Chapter 20:
I Love You,
Jack
“Damn, you look like poop, AJ,” Brian commented as AJ returned to
the hospital waiting room. “Why are you
so sweaty? And… greasy? And why do you smell like pickles?”
“Thanks, Rok,” AJ commented dryly, then shot Brian a furtive
smile. “And for your information, I just
screwed a chick on the floor of the local McDonald’s.”
Brian blinked. “You did what?”
“Yeah, man, she was fine.
Dayum!”
“But AJ… what about Praline?”
AJ swallowed the guilty feelings he felt welling up inside him and
snorted. “Praline Shmaline. Praline’s dead, Brian.”
“She’s not-“
“Yes, she is! She may still
be breathing, but she’s not alive… she’s a freaking vegetable, okay! We might as well start calling her Mrs.
Potatohead instead of Praline, cause she ain’t gonna be normal ever again. So I’m moving on. That’s what she’d want, right?”
Brian shook his head. “No,
AJ, you don’t understand. Praline’s not
a vegetable… she’s awake! She woke up
from her coma, and she’s perfectly fine!”
The blood drained from AJ’s face.
“She’s… what?”
“She’s okay, man! Isn’t
that great?”
“Yeah…” AJ said slowly.
“Yeah, it is… really… but, Bri… I… I cheated on her, man! What am I going to do?”
“Just be honest with her,” Brian said with a shrug. “She’ll understand. You thought she was dying, and you were so
caught up in grief that you didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Yeah… yeah! That’s good,
Bri!” AJ said with a grin. “I’m gonna go
tell her now!” He ran off to his
girlfriend’s room, eager to tell her the truth and get the weight off his
chest.
“Like, hi, AJ!” exclaimed Praline when AJ strode into her hospital
room.
“Hey, ‘sup, Praline?” replied AJ, perching on the edge of her
bed. Taking her hand in his, he said,
“We gotta talk, baby. I’m really glad
you’re not a vegetable, but I have a confession to make.”
“Like, okay… hey, why do you, like, smell like pickles?”
“I just cheated on you with a McDonald’s employee named Wanda.”
Praline blinked. Once,
twice, thrice. “You, like, what?” she
asked with a twitch.
“I just cheated on you with a McDonald’s employee named Wanda,” AJ
repeated.
Praline burst into tears.
“Ohmygod! Ohmygod, AJ, how could
you, like, do this to, like, me?!” she screeched. “I, like, hate you, and, like, I never, like,
want to, like, see you, like, ever again!
Go to, like, Hell!”
“But I love you!” pleaded AJ.
“Like, die!”
“Praline-“
“Get, like, out of my, like, room!”
AJ sighed. “Fine,” he
relented and trudged out of the hospital room, his shoulders slumped in
defeat. And naturally, he then proceeded
to run out of the hospital, heartbroken, drive to the nearest bar, and drown
his sorrows in alcohol.
“I love you, Jack,” he slurred drunkenly at the shot glass of Jack
Daniels in front of him, the umpteenth in an infinite series.
But the alcohol seemed to be mocking him. “Don’t you do that, Alex. Don’t you say your goodbyes,” the shot glass
sputtered.
Smiling, AJ quickly downed the glass and ordered up another. No goodbyes, after all. The night was young.
So he kept drinking, and no one around him protested.
If only they knew what was to come…
***
