The Birth of the First
Backstreet Baby
On November
26th all five Backstreet Boys were in the Littrell home having a small kind of
Thanksgiving celebration of their own. Usually Brian’s mother, Jackie would’ve
invited them all to her home in
The turkey had
just been placed on the dining room table when Brian called to Nick and AJ, who
were just getting into “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”, that dinner was
ready. Apparently the two had decided to race each other to see who would get
there first. The winner would get the chance to make the turkey dance
exotically across the table with the candle sticks as its ‘Stripper pole.’ Just
as Nick was rounding the corner, about to win the title of ‘Turkey Stripper,’
he began sliding in a large puddle like something out of a cartoon - his legs
betrayed him, and he landed with a loud thud as he smacked into the wall.
“Son of a
bitch!” He hissed, gently rubbing a forming red knot on the side of his head.
“Who the hell forgot to let the dogs out?”
“Dude, since
when did you guys get German Shepards?” AJ asked,
eyeing the abnormally large puddle on the floor.
“What?” Brian
asked, confusion masked on his face. “We don’t have German Shepards!
Tyk and Litty are far too
small for -”
“That’s a
lotta piss for such little dogs...” Kevin commented.
“Well, someone
pissed,” Nick said, attempting to get off the floor safely. “And it sure as
hell wasn’t me.”
“It was me!”
Leighanne called with a gasp.
“Ew! Brian do
you have to let your wife out like the dogs or something?” Nick asked as he
evaluated the wetness absorbed into his jeans.
“What? No!
Leighanne, you didn’t -” Brian began.
“Her water
broke you jackasses!” Howie hissed angrily, throwing his hands up in the air.
“Her water
broke?” Nick asked, his nose scrunched up in confusion. “Water can’t break.
It’s genetic makeup doesn’t allow it to...”
Kevin laughed
to himself, “Genetic makeup...of water? Who left the Discovery
Channel on? Nick‘s pretending like he knows something again!”
“Oh!
Leighanne’s water broke!” Brian exclaimed, jumping up in excitement. “I’ll get
your stuff baby, you get out to the car. I’ll get you to the hospital
immediately!” Brian yelled excitedly, sliding in the large puddle as he made
his way upstairs to retrieve some of Leighanne’s things. It took a moment for
reality to set in with the others. They each watched her walk (or waddle
rather) through the dining room - careful not to slip in the puddle - and out
the door.
“So, she’s
having the baby?” Nick asked.
“When a
woman’s water breaks, that means she’s having a baby, right?” AJ questioned.
“You guys are
losers. Remind me never to talk to you ever again.” Howie muttered.
“Do you think
we oughta go with them to the hospital?” Kevin asked.
Before any of
them had a moment to answer, Brian slid back into the room, carrying a small
suitcase of his wife’s belongings. “C’mon guys - get your asses in gear; she’s
having Brian Junior right now!” He had no sooner said it and he was out the
door.
“Should we?”
AJ asked, pondering his next move carefully. “Women get mighty pissy when in
labor.”
“True.” Howie
added.
“Let’s go.
This is, after all, the first Backstreet baby...this is history guys.” Kevin
reminded them.
“All right;
let’s go then.” AJ said, heading quickly for the door. Kevin and Howie followed
quickly after him, the door still open waiting for Nick’s exit.
Nick looked at
the door, at the turkey, the door, and then back at the turkey one final time
before his stomach grumbled. “This isn’t the time for you to start this stuff,”
he said aloud, trying to convince his stomach that it could wait until the baby
was born. “You can wait until he’s out of there before you start this,” he
heard the horn of Brian’s car beeping at him furiously. “Aw hell,” he said,
throwing his hands in the air in defeat. Quickly he grabbed the still warm
turkey from the table and headed for the door.
He was
squished in the back seat with Kevin, Howie and AJ, as well as the
tasty-smelling turkey. “What’s that smell?” Brian asked, pulling out of the
driveway quickly.
