Time

 

 

Time
 Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…

 

 

2045

 

Brian Littrell walked slowly down the hall of the nursing home.  He stopped at the closed door of Room 103 and got his emotions in check before he lightly knocked.  This was something he had to do more and more often, for these visits grew harder and harder as the time went by.

 

“Come in,” called a voice he recognized as his cousin, Kevin Richardson’s. 

 

Brian slowly turned the knob and entered the room, stopping to take in the scene that sat before him.  Kevin and Brian’s best friend of fifty two years, Nick Carter, sat in chairs on one side of the bed in the center of the room.  Howie Dorough, another of Brian’s close friends, sat in a wheelchair on the other side of the bed.  And propped up in the bed was the fifth member of their group, AJ McLean.

 

“Hey, guys,” Brian said, smiling at them all.  Kevin, Howie, and Nick returned his smile, saying their hellos to him.  Then Brian stepped up to AJ’s bed.  “Hey, AJ!” he said brightly.  He studied AJ’s blank face carefully, looking for some sign that his friend recognized him.  At the sound of his voice, AJ’s eyes met with Brian’s, but the look in them was empty.  Brian sighed.  “It’s me, Brian.  Remember?” he asked.

 

“Brian?” AJ inquired, his voice low and raspy.

 

“Yeah.  Brian Littrell.  From the Backstreet Boys.  Remember that, buddy?” Brian asked, hoping to trigger AJ’s memory. 

 

“Oh.  Sure,” AJ mumbled, but Brian could tell that AJ was just playing along.  Really, Brian was a stranger to him.

 

It had been getting progressively worse for the past five years, ever since AJ had first been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  Some days, he was better than others.  Some days, he could carry on sensible conversations.  Some days, he seemed to know who Brian and the rest of them were.  Other days, like this one, he did not.

 

“Here, Brian, sit down next to me,” said Howie from his wheelchair. 

 

“Thanks, D,” Brian replied, pulling up a chair and sitting down.  “So, how have you been?”

 

Howie shrugged.  “Well, you know… some days are better than others.  I’m afraid today’s not one of my good days.”

 

Brian nodded sympathetically.  Poor Howie had suffered from arthritis for years, and it had progressed to the point where he was unable to walk without the use of a walker, and on bad days, he even had to use a wheelchair.   This was one of those days.

 

Brian’s gaze flickered next to the two men sitting across from him, on the other side of AJ’s bed.  Nick and Kevin. 

 

“So, Frack, how ya been doin?” Brian asked.

 

“Pretty good,” Nick replied.  “I’ve been sticking to my diet, getting exercise, and all that crap.” 

 

He rolled his eyes, and Brian chuckled.  “Good for you, man,” Brian said encouragingly, inside, relieved.   In the past ten years, Nick had suffered three heart attacks and had undergone a double bypass just the year before.  He was now on a strict diet and exercise regimen to keep his cholesterol levels under control.   He had been doing great for months, but Brian still always worried about him.

 

Next, Brian glanced at Kevin.  A flicker of sadness ran through him and he realized how gaunt and sickly Kevin looked.  He was unbelievably thin, all the muscle he had worked so hard for those many years ago gone.  His gray hair and thick eyebrows were also gone, making his appearance very different.  Like his father, Kevin was a victim to cancer.

 

“How about you, Kev?” he asked.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m doin’ okay, Bri,” he replied, a smile brightening his gaunt, wrinkled face.  “I’m still in remission, and I’m getting better every day.”

 

“That’s great, cuz,” Brian said, grinning. 

 

“So, what about you?  How have you been?” Kevin asked.

 

“I’m great,” Brian answered truthfully.   It was hard to believe, but despite all his past health problems, now, as a seventy year old man, he was in perfect health, unlike the other four of his former bandmates.

 

Kevin watched Brian proudly.  His cousin had been through so much in his life, and yet, here he was, alive and well to tell about it.  Kevin’s thoughts drifted back to a particularly trying time, the time when Brian had gone through open heart surgery.  It had been a hard time for all of them…

 

***

 

And I know that we have had some times
That we can’t forget the struggle
‘Cause we have so far to go…

 

 

1998

 

“Aunt Jackie!” Kevin called, seeing his aunt, Brian’s mother, at the end of the hallway.  He raced towards her, Nick, Howie, and AJ hot on his heels.  “How is he?” he asked breathlessly.

 

Jackie smiled.  “He’s out of surgery and doing just fine,” she replied. 

 

“That’s great,” Kevin said, his nerves settling.  He and the other three guys had been so terribly worried about their friend and bandmate the whole way to Rochester, Minnesota, where Brian’s heart surgery had just taken place.  

 

They had been in Orlando, Florida, performing at Disney’s Graduation Night, against their will.  They had wanted to back out, insisting that they needed to be by Brian’s side during this whole ordeal, but their managers, Johnny and Donna Wright, as well as Lou Pearlman, a.k.a. Big Poppa, insisted they perform.   They had sang “Quit Playing Games”, Howie taking over Brian’s solo at the beginning.  But their hearts had not been in it.  They had only wanted to get to Minnesota to see Brian, to make sure he was okay.

