Chapter
14
Ashalyn
wandered back up to her room with a glass of water and turned on her TV. She flipped through the channels, trying to
find something good. She came to a news
brief and nearly gasped as a picture of Mike popped up on the screen. They were talking about the wreck. Tears filling her eyes, she quickly changes
channels. She came to HBO and found
“Titanic” on. Of course, it was at the
end, where Jack was almost dead, begging Rose to promise him that she would
live on. Her tears spilling over, she
flipped on. When she got to MTV, the
video for “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” was on, and she could no longer
take it. She began to sob again, for the
countless time that night.
But
as the beautiful melody of “Show Me the Meaning” played on, Ashalyn got an
idea. She went to her night table and
pulled out her diary, something that she had once written in when she was much
younger, but hadn’t in a long time. Now,
she opened it to a clean sheet near the back and began to write, pouring her
heart out into the words she wrote on the paper.
Nearly
a half an hour later, Ashalyn set down her pen and read the lyrics she had just
written.
It feels like I’m
slowly dying,
When will my suffering
end?
Why can’t I stop my
crying?
When will my heart ever
mend?
Why did you have to
leave me?
Why did you make me
cry?
This is not the way it
should be.
I wish I could tell you
good-bye.
It feels like I’m
slowly dying,
When will my suffering
end?
Why can’t I stop my
crying?
When will my heart ever
mend?
Why does my heart feel
so broken?
Why am I so empty
inside?
I wish I could have
awoken,
And found you right by
my side.
It feels like I’m
slowly dying,
When will my suffering
end?
Why can’t I stop my
crying?
When will my heart ever
mend?
Why am I so full of
sorrow?
Why does my soul want
to cry?
How can I get through
tomorrow?
Oh, why did you have
die?
It feels like I’m
slowly dying,
When will my suffering
end?
Why can’t I stop my
crying?
When will my heart ever
mend?
When can I end the
pain?
When will me heart go
on?
I feel like I’m going
insane,
Now that I realize
you’re gone.
It feels like I’m
slowly dying,
When will my suffering end?
Why can’t I stop my
crying?
When will my heart ever
mend?
“Slowly Dying” Ó 2000 by Julie Lewis
***
“That’s
beautiful,” Brian murmured, studying the piece of paper in front of him. It was the next morning, and Ashalyn had
arrived at the hospital early to see him, bringing her song with him.
Ashalyn
looked up to see tears shimmering in Brian’s blue eyes, which brought tears to
her own. “You really think so?” she
asked shyly.
“I
do,” Brian said. “It’s wonderful.”
“Thank
you,” Ashalyn said sincerely, smiling sadly.
“Do you think there’s time to get it on the album? I really want it to be on there.”
“I’m
sure they’ll put it on. You just need to
get some music to go with it, and then once the other girls learn their parts,
you could record it real quick and get it on the album. I mean, if you couldn’t get it done for
awhile, you could always push back the release date of the album too,” Brian
said.
Ashalyn nodded. “Yeah, I
already have a melody thought up, and the other girls really only need to learn
the chorus, if I have it my way.”
”What’s ‘your way’?” Brian asked curiously.
Ashalyn
took a deep breath. “Well, Brian, I was
wondering if maybe you’d like to collaborate with us on this song. I thought maybe you and I could take turns
singing the verses, and then Rena, Lyssa, and Jen could add their voices on the
chorus.”
“That’s
a great idea, Ash,” Brian said. “I’d be
honored to sing this song with you. It
expresses what we’re going through perfectly.”
“Thanks,”
Ashalyn said again, her eyes brimming.
Brian smiled sadly at her and squeezed her hand.
“Ash,
this is going to be hard to get over, but we can do it. Together,” he said.
Ashalyn
nodded. It was going to be hard,
but she believed him. As long as they
were there for each other, she knew that someday, things would be okay.
***
