Chapter 3

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I’d pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you’d smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love
For you goes on and on

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Sienna stood in the foyer holding Luke as the twins ran around Brian, who was slipping into his coat.

He scooped Serena off the floor and kissed her nose. Then, he looked over at Sienna. “I know, darling. I don’t want to go, but I have to. It’s what I do.”

“Yeah,” Sienna sighed. “You’re right. I was hoping you’d come back for your birthday. It’s on Tuesday—only two days away.”

Brian gave her a half-smile. “If I talk to you on Tuesday, I’ll feel like I’m home.” He leaned over and kissed her. “I promise.” He set Serena down and lifted Kara, twirling her in a circle until she giggled. Then, he put her down on the floor next to her sister.

Sienna watched him with their daughters and couldn’t help but smile. This was her world, she mused, and she couldn’t be happier. Brian was the best father she knew, and they had the most wonderful children. The singing was his life and she was proud of his voice, but she still yearned for him to be there with them all the time. Waving that thought away, she smiled down at him as he played with the girls.

“Brian, you’re going to be late for your flight, and you know Holly will have your head on a platter, then,” she reminded him.

He stood and kissed Luke’s cheek. “I know, I know. I’m going, I’m going,” he grinned at her. “AJ should be coming in tomorrow night, remember that? He’s excited to see the kids, and I’m sure he’ll be able to help out when you’re taking care of them at home.”

Sienna shrugged. “The kids are fine, I’m just glad he’s coming. It’s been two months since I’ve seen him and all because I couldn’t bring Luke up to New York for the release in January. It’ll be good to catch up with him.”

Brian nodded. “It will be.” He leaned forward and kissed her then, wrapping his arms around her and the baby she held. “I’m going to miss you so much,” he murmured, leaning back and framing her face in his gloved hands. “The next month is going to feel like forever.”

Sienna smiled to keep the tears from flowing. “You’ve got that webcam deal, Brian. Use it, and we’ll all wish you a happy birthday on Tuesday. I’m taking the day off because I haven’t done that since December. Marlena’s going to take care of everything at the shop.”

“Great! Then, I guess I’ll see the four of you on Tuesday, huh?” he grinned down at the twins as they ran back towards the playroom. “I’d better get going, and you’d better go see they don’t get into trouble.”

“I will,” she told him. “Good thing Shane’s coming over today to hang out. They love Uncle Shane.”

Brian opened the door. “Then take care of yourself, okay? I’ll call when I get to Chicago.”

Sienna nodded and moved to the door, so she could watch him climb into his car. Kara and Serena raced to the door and stood, waving to Brian. He grinned at them and blew a kiss to them that made them giggle and clap their hands.

As he drove down the driveway, he watched them in the rearview mirror. His family, he thought, was the most important thing in his life. If anything happened to them, he didn’t know what he would do. But, nothing was going to happen to them, he reassured himself. AJ was staying with them for a couple of days, and they would be protected at all times. He glanced in the mirror one last time before the gates shut behind him and obstructed his view. Sienna stood, holding Luke, as the twins jumped up and down next to her. He couldn’t help but smile, then turned onto the road.

***

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

AJ leaned back in a wicker chair and watched Kara and Serena play with building blocks on the floor of the sunroom at the back of the house. He grinned over at Sienna. “They’re incredible! Jesus, they’ve grown so fast. I remember seeing them after they were born. They were so tiny, and now look at them.”

Sienna watched her daughters and glowed with pride. “We can try to teach them to say ‘AJ’ if you want. They learned to say Nick’s name when he dropped by right after New Year’s.”

AJ sat up and stroked his finger gently over Luke’s hand, which was fisted on the bottle Sienna was feeding him with. “Really? They could say my name? That would be so cool! I remember when Bridget learned to say all our names, and now she goes around calling all of us when we’re not there. Kevin thinks she’s the smartest kid in the world.” He smiled, remembering how excited Kevin had been when he recounted all of his daughter’s incredible feats.

“Every parent thinks their kid is the smartest,” Sienna told AJ. “I think the twins are going to figure out a cure for cancer when they grow up. But that’s just my thinking on it,” she added casually.

