Doubt
Part 1
Four
days.
I’ve been in this god-forsaken hole for four days. You’d think I would be used
to it by now, considering all the hours I have logged in these places, but I’m
not. At least not this time. Somewhere between
Four days and I was ready to get out of here. The place was almost haunting me.
Well actually, I can’t really count it as four days because I didn’t even
regain consciousness until late in the day on Wednesday. I think. Everyone was
afraid that I had slipped into a coma, but I for one was glad that I didn’t
wake up until I did. Before I had passed out in that basement I was sure Nick
was dead and was afraid that Brian was too. Little did I know that Brian was a
little beat up, but mostly okay. Bruised ribs were probably the most serious
thing, but they let him out Wednesday afternoon. And Nick, he was okay. But had
I woken up after arriving to the hospital, I would have learned that they had
almost lost him twice.
Twice.
Once on the way to the hospital and once in surgery. Apparently everyone went
through hell for several hours, not knowing if he was going to pull through.
That is something I wouldn’t have been able to deal with. My emotionally
stability was shaky enough as it was. By the time I had woken up, he was out of
danger. Now we all just had a long road to recovery.
It was actually thanks to the nightmares that I was still here. That last
“coma” sleep was the last time I knew a good night’s sleep. Ever since then I
had been having terrifying nightmares. The most common ones were where Marcus
was still alive and broke into the hospital. I was forced to watch him kill all
my friends, helpless to stop him. Another involved the things that he had
planned on doing to me against my will. The last was that he really did kill
Nick. The were all recurring and every one woke me up, drenched in sweat,
panting and even screaming.
“Lizz! It’s me, Kevin! Wake up!”
“Noooooo. Please, Nick! Oh God, please!!!” I screamed, thrashing against the
arms that restrained me.
“Lizz! You need to wake up! You’re having a nightmare! Nick’s fine!” That same
distant voice yelled.
“She’s going to tear her sutures! Lizz, you’ve got to stop thrashing!” Another
anxious voice floated around me and another set of hands tried to still my
movements.
“Noooo! LET ME GO!” I yelled, my yelling turning into cries of pain when I felt
a bunch of popping across my ribs. My eyes flew open at the new sensation,
trying to make out the blurry faces that were above me. Kevin was holding my
shoulders down while two other nurses were also trying to hold me down. Brian
appeared in the doorway looking really worried. I sank back, exhausted and
disoriented. When I looked down, I saw blood seeping through my gown and
gasped.
“Lizz, you tore your sutures. We’re going to give you a sedative to calm you
down.” One of the nurses said as she quickly stuck the needle in my arm. I
couldn’t even protest before the sedative knocked me out.
When I woke up from that, I was informed that they had to redo all my sutures
and I would be here for another few days. I was not happy. Since then they have
been giving me something to sleep, but it didn’t keep the nightmares away. It
just made it harder to wake up from them.
I wasn’t only one having nightmares. Nick and Brian had been having them almost
every time they went to sleep too. Ever since my little episode they started
giving Nick pills too so he could sleep. I think they were afraid he was going
to do the same thing I did.
As soon as I found out that I wouldn’t be getting to go home till Monday at the
earliest, I started making a concentrated effort to get on my feet as much as I
could bear. It hurt like a bitch to walk, but I was never going to get stronger
unless I pushed myself. Friday afternoon I took a walk around the floor and
that night I took a few more laps. This afternoon Brian and Kevin took me down
the little coffee shop. My mocha was the best thing I had tasted in a long
time. On the way up there was this little girl in the elevator that about made me
cry. She couldn’t have been older than 4 or 5 and had a head full of blond
curls. As soon as she saw Kevin and Brian, her little brown eyes got so wide
and she smiled like it was Christmas. What got me teary was that she didn’t ask
them for an autograph or to sing or anything, but instead, she sang for them.
It was too precious. We talked about her all the way to Nick and I’s floor. I
was in a considerable amount of pain since this was the most I had exerted
myself since I’d been up, but I was enjoying being on my feet too much to say
anything. As we got to Nick’s room I immediately noticed several nurses in
there. Two of them were getting ready to leave, but one of them was making
notes in his chart. He looked up at us when we appeared in his doorway and I
don’t even know if I can describe the look that passed over his face. He was
breathing hard and sweat beaded his forehead. The frantic look in his eyes
subsided when he saw us and he seemed to fill with relief. He opened his arms
and said in a hoarse voice, “group hug, guys.”
I exchanged worried glances with Brian before going over and carefully easing
myself on the edge of his bed. A moment later we were all wrapped up in a big
embrace and the first thing that came to mind was that he had had a nightmare.
We finally broke apart and I studied his face. He looked particularly shook up.
“What was it about?” I asked softly.
Nick only shook his head.
