Chapter
52
In
the waiting room, Kevin, Howie, and AJ sat around in a state of
depression. After Brian’s father had
been called out earlier, they had been in a state of anxiety, wondering what
had gone wrong. But Harold had returned
not too long after, carrying the grim news from Dr. Adele that Brian had taken
a turn for the worse. Harold had
tearfully told them this and then left the room. He hadn’t been back since, and they didn’t
know what had become of him, but thought it best to just leave him alone.
They
hadn’t heard from Jackie since she had gone down to talk to Nick, but they
figured surely Jackie would have been told by now as well. They could only imagine how Nick would be
taking the news. He was feeling awful as
it was. They didn’t know how much more
he could take, in his fragile emotional state.
“This
is so unfair,” AJ muttered out of the blue, his head in his hands. “How can God put us through so much of
this? Brian’s family, mostly. I mean, how can he let one of their sons die,
and now another? It’s just doesn’t make
sense. It’s not fair.” His voice rose with a blend of anger,
frustration, and sadness.
“Life’s
not fair,” Kevin replied dully. They
had heard the phrase a million times, and this was just another example of how
true it really was.
***
“Are
you sure you’re up to doing this, Mr. Carter?” asked April, the nurse who had
been assigned to bring him up to ICU.
Nick
sat slumped in his wheelchair, his IV pole parked next to him. He took a deep breath and nodded, not able to
find his voice.
“All
right,” April said, gently wheeling him into the small, dim room. “I’ll leave you here alone with your friend,
and if you need anything, just hit the call button right there.” She motioned to the nurse call button next to
Brian’s bed.
“Okay,”
Nick mumbled, as she wheeled him up to the bed and parked the wheelchair
there. Nick saw a chair pulled up to the
other side of Brian’s bed and figured Jackie had been sitting there, but she
was gone now. The room was empty, except
for April, him, and of course, Brian.
Then April walked out, leaving him alone with the motionless figure that
was his best friend.
Nick
wanted to talk to Brian, to let him know that he was there, but he couldn’t
find his voice to say the words. He was
almost afraid to, remembering what had happened one of the last times he had
visited Brian. Just his presence had
caused Brian to have a heart attack, according to the tabloid article, at
least.
Nick
felt sick to his stomach thinking about the article. Brian’s mother had done wonders in comforting
him, but he couldn’t ignore what he, and people around the country who had read
the tabloid as well, believed to be true.
At
least Jackie didn’t. That was his main
comfort. If Brian’s own mother could
forgive him, comfort him, in her state of grief, then maybe others would be
able to. Nick felt he didn’t deserve
Jackie’s kind forgiveness, but he had to admit, it helped.
Suddenly,
Nick heard the sound of the door opening behind him, and he looked back,
startled, to see Kevin walk into the room.
“Hey,
Kevin,” Nick mumbled, his voice only a whisper.
Kevin
smiled sadly and pulled Jackie’s chair over to the other side of the bed, next
to Nick’s wheelchair. “How are you,
Nick?” he asked, lightly resting his hand on Nick’s good shoulder.
Nick
shrugged, grimacing at a pain in his broken shoulder. Kevin watched in sympathy, as Nick stared at
Brian’s lifeless body, watching as his chest rose and fell with the hiss of the
respirator he was attached to.
Nick
stared at Brian, at all the machines around him, monitoring him and helping to
keep him alive, and he asked Kevin flatly, “Brian’s going to die, isn’t
he?”
Kevin
turned sharply, his green eyes boring into Nick’s blue ones. “Don’t say that,” he said, his voice soft,
but firm.
Tears
filled Nick’s eyes. “Kev, I don’t want
to believe it either, but I can’t deny it either. I heard what Dr. Adele told Jackie,” Nick
said softly. “It’s not good.”
“I
know what Dr. Adele told Jackie because he told Uncle Harold too, and he told
us,” Kevin said. “But that doesn’t mean
it’s for sure. Brian’s proved doctors
wrong before, you know that.”
Nick
nodded slowly. “I know, Kev, but that
doesn’t mean he can do it every time.
You can’t expect another miracle to happen, just cause it did that once. Maybe God saved Brian then because he had a
purpose to fulfill in life. And maybe
he’s already fulfilled that purpose, and now it’s his time to go to Heaven, to
God.”
Kevin
couldn’t stop the tears that filled his eyes.
What Nick was saying made sense.
Too much sense. Kevin knew the
reality of what could happen, and very well would, to his cousin. But he could not face it. He didn’t want to admit how unlikely it
would be that another miracle could happen, and Brian would live. But still, he couldn’t give up hope.
“I
know, Nick. I’ve thought of that,” Kevin
said finally. “But I’m looking at this
as a test of faith. And I’m not letting
go of mine.”