Chapter 4:
Put
on Some PANTS
The next day
Safyre had miraculously gone into remission the day before, so she
had been discharged from the hospital.
She, Praline, and Ali had decided to move in with Nikki and Taylor and
live across the street from the five Backstreet Boys. But they would not be home for long.
“We’re leaving for our tour today,” the Boys told them over a
McDonald’s breakfast that morning. “How
would you ladies like to come with us?”
“Ohmygod, like, awesome!” shrieked the five girls.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” said Nick suddenly. “We don’t have an opening act. Maybe you guys could start a girl group and
open for us! Can you sing?”
“Well, like, I’ve never, like, had any training, but, like, yeah,
I can, like, totally sing!” Nikki replied.
“Yeah, like, me too!” Taylor added.
“Yeah, like, me three!” Ali added to that.
“Yeah, like, me four!” Praline added to what Ali had added.
“Yeah, like, me five!” Safyre added to what Praline had added to
what Ali had added to what Taylor had added to what Nikki had said.
“Okay, great! Now all you
need is some songs to sing,” said Nick.
“And we need, like, a name!” Nikki reminded him. “That’s, like, the most important part!”
“Oh. Right,” said Nick.
“Well, like, what should we call ourselves?” Taylor asked, looking
at Nikki, Ali, Praline, and Safyre.
“Oh, like, I know!” said Praline.
“How about we do, like, what ‘N Sync did, and like, use our initials!”
“Okay… so we have, like, a T for Taylor, like, an N for Nikki,
like, an A for Ali, like, a P for Praline, and, like, a C for Saf-“
“It’s, like, an S, not a C,” Safyre interrupted.
“Oh, like, okay. So, like,
an S for Safyre,” Taylor corrected herself.
“So, like, what can you spell out of that?” Ali asked.
“Ooh, like, I know!” Nikki squealed. “SPANT!”
“Like, what’s that mean?” Safyre asked.
“Uh… well, like, I dunno… but it, like, sounds cool!”
“Ooh, I, like, thought of a real word!” Taylor cried. “PANTS!”
“Ooh, like, yeah! P for
Praline, A for Ali, N for Nikki, T for Taylor, and S for Safyre!” Praline
cried.
“Yeah! And, like, our
trademark can be, like, wearing pants!”
“Ohmygod, Tay, you’re, like, a genius!” Nikki exclaimed.
“Like, thanks, girl!”
“Okay, so you have a name,” said Kevin. “Now what are you going to sing?”
“Ooh, I know!” Nick cried.
“They can just sing ‘N Sync songs and change some of the words!”
“Ooh, that’s perfect, Nicky!” said Howie. “Welcome to KBNHA records, girls!”
Praline, Ali, Nikki, Taylor, and Safyre all let out one collective
shriek.
If only they knew what was to come…
***
“Like, what’s up, Miami?!” Praline yelled to the packed arena that
night. “My name’s, like, Praline, and,
like, this is Ali, and like, this is Nikki, and like, this is Taylor, and like,
this is Safyre! We, like, call ourselves
PANTS! We’re a new group that was, like,
just formed, like, this morning, and we’re, like, going to open for, like, the
Backstreet Boys!”
There was scattered applause throughout the arena.
“Okay, like, first, we’re, like, going to sing, like, a song
called, like, ‘Tearin’ Up My Heart’,” Praline announced. There had not been time for them to find an
instrumental version of the ‘N Sync song to sing along too, so they just sang
along with the CD version. As ‘N Sync’s
voices came over the speakers, the five girls joined in.
It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you
But when we are apart I feel it too
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain
With or without you
They hadn’t had time to make up a dance routine either, so they
just danced freestyle. When the song
ended, Safyre said, “Okay, we’re going to, like, slow things down a bit with a
ballad that I wrote called, like, ‘God Must Have Spent a Little More Time On
You’.”
“Uh, like, Safyre, like, I don’t think you really, like, wrote
that,” whispered Taylor. “I mean, like,
isn’t that, like, another ‘N Sync song?”
“Like, yeah, but, like, they won’t know that!” Safyre whispered
back, motioning to the crowd, which had begun booing and hurling Beanie Babies
at the girls. “See, they, like, love
us! They’re, like, giving us Beanie
Babies!” The Beanie Babies soon turned
to empty nacho containers and soda bottles.
“Can this be true, tell me can this be real,” Nikki sang along
with Justin Timberlake’s whining voice, as a half-full Pepsi bottle bounced off
her forehead. “How can I put into words
what I feel…”
If only they knew what was to come…
***
