Chapter
61
The funeral was four days later. Ashalyn stood in the soft green grass of the
cemetery, clutching Brian’s hand tightly, tears streaming down her face. She and Brian had booked a flight to Orlando
as soon as they had heard the news days earlier, the horrible news that Serena
and Howie’s baby was dead. Ashalyn
could not believe it then, and she still couldn’t now. It seemed unthinkable.
But staring at Andrea’s casket, the hard reality set
in. Ashalyn could not believe how small
the cherry casket was. She had never
seen a casket so tiny in her life. And
inside lay Andrea, looking like a plastic baby doll, not a real child. She looked so precious and perfect, wearing
a lacy white dress, her tiny, chubby hands laying over her chest, her eyes
closed. The sight of it all was more
horrible than Ashalyn could imagine.
Behind the casket, an empty grave sat, a small hole, just
the right size for the small casket.
And then there was the tombstone, made of white marble, small, with an
angel crouching on top of it. Engraved
in the front were the stark dates of Andrea’s birth and death.
Andrea Rose
Del Toro
February 7,
2002 – July 3, 2002
“To every
thing there is a season,
and a time
to every purpose under heaven.
A time to
be born, and a time to die…”
-
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2
Seeing the headstone, complete with the Bible quote, made
Ashalyn’s eyes well up with even more tears.
Andrea’s season had been short, but it had been worthwhile. Her time on the earth had changed Serena and
Howie’s lives for the better. If only
she could have lived just a little while longer…
“Ashalyn?” a wavery voice asked.
Ashalyn looked up to see that Serena had come over to
her. The funeral had ended, and people
were starting to leave.
“Oh, Rena,” Ashalyn sobbed, pulling her friend close to her
and hugging her tightly.
Serena began to sob as well. She had done her best to keep her composure throughout
the service, but now that it was over, she could no longer hold back. Words were not needed. The two friends just held each other and
wept.
***
“Come on, Lyss, don’t you want to see Ashalyn? She’s been here three days already, and
you’ve barely talked to her. You
haven’t seen her in weeks,” AJ coaxed.
“I don’t care. I
just want to go home. Please,”
Elyssa begged, holding tightly to his arm.
AJ sighed as he studied his girlfriend’s pleading,
tearstained face. It had been enough of
a struggle to get her to come to the funeral.
She had gone only because she didn’t want to let Howie and Serena down,
make them think she didn’t care. But
she hadn’t wanted to go at all. She had
dreaded going and having to look into that casket, at baby Andrea. AJ had told her over and over that it was
not her fault, but he knew she blamed herself.
She understood what Andrea had died from, and she knew she had not
caused it, but she felt like she might have been able to prevent it.
Ever since she had gone home the night it had happened, she
had not been able to sleep. Instead,
the “what if’s” had been running through her mind constantly. What if I had listened more closely to
the baby monitor? Maybe I could have
heard her stop breathing. What if I had
checked on her more often? I could have
gotten her to the hospital sooner, and maybe they could save her. What if…
They just kept going on.
Elyssa tried to tell herself that it wasn’t her fault, but in her heart,
she could not help but feel at blame.
Especially after Serena’s reaction that night. The looks she had flashed to Elyssa. Serena blamed Elyssa for Andrea’s death, she
knew it.
And right now, she could see Serena over with Ashalyn,
hugging her and crying. There was no way
she was going over there. She couldn’t
face Serena. She couldn’t bear to see
her grief stricken face. All she wanted
was to go home, to grieve by herself.
“Okay, fine,” AJ relented.
“Let’s go.”
Elyssa nodded. She
felt relieved, but she also felt horrible.
What kind of friend was she?
More tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back and followed AJ to
where their car was parked.
“See ya, AJ,” called a monotone voice.
Elyssa glanced up and saw Nick and Jenna heading to their
car, just down the street from AJ’s.
Nick had his arm securely around Jenna, who’s face was a mess with
tears, her eyes swollen, her cheeks blotchy, and streaked with mascara and
tearstains.
“Bye, Nick,” AJ called back, giving a little half-hearted
wave.
Jenna managed a tight-lipped smile before climbing into the
car. Elyssa did not smile back. Instead, she got into the car, buried her
face in her hands, and began to sob yet again.
***
