Chapter 61
As
Ciara stepped up on the porch, she couldn’t believe
the sweat seeping out of her hands. Why was she so nervous to be here? Probably
knowing he now shared a home with Mandy. Yep, yep. Had to be it. But, he’d
invited her to come see. His house. His accomplishment. His pride. Lifting a
shaky hand to the large, white wooden door, she finally knocked.
The
door slowly opened and a tuft of blonde hair with shimmering blue eyes peeked
around it. “Welcome to my home.” The worst Dracula imitation she’d ever heard.
“You’re
a geek.” She stepped inside and bopped him on the butt. “Hey…I have a bone to
pick with you, my dear.”
“Oh
no…what…”
“Wait
just a fuckin’ minute…Nick! Look at me!”
He
turned back from closing the door and smiled, arms open wide. “Yes?”
“Your
hair!!!!!!! Nick! It’s all gone!” Damn it all to hell and he looked….holy shit.
He was incredible.
“You
like?” He fluffed the short do out, still not sure himself if he liked it or
not. But he needed to do it. A new leaf. He’d cleaned up. Strengthened up.
Talked it out and straightened out. So, a new house, a new do, a new outlook on
life. 2000 was going to be a VERY good year. He could feel it.
“Yeah…I…”
she reached up and ran her fingers through it. Still silky. Still soft and
cool. Still Nick. But look at the beautiful man…yes…MAN that came out from
under the long locks he’d been sporting. My goodness. Was Mandy home? “You look
beautiful.”
That
made him downright blush. Beautiful? Yeah, cute…he’d been called cute. “The
cute one”. Barf. But to have the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen call
HIM beautiful? Man… Shaking out of the strange place she’d just taken him, he
pulled her in to see the full of the house. “You said you had a bone to pick
with me?” Looking down at the rolled up magazine in her hand, he had a hunch.
Uh-oh. “What’s this?”
“Rolling
Stone, Mr. My-Jacket-Is-So-Long-You-Can’t-See-My-Stunning-Thighs.” She unrolled
the magazine and smacked his de-pants-ed image staring back at her. “What’s up
with that, huh?”
“Oh,
yeah…that. God, I still can’t believe we did it.”
“I
can’t either, but you need to flash those thighs, baby….they’re…” She dropped
the magazine on the pool table and slinked up next to him. “…mmm…yeah…” Rubbing
her hand up and down his leg, keeping them just shy of his inner thigh, “…you
need to show ‘em off more.”
“Maybe
I was just savin’ ‘em up for you.”
“Ah,
yeah, must be it.” With a quick grab to his crotch she turned and walked away,
leaving him totally turned on and as usual when she got flirty…frustrated. “So,
do I get a tour of this place, or not, huh?”
“You
are evil.”
“Yes,
I am…come on…show me around.”
******~~~~~~*******~~~~~~
“Heya,
Puppy!” Ciara sat back on the chaise, letting the pug
jump up in her lap. “Have I mentioned how thrilled I am you have smaller dogs?”
“Yeah,
you kinda bring it up every time I see you. Here’s your drink.”
“Thanks.”
Rubbing noses with the dog, she had to giggle. Ugliest damned things, but they
were so loveable. “What’s this one’s name again? They all look the same to me.”
“That’s
Willy. Mandy’s dog.”
“Ah…get
down. Shoo.” Kicking back completely in her lounge chair, she heaved a sigh.
“This is beautiful, Nick. You done good.”
“Thanks.
I like it. Can’t wait ‘til it warms up a bit more and we can swim.”
“You
might be able to before the tour starts back up, huh?”
“Maybe…depends
on the weather. It’s heated, so I guess I could now. I just can’t believe this
is all mine, Ci.”
“All
yours, baby…it’s great. Although…your decorating. Nick…”
“Mom.”
“Mom?
You talking again?”
“Yeah.
Part of ‘getting better’. She’s not my best friend or anything, but…yeah, we’re
working it out.”
“This
can only be a good thing. She okay with Mandy now?”
