Chapter
30
“Nice
place you got here,” Elyssa said, surveying Jenna’s room in the clinic. It was a spacious room with two beds,
decorated mostly in pure, spotless white.
Jenna
said nothing, just sat in the middle of her bed, hugging her knees to her
chest. She had been in the same position
for the entire five minutes they had been there.
It
was the day after their first concert in Tampa, and they had another one there
that night, so they had a whole day to kill in Tampa. Of course, the girls had decided to visit the
clinic that Jenna had been checked into the day before.
“So,
what have you had to do so far?” Ashalyn asked, perching on the edge of Jenna’s
bed.
Jenna
glanced at her and rolled her eyes, showing a genuine expression for the first
time since the visit began. “All kinds
of crap,” she muttered. “They’re making
me talk to this stupid shrink, and we have to keep these gay food logs that
tell everything we eat. They force us to
eat crap, even if we’re not hungry. By
the time I get out of here, I’ll be a blimp from eating so much. We hate it.”
“Who’s
‘we’?” Elyssa asked.
“The
other girls here,” Jenna replied. She
motioned to the empty bed next to her.
“You should see my roommate. Her
name’s Shawna, and she’s so skinny, she’s disgusting looking.”
Serena
studied Jenna sadly, thinking that Jenna must not realize that she herself
looked disgustingly skinny.
“Well,
that sucks, but just think, once you get out of here, you’ll be all better, and
you can tour with us again,” Ashalyn said, hoping to encourage Jenna. Jenna didn’t look very encouraged though.
Suddenly,
there was a knock on the door. “Who is
it?” Jenna called.
“It’s
me, Nick,” came Nick’s voice.
Jenna
went white. “Don’t let him in,” she
whispered.
Ashalyn
hesitated, then went to the door. She
opened it just enough for her to get out through it, then closed it again. Nick was standing outside.
“Hey,
Ash,” he said. “Can I go in there?”
“Jenna
doesn’t really want any visitors besides us right now,” Ashalyn told him
hesitantly.
His
face fell. “She’s still mad at me, isn’t
she?” he asked softly.
“I
don’t know, Nick. I think she’s just mad
at the world right now,” Ashalyn replied, hoping to comfort him.
“Ash,
please let me go in there. I want to be
with her. I want to help her through
this.” Nick’s face looked so pleading,
and Ashalyn felt bad for him.
“Well…
I don’t know. She’s my best friend, and
I don’t want to go against her wishes… but I think she might really want you to
be with her and won’t admit it.”
He
looked hopeful. “You think?”
She
shrugged. “Right now, I really don’t
know what to think,” she said. “Hang on
a minute.”
She
stepped back inside and motioned for Serena and Elyssa to come out. Then she said, “Jen, you’ve got a visitor.”
Jenna’s
green eyes widened, and she shot a pleading look to Ashalyn, but it was too
late. Ashalyn had already opened the door
wider and was ushering Nick in. Jenna
shot Ashalyn a look of death, but Ashalyn closed the door and disappeared
before she could see it.
As
Nick got a good look at his girlfriend, he nearly dropped his jaw in
shock. How could she look so much sicker
than she did just two days before, when he had first discovered her eating
disorder? He didn’t know, but somehow,
she did. Maybe it was just the atmosphere
around her that had caused the change.
Maybe it was just the sight of Jenna sitting in those ugly hospital
pajamas, twisted in the white cotton bed sheets on the bed sitting on one side
of the sterile white room. Her face
looked colorless, except for the dark circles that hung under her sunken
eyes. Her cheekbones jutted out of her
hollow cheeks. Her dark hair was
tangled and matted, not perfectly styled, as it usually was.
“Go
away,” Jenna said, her voice low, her eyes boring into him like daggers.
“Jen,
I… I just want to be with you,” Nick said, his voice faltering. “Please don’t be mad at me. I just thought I was doing what was
best. I was afraid if I didn’t tell
someone… I would lose you. And I
couldn’t imagine living my life without you in it.” His voice was filled with emotion, as was
the pleading expression on his face.
Jenna
stared at him, and Nick saw a shimmer in her eyes. Could those be tears? She turned her head away from him before he
was sure of it. But then, Nick saw the
slight trembling of her bony shoulders beneath her hospital gown, and he knew
she was indeed crying.
Without
a second thought, Nick hurried to her, climbing onto the bed beside her and
taking her feather-light body into his arms.
He offered her no words, just held her, rocking her back and forth
slightly, soothing her as if she were his daughter, while her tears flowed
freely.
***
