Chapter 8
One week later
“We love you, honey. Never
forget that.”
Nick smiled at his mother and hugged her tightly. “I know, Mom,” he replied. “I love you too.”
It had been a week since Nick had come home from the hospital, and
his family was heading back to their home in Los Angeles. Nick was relieved, for the past week, Jane
had hardly left him alone for a minute.
He knew she probably blamed herself somehow for what he had tried to do
and was just trying to let him know that she loved him, but she was too
overprotective, and he was getting sick of it.
“Well, you better be going now.
You don’t want to miss your flight,” Nick said to his parents.
Bob nodded, taking Jane by the arm. “Come on, honey, Nick’s right. Let’s go.”
Jane nodded tearfully, hugging her son one last time. Bob and the other kids hugged Nick too, and
then they all piled into the rented van to head to the airport.
Nick stood on the porch and waved as they drove away. Then he headed inside, alone for the first
time in weeks. It felt good.
***
That night, as the sun was setting, Nick was on the beach, just
sitting in the sand, watching as the sun sank on the horizon, reflecting on the
dark ocean water. A lump rose in Nick’s
throat as he watched it. It was such a
beautiful sight. If he had succeeded in
killing himself that night, he would have never gotten to see the sun set ever
again.
What had he been thinking that night? Nick tried to remember, but the events of
the evening, in the time before he had taken the pills and after, were fuzzy to
him. He remembered the music, his Papa
Roach CD playing on repeat, and he remembered the feeling of despair. But not much else.
He had many questions.
What had he taken that night?
Who had called 911 for him? But
these questions all went unanswered. No
one wanted to talk to him about that night.
Whenever he had tried to bring it up with his parents, they changed the
subject, trying to get him to focus on getting better instead and thinking of
good things.
And then there was his shrink.
His doctor at the hospital had suggested that Nick see a psychiatrist on
a regular basis, and his parents had been all for it. So now he had weekly appointments to visit
with Dr. Rhonda Johnson, a middle aged woman psychiatrist. He had met with her once in the hospital,
and she seemed nice enough, but she made him uncomfortable. Nick didn’t like the idea of having
counseling, and he refused to tell this doctor much of anything.
He didn’t want to talk to any of the other guys either. Kevin and Brian had flown in to Orlando from
their homes sometime during his hospitalization and stayed for awhile, but they
had both gone home too. AJ and Howie,
who both lived closer, had been coming by to see him about every day, but their
visits were uncomfortable for Nick. All
four of the guys treated him like he was a fragile child and always said things
like, “If you ever want to talk, I’m here,” or worse, always asked, “Are you
okay, Nick?” or “How are you feeling, Nick?”
Nick couldn’t stand it anymore.
This left him with no one to talk to, no one he wanted to share
his problems with. He was all alone.
Nick sighed and raked a hand through his blonde hair. The familiar feeling of depression was
setting in with these feelings of loneliness, of emptiness, and he didn’t know
what to do about it. And it scared him.
***
Olivia walked slowly along the beach, the sand cool and soft
beneath her bare feet. A cool sea
breeze tousled her hair and brought goosebumps to her skin. She shivered slightly and hugged her arms to
her chest.
In the few weeks that Olivia had been living there, she had taken
a walk along the beach after dark almost every night. She loved the beach even more at night when
it was dark and cool and empty. It was
so peaceful and romantic.
When she had been younger, Olivia had dreamed of having her
wedding on the beach, right at sunset.
That’ll never happen now, she thought
sadly, gazing up at the star-filled sky.
Her childhood wedding dreams were just that – dreams, that would never
come true. She wondered what it would
like to be in love. Being in love was
something Olivia had often wondered about, but it had not happened for her
yet. And she doubted it ever would.
Up ahead, Olivia saw the light of her house come into view, and
she quickened her pace a little, eager to go inside and grab a sweatshirt, for
it had really cooled down that night.
But as she reached the strip of beach directly behind her house,
she stopped. Just a ways down the beach
from her was another figure, standing all alone at the edge of the water. It was too dark to see who it was, but she
could tell it was a man by his size.
“Hey!” the man called suddenly, startling Olivia.
“Hi!” she called back, starting towards him.
He came towards her, and as the light projecting from her house
came over his face, she realized who it was.
Nick Carter.
***
