Time
Time
Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…
Brian
Littrell walked slowly down the hall of the nursing home. He stopped at the closed door of Room 103 and
got his emotions in check before he lightly knocked. This was something he had to do more and more
often, for these visits grew harder and harder as the time went by.
“Come
in,” called a voice he recognized as his cousin, Kevin Richardson’s.
Brian
slowly turned the knob and entered the room, stopping to take in the scene that
sat before him. Kevin and Brian’s best friend
of fifty two years, Nick Carter, sat in chairs on one side of the bed in the
center of the room. Howie Dorough,
another of Brian’s close friends, sat in a wheelchair on the other side of the
bed. And propped up in the bed was the
fifth member of their group, AJ McLean.
“Hey,
guys,” Brian said, smiling at them all.
Kevin, Howie, and Nick returned his smile, saying their hellos to
him. Then Brian stepped up to AJ’s bed. “Hey, AJ!” he said brightly. He studied AJ’s blank face carefully, looking
for some sign that his friend recognized him.
At the sound of his voice, AJ’s eyes met with Brian’s, but the look in
them was empty. Brian sighed. “It’s me, Brian. Remember?” he asked.
“Brian?”
AJ inquired, his voice low and raspy.
“Yeah. Brian Littrell. From the Backstreet Boys. Remember that, buddy?” Brian asked, hoping to
trigger AJ’s memory.
“Oh. Sure,” AJ mumbled, but Brian could tell that
AJ was just playing along. Really, Brian
was a stranger to him.
It
had been getting progressively worse for the past five years, ever since AJ had
first been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.
Some days, he was better than others.
Some days, he could carry on sensible conversations. Some days, he seemed to know who Brian and
the rest of them were. Other days, like
this one, he did not.
“Here,
Brian, sit down next to me,” said Howie from his wheelchair.
“Thanks,
D,” Brian replied, pulling up a chair and sitting down. “So, how have you been?”
Howie
shrugged. “Well, you know… some days are
better than others. I’m afraid today’s
not one of my good days.”
Brian
nodded sympathetically. Poor Howie had
suffered from arthritis for years, and it had progressed to the point where he
was unable to walk without the use of a walker, and on bad days, he even had to
use a wheelchair. This was one of those
days.
Brian’s
gaze flickered next to the two men sitting across from him, on the other side
of AJ’s bed. Nick and Kevin.
“So,
Frack, how ya been doin?” Brian asked.
“Pretty
good,” Nick replied. “I’ve been sticking
to my diet, getting exercise, and all that crap.”
He
rolled his eyes, and Brian chuckled.
“Good for you, man,” Brian said encouragingly, inside, relieved. In the past ten years, Nick had suffered
three heart attacks and had undergone a double bypass just the year
before. He was now on a strict diet and
exercise regimen to keep his cholesterol levels under control. He had been doing great for months, but Brian
still always worried about him.
Next,
Brian glanced at Kevin. A flicker of
sadness ran through him and he realized how gaunt and sickly Kevin looked. He was unbelievably thin, all the muscle he
had worked so hard for those many years ago gone. His gray hair and thick eyebrows were also
gone, making his appearance very different.
Like his father, Kevin was a victim to cancer.
“How
about you, Kev?” he asked. “How are you
feeling?”
“I’m
doin’ okay, Bri,” he replied, a smile brightening his gaunt, wrinkled
face. “I’m still in remission, and I’m
getting better every day.”
“That’s
great, cuz,” Brian said, grinning.
“So,
what about you? How have you been?”
Kevin asked.
“I’m
great,” Brian answered truthfully. It
was hard to believe, but despite all his past health problems, now, as a
seventy year old man, he was in perfect health, unlike the other four of his
former bandmates.
Kevin
watched Brian proudly. His cousin had
been through so much in his life, and yet, here he was, alive and well to tell
about it. Kevin’s thoughts drifted back
to a particularly trying time, the time when Brian had gone through open heart
surgery. It had been a hard time for all
of them…
***
And I know that we have had
some times
That we can’t forget the struggle
‘Cause we have so far to go…
1998
“Aunt Jackie!” Kevin called,
seeing his aunt, Brian’s mother, at the end of the hallway. He raced towards her, Nick, Howie, and AJ hot
on his heels. “How is he?” he asked
breathlessly.
Jackie smiled. “He’s out of surgery and doing just fine,”
she replied.
“That’s great,” Kevin said, his
nerves settling. He and the other three
guys had been so terribly worried about their friend and bandmate the whole way
to Rochester, Minnesota, where Brian’s heart surgery had just taken place.
They had been in Orlando,
Florida, performing at Disney’s Graduation Night, against their will. They had wanted to back out, insisting that
they needed to be by Brian’s side during this whole ordeal, but their managers,
Johnny and Donna Wright, as well as Lou Pearlman, a.k.a. Big Poppa, insisted
they perform. They had sang “Quit
Playing Games”, Howie taking over Brian’s solo at the beginning. But their hearts had not been in it. They had only wanted to get to Minnesota to
see Brian, to make sure he was okay.
