So, why is it called Jamie’s?” Brian wondered. “Did your parents name it after a relative?”

Sienna shook her head. “No, they named it after my brother.”

“Wait, I thought you were the only child,” Brian reminded her.

“I had a younger brother named Jamie. He died when he was three months old of a heart infection,” she told him. “You know how that is.” When he nodded, she continued. “Anyway, after that, when my parents opened this place, we agreed to name it in honor of him.”

“I’m sorry about your brother,” Brian told her.

“Me, too,” she replied. “I was six when it happened, and it shook me up quite a bit. After that, my parents couldn’t have any more children, so I was the only child. They heaped all their love on me, and I couldn’t sell this place because it would be like letting go of them completely.”

Brian nodded. Then, he grinned. “You know what we need? Besides changing the subject because it’s making you sad again,” he added. “We need a song. One that’s just for us, that’ll remind us of each other always. And one that I had no part in singing,” he added.

Sienna nodded. “How about the next song that comes on the radio?” she suggested.

When she flicked the radio on, a rap song poured through the speakers, and Brian started laughing. “That’s it! We’re going to have a 50 Cent song be ours. That’s incredible!”

She glared at him then hit another button. Commercials played on the next station, but, before she could change it, Brian stopped her. “Wait the commercials out,” he told her. “I have a good feeling about this station.” Sienna shrugged and waited.

After the commercials and the radio station’s jingle, Clay Aiken’s “This is the Night” began to play. Brian snapped his fingers and “Ah-ha”’d. “Perfect! Dance with me, Sienna,” he added, holding out a hand.

Though she felt ridiculous, she let him hold her and lead her in the dance. As she listened to the lyrics, she felt better about the song and figured that if they had to have a song, this one was better than most.

When the world wasn’t upside down

I could take all the time I had

But I’m not gonna wait

When a moment can vanish so fast

Cause every kiss is a kiss you can never get back

When the answer to all my dreams

Is as close as a touch away

Why am I here

Holding back what I’m trying to say?

This is the night

Where we capture forever

And all our tomorrows begin

After tonight we will never be lonely again

Lift me up

In your eyes

If you told me that

Is what heaven is

Well, you’d be right

Hold me close

To your heart

I would go with you to the ends of the earth

And we’ll fly

I’ve been waiting forever for this

This is the night

When the song ended, Brian continued to sway with her, his lips pressed to her temple. The song was perfect, he mused. It summed up everything they felt about each other. So, good for the American Idol singer, he thought.

Sienna pulled out of his hold and, framing his face with her hands, kissed him again. This time, they both kept the kiss gentle, sweet and poured everything they felt about the other into it. She smiled when it ended.

“I’ve got all these crazy, mixed up feelings inside me for you, too,” she told him. “I was so confused by the time Christmas Eve rolled around and seeing you with Leighanne made me even more confused.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian apologized again, but she shook her head.

“No, I don’t want any more apologies,” she told him. “Just promise me that the next time you decide to kiss a woman to find out if she means more to you than just a friend, we should either not be dating, or you should tell me first.”

Brian chuckled. “Don’t worry, from now on, I plan on asking you before I do anything.” Then, remembering something, he grinned. “Except for this one thing. The guys and I talked stuff over the night after we taped Oprah and figured out a lot of things. We’re going to record another album, get our old manager back, and they’ve agreed to let me record my own gospel album. If I ever get signed, of course,” he added.

Sienna smiled. “Of course they’ll sign you! Haven’t they heard your voice? I’m really happy about the five of you coming together again, Brian. You all deserve it. I have to confess that I’ve been listening to your songs, and they’re not so bad. I really, really like As Long As You Love Me. It’s so sweet, and your verse sends shivers down my spine. Of course, that might just be because I’ve got you,” she added.

“Uh-uh, darling. On the contrary,” he said, scooping her off her feet, “I have got you!”

Brian stayed with her for the next three days, then, when he got a call from Kevin saying that Johnny had agreed to talk to them, he had to leave. They would be meeting Johnny in a remote spot—somewhere neutral for all of them to talk, Brian explained to Sienna. Howie had lent them a property he had impulsively bought for himself on Orcas Island off the coast of Washington State. The Boys and Johnny would meet there and work through an agreement.

So Brian flew out to Washington, and, after three days, Sienna finished up going over the books for Jamie’s and returned to Lexington. When she arrived home, Liv was waiting for her, nearly jumping out of her skin with excitement.