“No.
But she’s really not in control of that part of my life. None of her business.”
“No,
I suppose it’s not. So, how is Mandy? Where is she today anyway?” Little wench.
Even if she and Nick weren’t sleeping together, Ciara
knew she’d have a strong distaste for the girl. Knowing she’d hit Nick…and led
him down whatever horrendous path she had led him. Nope. The girl was no good.
Maybe with Nick’s new outlook he’d think being alone was a good change to make
as well.
“Laying
down some more tracks for her demo.”
“And
you’re not there with her?”
“Nope.
She won’t let me. Wants to do this on her own…sorta.”
“You
think she’ll make it, Nick? Tough as hell market.”
Nick
ran a hand through his hair and looked out to the bay, choosing his words
carefully. “She has talent. If she does make it, she deserves it. Nice voice,
decent writing skills…needs some work, but yeah. She just has to…she needs to…”
“Get
away from you to do it.”
“Yep.
And she’s not willing to completely break from that. She’s associated with me
too much and this tour is just going to make it worse.”
“How’s
that?”
He
finally looked back to her, not sure of the reaction he’d see. “She’s opening
for us, Ci.”
He
had to be kidding. “Who’s idea was that!?” Talk about a career killer. Hers and
his.
“Um…her
management, we agreed. We’re already regretting it.”
“The
fans are going to have a shit fit, Nick. They hate her!”
“They
hate her because she’s with me. They’d hate you too if they knew.”
“They’d
accept me because I’m a secret against her.”
“Possibly.
They don’t ever approve of anyone we’re with, Ci.”
“It’s
not all about being with you and you know it. They suspect she beat you…they
don’t think you’re happy.”
“They
don’t know me.”
“They
know you better than you think, Nick. Can she even handle what’s out there?”
“She’s
strong.”
“She’s
young. Younger than you, Nick and definitely less seasoned.”
“She’ll
manage. We’ll be okay.”
They
stopped talking for awhile, both stewing on their conversation. They both knew
it was a mistake and they both knew there was nothing that could be done about
it now. Nick had set himself up in a trap yet again. When was he going to get
some direction from someone not interested in the bottom line…someone who could
steer him on the right path? Obviously it wasn’t going to be any time soon.
Whoever came up with this brilliant plan needed to have their head examined.
Taking
a swallow of her drink, she looked over to him and had to smile. Can’t stay
exasperated with him for long. His hair was blowing in the bay breeze and he
simply looked stunning. So grown up. Now completely a man. Ready to turn 20 and
at least from his demeanor, ready to conquer the world. As he should be. “Can I
ask you a question?”
“Yep.”
“Do
you love her?”
Back
to the view of the bay. He couldn’t look at Ciara and
even think about his heart and Mandy. Too damned complicated. What the hell was
love anyway? Actually…that would be an accurate answer. “I don’t know what love
is, Cici. Do you?”
“Not
so sure, no.”
“Does
it bother you that I’m still with her? I mean…it’s never been something we’ve
really talked about, you know?”
“I
don’t like her and I definitely don’t trust her, if that’s what you mean.”
“Well,
I figured that. If it makes any difference, we’re getting along better. Fights
don’t end up physical.”
“Glad
to hear it. I still don’t like her.”
“What
about…I mean, I’m with you and I’m not. I’m with her…and I’m definitely not.
Yet, you seem okay with that.”
“Look,
I’m seeing someone myself, Nick. I can’t be that for you…hell, for anyone. What
we have…I don’t want to lose it. You’re a helluva lot of fun, and our history
is something I treasure. But truthfully, if the rest of our relationship
stopped today…the sex? I’d live. I just can’t be without YOU. Does that make
sense?”
“Perfect
sense.” Or so he thought. For some reason, today he was so unsettled about
them. His feelings for her were getting to the point of ‘unexplainable.’ He
didn’t want to be left hung out to dry though. “Yeah…so, uh…who’s the guy?”
“Someone
you’d not approve of.”
“No?