Now that it was behind them, the
performance, the flight, and now, Brian’s surgery, things seemed much better,
much more under control. Kevin’s stress
level had lowered, his nerves had calmed, and he was focusing on one thing –
Brian.
“Come sit down with Harold and I
for a bit,” Jackie said. “You all will
be able to see Brian in a little while.”
“Okay,” Kevin said, leading the
others into a waiting room across the hall, where his uncle, Harold, and his
other cousin, Brian’s older brother, Harry, sat.
They all greeted the rest of
Brian’s family and sat down to wait.
Just a few minutes later, the
door to the waiting room slowly opened.
Kevin glanced up to see Brian enter the room, wearing a hospital gown
and slippers and wheeling an IV pole beside him.
Kevin was relieved to see Brian
up and about, but seeing him like that, hooked up to an IV made Kevin go
pale. It brought back too many memories
of his father’s death from cancer seven years earlier.
Kevin quickly pushed the
thoughts of his father to the back of his mind and smiled up at his cousin.
“Brian,” he said, tears rising
to his eyes, against his will.
“Hey, Kev,” Brian replied,
grinning. He made his way to the empty
seat next to Kevin and sat down.
“They sure get you back on your
feet quick around here, huh?” he asked, trying to make light of the situation.
Brian chuckled slightly. “Sure do,” he replied.
“So, how are you feeling?”
“Weak, tired. But okay,” Brian said. “Glad to be alive.”
Kevin nodded. He was glad too.
***
Time
Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…
2045
“Hey, AJ, you want me to turn on
the radio?” Nick asked.
“Radio? Okay…” AJ said absently.
Nick shrugged and turned on the
radio next to AJ’s bed. He knew how much
AJ liked to listen to music, even in his old senile state.
To his surprise, the sounds of
Brian’s voice rang through, as their old song, “Time”, played.
Nick smiled. He remembered when they had just been
starting out and how difficult things had been.
He remembered waiting just to hear their first song play on the radio…
***
I remember when mom used to
say
That things are getting better
And you’ll soon be on your way
Remember those days, that we would sing at the drop of a dime
Way back when nothing else mattered…
1995
“What’s the matter, honey?”
Nick’s mother, Jane, asked, seeing her son’s troubled expression.
“Aw, nothing, Mom,” he replied,
a surefire sign to her that something was wrong. She patiently waited for him to continue,
knowing that he would. “I dunno, it’s
just, we’ve been working so hard for these past two years, and it doesn’t seem
to be getting us anywhere.”
“Oh, Nicky,” she said, with a
sigh. “You have gotten somewhere.
Look how far you’ve come. Two
years ago, you didn’t even have a record deal, and now you have one and a song
out too.”
“Yeah, but no one likes it,”
Nick said, thinking of how unsuccessful “We’ve Got It Goin’ On” was at that
time. The radio stations weren’t even
playing it.
“Sweetheart, they will. Soon, everyone will hear it and realize how
great it is,” Jane insisted. “Things are
getting better, and soon, you’ll be on your way to fame.”
“I hope so,” Nick said. “That’s my dream.”
Their conversation was
interrupted by the phone ringing.
“Hello?” Nick answered, putting
the receiver to his ear.
“Nick, guess what!” came AJ’s
excited voice.
“What?” Nick asked curiously.
“They played our song!” AJ
shouted. “XL 106.7 played ‘We’ve Got It
Goin’ On’!”
“Whoa, no way!” Nick cried.
“Yes way! I’m in the car with my mom on her cell phone,
and I just heard it!”
“Wow, that’s great!” Nick
shouted, grinning from ear to ear. I guess things really are getting better, he thought.
***
Time
Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may…
2045
Nick smiled as the familiar chorus
played over the radio, filling the room with memories, both good and bad.
And then, suddenly, as the
bridge began to play, a familiar voice began to sing along with the radio. Four pairs of eyes turned quickly to look at
AJ, who had closed his eyes and begun to sing…
So here we are
And we’ll always stay together
And through it all you know
We owe it all to you, you, you and you
Nick, Kevin, Brian, and Howie
stared at him, tears filling their eyes.
AJ could not even remember their names most of the time, and yet, he
still remembered the words of this song, one they had all written together so
many years ago, for their hit CD, Black
and Blue.
As the chorus began again, they
all joined in, singing…
Time
Look where we are
And what we’ve been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may
Memories flooding his mind,
filled with a mix of emotions, Brian finished the song.
Time, it goes on and on
everyday
Time is what it is, come what may, come what may
The End
Lyrics taken from “Time”,
written and performed by none other than the Backstreet Boys.
Time Ó 2000 by Julie