“Look!” Liv squealed as soon as Sienna had made it to her porch. She waved her left hand in front of Sienna’s face and grinned like a lunatic. Sienna saw something shiny on her third finger and grabbed Liv’s hand.

“Oh, my goodness. Livvy!” she squealed. “Howie asked you to marry him!” Liv nodded, then burst into tears. “Oh, oh, honey,” Sienna opened the door quickly. “Come on, let’s sit and have a good cry. A happy cry,” she added and settled Liv down on the couch, draping her arms around her.

Liv wept for a few minutes then sniffled. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m so happy I feel like I’m going to burst inside. Howie was here for the last week and a half,” she explained. “He spent more time with my family, and of course they love him. It turns out that he asked my dad for his blessing over Thanksgiving. Thanskgiving!” Liv exclaimed. “He’s been thinking about marrying me since then! I hadn’t even realized I loved him then, but somehow he knew. God, I love him. I’m so scared, though,” she murmured.

“Of what?” Sienna wondered. “You’ve got a man who’s crazy about you. He’s obviously head over heels in love with you and thinks the world revolves around you. Your family likes him, his family likes you, he’s asked you to marry him. I don’t see what’s wrong in that whole scenario. Unless, you don’t love him enough to marry him,” Sienna said slowly. “Liv?”

Liv shook her head. “God, no. Si, he makes me so crazy in love that I can’t see straight. I love him, and I’m sure he’s the one. It’s just the whole marriage deal, you know? I didn’t even think that there was a guy out there who would want to marry me, at this time last year. And, now look! He’s given me a ruby! A freaking ruby!” she looked down at her hand again. “What am I scared of?” she asked herself suddenly. “If I screw up, Howie’ll fix it because that’s how it goes, right? When you mess up, the other person’s always there to help you through it. I need to talk to him.” She stood up. “I’m sorry, Si, I gotta go call him.” And she was gone.

Sienna smiled to herself and wondered if she and Brian would ever get to that stage. The marriage stage, she thought. She couldn’t see her life without him and hoped that he might one day feel the same about her. It might just kill her, she thought, if she had to let him go and see him with another woman.

Then, shaking off those thoughts, she decided to stop by the shop before it closed and see how Marlena had done running it for two weeks.

The taxi stopped in front of a cozy-looking cottage on a street facing the winter beach. Brian paid the driver and walked up to the door. Nick opened the door when he rang the doorbell and greeted him.

“AJ and Howie are here, already,” he told Brian. “Johnny called from the airport. He’ll be here soon, too.”

“What about Kevin?” Brian asked him.

Nick shrugged. “Kevin doesn’t want to leave Kris alone, especially since she could pop any day now. I have a feeling Kristin is going to make him come up here, though. My money’s on her,” he added.

Brian agreed, then, walking into the kitchen, he greeted the other two men. Howie was cooking something while AJ lounged in a chair at the kitchen table.

“Nice house, D,” Brian told Howie and sat at the table with AJ. When Nick continued to stand with a funny, slightly sick-looking expression on his face, Brian cocked his head quizzically. “What’s wrong, Kaos?”

Nick ran a hand through his hair. “If I tell you guys something, will you promise not to laugh at me?”

AJ smiled, slyly. “That depends on how stupid whatever you did is. Did you get arrested again?”

Nick shook his head. “No, man, it’s nothing as bad as that. Besides, I’m way over that. I wouldn’t do it again.”

Howie set a pot of spaghetti on the table and turned to Nick. “Nicky, just spit it out. It can’t be that bad.”

“I’m dating Paris Hilton,” Nick blurted out.

Three pairs of eyes glued themselves to him, until AJ shook his head. “No, really, Nick. What’s really bothering you? Nice joke, but I don’t believe it.”

Nick let out a frustrated breath and dropped into a chair. “See, I knew you’d think it was funny.”

“You’re serious?” Brian asked him, leaning forward. “You’re really dating the infamous heiress?”

“Hey, she’s sweet,” Nick defended the absent Paris. “We’ve been dating for a month, and I like her.”

AJ shook his head. “Man, I never saw this coming. First, you start hanging out with Tommy Lee, and, now, you’re dating the blonde bombshell heiress. Are you trying to live the rock star lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock and roll?”