“Dude, I came back in the room and he was thrashing all over the place. He
about busted his sutures.” AJ told us, hitching a hip on the other side of the
bed.
“Ew, hun, you don’t want to end up like me. What happened? Come on, holding it
in isn’t healthy.” I encouraged.
He gave me a pointed look, knowing I was doing just that.
“After it all was over, we held a press conference to tell everyone that I
never died and to tell them that it was all over. At the end we decided we were
going on vacation to
Brian smiled. “A poison arrow?”
“Shuddup, it gets worse. I bargained with the chief to be their slave so they
would leave the rest of you alone, but Lizz, you freaked out or something and
they made you a slave too.”
I snickered, wincing as it pulled the sutures. “Just like me, huh?”
“Shuddup. Anyway, they decided they wanted Kevin as a breeder too, like they
wanted Brian for, and he almost got killed on a rope bridge.” Nick continued.
“A rope bridge, Nicky? You watching too much Indiana Jones?” Kevin smiled.
“Whoa whoa, wait a second! They wanted Kevin and
Brian and not me?!” AJ exclaimed indignantly.
Nick rolled his eyes. “You know, you freaked out about that in the dream too.
You are a dumbass, ya know that?”
AJ started to say something back, but Brian beat him to it. “Go on, Nick.”
They made us do all kinds of crap and the chick, Lelani,
that was taking care of Brian was a psycho. She had a thing for Brian or
something and hated Lizz and I. Right before I woke up, they made us go to an
arena. They wanted us to fight a big lizard.”
We all sort of cracked up at that. I was picturing a mini godzilla
and I figured the rest of the guys were too. Nick glared at us for a minute,
before smiling too. “I guess it does seem kind of far-fetched, but it was scary
as hell. I sacrificed myself so you guys could escape.”
“Like I would let Spike eat you while the rest of us ran to save our hides.” I
protested.
Nick looked at me and his jaw dropped. “You...you said...”
“What?” I asked anxiously. He looked totally shocked at whatever I just said.
“You really think I would let you get eaten?”
“No, no... nevermind. Anyway we managed to escape,
but Sp-, the lizard, chewed up my leg so I was holding everyone back. Lizz ran
ahead for help and I decided to go back to save you guys.”
“Awwww.” We all chorused in unison.
“Shuddup. So anyway, they captured me and Lelani made
me drink some potion that altered my thinking and it made me think that all you
guys were the evil ones.” He stopped, not wanting to say anymore.
“You said we were all dead. Did they capture the rest of us too?” Howie asked.
Nick hesitated. “No, I um, I killed you guys. With arrows. The potion started
to wear off and I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t stop. The last arrow I
shot went through you, Brian, and into Lizz.” He finished, his voice barely
above a whisper.
“Aww, hun. It’s okay, none of it’s true. We’re all okay.” I said softly,
wrapping my arms around him.
“Nightmares suck.” He mumbled.
I smiled sadly. “Yeah they do.”
“Come on Lizzard, time for you to go back to your
room. You are ghost-white.” Kevin laid a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m fine.”
“No you aren’t, come on.” Kevin said firmly.
“Alright, only if you play me another game of chess.” I said, batting my
eyelashes.
Kevin sighed. “Again?”
I nodded. “Yup, please?” I pouted.
“Aw, who can resist that?” Nick snickered at me.
“You be quiet.” I ordered, smiling. Okay, so I was in a little pain, but it
wasn’t like it hasn’t been worse. At least I would attempt to beat Kevin again.
He won most of the time, but I got him sometimes. I blamed my losses on the
drugs I was on.
Nick watched Kevin lead Lizz out of his room. Howie decided to join them while
AJ went outside for a smoke break, leaving Brian alone with Nick.
“You didn’t tear any of them, did you?” Brian asked, gesturing to Nick’s
sutures.
“Nope, hurts like a bitch though.” Nick admitted.
“You want me to get your nurse?” Brian offered.
Nick shook his head. “No, but come ‘ere. There was a part of the dream that I
didn’t tell everyone else.” He said, his voice low.
Brian got up from the chair he was sitting and sat where AJ was sitting before.
“What?”
Nick took a deep breath. “I kissed her.”
“Who, the native girl? Lilly?”
“No, dumbass. Lizz.” Nick watched Brian’s face carefully for a reaction.
Brian’s eyes grew wide. “You kissed Lizz?”
I popped my head into the room. “Hey, I forgot my sweatshirt and I insisted
that I come back and get it.” As soon as they saw me, both of them looked up
guiltily.
“Uh, hey.” Nick said, turning red. Brian was trying to keep from laughing and
failing miserably.
“Hey, I heard my name. Were you guys talking about me?” I demanded, pointing my
finger at them.
“No uh, we were just saying that you need to get more rest.” Nick said
smoothly.