“My stomach
was bitching at me, so I decided to bring the turkey with us.”
“The whole
thing?!?” Kevin asked, eyeing the pleasant-looking butterball before him.
“Yup. Whole
thing,” he said, taking a large bite of one of the legs he’d ripped off the
carcass.
“Gimme some!”
Kevin growled, extending a hand in hopes of a decent portion.
“Gotta ask
nicely.”
“Dammit Nick!”
“No meat for
you!” Nick growled, in his best ‘Soup Nazi’ impersonation from Seinfeld.
“Gimme a damn
leg, Carter!”
Leighanne
screamed all of a sudden, causing the back seat to fall silent for a moment. It
seemed to everyone else that the scenery was going by just a little faster than
normal... How fast was Brian going?!?
Growling, Nick
ripped off the other leg and handed it to Kevin. He took a bite. “Damn, this
bird is flippin’ awesome! You did a great job, Leigh.”
She probably
would’ve heard him, had she not been screaming again.
“We’re almost
there sweetie. Hold on Brian Junior - keep your ass in there for a few more
minutes!” AJ couldn’t help but laugh at how frequently Brian spoke to their
soon-to-be-born son.
The tires
squealed violently as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He
slammed on the breaks in a handicapped parking spot, quickly turning off the
ignition and hopping out of the car faster than anyone before. “C’mon guys -
get out!” He called, scurrying over to the passengers’ seat to help his wife
into the building. She was waddling so slowly, Brian just said to hell with it,
and carried her the entire way into the hospital. The other five (counting the
partially eaten bird) made their way into the hospital a safe two feet behind
the worried man and his screaming wife.
“She’s in
labor!” Brian called out in an attempt to draw attention to them in the
hospital. Attention was already drawn though. How can doctors and nurses not
stare at four men gathered around a plate of turkey and a screaming man
carrying a screaming pregnant woman?
A nurse with a
wheelchair came over to them immediately. Brian put Leighanne in the wheelchair
and the nurse showed them back to the room. The turkey eaters quickly followed
close behind so as not to get lost. As they were about to walk into the room
with the soon-to-be parents, the nurse stopped them. “Can I help you boys?”
“We’re with
them,” Nick pointed, his mouth full of turkey.
“How about you
boys stay out in the waiting room? Your friend can call you back to see the
baby when its born.”
“Okay,” they
agreed, heading towards the waiting room.
Kevin, AJ, and
Howie sat in a row of chairs, facing the television while Nick sat on the floor
rummaging through some magazines. Only two other people were in the waiting
room. A little boy probably the age of six or seven, and his father, an older
man with a salt and pepper beard.
Nick stared up
at the TV for a moment, chewing the remnants of turkey still lingering inside
his mouth. “You seen ‘Harry Potter‘?” He asked.
The small boy
turned to face him, “Which one?”
“First one.”
“Yeah - only
like a bazillion times!”
“It any good?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Dude,” Nick
began, taking another bite of the nearly cold turkey. “I was in the middle of
it when my friend’s baby decided it was time to leave his home of nine months.
Why do babies choose the worst times to make an entrance?”
“All that’s on
in here is a Cartoon Network marathon,” explained the little boy.
“What
cartoon?” Nick asked, wide-eyed.
“Coyote and
Roadrunner.”
“That
sucks....Coyote’s so stupid. All the money he spends trying to get the
Roadrunner, you’d think the jackass could afford a Big Mac or something.”
“Did you just
say a potty word?”
“Huh?” Nick
asked, burping loudly. “Hey,” he said, resting a hand on his full tummy. “You
want some turkey?”
“My mom told
me not to take candy from strangers,” stressed the little boy.
“You’ve been
talking to me for a few minutes now, so technically I’m not a stranger.
And plus, this is turkey - it’s definitely not candy.”
“Nick,” Kevin
scolded. “Leave that little kid alone!”
He scowled and
decided to watch cartoons with his new friend.
