Chapter 6
What am I doing here? Olivia asked herself, as she
stepped onto the ICU floor. When she
had called the hospital that morning, she had been told that Nick had been
upgraded from critical condition to stable.
In her excitement over the good news, Olivia had driven to the
hospital. Now that she was there,
however, she was not so sure of herself.
Will they even let me in? she wondered. She wasn’t family, and she really wasn’t
even a “friend of the family”, as Aaron had told the security guard that
day. Oh well, I’m already here. Might as well find out, she decided. Taking a deep breath, she started down the
hall in the direction of Nick’s room.
At the end of the hall, she saw the same guard as before posted
outside Nick’s door. He glanced at her
questioningly as she approached, and she gave him a timid smile in greeting.
“Um… hi. I’m Olivia
Caisson. I was here the other day to see
Nick. Remember?” she asked hopefully.
The guard studied her a moment and then nodded. “Sure, I remember. I’m afraid I can’t let you in unless you’re
with one of the family members though,” he said apologetically.
“Oh… I haven’t seen any of them around here,” Olivia said,
disappointed. “I’d just heard that Nick
was doing better, so I thought I would come up and see him.”
The guard nodded. “Well,
I’m sorry, but I really can’t let you in.
Hospital policy. You can look in
on him if you want though,” he said, motioning to the window.
“Oh, uh… sure, that’d be great,” Olivia said.
“Okay. Just a minute,” the
guard said. He opened the door just
enough to peek into the room, then stepped inside. Moments later, he had opened the blinds
covering the window and was back out in front of the door.
“Thank you,” Olivia said, hesitantly stepping up to the
window. She was suddenly nervous. What if he’s awake? she
wondered. What if he saw her? What would he think, seeing some strange
girl staring at him through the window?
To her relief, as Olivia tentatively looked through the window,
Nick’s eyes were closed. She wasn’t
sure if he was still in a coma or just asleep, but he looked a little better to
her. Some of his color had returned, at
least. And the breathing tube down his
throat was gone, replaced by thin tubes going into his nostrils, attached to an
oxygen tank. Having a lot of medical
knowledge, more than she wanted, Olivia knew all of this was a good sign.
Olivia wasn’t sure how long she stood there, just watching him
sleep, but she couldn’t seem to tear herself away from that window. She didn’t actually know him, but she cared
about him. She wasn’t sure exactly why…
maybe it was because she had called for help for him that day, or maybe it was
because his family had been so nice to her.
Maybe it was just because he was a Backstreet Boy. Olivia didn’t know. But she cared.
Suddenly, Nick’s eyelids fluttered. Olivia’s eyes widened, as his eyes slowly
opened. She let out a little gasp as
his gaze fixed directly onto hers.
Feeling like she had been caught in the act of something bad, Olivia
darted away from the window.
She glanced over at the guard to see him staring at her in
confusion. “I, uh, have to get
going. I forgot I was supposed to be
somewhere right now,” she lied, hurrying down the hall, her cheeks
flaming.
The guard watched her run off and just shook his head.
***
“Mr. Carter? Oh, it’s so
good to have you awake!”
Nick weakly turned his head towards the cheery female voice. It came from a woman in her thirties, dressed
in pink scrubs.
Nurse, he assumed. I’m in a hospital. It
was all coming together, making sense to him now. The small, spotless white room, the small,
hard bed with the stainless steel rails on the sides, and the various blips and
beeps ringing throughout the room all let him know the reality of his
situation.
He was in the hospital - his suicide attempt had failed.
God, I can’t even do that right, Nick
thought miserably. What a
reject. He glared at the nurse, who was checking the
monitors at the head of his bed. He
wanted to ask her why, why didn’t the doctors just let him die? That was what he had wanted. But he couldn’t speak. When he tried, just a weak gurgling sound
came out.
It was enough to get the nurse’s attention though. She glanced back at him and smiled
knowingly. “You can’t talk, hun,” she said sympathetically. “You’re on a ventilator right now to help you
breathe. I’ll go talk to Dr. Filson
though and see if he can take you off it.
You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Nick wanted to nod, but he felt so weak. He blinked his eyes at her instead, hoping
that would get the point across.
She smiled and bustled out of the room. Nick watched walk down the hall from the window
that was directly across from his bed.
And then he remembered her.
The girl. He had seen her when
he had woken up the first time. He had
been all alone then – no nurses or doctors in the room. He had only been awake for a few minutes, it
seemed, but he had seen her through the window. A pretty girl, probably around his age,
maybe younger, petite, with pale skin, black hair, and the most beautiful
eyes. It was her eyes that he
remembered most of all. They were a
deep bluish gray shade, like the color of the ocean.
He had met her gaze, looked into those eyes with his own. His look was one of wonder, but hers was one
of panic. And then she had left. She had run away, leaving him alone
again.
Who was she? Nick wondered. He was sure he had never seen her
before. Why was she standing there,
looking in at him? And why did she run
away when he woke up?
It didn’t make sense to Nick, and puzzling over it was sapping his
strength, or lack of strength. He had
fallen back to sleep shortly after he had seen the girl, and now that he was
awake, he just felt like sleeping again.
And so, he closed his eyes and let himself fall into darkness.
***