“Uh huh. Anyway, I’ll be going now. I’ll let you back to whatever you were
talking about.” I smiled wickedly.
They both waved and as I shut the door behind me, I heard Brian start laughing.
“Dammit, Brian, shuddup,
that wasn’t funny.” But Nick was laughing too.
I grinned and shook my head. They worried me sometimes. Another wave of pain
coursed through me, reminding me that I was starting to push myself too hard.
If I could just get Brian to fess up about what they were talking about...
*~*~*~*~*
“Okay, now that she’s gone again,” I quietly observed once the door closed.
Brian studied my face before he spoke. I kinda in a way hated when he did that,
but then again, Brian always knew the right things to say and do under most
circumstances. “So this kiss you and Lizz had in the dream, it has you shook up
a bit?”
My attention was drawn to the bedspread and I felt the sudden urge or need to
smooth it out rather than look back at Brian in the face. Brian’s hand came
down on one of mine. “Nick?”
“I don’t know what I feel right now Brian. I mean I guess I don’t know how Lizz
would feel ya know? I-I j-just I.”
Okay, stammering wasn’t good. I always studdered when
I got nervous.
“Nick?”
I still wasn’t gonna look Brian in the face. “Yeah?”
“Would you look at me, please?”
I hesitated but finally looked over at my best friend sitting on the edge of my
bed. I hate to admit it, but sometimes just seeing his face calmed me down when
I was upset over something.
“Nick you have to stop thinking here,” Brian said as he gestured towards his
head. “You have to start thinking here,” he then pointed a finger at his heart.
“You heart will guide you in this and your heart can never be wrong.”
“But what if--”
“Nick! Listen to me, if it’s meant to be it will happen, let your heart guide
you.”
“Did it with you and Lee?”
No words were spoken at that moment, only a slight smile formed on his lips and
a nod of his head.
“Ya know I hate all of this,” I mumbled.
“When it’s right, you will know it Nick,” Brian replied with a smile.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Did
you guys miss me when I was gone?” AJ announced as he let himself into my room.
“Judas AJ, that has to be the quickest cigarette you’ve smoked, ever,” I
remarked as I cast a glare in his direction.
“What the hell did I do wrong now?” AJ asked Brian.
“Nothing AJ, don’t worry about it,” Brian reassured.
His tan cowboy boots clicked on the floor in a level, steady beat as he walked
across the room, leaving black scuff marks in it’s trail. He peered out the
window. “Beautiful rainy ass day we’re having.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I sighed.
“So Nick, do you care to explain why the natives didn’t want me as a breeder?”
I rolled my eyes. God, this guy won’t leave anything alone. “AJ, good god, it
was a dream! Would you let it go?”
“Well there has to be some hidden message in there, ya know they always say
that dreams are made up of your subconscious thoughts. My bet is that you feel
sexually inferior to me and you held me back in that dream making those
barbarians think I was undesireable.”
“Seriously AJ,” I scoffed.
“Really AJ,” Brian joined in, his cheeks were stained with a light blush. “This
is really embarrassing.”
“Satisfied? You made Brian uncomfortable, dumbass!”
“Brian gets uncomfortable when he farts in his own car by himself,” AJ
retorted.
“Alright, alright! How about getting something from the cafeteria?”
Brian suggested.
“Do you think there would be any possible way for me to go along? I can ask my
nurse, I’m so damn sick of laying in this bed,” I begged.
“You would have to be in a wheelchair, do you think you could sit up that long?
Your chest is still healing,” Brian asked.
“Hey, if Lizz can do shit so can I,” I defended.
“Okay, I’ll go ask, AJ you can come with me, I don’t trust the two of you alone
together right now,” Brian stated.
“Sure thing Dad,” AJ saluted.
~*~*~*~*~
Lizz entered her room to find Kevin setting up the chessboard on her bedtable.
“Just about ready, I see you got the sweatshirt,” he smiled as he looked over
at her.
Lizz hugged the shirt closely to her chest. It was the shirt Nick had gotten
her for the press conference a few months ago. “Yeah, I’m glad it was where I
thought I had left it. I was afraid I had left it in the cafeteria and I would
have been upset if something happened to it.”
“Well, I would have gotten you another sweatshirt, they’re replaceable afterall,” Howie replied, shaking his head.
“No, not this sweatshirt, it’s from Nick,” Lizz explained.
“Girls, you are so damned sentimental,” Howie laughed.
“That’s because you guys take things for granted and throw stuff out too
easily,” Lizz defended.
Both Kevin and Howie waited for an explaination,
Kevin folding his arms across his chest. “Meaning?”
“Meaning you guys throw out ticket stubs, valentines cards, any type of cards
you get and little gifts,” she explained.
Howie busted out in an intense belly laugh with Kevin snickering alongside him.
“God, Lizz, listen to yourself. I would have to buy another house just to store
all the crap I get!”