An hour and a
half later Howie was asleep, drooling on a National Geographic magazine he had
been reading, AJ was stifling another persistent yawn and Kevin was trying to
follow along with the Coyote’s ‘Nick-ish’ antics, as he called them.
Just then
Brian burst into the room in excitement. “It’s a boy!” He screamed, almost very
literally jumping up and down.
“We know
that...you told us months ago.” Nick reminded him.
“He’s cute -
looks just like me!”
Kevin couldn’t
hold back his laughter at that.
“C’mon guys -
you gotta see him!” The others got up and followed Brian into the room where
Leighanne was holding their newborn son.
“Have you guys
decided on a name?” AJ asked.
“Yeah, Bailey
Thomas Littrell.”
“I thought for
sure he was Brian Junior...I mean, you referred to him as that for the last
nine months...” Kevin chuckled.
“Yeah, but
Leigh went through hell, so I decided to let her name him.”
“Fair enough,”
Howie agreed, stepping into the room.
They all stood
there for a while, just admiring the baby. None of them had ever seen Brian
smile so widely before...
“Hey, Nick,”
Brian called.
Nick turned
around and walked towards the door where Brian was standing. “Yeah?”
“Will you go
tell the nurse out there the name we’ve chosen?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Okay, it’s
Bailey Thomas Littrell. Remember that, okay?”
“All right,”
he replied.
“Do you know
how to spell it and everything?”
“Yeah, yeah.
Don’t worry.” He said, exiting the room. Nick walked towards the nurse he’d
become semi-familiar with. “My friend wanted me to relay the message of his
son’s name.”
“Oh, okay.
C’mon over to the desk and we’ll write it down for his birth certificate.” Nick
complied, following her to the desk. “What name have they chosen?” She asked,
taking out a pen.
Nick sighed
heavily, still wishing Brian would’ve taken his advice and named his son Hank.
Oh, well, he thought to himself. Just then, his light bulb began to flicker -
and he got an idea! “Bailey Thomas Wylee Littrell,”
he said.
“Any special
spelling for Bailey?”
Nick thought
to himself, not really sure how to spell it. “Um...B-A-Y-L-E-E.”
“Thomas,” she
said to herself. “And then...what was it?”
“Wylee. Like the coyote.... W-Y-L-E-E.”
“And the last
name was...?”
“Littrell;
L-I-T-T-R-E-L-L.”
“Okay,
thanks,” she said, smiling to him.
Nick turned on
his heels and walked back into the room where everyone else was at. “So, how’d
it go?” Kevin asked skeptically.
“Why’re you asking?” Nick huffed. “I just told the lady what
to write down. No biggie.”
“As long as
you didn’t name him Hank or something...” AJ reminded him.
Brian’s eyes
widened. “You didn’t! You wouldn’t!”
“No and no
again.”
“Just Bailey
Thomas Littrell, right? Nothing else...?” Brian asked.
A sly smile
crept up onto Nick’s face. “Well, there was this idea that like, just popped
into my head!”
“And what was
that?!?” Brian frantically asked.
“Well, see,
there’s this cartoon -”
“Oh my God....you
didn’t!” Brian gasped.
“Well, I kept
Bailey Thomas, and the Littrell part. But I added another middle name.”
“And it was?”
Kevin urged.
“Please not
Hank...please not Hank,” Brian repeated in a whisper under his breath.
“No; Not Hank,
but Wylee.”
“Wy-what?” Howie asked.
“Wylee. Ya know, like Coyote and Roadrunner. Wylee Coyote.”
“I cannot
believe this,” Brian said, sighing to himself. “You named my son after a cartoon
character!”
“Well,
initially I did want to name him after us, but you said no...so I thought,
‘what else would sound cool’, and this is cool.”
“Hey, Brian,
look on the bright side, your son could’ve been named Kahb...”
AJ laughed.
“HEY!”
Nick called in an angry tone. “I’m naming my son that! None of you better steal
it either!”
“Oh believe
me...we won’t!” They all said in unison.
***
