Chapter 8
Kevin watched her go inside, then
dropped down onto the steps next to Brian and stretched out his legs. “That’s quite a woman you got there, Brian.”
Brian rubbed his
eyes wearily. “Not my woman. She’d probably beat me if she knew you called
her that. She’s just a friend. I think.”
“Why do you think
she’s your friend? Either she is, or she isn’t.”
“Kev, I met her
once before today,” and Brian explained about meeting her when he’d gone in for
the flowers then seeing her later that night and talking to her. “I told her that you guys were angry with me
for destroying the group, and that I deserved every ounce of anger you feel
towards me. But, uh, I haven’t talked to
her since July. I don’t think she’s
happy about that because she definitely gave me her number.”
“She a fan?”
Kevin asked. “Because she didn’t act
like one.”
Brian
grinned. “She didn’t know who I was the
first time I walked into her shop. Then,
her cousin was watching some show and I was on with an interview I did at the
airport the day Leigh got married.”
“And then she
figured out you were a celebrity,” Kevin finished.
“Yeah, except she
doesn’t give a damn, and I really don’t know why I’m talking about her,” Brian
shook his head.
“Is she the first
woman you’ve been attracted to or thought about since Leigh?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah, yeah, she
is,” Brian sighed.
“You okay about
the whole Leighanne and Trace deal? I
heard about it from Mom who found out from Aunt Jackie, when, apparently, Leigh
called her. I also heard she was
pregnant. I saw the interview you did
after a while,” Kevin added. “You didn’t
seem happy.”
“I am so screwed up, Kevin. I felt like kicking myself for letting the
news make me feel like a failure. And
then, that night, Mom told me that if I had worked harder or made Leigh feel
more loved, she wouldn’t have left. I
couldn’t handle that. And. I’m terrified
of you and the others. Sienna told me
you all got invited, but, obviously the others didn’t come. I guess it makes me a little resentful,
too. And, I have no right to be
resentful because of what I did.”
“Brian?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and
listen,” Kevin said. Brian sat up and
looked over at his cousin. “First, Leigh
was not worth your time, energy, and money.
Or love. You loved her more than
anyone I know has loved his wife, including me.
Kris always yelled at me for not loving her like you loved Leigh. She married someone else, who’s not you. She obviously didn’t deserve you.” Kevin took
a breath. “And secondly, I’m not gonna
lie and say that you did everything wonderfully by yelling at Nick because,
really, you broke the kid’s heart.
However, I’m here, and I’m tired of blaming somebody for us not working
out. We didn’t work because we were
tired. We needed time away from each
other. You yelled at Nick partially
because you’d spent ten years with him.
All of us were antsy by that point what with AJ in rehab and you still
in therapy. So, you cracked. And then we did. It happens.
I’m ready to forgive you, Bri.
I’m tired of the blame.”
Brian swallowed
the tears that had risen in his throat.
“Kevin,” he managed in a choked whisper.
“I am so sorry. I wish I could go
back and change it.”
Kevin shook his
head. “No, don’t think about going
back. We just have to think about moving
forward. You have to talk to the other
guys, you know.”
Brian
nodded. “I tried calling Nick, Howie,
and AJ sometime in October. I wanted to
talk to Nick, but his number had changed, so I called AJ to see if he had
it. AJ was busy with wedding stuff, and,
when I called Howie, he was busy, too. I
fell apart, Kevin. I had no right to
because I caused all the trouble. But,
not being able to talk to them, I realized how badly I had screwed up.”
“Why didn’t you
call me?”
“I was scared of
you the most. You were the one who got
all of us through everything, and I let you down. I was afraid you’d just say, well, tough. You got yourself into this mess, now you have
to get yourself out of it. Which is
true, Kevin,” Brian added.
Kevin
sighed. “I should have called you. Checked up on how you were doing because, no
matter how angry I may have been, you’re still my brother, Brian. And I
shouldn’t, we shouldn’t have
abandoned you. I’m sorry the others
didn’t come. They should be here.”
Brian shook his
head. “I don’t care. I’m just glad you’re not angry with me. God, Kevin, I just want to pinch myself
sometimes to make sure that everything is really this messed up or if it’s a
dream. I want to wake up one day and be
able to walk into Nick’s room and jump on his bed, or some other stupid shit,
you know? I want to be able to sing again.”
“I was cast as
Billy Flynn in Chicago on Broadway,”
Kevin blurted out.
“What? Kevin!
That’s freaking awesome! Imagine that,” Brian wondered, “my cousin on
Broadway. Broad-freaking-way! And in Chicago! Holy shit, Kevin!” And he threw his arms around his cousin,
thrilled.
Kevin hugged him
back, thanking God that they were able to have any sort of contact with each
other again.
Brian settled
back. “I have to talk to the
others. I have to make it right,
again. I don’t want this to be the end
of the Backstreet Boys. We need to sing
again, prove that we’re better than *N Sync.
That we’re not a flash in the pan act, you know? We’re brothers, we can do this again. And, in order to do this again, I have to fix
it first.”
“Yeah, but we
have to work together again, too,” Kevin admitted.
The door behind
them opened, and Kristin stepped out.
“Hey, you
two. I’m hoping all is mostly well,”
Kristin began, “because your mother, Brian, is about to have multiple
cows. She’s been looking all over God’s
green earth for you. You have to cut the
cake.”
Brian jumped
up. “Crap. Mom told me not to disappear. Great, I’m not going to hear the end of this
one.” And he hurried inside.
Kristin slipped
an arm around her husband’s waist. “Feel
better?”
Kevin sighed and
kissed her. “You have no idea. He’s been a mess, thinking all of us hated
him when we really didn’t know if he wanted anything to do with us. Apparently, he tried calling the others and
didn’t get any return calls. And he was
afraid of me! Imagine that.”
Kristin shook her
head. “Imagine that…being scared of
Kevin “If you don’t do it, I will beat you with a cane” Richardson. Huh.”
“Shut up.”
“Let’s eat cake,
Kevin,” Kristin smiled.
***
