Chapter
20
Luckily,
when AJ entered Tara’s room, he realized he had made it in time. He could tell she was worse, for her
breathing was even more labored and raspy, and she looked even worse than
before.
He
carried Madison over to the chair beside Tara’s bed and sat down, holding her
in his lap. Tara was dozing, but when he
took her hand, she woke up.
“Hey,
you two,” she said softly, gripping AJ’s hand.
Her hand was as cold as ice.
“Hey,
sweetie,” AJ said, bringing her hand to his lips and tenderly kissing it.
“Hi,
Mommy,” Madison said, her voice small and scared sounding. AJ realized she must have sensed that
something bad was going to happen.
“Hey,
baby,” Tara replied, smiling sadly up at her daughter. Then she looked up at AJ. “I’m afraid it’s not going to be much longer
now, Aje,” she whispered.
AJ
felt tears threaten him, but he refused to cry in front of his wife or
daughter. He had to be brave for both of
them.
“Don’t
you say that, Tara,” AJ said stubbornly.
“You can’t give up hope.”
Tara
shook her head sadly, and AJ saw a tear escape her eye. “AJ, I know what’s happening to me. That’s why I had Kathie call you. I just wanted to see you and Maddie one last
time.”
“Mommy,
why are you crying?” Madison asked. Tara
looked up at AJ, now knowing what to say.
AJ didn’t know what to tell her either.
Finally,
Tara reached out her hand and grabbed onto Madison’s. “Baby, I’m very sick,” she sadly. “And I’m afraid I’m going to go to Heaven
soon.”
“Heaven?”
asked Madison in awe. “But that’s where
God lives.”
“Yes,
sweetheart, and I get to go live with God soon,” Tara explained. AJ could tell she was struggling to hold
back her tears as she explained this to her daughter. He was struggling himself.
“Why?”
asked Madison.
AJ
decided he needed to take some action.
“Maddie, like we said before, Mommy’s very sick, and God wants her to
come live in Heaven because it’s such a wonderful place.”
“Can
I come too?” Madison asked. AJ nearly
burst into tears at her innocence, and yet, he managed to stay calm.
“Not
yet, Baby,” Tara replied. “Someday, you
will, but not for a long time.”
“Oh,”
Madison finally said, sticking out her lower lip. AJ wasn’t sure if she fully understood yet or
not, but at least she had stopped asking so many questions.
Suddenly
Tara gasped and closed her eyes in pain.
Her grip on AJ’s hand tightened.
“Baby?”
AJ asked fearfully. Finally, Tara
relaxed and opened her eyes again. “Do
you need some pain medication?” AJ asked.
She
shook her head. “It’ll just make me
groggy,” she whispered. “It’ll be gone
soon anyway.”
AJ
said nothing, just gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “I love you, Tara,” he finally said.
She
smiled up at him, her blue eyes filling with tears. “And I love you, AJ,” she replied. “Don’t worry, I’m not afraid. I just don’t want to leave you and Maddie.”
“Don’t
worry, Mommy, me and Daddy will see you when we come to Heaven,” Madison said,
smiling.
“Oh,
Maddie, baby, I love you,” Tara said, beginning to lose her composure. Madison climbed off of AJ’s lap and onto
Tara’s bed. She lay down beside her
mother and snuggled up against her side.
“I
love you too, Mommy,” she said. Tara
wrapped an arm around her daughter and held her tightly, her tears beginning to
run down her cheeks.
“AJ,”
she whispered. “Please be strong for
me. For Maddie.”
AJ
nodded, but his own tears began to fill his eyes, for he knew that Tara was
saying her final goodbyes. It would not
be much longer now.
“I’ll
try, honey,” he said in a choked up voice.
“I love you so much.”
“I
love you too, AJ,” she said again. “And
I’ll always be watching over you and Maddie.
Always remember that.”
AJ
nodded. “I know, Tar,” he said.
“Tell
my parents and all my friends goodbye for me,” she said.
“I
will, baby,” he replied.
Tara
offered him a sad smile and looked down at Madison. “Maddie, baby, you be a good girl for Daddy,
and always remember that I love you.”
“I
will, Mommy,” Madison replied solemnly.
Tara smiled and kissed the top of her head. Suddenly, a pain shot through her chest and
she gasped.
“Tara?”
AJ asked, his eyes wide with fear. Tara
looked up at him.
“This
is it,” she said, gasping for air. “I
love you.”
“I
love you too,” AJ cried, grasping her hand tightly. She grasped his hand back, but suddenly, her
grip on his hand relaxed, and her eyes closed for a final time. Her chest stopped rising, and her gasps for
breath stopped. The room was suddenly
silent. Then, not being able to hold
back his emotions any longer, AJ burst into tears. Madison sat up and looked at him first, then
at Tara.
“Mommy?”
she asked, gently shaking Tara’s shoulder.
Of course, Tara didn’t move.
“Mommy?!” Madison asked again, her voice rising with panic. AJ cried harder as Madison buried her face in
Tara’s shoulder and began to sob.
***