Why not?” He got up and pushed her feet to the side so he could join her on the
lounge. He had to be near her. Had to touch her.
“Cuz
you wouldn’t…”
“Cici…come on…out with it. Is it serious?” Yuck. Jealousy
sucked.
“No.
Yes. No. It can’t be. I’m um…playing it safe.”
Okay,
now he was completely curious. “You’ve never played anything safe in your life,
Ciara.”
“Well,
I always do with my heart, Nick. Always. That’s probably why I’m still alone.”
Damn,
he hated this. Why couldn’t he just be a few years older? A few more years into
his career so he could make some decisions for himself and consider…why was
this so screwed up? He could make her happy, and he knew it. He wasn’t afraid
of anything when she was around. “Okay…what’s his name then?”
“Dennis.
Nurse in the ER. Um…yeah.”
“Does
he treat you right?”
“You
have no room to talk, Nick.”
“I
told you that’s over. I mean, we fight like dogs, but…no hitting. Done. Does he
treat you right, Ci?”
“Yes…”
“But?”
Ciara leaned forward, resting her head on
his shoulder and rubbed his stomach. This was too awkward. How did she get
herself into this mess? “But…Nick, he’s married, okay? Married and almost 40
and…there. Now you know.”
Grabbing
her hand and pushing her off of him, he bore his eyes into her. How could she
do this kind of thing again? “Married!!!!!!!??????? CIARA! What the hell are
you doing!? Again!”
“Having
fun. He treats me right like you say. I don’t have to commit to him because he
can’t commit to me and…he helps me around the house…and it works.”
“Nice.
So is that why it works for us, Ci?” He stood up and
started pacing the deck. Maybe he got it now. “I feel a need for you? He’s your
little work man? And I’m…I’m your little toy?”
“Stop
it. That’s not how it is, and you know it.”
“Mmmm…”
“Nick.”
She stood and caught up to his pacing, turning him to her and taking his face
in her hands. “I can’t make sense of this. To you or to myself. But until you
can explain Mandy to me, I’m not even going to try to explain Dennis to you.”
Well
that one hurt. Foul play. He looked down, taking her hands in his, knowing that
one was just as whacked out as hers. “Okay, fine. What about you and me, then?
Can you explain that?”
“Didn’t
we just cover this, honey? You’re my Nick. You’ve always been and whether I’m
in your bed or not you always will be. And somehow, no matter how exasperated
you get with me, I think…”
“I
feel the same. Yeah…I do.”
“I’m
attracted to you.” Hell yes, she was…he was beautiful. “Amazingly so, and that
still weirds me out if I think about it. So I don’t.
I just enjoy it. I think you and I have something really odd and really
wonderful. But more than anything, your friendship…your presence in my life is
what matters to me.”
He
nodded and took her face in his hands now, leaning in for a kiss. “I’m sorry. I
just…I wish it could be more is all.”
“So
do I, hon…but right now…”
“It
can’t. Is it okay if I’m jealous of this dude?”
“Yep.
I don’t hate Mandy just because she’s a little imp, you know.”
Nick
did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out at her, pulling her in for a hug.
Yep, no matter how they sliced it, they needed each other. Maybe if he played
his cards right, it’d work out some day. And if not, then he’d sure have a
great time along the way.
******~~~~~~******~~~~~~
“Niiiiiiiiiiccccccckkkkkkk!!!!!!!! Wake uppppppp!”
“Who
the hell?” Nick sat up from his previously delightful slumber and held the
phone closer to his ear. “Who is this!?”
“I’m
insulted. It’s Ciara you sleepy head. I can’t believe
you’re still in bed.”
“Ciara…” looking at the clock he groaned and got out of bed
lest he wake Mandy. “…it’s
“Shit
night at work and I can’t sleep. Do you know what was announced this morning?”
“Uh,
if you give me two cups of coffee and a shower I might remember, why?” God, she
was perky after 12 hours of work.
“I’d
love to give you a shower.”
