Chapter 27

“Come on, Sienna, baby, push!” Brian gritted his teeth and gripped her better.

Sienna nearly cried with the pain pressing down on her. She knew that one of the twins was nearly out, but she was so tired and didn’t think she could do it.

“I can’t,” she moaned. “I just want to sleep—ow!” she cried out as she felt the next fist of pain hit her.

The doctor glanced up from between her legs and looked at Brian. “She needs to just give one good push. The baby’s already crowned, and one push would get it out.”

“Do you hear that?” Brian said to Sienna. “One push, my love. That’s all it’s going to take to get the baby out.”

“Yeah? Well then you do it,” Sienna snarled. Then, taking one deep breath, she bore down with all the strength in her. When the sound of a baby crying filled the room, she sagged against Brian.

Brian kissed her forehead. “You did it, Sienna, you gave birth to our baby,” he exclaimed.

“It’s a girl,” the nurse told them as she swaddled the baby and placed her in Sienna’s arms. Sienna looked down at the baby and smiled.

“She’s beautiful,” Brian murmured in her ear. “Just like her mother.”

Sienna sighed. “There’s still one more,” she reminded him. “I don’t think I can do it, though,” she told the doctor.

“Luckily for you, you’re not going to have to,” the doctor told her. “Do you remember the ultrasound we took? The first baby was fine, but the second one is breach. We’re going to have to do the C-section quickly,” he added.

Within minutes, Sienna had been given the epidural, and, as the doctors began to work on getting the second baby out, she gripped Brian’s hand as he held their daughter.

“What should we name her?” Brian wondered, trying to get Sienna’s mind off of the doctor cutting her open.

Sienna focused on him. “What should we name her?” she repeated. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think about any names. But, I want to name one of them for my mother. Is that possible?”

Brian grinned. “Of course! So, what’ll it be?”

Sienna closed her eyes. “Serena Madeline Littrell,” she murmured, then opened her eyes. “Well? What do you think?”

“You’re naming her Littrell?” Brian asked her wonderingly.

“Of course, I am,” Sienna said. “What else would their last name be?”

Brian tried not to dwell too much on the fact that she had let their children really be his in name and spirit. Squeezing her hand comfortingly, he tried not to look at what the doctors were doing. When the wailing of another infant filled the room, he looked over.

“What is it?” Sienna asked him.

Another nurse quickly weighed, measured, and cleaned the baby, then she handed the bundle to Brian. With his arms full of their children, he smiled down at her. “What should we name our second daughter?” he asked her.

Sienna closed her eyes. “Kara Jacqueline Littrell,” she told him and opened her eyes. “They’re both healthy?”

The doctor finished stitching her up and, washing up, looked over the charts a nurse handed him. “They’re both perfectly healthy. Perfect ten’s on the Apgar scale,” he told them. “Congratulations, your daughters are lovely. Miss McKinnon, you’re going to have to stay in bed for two days. You’ll probably be released the day after tomorrow as long as there are no complications. Which there shouldn’t be,” he added.

Brian thanked him, and the doctor left.

“I guess we’ll be able to put those grass skirts to use, huh?” she murmured as she held Kara.

“Halloween costumes,” Brian said definitely.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Both girls have dark brown hair,” she murmured. “Guess they got that from me. I wonder what color their eyes are?”

“If they’re lucky, their eyes will be hazel, like their mother’s,” Brian told her and placed a light kiss on Serena’s head. Then he looked at her, his eyes serious. “Sienna, I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but thank you. Thank you for giving me the best thing I have ever received in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you for this.”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she replied. “They’re as much mine as yours. It wasn’t a selfless thing I did. Look at them,” she whispered as Kara yawned and blinked her eyes open. “She has blue eyes, Brian.”

Brian sighed happily. “Serena probably has blue eyes, too. After all, they’re identical, aren’t they? How are we planning on telling them apart?”

Sienna smiled. “For the next while, we’ll simply dress them differently. I’m sure they’re different in some way. We’ll see as they get older,” she added, yawning.

Brian brushed her hair off her forehead. “Baby, you’re beat. It’s time for you to sleep.” As she tried to protest, a nurse came in and wheeled the twins to the nursery.

“See?” Brian said. “It’s time for you to take a nap. I’m going to go call our families.”

“’Kay,” Sienna murmured and promptly fell asleep.

Brian’s family showed up within an hour, followed by Sienna’s aunts, uncles, and cousins. They all admired the twins while listening to Shane proudly announce that he had known it would be girls. Finally, Faith told him to shut up or leave. He had quieted down and stayed.

AJ arranged a toast on the tour bus with lemonade he found in the bus’s refrigerator. Kevin had gotten teary and called to let Kristin know the good news. After talking to Liv, Howie had told them that Kara and Serena both had their mother’s hair and Brian’s blue eyes. Good genes all around, the four of them had agreed.

Sienna and the twins came home two days later, and Brian hurried between the three of them, trying to take care of them all. Sienna had laughed and told him not to worry. She was fully able to move around after a day at home. Marlena was managing the shop, solo, until September, which gave Sienna plenty of time with her daughters.