AJ shrugged. “They might or this one might,” he added, gesturing to Luke, whose eyes were shut. “He sleeps a lot, though.”

“He’s not even three months old yet. If he didn’t sleep a lot, I’d be worried,” she told him. “Now, those two,” she gestured to the girls who had now proceeded to knock their haphazardly built structures over, “it’s almost time for their nap. They only nap once a day, between two and four. It gives me a chance to relax, especially on a Saturday.”

“You took the day off for Brian’s birthday, right? I mean, so you could call and have the girls babble to him over the phone, right?” AJ asked.

Sienna nodded. “Even if he’s not here, we’re trying to make it so that he is here in some form for them. It gives them some sense of having their dad around, and it allows Brian to be here without leaving the tour. He was thrilled when we called him this morning,” she grinned, remembering his exclamations over the phone that his girls were amazing. “So, how are Sean and Bridget,” she turned to AJ again, who had been by Kevin and Kristin’s home that morning when she had called Brian.

AJ grinned. “Sean’s the cutest thing ever. Besides your kids, of course,” he added quickly, making her laugh. “He’s trying to walk around, but keeps falling over. Bridget’s helping him walk because she thinks it’s the coolest thing ever—like a science experiment or something.”

Sienna smiled. “She’s a great older sister. I can’t wait to see how the girls are with Luke when they all get older. Speaking of the girls,” she began watching as they began to get cranky and tired of their game. Kara had begun to throw the blocks against the chair, while Serena stood and toddled over to AJ. “I think it’s time to tire them out so they sleep.”

AJ lifted Serena into his lap where she snuggled in. “How do you do that? Tell them a story or something?”

Sienna shrugged. “Yeah, that’s usually what I do. Make lots of funny faces and noises, and they laugh. Within ten minutes, they’ll start drifting off,” she told him as she placed Luke into the carrier set next to her feet.

AJ nodded. “Well, then, I guess I’ll get Kara over here, too. Hey sweetie,” he called to the toddler. Kara looked over at him, cocked her head, then, seeing that her sister was in his lap, she frowned and raised her arms so he could lift her up. When he had them all settled in, he started telling them a story about fairies and dragons that he made up on the spot.

Sienna leaned back and watched them. AJ would make a great father one day, she knew. He just had to find the right woman, and, though she teased him about his taste in flaky women, she knew that he secretly wanted to settle down, too. Kristin had brought it up once, after she had seen how engrossed AJ had been with Sean and Bridget.

“Kids thrill him,” Kristin smiled. “He’s great with them, and I think he secretly wants his own.”

“I wish we could find him the perfect woman,” Sienna sighed. “He’s a great guy, and I know any woman would be happy to have him.”

“AJ’s picky, though,” Kristin told her. “He’s been through some rough things, and he won’t settle down until he finds someone that can relate to that and understand exactly what he’s been through. He needs to find someone he can trust enough to love.”

“Because that’s the basis of our marriages,” Sienna finished and earned a nod and smile from Kristin.

She watched him now, one little girl tucked into the crook of each arm. His facial expressions as he described the monsters that the fairies were fighting had Serena and Kara hooked, even if they understood nothing he was saying. Smiling to herself, Sienna closed her eyes and relaxed as the sun continued to heat the glassed-in room that overlooked the backyards and gardens of the large property.

AJ shifted the girls until they were both curled up in the chair, side-by-side, asleep. It really hadn’t been that difficult to put them to sleep. He pushed a lock of curling chestnut hair off of Serena’s face and smiled. Brian and Sienna had lucked out when it came to kids. These two angels were amazing, he mused.

Standing up, he noticed that Sienna was asleep, so he decided to head in to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he stepped into the doorway separating the sunroom from the rest of the house, he looked back at Sienna and her kids, making sure they were okay. Seeing that they were, he walked into the house not noticing the dark-colored car that edged its way out of the trees towards the back of the property and moved down the back drive of the house.

