Chapter 18
The few short blocks to Brian’s house felt
like an eternity to Sarah. Her heart was pumping her blood through her body so
fast she felt as if she would explode at any moment. Sarah had never done
anything like what she was planning on doing right now. In fact the closest
she’d ever come to it was the night before she’d left for California and the
results of that had been devastating. She couldn’t believe she was about to do
it again. She was a little more confidant this time but still, the longer it
took her to just get it over with the more she was likely to chicken out all
together.
Sarah reached the Harper house and leapt from
her car before she had a chance to hesitate. She ran to the door so fast that
she didn’t realize Brian’s car hadn’t returned. She knocked on the door and
barely had the time to take a deep breath before Nick answered it. “Sarah!” he
said in pleasant surprise as he pulled a cell phone away from his ear. “You’re
back!”
“Yeah.” She said blushing, “I’m looking for
Brian.”
“Brian?” Nick repeated sounding surprised yet
again. “I don’t think he ever came back.”
“Any idea where he went?”
“Who knows.” Nick shrugged.
Sarah frowned and all of the momentum she’d
built up was now gone. “OK, thanks anyway.” She sighed.
Sarah turned to leave but then stopped. She
eyed the cell phone in Nick’s hand and smiled with excitement. Pointing to the
phone, she mouthed the phrase, “Is that her?”
Nick nodded his head with a proud grin and
laughed when Sarah whispered, “Good for you.”
They waved goodbye and when Sarah left she
realized how upset she was. She slowly made the drive home which gave her plenty
of time to rethink Lance’s crazy plan and the severe let down that was sure to
follow. Her triumphant moment was all but defeated as she pulled into her
driveway and one or two tears of confusion escaped her eyes.
Across town Brian stood on the banks of
Whitmore Lake skipping rocks across the otherwise still water. He’d ended up
there because that’s where Sarah said she always found her peace, but to Brian
the solitude only made the screaming thoughts in his head sound louder. The
longer he stood there the worse he felt. He didn’t know how long he’d been
there but the sun was only a glow above the horizon now and all the “peace” of
the beautiful sunset and the quiet lake didn’t seem to help at all.
Brian had moved one step beyond the
disappointment of Sarah and Nick because that was a pain he was used to dealing
with after all these years. Right now he was more angry with himself for being
too scared to control his own destiny. He’d put up with so much for so long
that now he just gave way instantly. His whole life was about to fall apart and
he was too weak to stop it. Sarah was right, he had been destroyed and it felt
a great deal worse now that he’d realized it had happened. He picked up another
rock and instead of aimlessly skipping it across the lake, hurled it as far as
he could causing a faint splash in the middle of the lake.
Brian was so angry that tears welled up in his
eyes but he quickly batted them away when he heard the sound of a car pull into
the small parking lot behind him. He whirled around and instantly recognized
the car to be Sarah’s. “That’s just great.” He grumbled up to the sky thinking
he’d already seen enough of the happy couple to last a lifetime.
He was shocked when Sarah was the only one to
step out of the car. She smiled as she walked toward him and Brian double
checked to make sure she was really alone. “Sarah?” he asked as confusion
replaced his anger. “What are you doing here?”
“Same as you it looks like.” Sarah replied a
little anxiously. “It’s been a long day and I needed some air.”
“Yeah me too.” Brian confessed.
Sarah couldn’t believe her luck. She’d sat in
her driveway for a good five minutes unable to actually go inside the house,
probably because she knew her curious father would drill her the moment she
did. So instead she came out to the lake hoping to relax a bit. When she’d
driven up and seen Brian’s new car in the parking lot she nearly cried tears of
relief. She told herself that this was the chance to do what she set out to do
but when she saw him standing there so completely upset she didn’t know if she
could go through with it. She smiled a smile that showed a hint of all the
different emotions she was feeling and held out a nervous hand as she said,
“Well we started the day together, maybe we should finish it together.”
Brian stared down at her hand and gulped as he
shyly accepted it. They walked down the short beach to the water’s edge and
stared at the tiny ripples in silence. Sarah was the first to break it with a
sigh and then she whispered his name. “Brian?” she asked.
“Yeah?” He replied in a voice equally as soft.
“Is everything ok? You seem really upset about
something.”
Brian released a desperate sigh. “You were
right about me.” He answered faintly, “I don’t live my life. I’m suffocating
here and if I don’t get out, what you said to me earlier will come true. My
father, Nick, my job… everything! It’ll destroy me.”
Brian steadied his faltering voice and
muttered, “If it hasn’t already.”
Sarah’s eyes closed and she took in a deep
breath to fight off the tears she wanted to cry for him. If she could have
ripped out her own heart to replace his broken one she would have. “Brian?” she
whispered again.
“Yeah?”
Sarah looked up at Brian and the moment their
eyes locked she reached up and cupped Brian’s face in her hands. Her soft
loving touch tingled his soul and before he knew it her lips were on his. Brian
pressed his eyes tightly shut afraid of the moisture that was gathering in
them. The shaking of his knees was the only thing that moved at first as his
body adjusted to the blissful shock. But when he recovered, his arms found
their way around Sarah and he pulled her against him lifting her onto her toes
to deepen the kiss. Sarah responded by turning her sweet kiss into a passionate
one and the energy from it gave Brian the strength he’d been looking for all
his life. When they finally pulled away Sarah smiled meekly up at Brian with
crimson cheeks. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.” She said still trying to
catch her breath.