At the start of August, Brian had tried to stay, but Sienna insisted that he go back to the tour. Not wanting to push his luck, he had returned to the tour but would call home every night to hear, if nothing else, the twins’ wails.

“She’s getting used to the idea of the two of us leading separate lives and only seeing each other for the girls’ sake,” Brian told AJ one day in September.

“Have you told her you love her?” AJ wondered. “If you don’t, of course she’s going to think you don’t want her. That you’re only there for the sake of the twins. And you’re not, right?”

“No,” Brian shook his head. “I want her back, AJ. I want us to be a family, yeah, but I need Sienna more than anything. I want to marry her, prove that I’ll love her for the rest of my life.”

“Then just do it,” AJ suggested. “Just go back to Lexington and tell her how you feel.”

Brian pointed to the large window in their suite. “Hello? Earth to Alex! We’re in Germany, in case you hadn’t noticed. I can’t jet off to Lexington and come back without missing more shows. I know you guys are capable of going on without me, but I don’t want to miss anymore shows.”

“Then I guess you’ll just have to wait, huh?” AJ told him.

Brian decided to simply wait, to give Sienna time. However, when he was digging through his suitcase in a room in Austria, a box tumbled out. He opened it and, seeing the ring he had bought nearly a year before, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on for too long.

“Is everything ready?” Sienna asked the stage manager of the talent show. Looking around at the chaos of costumes and eager performers backstage, she smiled.

“Everything’s set,” she was told. “They’re all in order of performances, except for you.”

“Don’t worry,” Sienna assured him. “I’ll be there when it’s my turn. Just make sure my music is set.”

She peeked through the curtains at the gathering crowd that waited patiently in the Tates Creek High School’s auditorium. Last month, as a community response to the Hurricane Katrina tragedy, Sienna had suggested a talent show to raise funds in a fun way and one that would involve the entire community. Jackie had seconded the idea while others had been equally enthusiastic. Sienna had been elected in charge of the planning committee, and she planned on performing in the show, too.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped onto the stage. “Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Hurricane Katrina Relief Talent Show. Thank you all for being here tonight to enjoy the various talents of our fellow community members. Let’s welcome the first performer, Chris Klenn and his guitar.”

Brian sneaked into the auditorium from the back door and watched a young woman play a rousing Irish jig on her violin. Then, Sienna stepped onto the stage, and Brian thought she had never looked more beautiful.

“Thank you, Kari! That was incredible and made me want to dance the way my ancestors once did in Ireland,” she added. “Well, the next performer will actually be me. So, don’t boo too loudly when I do terribly. It’s my first time performing on stage,” she added.

The music started, and Brian didn’t recognize the song, but he was blown away by her voice. Why hadn’t he ever noticed that she was a wonderful singer? Her voice was a steady alto as she sang about being in love and never seeing the sky more blue than it was when she was in love. As she sang, her voice made Brian ache and realize that this was it. If he couldn’t convince her tonight, then he would never be able to convince her to be his. One last chance, Brian reminded himself as he stood and applauded her.

After the last performer, the stage manager took the microphone from Sienna, who stared at him, confused about what was going on.

“We have one final, last minute performance,” the stage manager announced. “Please welcome Brian Littrell.”

The applause was stunning as Brian stepped out and smiled at Sienna’s shocked face. He took the microphone from the stage manager and looked out at the audience.

“Well,” he began. “It’s good to be back in my old high school again. It’s so different and yet so much the same. Anyway, tonight I’d like to sing an old Backstreet favorite of everyone’s and one that’s come to mean more to me in the last year or so.”

The beginning chords of “As Long as You Love Me” poured through the speakers, and Brian sang the song, glancing at Sienna throughout the song. When he finished and the applause sounded, Brian put the microphone down and walked to where she stood.

“Sienna, I know I probably surprised you, but there’s a reason I’m here, tonight,” he began.

“You—you’re supposed to be in Spain,” she stammered.

“I know, but I needed to see you. You’ve let me back into your life as the father of our little girls, but I want us to be a family,” he murmured and dug out the box from his pocket. Flipping it open, he handed it to her, not realizing that the auditorium was silent as they watched the two people on stage. “Will you marry me, Sienna?”

She stared at the ring then at Brian, shocked. This wasn’t the way she had imagined him asking her to marry him. It certainly wasn’t the circumstances she had imagined—that was for sure. Closing the box, she handed it back to him. “I’m sorry, Brian, but I can’t marry you. I won’t marry you. I’m sorry,” she whispered and hurried offstage.

Brian stared down at the box in his hand and tried to think of what he had done wrong. Had she simply not forgiven him enough? he wondered. Realizing that five hundred people were watching him expectantly, he lifted the mike again.

“Thank you all for supporting the Katrina Relief efforts. We’ll be announcing the winner of the talent show soon, so stick around,” he said keeping his voice steady, though it cost him. Then, he walked off the stage and straight out the side doors of the auditorium.

Brian stumbled outside and into the parking lot. The lights from the building were blurred, and he realized that tears were blinding him. He brushed them off and looked around for his car.

