Chapter 12
Oh wow…
That was all Katarina’s mind could think of as Nick’s mouth worked hers
earnestly, thoroughly…
Breathing
suddenly didn’t matter anymore.
He pulled her
against him and she willingly accepted the closeness, wrapping her arms around
his neck and nestling her fingers in his hair. How long had it been since she’d
let a guy have this kind of hold on her? She didn’t know, nor did she care. All
that mattered now was that Nick was pressing her tightly against his body,
kissing her the way no one had ever kissed her before.
He made her
feel as though she were the only girl in the world…
This is how
it’s supposed to be, she thought deliriously, this is how it’s supposed to feel like.
For the first time, she understood what it meant to want someone, to yearn for
that someone to take her away to places she'd never been…
He drew back
slightly. "Rina…" his voice trembled,
"make me stop."
"I don’t
want you to," she replied breathlessly and caught his lips again. Why had
she waited so long to do this? No answers came, but then again, her mind was
too clouded to think straight anyway. Her spine tingled as his fingers gently
stroked the long column up and down, up and down…
She moaned and
wished she had some way of drawing that same response from him…but she had no
idea how. Why do I have to be so inexperienced?! She moved her unsure
hands from his neck, down his back… Should I? No…well…why not? She let
herself continue her journey and her hands landed on the back pockets of his
worn jeans.
He moaned.
Yes! She happily exulted
when his kisses deepened even further, pulling her deeper and deeper under his
spell. She felt one of his hands leave her back and suddenly she heard the
sound of her doorknob rattling. He was trying to open the door.
Her heart
began to pound more rapidly, but for an entirely different reason now. She knew
what opening that door could lead to.
Was she ready
to take that next step?
She didn’t
have time to think about it because now the door was open and he was gently
pushing her inside. What do I do? She thought wildly. What if I
can’t…?
And suddenly,
she realized that his lips had stopped moving against hers.
She opened her
eyes and saw him staring at her with a gaze that reminded her of Kris. The only
difference was, she wasn’t scared of Nick. Nick wasn’t Kris at all…and she
wanted him.
Badly.
"Rina, I won’t if you don’t want to."
She nearly
burst into tears at the tenderness in his voice. He was doing everything right.
He was exactly what she’d been waiting for her whole life.
So why didn’t
she feel right about this?
"I want
to," she responded with a lot more conviction than she felt and before she
could say more, his warm, eager lips claimed hers for a third time and her
reluctance immediately died down. Who cares if she had doubts? Life was too
short for doubts. She had to learn to live life to the fullest some time...so
she might as well start now...
Right?
He directed
her toward her bed, his lips not leaving hers for a second, his hands caressing
her back, her arms, her neck…
She trembled
with contentment, although one thing was still bothering her.
His mask.
Katarina didn’t hesitate as she moved her hands upward toward his face and
clasped the end of the leather obstacle.
Instantly, he
sucked in a breath and drew back, letting go of her completely and turning
away. "Don’t touch it."
Her eyes
widened at the sudden animosity in his voice. "But--"
"Don’t
EVER touch it Rina. EVER!"
She cringed.
"You don’t have to yell Nick!"
"Dammit! Do you not realize what you could’ve done?!"
"No
Nick," she replied, now feeling her own anger rise, "I don’t. So why
don’t you explain it so I can?!"
He whirled
around and she saw with disdain that his eyes had grown cold…so very cold.
"I don’t
have to explain anything to you!"
"Fine,
then get out!"
"
"We have
nothing more to say Nick," she interrupted coolly.
He scowled.
"Fine. It’s no loss for me."
He stormed out
of the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving her alone and hurt beyond
words. Katarina, not knowing what else to do, climbed
into bed and wept into her pillow, wondering how she could’ve been foolish
enough to believe that Nick had changed. Maybe it was because she knew deep
down that she had coaxed it out of him…that she had successfully brought
the real Nick up to the surface.
And now he was
gone…buried once again in the impenetrable darkness of the man she loathed with
every ounce of her being.
***
"You’ve
been pretty quiet D. Somethin’ botherin’ you?"
Howie looked
at A.J and shrugged. "Nothing’s bothering me really…"
A.J smirked
and took another sip of his cola before responding. "Spill it man."
"Well,"
Howie looked around the kitchen nervously and set his cup of tea down, "I
met someone."
"That’s
great man," A.J replied enthusiastically, "it’s about time I hear
some good news around here."
"Sorry to
disappoint you then."
"What do
you mean?"
Howie sighed.
"She’s engaged man."
"What?!"
A.J stared at him wide eyed. "You’re kidding right?"
"I
wish."