Brian was unable to speak but he mindlessly
nodded his head as he fought to regain control of himself. This was where the
feelings of insecurity swept through Sarah like a dessert sand storm and the
only thing she could bring herself to look at was her own feet. “I just… Look…”
she stammered trying to find an explanation for her actions. “I’ve been
avoiding relationships my whole life, refusing to let people get close to me
because I couldn’t get past my feelings for Nick.”
Brian just let Sarah ramble nervously as he
watched her with a dreamy smile. “And I know you have a lot going on right
now,” She continued, “So I understand if you don’t want me, but you’re the
first person to ever break the barrier so I just had to make sure.”
Brian’s silence made Sarah’s stomach churn and
she braced herself for the, “it’s not you, it me” speech. Brian couldn’t
believe that of the two of them, Sarah seemed to be the insecure nervous wreck.
Her eyes were fixed permanently on the ground and Brian could tell that she was
fighting a tremble in her body. He was
only quiet because he was sure that if he said something he would wake from
this dream. Placing a finger under her chin Brian raised her face to his. Sarah
held her breath as she looked into his eyes and he ran the back of his hand
delicately over her cheek before placing another soft sweet kiss on her lips.
When Brian pulled back he gave Sarah a smile
that said she didn’t have to worry. Sarah’s look of fear vanished and she broke
into a smile. She threw her arms around Brian and buried her face in the crook
of his neck. “Oh my gosh Brian.” She whispered in a half laugh, half cry, “I
can’t believe this.”
Brian held her tightly and learned what his
life should feel like and could feel like all the time. Now that he knew what
true happiness was, there was no way he was going to let anyone take it from
him. “I have to get out of here.” He said, “I have to leave Whitmore Lake and I
want you to come with me.”
“What?” Sarah gasped.
“California sounds really good right about
now.” Brian said, “So let’s go. We can take a week or two and make a road trip
out of it.”
“When?” Sarah asked getting excited by the
thought of escaping with Brian.
“Why not right now? Just pack a bag, throw it
in the car and take off. Let’s just get out of here and leave all the crap
behind us, just you and me on the open road with the top down, maybe Mount
Rushmore?”
The more Brian spoke the more he became giddy
at the idea and the more Sarah realized just how badly he needed it, but she
couldn’t hold back her laughter. “We couldn’t leave tonight Brian.”
“Why not?”
“Well for starters,” Sarah laughed, “That
pretty little car of your still has a busted head gasket. We’d probably get as
far as Nebraska and find ourselves stranded.”
“So we spend a couple extra days in the middle
of nowhere. It could be an adventure.”
Sarah looked at Brian unconvinced and he
grinned wickedly, “I’m sure we could find some way to occupy our time.” He said
playfully tightening his hold on her.
Sarah’s eyes nearly popped out of her head and
she jump back blushing fiercely at the insinuation. Brian’s smirk spread widely
across his face and his eyes sparkled with a hint of the devil in them.
“There’s probably a large ball of twine we could go see or something.” He
teased.
Sarah swatted Brian playfully feeling
embarrassed by what Brian knew she was thinking and Brian laughed forcefully.
He pulled Sarah back into his arms and looked down at her with big pouty blue
eyes. “Please?” he begged, “If I don’t do it now, someone will talk me out of
it for sure. I need this…”
“Alright.” Sarah caved, “But can we at least
wait ‘till morning? It will take me at least that long to explain to my father
why I’m leaving less than a week after I got back.”
“And it will take even longer to convince him
that you’ll keep your hands to yourself on the way there.” She added with a
chuckle.
Brian frowned, “Who said I was gonna?”
“Brian!” Sarah laughed with another playful
swat.
“I’m only kidding.” Brian chuckled.
When Sarah stepped back and eyed him defiantly
he threw his hands in the air as if he were on the wrong side of a stick-up. “I
swear.” He laughed, “”I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Sarah crossed her arms and sized Brian up
curiously. She didn’t question his intentions. She knew he would be a
gentleman. She knew her father would trust him too; she was just giving him a
hard time. Finally she frowned. “I hope not too much of a gentleman.” She
teased, “That would make for kind of a boring trip don’t ya think?”
Brian burst into laughter and then pulled
Sarah in for a playfully lustful kiss, but he couldn’t hold it long because
Sarah couldn’t keep a straight face. Her giggling made him laugh and he had to
let her go. He looked at her funny and she shrugged. “I’m sorry.” Sarah said,
“This is just all so strange. I never would have imagined that you and I
would…” The redness returned to Sarah’s face, “Well that things would end up
like this.”
“Believe me neither did I.” Brian said
becoming serious again, “But I’m not complaining.”
“Me either.” Sarah said shyly, “In fact it’s
quite the contrary, I can’t believe how happy I am right now.”
Brian’s heart jumped in his chest to think
that he, not his ever so charming, gorgeous younger brother, but him, plain
old, quiet, boring Brian, could be the man that made Sarah happy. Happy
couldn’t even begin to cover how he felt right now. He wanted to stand there
holding her forever but he knew he couldn’t so he smiled and somehow managed to
let her go. “We should probably get going.” He said, “Got a lot to do if we’re
really going to leave in the morning.”
Sarah tugged on Brian’s hand. She’d just found
him and wasn’t ready to let him go quite yet. “Can we just stay a little
longer?” she asked.
Brian grinned from ear to ear. He found a
comfy spot on the ground to sit and pulled Sarah into his arms and suddenly he
understood why Sarah found the lake so peaceful.
***