Nick
drove down the roads of
Agent 008:
Intelligence has discovered a
terrorist group planning to infiltrate the international singing competition
known as Global Idol, which is being held at the MGM Grand Casino in
This message will self destruct in two
minutes.
He
nodded to himself and absently shoved the note in his pocket, speeding up as
the excitement rose within him with the knowledge that his first mission back
was in
"Wait,
did that thing say it would-?" Nick began to ask out loud before he
noticed a small fire burning a hole in his pants pocket. "Shit!" he exclaimed as he tried to
pat out the fire, taking a deep breath to calm himself down once the fire was
out. He then grabbed the steering wheel
immediately once he realized the car was swerving on the road.
Nick
again sped up his pace down the long stretch of road, finding himself wondering
several things. Why do they make
mission statements blow up? How
do they make mission statements blow up?
Do they put some sort of chemical in the paper or something? That sounds like the sort of thing that
He
wondered if Agent K had asked someone specifically to make his mission
statement blow up, knowing that Nick would put it in his pocket. That definitely
sounded like the type of thing K would do to him. Nick shook his head and tried to re-focus
himself on his mission.
He
figured he was making good time, so he decided to relax a bit and see what
other music
'One,
two, three, four, five
Everybody in the car, so come on
Let's ride to the liquor-store around the corner
The boys say they want some gin and juice
But I really don't wanna
Beerbust like I had last week
I must stay deep
Because talk is cheap
I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita
And as I continue you know
They're getting sweeter'
"What
the-" Nick said with a frown.
"Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega.
He hated this song.
'A
little bit of Monica in my life
A little bit of Erica by my side
A little bit of Rita is all I need
A little bit of Tina is what I see
A little bit of Sandra in the sun
A little bit of Mary all night long
A little bit of Jessica here I am
A little bit of you makes me your man'
"Oh
very funny, Pearl," Nick grumbled, trying to shut off the iPod, but to no
avail. He began to get frustrated with it
and threw it on the passenger's seat, only to have it bounce off and fall on
the floor. Nick worried that he might
have damaged it, causing it to permanently be stuck on this song, as opposed to
what he'd hoped was only a temporary trick being played at his expense. He quickly leaned over onto the passenger's
seat and began to frantically search for his iPod. He felt it under the seat and tried
desperately to pick it up.
"AHA!"
Nick exclaimed, sitting up and holding up his iPod triumphantly. "Oh shit! Again!" he shouted, grabbing the
steering wheel and once again trying to regain control of the car he'd
forgotten he was still driving. He was panting now, as all the excitement had
really gotten him riled up. The fact that the song was still playing didn't
help, either. Thankfully it stopped a
few seconds later, and at that point, Nick decided that he wasn't going to take
his eyes off the road or his hands off the steering wheel again until he
reached
± ± ±
The
drive ended about half an hour later, after another unfortunate incident with
the iPod and “Mambo #5;” seemed Pearl had programmed it to play not once or
twice, but three times during the drive.
Nick
would get her for that.
It
also destroyed his plan to keep his eyes on the road and his hands on the
wheel; in an attempt to improvise, he had even driven with his knees at one
point, one on the wheel and one on the stick shift.
But
that was all in the past. He opened the
car door quickly and brushed off his many near accidents. It was at that point he pulled the charred
mission paper from his back pocket, tossing it behind him casually as he shut
the car door.
“So
that’s why it took you so long to get here!” an excited and somewhat surprised
voice chirped.
Nick
froze stiffly, trying to avoid turning around.
Didn’t he know that voice?
“Never
mind… It’s just burnt paper…” the voice drawled
in an almost quizzical tone.
Nick
turned around abruptly and gave a quick glare.
“And what exactly were you thinking, Diamond?”
She
flashed him a quick smile before examining the paper and the car. “Well, that’s not the best way to use
He
brushed off her remark, if only to himself.
After all the time he had spent cooped up at Himitsu Takana, K had
finally given him a mission! And not
some bullshit mission either, a real mission.