“Brian!” There was a shout from behind him.

He turned and noticed Shane hurrying towards him. “I don’t have a death wish, Shane. I didn’t hurt her, this time,” he told the other man and walked towards his car.

“Wait,” Shane said and slowed to a walk when he caught up to Brian. “Look, I’m sorry she refused to marry you. I don’t know why she did it, other than you surprised her.”

Brian stopped and stared at him. “Then, in surprise, if she did love me, wouldn’t her answer have been yes? Maybe she really doesn’t love me,” he murmured and tried to get used to the idea.

“She loves you. I promise you, she does, but I don’t know what’s gotten into her,” Shane told him. “I think you should give her three hours then drop by her house and talk to her again. Don’t worry,” he added. “I moved out to live with Marlena, so you don’t have to worry about me being there.”

“You moved in with Marlena?” Brian asked, surprised. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Shane said. “But, seriously, Brian, go by there around midnight and talk to her again. When we were little, it always took her three hours to calm down enough to be reasonable. You surprised her by asking her to marry you on a stage in front of hundreds of people. She definitely didn’t expect it, so give her time.”

Brian sighed. “If she says no again, Shane, I don’t think there’s going to be anything left of my heart to scrape off the floor with a spoon.”

Shane patted his shoulder. “Trust me.”

Sienna changed the girls into their baby pajamas and laid them into their bassinets. Singing them to sleep helped her calm down a little, but, once they were asleep, she fumed. How dare he ask her to marry him? Did he think that she would she say yes to marriage for the sake of the girls? Of course, she would do just about anything for her daughters, but she knew she could never marry a man who didn’t love her. And, in that whole spiel he had given her, had he once said he loved her? No, she reminded herself. He hadn’t.

The doorbell rang, and she wondered who it could possibly be. When she opened the door, a mix of expressions ran over her face, Brian noticed.

“I said no, Brian,” she reminded him. “What more do you want?”

He lifted a brow. “You’re not the only one who lives here. I came to see our daughters. Are they sleeping?” At her nod, he brushed past her and went up the stairs.

Angry again at the fact that he hadn’t come to see her and hurt, too, Sienna walked to the kitchen and, pouring herself a glass of wine, she sat and sipped it. If nothing else, she hoped it would help her calm down and be able to face him reasonably.

Fifteen minutes later, he strolled into the kitchen and grinned at her. “They’re perfect! They become more perfect every time I see them. God, they’re amazing,” he told her, excitedly.

“I know,” Sienna couldn’t help but soften at his pride and amazement over their daughters.

“So,” he said, looking at her now, “you told me you didn’t want to marry me. I’d like an explanation, please.”

As he stared at her, Sienna set down the glass she held. “Okay, you want an explanation. Fine. I won’t marry you because I think we can be a family without being married. I think Serena and Kara can have a mother and father who love them equally and aren’t married. Frankly, I don’t like the whole marriage idea when it comes to the two of us, anyway,” she finished.

Brian watched her for a few moments, then, nodding, he turned and left the kitchen. As Sienna let out a sigh of relief, he came back and, cupping her face in his hands, laid his lips on hers, taking her into a deep kiss that made tears rise in her eyes.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” he whispered, drawing back.

She shook her head and pulled him back to her, hungry for the taste she had gone without for months.

“I can’t,” she managed to say. “I can’t because I do love you.”

Brian felt relief flood through him and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Then, I’ll ask you again. I love you, Sienna, and I love our little girls. All I need is for you to marry me. For God’s sake, Sienna, say you’ll marry me,” he said, almost desperate.

She took a steadying breath. “I’d like to see the ring please.” Cursing under his breath, he yanked the box out of his pocket and handed it to her. She opened it and was dazzled by the ring she hadn’t been able to see the first time through the shock. There was a large emerald surrounded by three diamonds on either side of it in the band.

“I thought an emerald was better than a diamond. Diamonds are a cliché, and I already gave a diamond to someone before. I wanted something solid, that would last,” Brian explained, unnerved by her lack of response.

She looked at it another moment and handed it back to Brian. “I’d like you to put it on, please,” she told Brian. “I love you. God knows, loving you has driven me absolutely insane, but I do. And nothing, nothing on earth would make me happier than marrying you.”

Brian smiled and slid the ring onto her finger. “It fits,” he murmured, happily and crushed his lips to hers. “Sienna, I can’t do without you anymore,” he whispered, drawing back to look into her eyes.

“Then don’t,” she told him as he swept her up.

Much later, she studied the ring on her finger and thought of everything it represented. Brian pressed a kiss to her neck. “I’m glad you like it,” he murmured.

“You gave it to me,” she smiled. “How could I not like it?” She turned to look into his eyes. “I’d like to get married as soon as possible. I don’t want to take the chance that something will go wrong again. Too many things already have, I don’t want this to be one of them.”

“I’ve never spent New Year’s with you,” he told her. “I’d like to welcome 2006 with you by my side, as my wife.”

Sienna smiled. “I’d like that,” she said and kissed him.

When they heard a cry from the baby monitor, Brian grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ll get her.”

***

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