“Mmmm…that
would definitely wake me up, but I think we’d have a pissed off housemate.”
“Probably…come
on. Nick. Think. Think hard. Announcement. January…”
“I
dun wanna think, Cici…please just tell me.” He’d
stumbled into the kitchen and was trying to think hard enough just to put a pot
of coffee on and undo the pre-programmed timer. Too much brain power required.
“Ugh,
you’re no fun. Grammy’s Nick. The Grammy nominations were this morning.”
“Oh,
Jesus…yeah…that’s right. Um…do I ask?”
“Nick,
sit down.”
He
obediently did, scratching his belly and grateful a chair happened to be below
his bent hips. He’d have probably just plopped on the floor. “Sitting.”
“Five.”
“Five.
Five what?”
“Five
nominations, Nick….you guys got FIVE noms, baby!”
“WHAT!?
No fucking way!” No fucking way! Five? The industry hated them! Called them
manufactured, bubble-gum, drivel…no way! “Which ones?”
“I
don’t even remember. Um, song, record, album, pop vocals, pop song I think…I
can’t even remember.”
“Holy
shit…record?”
“I
think, Nick…you’ll have to…hasn’t anyone called you yet?”
Just
as the question popped out of her mouth, his cell phone rang. “Uh…yeah…I think
they just did. Hang on.”
Sure
enough it was Kevin. Hung up from that and it was Brian. Five Grammy
nominations. No way had they anticipated this. No way in the world. “Okay, Cici, I’m back. Sorry.”
“No
problem. You good?”
“I’m
great…first the comic book thing is working out, now this! Ciara….”
“Yes,
honey…dreams really do come true.” For some anyway. Good for him. He deserved
every dream he had.
“Yeah,
they do, huh?”
“You
go back to bed…I just wanted to say congratulations.”
“I
can’t sleep now, but thanks. I’m glad you’re the one who told me.”
“Me
too…I’m proud of you, Nick. You’ve come a long way.”
“Thanks
to you…yeah. We’ll talk soon.”
******~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~
“So,
I’ll see you right before you leave for LA, huh?”
“Yeah,
you bringing Deanna to that show?”
“Yep.
And uh…” Ciara twirled her finger around the light
hair on his chest, looking up to him. “…I still need tickets.”
“Of
course. Not too close, right?”
“Right.”
“Deal.
I’ll just have ‘em at will call for you.” He pulled her naked body in for a
hug, knowing this was their last time together until this tour ended. About six
weeks. Too damned long. Oh, he’d see her, but…this? Nope. None of this until he
got back home he was sure. Sucked.
“You
nervous about this leg? Knowing that…well, whatever was keeping you going
before isn’t anymore?”
How
did she know? Why wouldn’t she just come out and say it? Maybe she didn’t?
Whatever riddles she was speaking in, Nick decided to leave it a riddle. Unless
she asked, he wasn’t going to tell. He couldn’t handle the disappointment she’d
have toward him. Hell, she might walk. Couldn’t deal with that. Nope. So, he’d
answer vaguely as well. “Yeah, a little. Honestly I’m more nervous about the
fan’s reaction to Mandy. It’s weird. Changed her hair, name…like they’re not
going to know any different.”
“Some
will be fooled, but not many Nick. It’s not going to be easy.”
“Yeah,
I know…she’ll make it.”
“If
this is what she wants for her life, she has no choice.”
No
more words. Just the touch of skin on skin, still swimming in the fulfillment
of another incredible tryst together. The way their bodies worked together
amazed them both. No man read her as well as he did, and she felt like she
could please no man like she did him. It had to be their history, their inner
connection. The one that neither would really allow to blossom. What would
happen if they did? It scared them. It tantalized them. It kept them going when
they were apart.
And
now it was time for that to begin again. They reluctantly pulled from each
other’s arms and got dressed, saying little, feeling much. Walking him to the
door, she fell into his arms once again for yet another good-bye. She’d never
get used to these. But it was part of the territory. And if it meant having him
around at all, she’d willingly do it again and again.
***