Her temper started to flare and suddenly Howie knew he was skating on thin ice
with her. “Oops, sorry, scratch that last remark.”
“Too late! That is my point exactly and I wasn’t talking about fan stuff I was
talking about deep, meaningful relationship stuff!” Lizz fumed.
Kevin and Howie exchanged quick glances at each other.
“Deep, meaningful relationship stuff? Is there something you want to tell us
about you and Nick?” Kevin begged with a grin.
Lizz tossed the sweatshirt into the chair where Howie was sitting. “Skip it,
you got that board ready? I’m anxious to wail on your ass!”
*~*~*~*~*~~
“Lizz, I just captured your queen.” Kevin pointed out, waving a hand in front
of my face.
“Huh? Oh, dammit.” I muttered. Kevin’s last question
got me a little distracted and now I was paying for it. “Okay, fine, take
that!” I hastily moved my rook.
“Checkmate.” I stared at the chessboard, unbelieving. Kevin just handed my ass
to me.
“A little distracted are we?” Howie smiled as he observed the game.
I groaned. “There is nothing going on between Nick and I, Howie.”
“Are you sure? You usually aren’t this bad of an opponent.” Kevin added with a
grin.
I only shook my head. They were both watching me with great interest. “Look you
guys, I’m sorry I bit your heads off about the whole sentimental thing, my head
isn’t on so straight these days.”
Kevin and Howie exchanged glances. “Totally understandable, Lizzard.
Thinking about Nick at any length is enough to spin anyone’s head.” Kevin said,
laughing.
My jaw just dropped. “That isn’t what I was talking about and uh, that isn’t
true. He doesn’t...uh, I mean, I don’t...” I stammered. My temper almost went
off again before I realized that they were goading me. “Ah just shut up and set
the game. I’m so going to kick your ass into next week this time!”
They just sat there and laughed as Kevin began rearranging the chess pieces. I
forced myself to pay closer attention this time and I was actually beating him
until Howie interrupted us.
“Oh my god. Guys...” Howie uttered, his voice strained.
Kevin and I both looked at him, startled. I followed his gaze to the television
that was mounted on the opposite wall, above my bed.
“Lizz...”
I nodded, picking up the remote and turning up the volume. As soon as I saw the
screen my heart sank. “This breaking news, just in...”
~*~*~*~
“Nick, you doing
alright?”
“Brian, for the fifth time, I’m fine.” Nick said, with a hint of exasperation.
However, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. For the first time since
everything had come down, he was out of that damn bed. His nurse wasn’t very
happy to let him off the floor without another nurse, but Brian was very
persuasive. The nurse relented, but insisted that they come back if Nick was
having any trouble at all. He was hurting, but didn’t dare say anything.
“Yeah, geez Brian. I’m gonna laugh when he gets out of that chair and busts
your ass.” AJ commented.
“Hey, it’s my hide if Nick passes out in his wheelchair.” Brian defended.
“Well your protective ass is safe cause I’m not going to pass out.” Nick
grinned up at Brian. Brian only rolled his eyes.
The three got their food and settled in the food court, off to the side. It was
just after the dinner rush so it wasn’t very crowded.
“Nick...?”
“Brian...” Replied a warning voice in return.
“Okay, sorry.”
“So, back to this dream...” AJ started.
“AJ, give it rest!” Nick glared at AJ, frustrated.
AJ held his hands up in surrender. “You’re a little worked up about that dream
aren’t you?”
“Nightmare, AJ, it was a nightmare. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
Nick stated.
AJ glanced at Brian and Brian shook his head slightly. Brian almost smiled,
knowing there was more to Nick’s angst than just the nightmare. “Alright,
consider it dropped.” AJ turned his attention up to the closest TV. They were
sitting too far away to be able to hear what was on, but the picture that
showed on the screen could be seen by anyone. “Oh shit.” AJ squinted at the TV.
Brian and Nick turned around to see what had caused all the color to drain from
AJ’s face. Brian gasped. “I thought this shit was over...” Nick moaned softly.
~*~*~*~
“Aggie, come on! The
place is going all to hell!” Marilyn shouted to her cell mate. The noise was
deafening and the heat from the flames was drawing near.
“No, Mar. If I get out of here, they will put me in lockdown. If the other
inmates don’t kill me first.” Agnes said firmly as she sat on her bed.
“Dammit Aggie! They don’t know you did it! You think
this is going to bring Marcus back? I know you ain’t the type of bitch to let
them win, to roll over and die. We can make a break, let’s go.” When Marilyn
saw that she was getting through to her friend, she pushed harder. “Come on,
Ag. We can get out of here. You want to see Terri, don’t you? You want to
avenge your son, don’t you? Make those kids pay, Aggie.” Marilyn smiled when
she saw that her words were having an effect on Agnes. Finally Agnes nodded.
