Chapter 68

As he drove through the streets of Tampa, Nick’s mind was filled with the memory of the day before. Thank God for Deanna and her brilliant ideas. He was on his way to complete Dee’s thought process.

He had been in Marathon for well over a week, thinking, mulling, planning and honestly? Pouting. Fortunately, his mom didn’t take kindly to pouting, which is one reason he’d headed home. Aaron was done with his tour and he could go be normal with him for awhile and Mom would keep him grounded. As grounded as Jane was capable of anyway. He also had to talk to her about Ciara. Not just about what had just happened between them, but about his mother’s attitude with the whole thing. He as relieved to find that she’d thought about Ciara’s words to her only weeks ago and had changed her song. That much was worked out anyway.

And then there was the mess with his career. His whole working future lay in the balance right now and here he was nursing a broken, confused heart. As much as he hated to admit it, right now his mom’s drive with that was a good thing. Helped him stay focused on the career, working on his heart only now and again. Thing was, he was realizing that he couldn’t make decisions on one without it affecting the other. It was a good thing to see though. No matter how you try, you can’t compartmentalize life. Every action you take affects the other people in your life.

And now, Deanna’s action of the night before caused a reaction in Nick. It got him off his ass, in the car and driving the many hours back to Tampa. He didn’t care. He could have taken a plane, but the long drive might do him some good. Besides, he was being chased by panic. The sound in her voice haunted him.

“Nick! Thank God, you’re answering.”

He’d just taken off his pants to pull on his swim trunks for an afternoon out on the boat with Aaron, when his pocket rang. “Who is this?” Jesus, more fans. Tossing his pants on the bed, he sat down along side them wondering why he never bothered to change his number.

“I’m sorry to bug you, Nick. It’s Dee. Ciara’s friend.”

“Oh…hi, Dee. Is she okay?” Oh shit.

“Well, yes…and no.”

“No?”

“She’s okay, but she needs you. She just won’t admit it.”

“What the hell else is new?”

“Well, nothing along those lines, but…Nick, she was in a car accident this morning.”

“Oh God…” Grabbing his pants back off the bed, he slid them back on. He knew where he was going today and it was not out on a boat. He was going back to Tampa.

“It’s okay. I mean, her car’s totaled…seriously, but she’s alright. They just kept her overnight because of all of her other stuff. Wanted to keep an eye on her sugar and all from the stress, and…”

“…and?”

“Well, they think she had an insulin reaction while she was driving.”

“Oh…no, no, no. That’s NOT good.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know any more details, but Nick? She’s expecting me to pick her up at the pull-around tomorrow at 11.”

“Nope. I’m there.”

Deanna sighed, hoping that’s what he’d choose to do. “Good. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll make a few calls, see if I can get a flight, but I’ll probably just drive it.”

“Be careful…she’ll be expecting me, remember.”

“Right…I’ll be gentle.”

“Good luck.”

“I might need it.”

And he was gone. A quick stop by Mom and Dad’s to explain and he took off. He fought every urge inside him not to stop by the hospital that night, but figured Deanna’s plan was best. Literally trap her. Sounded horrible, but if it worked, it worked.

So, now it was morning and he was almost there. He could barely keep his hands on the steering wheel from all the sweat coming out of them. What if she fought him right there? Maybe she was too weak from the accident it’d be okay? How bad was this anyway? And if it was an insulin reaction that caused it, what did it mean for her future driving? She could be a mess from that alone.

Seeing the sign for the hospital, he had to literally tell himself to breathe. He knew this moment was a make or break one. He had to play it right and had to trust whatever gods were in control of the moment to be working for him and not against him. The way things had been going lately, he wasn’t so sure he could do that.

He wasn’t surprised she didn’t want Dee coming upstairs to help her get ready, anymore than he wasn’t surprised that she didn’t want her family involved. So damned independent. He loved it about her. It exasperated the hell out of him.

The pull-around was full as this was a busy time to release patients. Patiently waiting his turn to approach, he spotted her.

Every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again.
Baby, I can’t help it, you keep me drowning in your love.

She was still in a wheel chair escorted by an aide. Fortunately, she was deeply involved in a book, so he could approach without her knowing. As he brought the car near her, he rolled his window down and got the attention of the aide without Ciara looking up. Signaling for her to remain quiet, he got out of his car and opened the passenger door. Finally, he cleared his throat, pulling her attention from her book.