Inside, AJ pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and fought the urge for a cigarette. He had decided it was time to quit before he wrecked his voice and could give lung cancer a reason to develop. Thinking of his voice reminded him of the tour that was to start in just under two months. He was excited for it, and, though the media continued to blare that the Backstreet Boys were done and finished, he knew it wasn’t true. Hadn’t the girl with the spiky hair, eyebrow ring, and black fingernails, who worked at the convenience store near his home in West Palm Beach, stopped him one day and told him that their music was good—even if it was pop? Yeah, AJ mused, it was still their time. So what if they didn’t gather the crowds in Times Square anymore and their videos didn’t make it onto TRL? None of that mattered as long as there were people out there that loved their songs. So, AJ thought, the Backstreet Boys would never be finished until there was no one left to listen.

Wondering why he was suddenly thinking of when they would stop singing, AJ frowned at himself. He peeked into the sunroom again to make sure the four who slept were still okay, then he headed to the bathroom.

As he washed his hands, he frowned down at the black nail color he wore and decided that it was time to grow up and do something different. The tattoos were all good, as were the piercings, but he’d have to stop the crazy nail color sooner or later. Besides, when he had kids, he didn’t think he wanted them to be scared of Daddy’s tattoos or fingernails. How much would that suck? AJ wondered to himself. He was so engrossed in thoughts of his maybe future children that he didn’t hear the sound of glass breaking nor a short scream over the sound of the water running in the sink.

AJ wiped his wet hands off and realized that the reason he was thinking about his possible children was because he wanted his own. The thought stopped him short. Wasn’t he bad boy AJ McLean? Wouldn’t having children cramp his style? Howie, Brian, and Kevin had pulled it off because they were family men. But he and Nick were the wild children who would never manage to be unselfish enough to love their own children and give them the attention they deserved. After all, hadn’t his own father run off on him? Perhaps things like that were inherited, and it was probably better not to risk having children, right?

His thoughts troubling him, AJ walked back towards the sunroom again, knowing he could talk to Sienna about this. “Hey, Si,” he began then froze in his tracks.

The room was empty. Sienna and the three babies were gone, and all that was left, AJ realized with panic, fear, and dread filling him, was a pile of broken glass where one glass wall of the sunroom had been broken.

Calling Sienna’s name, AJ dashed out into the backyard and ran towards the backwoods of the Littrell property. Running, he yanked out his cell phone and dialed Emergency Services. When the operator answered, he stopped to catch his breath.

“Sorry,” he gasped. “I wanted to report an emergency! Oh god, I think they’ve been kidnapped!”

“Slow down, sir,” the operator calmly replied. “Now, who’s been kidnapped, and where are you calling from?”

AJ took a deep breath. “I’m staying with my friend’s wife and children out on” he tried to remember the name of the street “Green Haven Road. I think the house number’s six nineteen. He’s been getting crazy phone calls threatening him and now his family’s disappeared. The glass on their sunroom’s been broken in. Oh lord, I went inside for a few minutes and they’re gone, now! Please, hurry.”

The operator told him that the police were on their way and stayed on the line with him until he could hear the sirens. Remembering that no one could get in through the gates unless he pressed the button for the gate from the house, he hurried back to the house and called Kevin on his way, knowing that Kevin was down the street and could be there the quickest.

When the police arrived, they inspected the premises and asked AJ to relate exactly what had happened. They asked him where Brian was and about the phone calls that he had received. Realizing Brian still didn’t know what had happened, AJ knew he had to call him. And he dreaded it. When one of the detectives offered to call, AJ shook his head and said he’d do it.

With Kevin standing next to him, AJ dialed Brian’s number with trembling fingers. On the second ring, Brian answered.

“Hey, AJ! How’s everything going? How’s my family?” Brian sounded happy and AJ was terrified of letting him down.

“Bri, there’s something you have to know. Are you sitting down?” AJ asked him.

“I am now. Is everything okay?” When Brian’s breath jerked, AJ knew he’d figured it out without having to be told. “What happened AJ? Tell me they’re okay! Tell me you know where they are!” Brian nearly begged.

AJ squeezed his eyes shut. “No,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, Brian. I left them in the sunroom for five minutes to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, they were gone and the glass had been smashed in. Oh god, Brian, I am so sorry. The cops are here now, and they’re looking everything over.”

There was silence for a few moments on the other end except for Brian’s harsh breathing. Then, he spoke. “I’ll be there soon. I trusted you, AJ,” he murmured and there was a click.

Lyrics from “If I Had Only Known” Reba McEntire

***

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