“Let’s go.”
~*~*~*~
“This
breaking news, just in! It has just been reported that there has been an inmate
riot at FMC Carswell Prison in
*~*~*~*
I stared at the television screen, Agnes’s mug shot off to one side, the smoke
billowing out of the prison windows to the other and words scrolling at the
bottom of the screen, typical CNN news crap. I was trying to convince myself
that this wasn’t the same woman that held such hatred towards Lizz, Brian and I
for her daughter’s accident. If this was the same woman, I was silently praying
that she never received word about Marcus’s death. Surely she would peg the
blame on one of us.
“Nick.....?”
“Take me back to my room, Brian, I don’t feel so hot.”
As Brian jumped out of his chair, he bumped the table, spilling milk and
coffee.
“Slow down ace,” AJ growled. “I doubt Nick’ll pass
out on us.”
Brian took a second to cast a glare at AJ as he steadied the wheelchair for me.
“Let’s not argue right now, okay? I just want to get back to my room,” I begged.
Brian placed his hand on my shoulder. “I know Nick, I know.”
“I hope Lizz didn’t see this, god she worries about shit worse than me.”
AJ snorted at my remark. “I think you do the worrying for the entire country at
times Nick.”
*~*~*~*~~
This breaking news, just in! It has just been reported that there has been
an inmate riot at FMC Carswell Prison in
“I’m turning this off,” Lizz stated as she clicked on the remote. “I hope Nick
didn’t have this on.”
I”m sure he didn’t. Brian and AJ are with him, he’s
probably arguing with them about something,” Howie assured.
Lizz smiled at the thought. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what happened. Okay, are you
gonna set up that game again? I’m ready to totally kick you ass Kevin.”
Kevin snickered and then try to put a concerned face on. “When are you going to
get the rest you need young lady?”
“After I waste you in this damn game,” Lizz retorted.
Kevin raised an eyebrow as he looked at her determined face. “Then I guess
you’ll be awake for the rest of your life because.....,” he paused while he set
the pieces back in place, “...it won’t happen in your lifetime.”
“Bring it!!
*~*~*~*~*~
“Hey Terri! Your momma is on the box!”
Terri stopped pulling the weights briefly as she looked over towards the woman
that yelled out her name. “What did you say, Grace?”
“I said your momma is on the box! Look!”
Dropping the pulleys, the weights dropped to the floor. Terri took the white
towel that was draped around her shoulders and wiped the sweat off her face.
Although she was serving a life term for her involvement in the kidnapping and
extortion, she worked out in the weight room every chance she had. After being
released from the prision infirmary, she was
transferred to the correctional facility in
Squinting her eyes to focus on the television screen, Terri finally pulled the
prison mandated black rimmed glasses from her shirt pocket. “I’ll be damned.
She told me she was gonna do it! I’ll be damned!”
“You told me she was gonna do that, didn’t you kid?” Grace remarked as she
pointed a crooked finger at Terri.
“Yup I did,” Terri smiled.
“And she’s gonna come and spring you out too,” Grace stated, a little too loud
for Terri’s satisfaction.
“Listen old woman, you keep your trap shut if you know what’s good for you,”
Terri hissed. “I‘ll take care of you, but you keep your damn mouth shut!” With
that said, Terri whipped her wheel chair around in a quick jerk and wheeled
herself out of the weight room towards her cell.
*~*~*~*~*~
“Nick? Let’s put him in bed,” the nurse said as she hurried behind Brian and
AJ. She moved around them quickly and lowered the bed so that it was flat. AJ
and Brian helped me into the bed and the nurse slapped a blood pressure cuff on
my arm. “You’re looking about as white as the background on your gown,” she
observed as she pumped the cuff up on my arm.
“All he told us was that he was feeling sick to his stomach,” AJ offered.
Her only reply was a shake of her head. “His bp is
down.” She clicked on the button to raise the foot portion of my bed up
slightly.
“I’m fine,” I protested weakly. I hated having attention drawn to myself.
“Honest, I feel really stupid.”
“So how long did you feel like you were dizzy Nick?” Cindy asked when she
stopped the bed.
This was a question I did not want to answer. “Oh probably a few minutes.”
Evidentally I didn’t place too much conviction in my
voice.
“Really?” she stated with a look in her eyes.
Busted.
“Okay, alright, it’s probably been a few hours but I’m fine,” I protested
again.
“According to your day nurse, your i/o is really pathetic Nick..”
“I/O? What the hell is an I/O?” AJ questioned.
“His intake and output of fluids, basically, Nick isn’t drinking as much water
as we need him too so he’s probably taxing his system.”
“Okay, give me a break, you guys just took me off the stupid IV’s this
morning,” I snapped.
