Chapter
21
“So,
Ashalyn, what exactly were you and Bri doing together in there?” Elyssa asked,
mischief sparkling in her blue eyes.
“Nothing,
Lyssa,” Ashalyn said. “Look, I don’t
want to talk about it now. Where’s Rena
at?”
“I’m
right here,” Serena said, emerging from the bathroom.
“Hey,
can I talk to you?” Ashalyn asked. “In
private?”
“Sure,”
Serena said. “Where at?”
Ashalyn
glanced around their hotel room. Jenna
and Elyssa were perched on the two beds, watching TV. This room was no place to talk in private.
“Um…
I don’t know, let’s wander downstairs and find someplace,” Ashalyn said.
“Okay,”
Serena said. She grabbed their room key
and followed Ashalyn out the door.
They
walked downstairs to a small café in the lobby, which was nearly deserted at
this time at night. They took a seat
and ordered milkshakes.
The
milkshakes arrived quickly, since there were few other customers to wait
on. Once the waitress brought the
shakes, Serena took a sip of hers, then asked, “So, Ash, what did you want to
talk about?”
Ashalyn
sighed. “Well, it’s about Brian,” she
said. “I wanted to talk to you because
you know how Lyssa and Jen can be.
They’re too pushy sometimes. I
know you’ll actually listen to me though.”
Serena
nodded understandingly. Ashalyn smiled
slightly, knowing that Serena was someone she could always count on to listen
to her problems.
“So,
what about Brian?” Serena asked. “Lyssa
told me about the hot tub thing.”
Ashalyn
blushed. “Yeah,” she said. “But we weren’t doing anything! We were swimming at first, just having fun,
and then we got tired of that and went into the hot tub. We were just talking, and then I started thinking
about Mike, and I started crying. He was
trying to comfort me, and all he was doing was rubbing my neck. AJ and Elyssa made it seem like we were
caught making out of something.”
Serena
nodded. “Yeah, I know,” she said. “But you guys are only friends, aren’t you?”
Ashalyn
nodded, rather hesitantly. “We are,” she
said, “but… I don’t know… I think that maybe I want us to be more than
that. Am I a horrible person for
thinking that?”
“No,
why would you be?” Serena asked.
“Because
of Mike,” Ashalyn said miserably. “It’s
only been a month. I couldn’t possibly
like someone else, could I? That would
be like betraying Mike!”
“Ash,
don’t get all worked up,” Serena said.
“If you like Brian, that’s a good thing.
It shows that you’re getting over Mike’s death and trying to move
on. It doesn’t mean that you’ve
forgotten Mike, or betrayed him. We all
know how much you loved him. And you
still do, right?”
“Of
course I do!” Ashalyn said. “I’ll always
love him!”
Serena
nodded. “See?” she asked. “You still love him, but he’s gone, and you
can’t live the rest of your life not loving anyone, just because you’re trying
to be loyal to Mike. Do you think he
would want you to never date again, to never fall in love again?”
“I
could never love anyone like I did Mike,” Ashalyn said.
“No,
probably not,” Serena said. “He was your
first true love. But that doesn’t mean
there won’t be another one. You may fall
in love again and not love him just like you did Mike, but just as much
as you did Mike.” Ashalyn shrugged. “So… do you like Brian” Serena asked.
“I
think I do,” Ashalyn whispered. “But
it’s not just horrible because of Mike.
What about Leighanne? I mean, I
know he’s not over her yet either. She
was his wife! Even if I do like him, I
should just forget it. He could never
love me like he loved Leigh.”
“That’s
not exactly true,” Serena said. “I mean,
Brian’s in the same position you are.
You both lost loved ones, and you’re both getting over it slowly and
rebuilding your lives. Maybe he feels
the same way about you. I mean, it’s
obvious that he cares about you, as a friend.
But maybe he likes you for more that that too, and he’s just as afraid
to admit it as you are.”
Ashalyn
shook her head sadly. “I doubt it,” she
said. “He’s just a great friend. I don’t think we could ever be more, even if
I wanted to be.”
“Don’t
give up on that idea yet,” Serena warned.
“Just give it some time, and wait and see what happens.”
***