He figured this was a reward for all the time he had spent balancing
pencils on his nose. (Five was the
record, by the way. How? It’s a secret. Fine…
Sticking the tips in the erasers of the other pencils. Good method, isn’t it?) Oh, and all the card houses he had made. They really impressed Diamond and Lancy; good
thing he’d found that super glue in the supply closet. And his dominoes experiment… Hadn’t gotten past Red, but somehow he would
get them to stay up. Maybe that was
another use for that super glue…
But
even after all that - although K didn’t know about the dominoes… yet - he had
actually gotten a real mission. He had
also gotten a new toy, but that was completely a coincidence.
Nick
puzzled over that a moment, then looked at the watch to get an answer. Oh wait… It didn’t tell time. He checked again anyway. But K had finally given him a mission, and
let him revel in the glory of having said mission. He had even burned his pants as a testament
to his happiness at having a mission.
And
yet, there was Diamond. Diamond, who
was… pressing herself against his new toy like a model in a car ad… Or the latest Playboy; he couldn’t really
remember. Of course, he only read
Playboy for the articles.
“…Wouldn’t
wear a bra….”
Nick
snapped back to attention. “What?”
Diamond
let out a sigh. “It figures
“Oh,
the car….”
Diamond
turned to Nick with a small grin and tousled his hair. “Not in public, sweetheart.”
“So
you’re staying then?” Nick was
attempting to bite back his anger, but it was slowly subsiding anyway.
Diamond
pulled out her phone and began typing on the keypad, barely acknowledging
Nick. “Would I honestly travel to Vegas
if I didn’t have to?”
“Second
job?”
She
continued typing. “While I would make an
excellent showgirl, that’s what I have you for.”
Nick
attempted to scowl but ended up forming some sort of pout. “How’d you get here so fast anyway?”
“HimTak
helicopter.”
“Helicopter?!” Nick stepped back and ended up slipping on a
puddle beside his car. He fell on his
back; water drops cascaded around him and covered his face.
“Yeah,
we got it a week ago… Was it raining?”
She sat in silence for a moment, then turned to where Nick had been
standing; it was at that point she looked down.
She pointed to her face. “Eyes up
here, huh?”
“Can’t
see that high up,” Nick smirked.
She
rolled her eyes and gave him a hand.
“Obviously you need glasses.”
He
took her hand and pulled himself up.
“Don’t they just make things bigger? Actually, that’s not a bad
suggestion….” He hid his smirk after
receiving Diamond’s death glare. “What
were you doing anyway?”
“I
was texting Lancy and telling him about your horrible outfit… Hold still,
huh?” She took a picture of the sopping
Nick and then continued pressing buttons on her phone. “I was also asking a friend to pick up my dry
cleaning, making a hair appointment, setting up a dinner date, and flirting
with another date.”
“Let
me see!” Nick stole her phone.
“Hey!”
Diamond squealed.
Nick
let out a low chuckle as he tossed her phone back. “Save some of that for me, huh?”
Diamond
grumbled and then noticed Nick’s pants hanging off his ass. It was like he was an attractive plumber…
which was an oxymoron at best. She began
laughing. “I take it that’s to impress
the ladies that fall on their back?”
“I’m
not wearing a dress or anything,” Nick grumbled as he pulled his pants up.
“Maybe
you should put some boxers on for me, huh?”
“Got
a preference?” He stuck out his tongue.
“Pink
with hearts!” Diamond laughed.
Nick
put a hand on Diamond’s butt.
“Sure. Let’s get a suite and
forget all this mission nonsense…” He
pulled Diamond toward him, placing a hand lightly against her upper thigh and
placing his face a few inches from hers.
“Remember when we went to the
Diamond
let out a low moan as she placed her hand on Nick’s neck.
Nick
leaned in to kiss her when he heard a loud popping sound. “What the hell?!” Nick turned toward the hood of the car, then
the trunk. He was surprised that the
trunk was open. “Did I open that?”
Diamond
leaned against the car and started texting on her phone again. “Good timing, ace.”
Nick
ran over to the trunk and looked at its contents. Road repair kit that he had no idea how to
use, a spare tire that he had no idea how to put on, medical toxins and cures
that he knew nothing about, and… bright pink boxers with hearts on them. Nick
pulled them up and ran to Diamond, shoving them in her face. “What are these?”
Diamond
held out her phone and took a picture as a smile spread across her face. “God answered my request!”
A
scowl crossed Nick’s face. “Damnit
Pearl!!!!”
± ± ±