“And if you don’t shape up Mr. Carter, we will have to hook you back up, you
still have a port on your hand,” Cindy pointed out. After she checked my
pressure again, she lowered my feet back down to the same level my head was at.
“Do you want water or juice?”
“Grape juice,” I replied trying to give her a teethy
grin.
“It won’t work Nick, I’ll be back in a minute,” Cindy replied as she left the
room.
Once the door closed, AJ busted out laughing. “You got caught!”
“Shuddup dumbass. God I am so sick of this place!”
“And the longer you don’t co-operate with doctor’s orders Nick, the longer you
will be in here, Lizz is getting out after this weekend, I bet you won’t be
ready by Monday,” Brian surmized.
I hate when he’s right. “I will co-operate, I will be good, just do me a favor
guys.”
“Depends, what do you want?” Brian asked suspiciously.
“Don’t let Lizz know about this or about the news thing, okay?”
“She won’t hear it from me,” AJ remarked as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Okay, me either, but if she asks about anything specifically, I’m not going to
lie about it,” Brian replied.
I sighed. Why did Brian always have to be so damned straight and up front about
shit?
“I guess that’s the best I’ll get?”
Brian simply nodded. Cindy walked in before he could answer. No one spoke as
she slowly raised the head of my bed up to a comfortable angle.
“Drink, Nick,” Brian ordered.
“Good idea, listen to Brian, but just take slow sips,” Cindy cautioned.
I rolled my eyes in reply as they watched me sip the juice. If they only knew
that half of the reason for me feeling sick was Agnes Miller, they would put a
lock on the TV and keep me under lock and key.
updated: 10.18.01
*~*~*~*~*~
I was even more distracted this time, but I forced myself to concentrate on the
game. I was doing a lot better than I should have, but I realized that Kevin
was probably a little distracted too. Agnes’ mug shot kept flashing across my
eyes and I shuddered against the thought. With any luck, she died in the fire.
I was almost surprised at the severity of my thoughts, but this woman nearly
killed us. “Kevin, what the hell was that?” I blinked as he moved his knight,
leaving his king wide open.
“Crap. Well this game is over. I’ve got to go make some calls anyway. Howie,
you wanna stay here?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Sure, no problem.” Howie nodded. They exchanged looks and I frowned. Did they
think I was gonna freak out on them or something? Just because Agnes’ dumb butt
started a fire didn’t put us in any danger. They were gonna put her in lockdown
or something.
After Kevin left, I turned to Howie. “I’m not tired anymore. I want to go see
Nick.”
“Lizz, you have been pushing yourself too much today. You need to try to get
some sleep.” Howie pointed out.
“No way, I’m not sleepy and I don’t want to sleep anyway...” I trailed off.
“I thought the sleeping pills were helping you.” Howie said, concern evident in
his voice.
I groaned. “They aren’t stopping the nightmares, just keeping me from spazzing
out when I wake up from them. I’m more just groggy as hell.”
Howie crinkled his nose. “Well that sucks.”
I nodded. “So come on, let’s go.”
It was Howie’s turn to groan. “You know Kevin is going to get onto me for
this.”
“Yup!” I grinned.
He helped me put Nick’s sweatshirt on since I couldn’t really raise my arms
over my head. I was going to be really glad when this huge gash healed a little
bit because right now I was pretty helpless to do much for myself. Slowly but
surely, we headed towards Nick’s room. My whole midsection felt a little fiery,
but I tried to ignore it. I wanted to make sure he didn’t see that news blurb.
I think Howie knew that I was struggling because he kept a careful eye on me as
we plodded down the hall. When we got to Nick’s room, my heart skipped a beat.
Nick was laying in bed, pale and sipping juice. Brian was standing by the side
of the bed, pained expression on his face. And AJ was pacing back and forth
across the small room.
“What’s going on?” I asked softly.
Nick turned his head to me sharply. “What are you doing out of bed again?! You
are supposed to be resting!”
“And you look like shit!” I exclaimed back to Nick. “And you two look a little
more than freaked out...oh god. You saw huh?” I stared from AJ to Brian.
Brian nodded.
“It may be okay though, right? I mean, maybe it’s even better this way. Maybe
they will lock her ass up in lockdown or something? I mean, that’s what they do
when you cause problems and stuff, right?” I said, hopefully.
AJ stopped pacing. “You didn’t watch the whole thing did you?”
“The-the whole thing?” I stammered.
“Lizz, Agnes escaped in the fire. The authorities have been unable to find
her.” Brian said softly.
“No...that-that isn’t...no...” I gasped, my knees getting weak. Howie
immediately moved behind me and steadied me. Nick set his drink down and held
his arms up for me to go over to him. Howie led me to the bed and helped me sit
down. Nick put an arm around my shoulders and I laid myhead
on his shoulder. “So she’s out.” I said quietly. “She’s going to come after us
again.”