If he’d have had a camera, he would have used it right there. He never wanted to forget the look on her face as she looked up to him. Relief. Shock. Love. Joy. And yes, even a little fear.

“Nick!?”

He said nothing as he walked away from the open door and offered his hand to help her up from the wheel chair. “Get in.”

Remembering how those two simple words had changed their lives only months ago, she couldn’t help but smile. ‘Get in?’ They both knew exactly what that meant now.

She took his hand and stood, grimacing as pain shot through her abdomen, chest and hips. Nothing major, just tender from the seat belt, steering wheel, and her run of the mill daily aches and pains. He wrapped an arm gently around her and helped her into the car, smiling as the aide handed him her bag of belongings. “Take care of her, Nick.”

“Thanks. I plan on it.”

He reached in and buckled up her belt, still not saying a word. There really was nothing to say right now anyway. Words…were just words. It was time for action. As he slid into his seat, he was surprised to see her face buried in her hands. Sobbing. Why was she crying? Should he reach out or just let her work through whatever was wracking her up so?

He chose middle ground and simply rested his hand on her thigh, quietly pulling the car away from the hospital into the main road. She cried a large part of the ride to her home, never speaking, never really acknowledging his presence. It was confounding, but he was relieved he had come. She wasn’t fighting him away. Wasn’t pushing him or telling him to go. This had to be good.

As he pulled into her driveway and jogged up to punch in her code, she finally gathered her wits and helped herself out of the car.

Again, no words were exchanged, but she let him come in, let him help her get her jacket off and finally, finally looked to him.

Every time I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love
Baby, I can’t help it, you keep me drowning in your love.

“You came back.”

“Yep. I came back.” Seeing the large contusion on her head just at the hair line, he tentatively reached up to touch it. “You did it up good this time, Cici.”

“I know…I really did, huh?” Looking back down, she was suddenly embarrassed at the whole thing. Her memory of the accident had been coming back to her in bits and pieces and a witness even stopped by the hospital to check on her. When she heard what really happened, she seriously wondered if she’d ever have the strength to drive again. It was awful.

“You wanna go lay down? I’ll fix you something to eat or drink or whatever.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

He took her hand and led her upstairs, getting the bed ready as she changed into one of his old t-shirts. “You want the TV on?”

“No…are you gonna come up and sit with me?”

“If that’s what you want, yes.”

“That’s what I want.” She couldn’t explain much right now, but that much was easy. She never wanted to be without him again.

“What do you want to eat?”

“You know what sounds perfect?”

“A peanut butter sandwich?”

“You know me well….”

Without a word, he leaned down to kiss her, sighing inside as his lips touched her cheek, realizing how afraid he had been that he’d never feel her skin again. “Like no one else, Ci.”

“Make it your best one yet, okay?”

“Yep…you need any meds?”

“No, took everything at the hospital. Oh, my insulin pouch. Insulin’s in the frig. Need a bottle with an “N” on it.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” One more kiss and he was gone, closing the door behind him.

Ciara sat quietly in the room, brightened by sunlight beaming through her open blinds, wondering what all of this meant. Obviously Dee had taken a gander at her cell numbers before bringing her phone yesterday. There was no other way for him to have known. So, was it guilt that brought him back or did he really want to be here? Right now, she hurt too much to even want the truth. He was here and that was all that mattered.

Hearing the muffled sounds of him working in the kitchen, walking across the floor, talking to the cat warmed her heart, soothed her aching joints and muscles. Just like he had always been for her, he was again proving himself to be a healing salve, a soothing balm. What would she do if this was just a guilt trip? What would she do without him in her life?

“Okay, here we go. Peanut butter sammich, heavy on the pb, found some diet root beer, a couple of slices of cantaloupe, insulin stuff and your mail. Need anything else?”

“You. Just you.”

“I’m right here, Cici…not goin’ anywhere.”

As he helped her get situated, propping her pillows under her, he set the tray over her legs and sat next to her in the bed.

“You gonna eat anything?”

“I munched while I fixed yours. I’m good.”

He watched as she prepared her shot and never took his eyes off of her as she lowered the sheet to her knee, hiked the shirt to her hip and stuck in the needle. He still flinched when she did that. She didn’t, of course, but he had to chuckle as he peeled his eyes back open to see if she was done.

“Which spot hurts worse? Your arm, thigh or stomach?”

“Now, really none of ‘em. All three are pretty calloused. The worst is if I have to prick my earlobe for blood. Hate that.”