Nick glared at him. “Tommy’s a great guy, and Paris is a wonderful woman. I don’t do drugs, anyway. I’ve learned that lesson. Besides, it’s not like you guys aren’t getting any action, either,” he countered.

AJ leaned back. “Gentlemen,” he said to Brian and Howie, “I believe Nick is under some false impressions. I’m not having sex lately, neither is Brian. The only one here I presume is having sex is Howie over here. Right, D?”

Howie shook his head. “I don’t know why I hang out with you guys. But, yeah, I might be. And the term would be “making love,” AJ. Because Liv and I are in love.”

“See?” Nick said. “I’m not the only one in the sack with a woman.”

Brian held up a hand. “Why are we talking about our sex lives? Why are you having sex with a woman you’ve known for a month? And why the hell wasn’t I asked if I was having sex?”

AJ rolled his eyes. “Sex is something guys fantasize about all the time. Didn’t you get the memo, Rok? Nick can’t keep his hands off Paris because, well, he’s a healthy male. Although a month is a short time, Nick,” he shook his head. “And, right, we’re not asking you about yours because you’re not in a relationship anymore. And, if you were, you still wouldn’t have done the deed because you take a year to make up your mind. Remember?”

Brian looked miffed. “Well, for your information, I am in a relationship. I groveled on my hands and knees, and she forgave me. Thank God,” he added. “And, fine, you’re right. I do take quite a bit of time to decide to be with someone intimately because it’s important to me.”

The phone rang, and, Brian being the closest to it, he leaned over and picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hi, this is Jane Kearney. I was wondering if I could speak to Howie Dorough, please,” a woman spoke on the other end.

Brian looked over at Howie, who gestured that he didn’t want to answer any calls. “I’m sorry,” Brian told the woman. “I’m afraid he’s not home right now. Can I take a message?”

“Oh, well, I was just calling to confirm whether or not Mr. Dorough is engaged to be married to the dessert chef, a Miss Olivia Taylor, at a Lexington, Kentucky restaurant. I’ll just call back,” she said and hung up.

Brian placed the phone on the receiver and turned to Howie. “Hey, D. Is there something you want to tell us?”

Howie shook his head. “Nope. If I did, I would have told you already.” He paused. “Okay, all right. I asked Liv to marry me, she said yes. There, that’s all.”

Nick was the first to break the silence. “Wow, congratulations, Howie. I guess you decided to ignore us and ask her. I’m really glad.”

“Thanks. She’s a little nervous, now,” Howie told them. “She thinks she’ll mess stuff up, but I told her that I’d fix it. And she laughed and said she figured that’s how it would work. Of course, if I ever screw up, I know she’ll fix it, too. That’s how it goes, right?”

Brian nodded. “I think so. I mean, I think that’s how Kevin and Kristin work. That’s how my parents worked. It’s a partnership, and I can’t think of anyone who deserves you more than Livvy. I’m happy for you guys.”

“Me, too,” AJ added with a smile.

The doorbell rang, and Howie went to open it. Johnny Wright and Kevin walked in and greeted them.

“Kris made you come, huh?” Nick grinned at Kevin.

Kevin nodded. “She said this was important for our family, and that she’d be fine for a day. So, it turned out Johnny and I were on the same flight up.”

“Yeah,” Johnny smiled. “We caught up a little. Damn, I’m gonna feel like a grandfather when Kristin has that baby, man.” He shook his head. “You were married yesterday, it feels like.” He turned to the rest of the guys. “God, it’s good to see you all again.”

Brian stepped forward and hugged him. “It’s great to have you back with us,” he told Johnny.

“Yeah,” Nick, AJ, and Howie echoed the sentiment.

Johnny stepped back and tried to blink back the tears he knew would overflow soon. “Well, men. Let’s get to business, and then we’ll just catch up,” he said.

They spent the cold, gray afternoon discussing the Boys’ plans for the future, and why they were looking for Johnny to rejoin them. At times, each man ended up feeling weepy, both for the past and for the new future they would soon forge. As night fell, they agreed to partner up again, and Kenneth Crear, Johnny’s new partner, would also manage them. Johnny agreed to have them meet Crear as soon as possible. The next step they would take would be to meet with their respective lawyers along with the Jive Records execs and draw up a formal contract, outlining the responsibilities of each party and the portions each would receive. None of them appreciated the fact that Lou Pearlman received a certain amount from their sales, but they knew that combating that was for later.

***

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