“No, she isn’t.” A determined voice said from the doorway. We all turned to see
Kevin standing there, two cops on both sides of him. My mouth gaped. He was in
the room with me and I turned the TV off. How would he have known how serious
it was? He seemed to know what I was thinking because he turned his attention
to me. “I had a bad feeling and called Blake.”
I nodded. Detective Blake was the one that was handled everything. He was there
when the whole thing came down in that building that Vinnie was holding Brian
and I in.
“Agnes started a fire in Carswell, as you know.
During all the chaos, she and some woman named Marilyn killed a couple of the
guards and managed to escape with a hostage. The hostage was someone that was
visiting his wife that was also in Carswell. After
they were in the free, they killed him too. Blake has some of his best undercovers on the floor in plainclothes. The hospital
tightened security as well. There is no way she is getting anywhere near here.”
Kevin reported.
“What about Vinnie?” Brian asked.
“And Terri?” I added.
“They’re still locked up. We aren’t even going to worry about them. Agnes
either.”
“If we don’t have to worry about them, then what’s with the cops?” AJ demanded.
"Just added protection, Mr. McLean." One of them said.
"Great." Muttered AJ.
I had to smile at him, knowing how he felt around cops. There was a time in my
life when I didn’t feel all that comfortable either, so I could relate.
"Relax AJ, they are mostly going to be keeping an eye on who comes and
goes off this floor." Kevin said, rolling his eyes. He turned and said
something to the cop that had spoken before and the cop nodded before he left
with his partner.
After they were gone, Kevin came in and stood at the foot of Nick’s bed.
"There’s something else we need to discuss, now that all of us are
together." He stopped and frowned at me. "You’re supposed to be
laying down, by the way. What are you doing in here again?"
"I uh..." I started, knowing that I was still going to get busted.
Nick squeezed my shoulder reassuringly.
"She just couldn’t stay away." AJ snickered.
Nick flipped him off in return and Kevin bit his lip to keep from smiling.
"Alright, since we all need to be here for this, you can stay. But after
we are done, you are going to bed missy."
I opened my mouth to protest, but Nick turned and said softly, "don’t
argue. You need rest."
I made a face at him, but kept my mouth shut.
"What is it that we need to discuss, Kev?" Brian asked, still
standing by the side of Nick’s bed.
"A press conference."
There was a collective groan from everyone, but Nick shook his head. "Why
do we need another freakin press conference. We just had one!" He
exclaimed.
"Just had one?" Kevin furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Yeah, before the..." He stopped. "Nevermind,
that was in that damn dream. Yeah, it didn’t go all that well. Lizz, you got
really nervous and were barfing all morning and Brian, you were about as
bad."
I laughed. "I don’t throw up remember?"
Five heads turned in my direction, giving me a funny look. "Okay well
sometimes, but rarely at all. I’ve got a complex against it."
"Anyway," Kevin continued, shaking his head, "there are a lot of
rumors starting to fly and we need to tell them about Nick."
"Oh my god, they still think I’m dead?" Nick’s eyes widened.
"Nick, it was only four days ago that everything happened. When have we
had time to set up a conference to tell everyone?" Howie pointed out.
"Oh yeah. Well where did all these balloons and flowers and stuff come
from then?" Nick gestured to his windowsill and any other available space.
"Your family, our families, management, and etc." Brian smiled.
"The conference is scheduled for Monday morning." Kevin stated,
bringing us back on track.
"Whoa Monday! Kevin, that’s the day after tomorrow. Do we really need to
do it that soon?" Nick moaned, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.
"You know the longer we put it off, the bigger risk we are taking."
Kevin pointed out.
"Am I going to be there?" I asked in a small voice.
"Yes. A lot of questions are going to arise when they find out that you
and Nick were in hiding together for those couple months." Kevin nodded.
"Yeah, questions we still haven’t gotten any answers for either." AJ
grinned.
"Knock it off, AJ." Brian said quietly.
AJ’s eyes widened. "You know something!"
Kevin and Howie didn’t butt in, but looked interested as well. Brian shook his
head.
"No questions got answered because nothing happened!" Nick burst out,
glaring at everyone.
"Yeah, better not tell them about the baby’s room." I whispered to
Nick.
He laughed softly, remembering how shocked he was when I explained why our
apartment had been set up the way it had.
"See! Look, they’re laughing about some little private joke!" AJ
exclaimed, jaw dropped.
Okay, come on. We still have another things to discuss. The tour..." Kevin
started
The smile dropped off my face. The tour? It’s not like I didn’t know that this
was coming, but so soon? I wasn’t ready. What was I going to do?
"How soon?" Howie questioned.
"As soon as you guys are in good enough shape. Nick, you’ve got a ways to
go before you will be ready to be up and dancing again. Same with you,
Brian." Kevin said.