 

Now that it was behind them, the performance, the flight, and now, Brian’s surgery, things seemed much better, much more under control.  Kevin’s stress level had lowered, his nerves had calmed, and he was focusing on one thing – Brian.

 

“Come sit down with Harold and I for a bit,” Jackie said.  “You all will be able to see Brian in a little while.”

 

“Okay,” Kevin said, leading the others into a waiting room across the hall, where his uncle, Harold, and his other cousin, Brian’s older brother, Harry, sat.

 

They all greeted the rest of Brian’s family and sat down to wait.

 

Just a few minutes later, the door to the waiting room slowly opened.  Kevin glanced up to see Brian enter the room, wearing a hospital gown and slippers and wheeling an IV pole beside him. 

 

Kevin was relieved to see Brian up and about, but seeing him like that, hooked up to an IV made Kevin go pale.  It brought back too many memories of his father’s death from cancer seven years earlier.

 

Kevin quickly pushed the thoughts of his father to the back of his mind and smiled up at his cousin.

 

“Brian,” he said, tears rising to his eyes, against his will.

 

“Hey, Kev,” Brian replied, grinning.  He made his way to the empty seat next to Kevin and sat down. 

 

“They sure get you back on your feet quick around here, huh?” he asked, trying to make light of the situation.

 

Brian chuckled slightly.  “Sure do,” he replied.

 

“So, how are you feeling?”

 

“Weak, tired.   But okay,” Brian said.  “Glad to be alive.”

 

Kevin nodded.  He was glad too.

 

***

 

Time
 Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…

 

 

2045

“Hey, AJ, you want me to turn on the radio?” Nick asked.

 

“Radio?  Okay…” AJ said absently.

 

Nick shrugged and turned on the radio next to AJ’s bed.  He knew how much AJ liked to listen to music, even in his old senile state.

 

To his surprise, the sounds of Brian’s voice rang through, as their old song, “Time”, played.

 

Nick smiled.  He remembered when they had just been starting out and how difficult things had been.  He remembered waiting just to hear their first song play on the radio…

 

***

 

I remember when mom used to say
That things are getting better
And you’ll soon be on your way
Remember those days, that we would sing at the drop of a dime
Way back when nothing else mattered…

 

 

1995

 

“What’s the matter, honey?” Nick’s mother, Jane, asked, seeing her son’s troubled expression.

 

“Aw, nothing, Mom,” he replied, a surefire sign to her that something was wrong.   She patiently waited for him to continue, knowing that he would.  “I dunno, it’s just, we’ve been working so hard for these past two years, and it doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere.”

 

“Oh, Nicky,” she said, with a sigh.  “You have gotten somewhere.  Look how far you’ve come.  Two years ago, you didn’t even have a record deal, and now you have one and a song out too.”

 

“Yeah, but no one likes it,” Nick said, thinking of how unsuccessful “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” was at that time.  The radio stations weren’t even playing it. 

 

“Sweetheart, they will.  Soon, everyone will hear it and realize how great it is,” Jane insisted.  “Things are getting better, and soon, you’ll be on your way to fame.”

 

“I hope so,” Nick said.  “That’s my dream.”

 

Their conversation was interrupted by the phone ringing.

 

“Hello?” Nick answered, putting the receiver to his ear.

 

“Nick, guess what!” came AJ’s excited voice.

 

“What?” Nick asked curiously.

 

“They played our song!” AJ shouted.  “XL 106.7 played ‘We’ve Got It Goin’ On’!”

 

“Whoa, no way!” Nick cried.

 

“Yes way!  I’m in the car with my mom on her cell phone, and I just heard it!”

 

“Wow, that’s great!” Nick shouted, grinning from ear to ear.  I guess things really are getting better, he thought.

 

***

 

Time
 Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…

 

 

2045

 

Nick smiled as the familiar chorus played over the radio, filling the room with memories, both good and bad. 

 

And then, suddenly, as the bridge began to play, a familiar voice began to sing along with the radio.   Four pairs of eyes turned quickly to look at AJ, who had closed his eyes and begun to sing…

 

So here we are
And we’ll always stay together
And through it all you know
We owe it all to you, you, you and you

 

Nick, Kevin, Brian, and Howie stared at him, tears filling their eyes.  AJ could not even remember their names most of the time, and yet, he still remembered the words of this song, one they had all written together so many years ago, for their hit CD, Black and Blue.

 

As the chorus began again, they all joined in, singing…

 

Time
 Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may

 

Memories flooding his mind, filled with a mix of emotions, Brian finished the song.

 

Time, it goes on and on everyday
Time is what it is, come what may, come what may

 

 

The End

 

 

Lyrics taken from “Time”, written and performed by none other than the Backstreet Boys.

 

 

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Time Ó 2000 by Julie

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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