"Shitty
deal." He patted his best friend on the shoulder sympathetically.
"How’d you meet her anyway?"
"In
church. I was sitting there praying and she showed up," Howie smiled,
"like a beautiful vision…" his smile faded, "but she was there
to book the church for her wedding."
"Damn.
Lucky you huh?"
"Yeah,"
Howie rolled his eyes, "I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I lose one of
my best friends and my dream girl’s getting married. Life couldn’t be
better."
A.J laughed
half heartedly. "Nice D."
Howie sighed.
"I know."
"So, have
you seen her since?"
"No.
"Why not?
Howie
shrugged. "She lives in
"So?
Maybe you can convince her to marry you instead of the jerk."
"How
would you know if he’s a jerk or not. He’s probably a normal guy with a normal
job…nothing like me."
"D,"
A.J shook his head, "don’t be so down on yourself. I hate it when you talk
like that. It’s not like you at all."
"I know…I
guess I’m just a little depressed right now."
"I still
think you should go look for her. After all, there has to be a reason why
you met her in the first place. The man upstairs is the one with the
master plan you know."
"No way
A.J," Howie disagreed vehemently, "I can't do it. It'd be too
hard. I don't want to be constantly reminded of what I can’t have…"
***
"Billie?
Can I see you for a moment please?"
"Yes
sir," she called out from her unusually disorganized desk and put her
files back in her desk before making her way to her boss’s domain. I wonder
what he wants, she thought as she stepped into the room. It was a busy time
in the office and the only time, Mr. Williams interrupted a worker was if it
was important.
"Have a
seat Billie."
She smiled and
sat down, hoping she didn’t look too stressed out. "What can I do for you
Mr. Williams?"
"I need for you to do me a favor actually. I know things are awfully busy
at the moment, but you’re the only one I can really depend on."
"What is
it?" she asked curiously.
"I need
you to go out of town and take care of some problems in our other branch.
They’ve been having some trouble with counterfeit money…"
Billie raised
an eyebrow. "Enough said. When and where am I going?"
"Are you
sure you want to go? I mean, if you don’t have--"
"Don’t
worry about it. I’ll take care of everything."
He smiled in
relief. "Thank you Billie. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.
I’d go myself but…"
"It’s all
right Mr. Williams. I understand."
"Okay.
Well, you’ll leave first thing tomorrow morning and the branch is in
***
Dammit! Where the hell is she?
Kris paced
back and forth in his bedroom. Kat had been gone for far too long now and he
was getting sick of waiting. He had to find her.
Now.
But how?
Not even Billie knows where she’s hiding…at least that’s what she says, lousy
tramp!
He stopped in front of his mirror and smiled smugly. She can hide all she
wants…but that doesn’t make her any safer… "You think you’ve won
haven’t you kitty kat? Well, gloat now, because once
I get my hands on you, you’re going to wish you’d never been born."
He laughed as
an idea came to him. Yes…looks like Billie isn’t so worthless to me after
all. She’s actually done me a favor. Kris moved to his bed and happily
stretched out on it. He’ll gladly thank her for it when she gets back from her
trip. He smiled gleefully. Things were finally going to swing in his favor.
He couldn’t
wait until tomorrow.
***
He was hungry.
But
unfortunately, it wasn’t just for food.
Nick glowered
at the little stream of sunlight that poked its way through the fabric of the
curtains. He hadn’t slept a wink last night. Every time he closed his
eyes he saw her. He felt her. "What is wrong with me?"
he growled in frustration and rubbed his eyes. "OW!" He’d
forgotten that he didn’t have his leather mask on. He ripped it to shreds last
night after his fight with Katarina. He sighed
and leaned back against his pillows.
Things had
been going so well. He willingly opened his heart to her…and for what?
Nothing.
It all came
down to the mask. The stupid, stupid mask!
Why couldn’t
she just leave it alone dammit?!
He leaned the
good side of his face against the palm of his hand. Now they were back to where
they started. Strangers.
They were
nothing but strangers.
He got up and
moved toward his mirror, which he hadn’t looked at in what seemed like forever.
Slowly, he lifted the blanket that covered it and winced at the monstrosity
that was reflected back at him. Anguish overwhelmed him suddenly as the
realization hit him. She could never love him. One look at his face and
she would be gone. He knew it. No one could ever accept him like this.
Not even a
perfect angel like Katarina.
He was a fool
to ever think otherwise.
His muscles
tensed in rage and screaming with a ferocity that even astounded himself, he
grabbed the mirror and flung it across the room, listening as it shattered into
pieces, wishing that could just die.
More than
anything else…
He
wanted to die.
***