"Hey! I’ve been released. I’m good to go." Brian protested.
"Just because you have been released doesn’t mean that you are good to go,
Brian. You are still pretty bruised up and you need to be taking it easy for
awhile longer." Kevin said, folding his arms across his chest.
"I’m fine, really." Brian insisted.
"My ass. You pulled this crap way back when this whole mess began when I
first started having the seizures and stuff. You hardly ate and you never
slept. You passed out cold in the hallway because you were pushing yourself too
hard. I’ll be damned if I am gonna let you do that to yourself again! If I have
to keep resting, then so do you!" Nick said, pointing a finger at Brian.
Brian’s eyes rounded to saucers. "How did you know I passed out?"
"Kyung told Lizz about it and she told me. See, you can’t keep shit from
me any better than I try to hide it from you." Nick said smugly.
"Okay, alright. Kevin, when are we looking at here?" Brian said,
giving in.
"Management is aiming for two weeks. I know that seems really soon, but
they were insistant about it." Kevin said.
"Go figure." Nick grumbled. "I don’t know how much dancing I
will be able to do in two freakin weeks."
"They know that. You, and probably Brian for awhile, will be taking it
easy on the choreography until you are better. They seem to think it would be
good for us to get back on track. The longer we put our lives on hold, the
harder it will be to get back to normal again. I kind of agree with them, even
if it does seem soon." Kevin added.
"I’m ready." AJ stated.
"Yeah, I figured you would be." Kevin smiled. "So, after the
conference I think we need to...Lizz? Lizz??" Kevin stopped mid-sentence.
"What’s wrong? You haven’t said a word this whole time. I don’t think I
have ever heard you so quiet."
I sat up, pulling away from Nick. "Nothing, it’s my problem to worry
about."
"What’s wrong, Lizzard?" Nick shifted so he
was facing me.
I shook my head, trying to fight the tears that were burning behind my eyes. I
felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Lizz, come on, tell us." Brian coaxed. "It’s just that, I um, I
don’t have anywhere to go now." I whispered. "I mean, last time you
guy left and went on tour, I just went back to my life with Kyung. I mean, it
sucked, but they gave me my job back and I was able to get caught up in my
classes. But now, I’m screwed. Kyung left me, I have no apartment anymore, lost
my job. And I know they won’t take me back again, it’s been too long. And the
semester ended. I don’t think I could go back there again anyway. Too many
people know me and know what happened. It wouldn’t make a difference anyway
because I don’t have the money to go back right now. And I shouldn’t be crying
to you guys about it. You guys have your own stuff to deal with and you aren’t
responsible for me or my problems." I stopped, angry with myself. Angry
that I just made my problems, their problems. Angry that I was so scared to be
alone. Angry that I made myself a burden again. And angry that I was crying.
"Lizz, look at me." Nick said softly. When I didn’t listen, he tipped
my chin up so I was looking at him. "You aren’t a burden. Do you really
think that after everything that has happened, we would just throw you out
there all by yourself? Come on, you can barely even take care of yourself in
your sorry shape right now." He leveled his gaze at me. "You think I
am going to let you out of my site, anyway? Especially now that Agnes is
out?" He paused. "You’re gonna come with us."
My jaw dropped. I looked around the room, holding my breath. Going with?! Brian
was nodding and smiling. Howie was grinning too. I looked at Kevin. He looked
thoughtful, but then nodded. "Nick’s right. That’s the best decision for
everyone. I don’t like the idea of you trying to struggle to get back on your
feet again after everything that has happened. And I want you to be close so we
can make sure you are safe. Plus, I don’t want to hear Nick’s constant bitching
after you guys have been apart for more than five minutes. And I wouldn’t want
to subject any other poor soul to the same fate from your bitching." Kevin
added the last part with a smile.
"Hey!" Nick protested.
"Oh god, do we really have to?" AJ had a look of horror on his face.
He pointed to Nick and Brian. "You guys pull enough shit and now I have to
put up with Lizz adding to it?!"
"Hey, I resent that!" Brian exclaimed.
I laughed. "I have nothing but love for you AJ." My smile faded.
"Are you sure...I mean, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to..."
I stammered.
"Lizz, you’re coming. End of story." Nick said again.
"Oh my god..." I murmured, wrapping my arms around Nick. Okay, now I
was in a state of shock. I was going on tour with the guys?! I mean, I knew it
wasn’t always roses, but whoa...Before I had ever met Nick, a big portion of
the chatting we did was while he was on tour. One of my greatest passions in
life, one that I didn’t know if I could ever fulfill was to get to travel. Now,
not only was I getting to do that, but I was going to get to stay with
everyone, especially...whoa, not gonna even finish that thought.
"Thank you, guys." I grinned, my eyes shining.
***