“Eew. I don’t think I’ve seen you do that one.”

“Nope. Save that for private moments. I’m a baby when I do it. But, sometimes my fingers just won’t bleed anymore.”

He shook his head in disbelief and leaned over for a kiss, picking up a slice of cantaloupe. “Eat. You picked some good melon here.”

She reached up for the slice, but he pulled it away, smiling slyly. “I can feed myself, Nick.”

“I know…” He offered it to her anyway, opening his mouth with her as she took a bite. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah

Typically, she hated being cared for, but seeing the look in his eyes, the maturity that had crept in there since the last time she saw him, she couldn’t deny him. Couldn’t deny herself. He was here for her and no one else. It amazed her.

After finishing the slice of melon, she started on her sandwich moaning and groaning at each sticky, gooey bite. He knew how to make ‘em. She popped the last bite in his mouth and sat back contentedly to eat the last of the melon. Was there any way she could quit work, continue getting her salary and just spend the rest of her days here in bed with this man? Probably not, but it sure sounded like a great idea.

“Thanks, Nick. That hit the spot.”

Taking the tray from her bed, he set it on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed rubbing her legs. “Good…you want to sleep?”

“No, I need to talk about what happened.”

“Oh, okay. You mean us or the accident?”

“The accident. We’ll cover the other later, okay?”

“Yeah…” Nick leaned back against the headboard, bringing her with him to snuggle into his chest. “…so what happened?”

“That’s what’s buggin’ me, Nick. I have absolutely no memory. I was going to take care of the dogs at this girl’s house from work. She’s on vacation this week…”

“Where does she live? Where’d this happen anyway?”

“Right here in this development, Nick…that’s what’s so strange. I drove because I was going to head to the grocery after. Anyway, I turned down her street and next thing I know, I’ve got a paramedic lookin’ down at me asking me questions.”

“Oh Jesus…you totally blacked out?”

“Totally. I don’t remember a thing.”

“Was anyone else hurt? Any other cars?”

“Nope, just me. I guess a neighbor heard my car racing down the street and came out to see what was up. He saw the whole thing.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“Yeah, it’s not pretty.”

Nick looked down at her, watching her fingers, which had been slowly tracing around the lettering on his shirt suddenly pick up their pace. She was even nervous thinking about it. “Okay, so hit me. What happened?”

“I guess I hit the accelerator pretty hard and lost control. I hit the curb doing what he guessed was about 50 mph. I flipped, Nick. Airborne. Hit the curb, started flying and the car spiraled two or three times before it landed.”

As she talked, he pushed her up to look her dead in the eye. Now the fear that had been in her eyes ripped through his. To think that she’d gone through that and remembered none of it…he couldn’t bear it. “How’d the car land?”

“Upside down of course. Just like buttered bread.”

“And you remember none of this?”

“Not a thing. Like I said, I turned down Debbie’s street and next thing I know I’m talkin’ to a paramedic.”

“And they think you blacked out because of low blood sugar?”

“They know it. I was at about 4 when they pulled me out of the car. Got the Glucagon in me and that’s when I woke up.”

“So they knew you were a diabetic and all?”

“Well, yeah…” She lifted up her arm reminding him of her bracelet. “I never thought I’d actually need it to save my life, but this time, it did.”

Taking hold of her wrist, he gingerly brought it to his lips, kissing the tender flesh of the underside and then kissing the bracelet itself. “I’m so sorry this happened, Cici.”

“Me too. Scares the shit out of me.”

“Were you feeling sick before you left home?”

“Not really. I mean, I was going the right way to her house, so I wasn’t even confused. I started feeling light headed as I turned on her street. I don’t think I’ve ever dropped that fast before.”

“What if this happens again, Ci?”

“I don’t know. It hasn’t in 18 years of this, I guess I can’t worry about it.”

“What about your insurance and stuff…will they pull it now?”

“I don’t think so…I don’t really know. They’re gonna have enough of a fit just replacing my car.”

“Yeah, no kidding. How old is it?”

“Six months. I just got it before you came home from tour.”

“Damn…”

“Hopefully I’ll just get another new one.”

“Yeah…I guess so.”

He sat back again, pulling her in, smiling as she snuggled deeper into the bed and wrapped her arm around his lap. Now she’d sleep. Now she’d rest. And he’d watch her. And think.

I can’t imagine life without your love
And even forever don’t seem like long enough.

***

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