Chapter 3

"I can't accept it, but I know I have to," Kevin spoke solemnly into the phone, "we all have to accept that Nick's never coming back."

"I'm so sorry Kevin, " his wife responded sympathetically, "to be honest, even I have a hard time believing he's gone...he was so young.  How's Brian?"

"Not good.  Leighanne's been keeping a close eye on him and he refused to come to the press conference today," he shook his head, "he still believes Nick's alive."

"It's understandable.  They were best friends."

"I know, but it's not good for him to keep this up.  I don't want him to get sick...the heart surgery was enough to freak us all out and now with Nick gone, I couldn't take it if he leaves us too..."

"Don't think that way Kevin.  Brian will be fine in time.  You have to believe that."

"Kev," A.J interrupted and poked his head through the doorway, "they're ready for us."

He nodded.  "Honey, I have to go."

"Good luck sweetie."

"Thanks.  I love you."

"I love you too...if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me okay?"

"Okay."

Sighing, Kevin said good-bye and hung up his cell.  Talking to Kristin helped him gather at least some strength to say farewell to his life as a Backstreet Boy...and to his little brother.

***

"You must be devastated Ms. Malone."

"I am," Rachel's tears fell freely down her cheeks, "I loved him so much."

"Do you know what you're going to do now?  Are going to stay in his home?  Or sell it?"

"I honestly have no idea," she replied shakily, "I need to deal with my pain before I can decide what I'm going to do without...without him..."

"Thank you Ms. Malone.  This is Channel 5 news..."

Rachel walked away sobbing from the cameras and reporters and headed straight for the washroom.  She stopped in front of a mirror and stared at herself for a moment before grinning in satisfaction.  She wiped the stray tears from her cheeks.  That was some performance Rachel!  She laughed inwardly.  And the media bought every word!  I should really consider getting a job acting...since Nick, obviously, won't be able to supply me with the necessities now.  She crinkled her nose.  Work?  Her?

Yeah.  Right.

She had her looks, her body, and her wonderful acting skills.  She'll have another bank account in no time.  Her grin widened.  And what bank account would be more sweeter than that of another Backstreet Boy?  In a matter of moments she had Nick wrapped around her finger.  She just had to flaunt her stuff.  Snagging another one would be just as easy.  She tousled her black hair and removed any left over make up on her face wanting to look as 'devastated' as possible.  Now, who should take Nick's place in my heart and wallet?  Brian?  She rolled her eyes.  He's too into his wife to see straight.  A.J?  She smirked.  Sexy, but not my type.  He's always with Sarah anyway.  Howie?  Too...nice.  Kevin?...Kevin!  Her face was beaming maliciously now.  The strong silent type...a challenge...but do-able.  And Kristin?  Smug, she shrugged.  She won't be hard to get rid of.  Sure, she's pretty, but compared to me?  Her smile widened.  Mrs. Rachel Richardson...  she nodded approvingly. 

I like it.

***

It was six in the morning when Nick crept into the kitchen.  He was hungry...and he needed to talk to Caroline.  Her guest had to leave today.  Caroline looked up from her stove and smiled.

"Good morning Dear.  Sleep well?"

He managed a hint of a smile.  "It was all right."

"Your breakfast is almost ready."

"Thanks," he sat down at the table and adjusted the patch of leather on his face.  He'd been wearing it for almost a year now and he still wasn't used to it.  It pissed him off.  But he'd rather stare at that than at what was underneath.

"Nickolas dear, don't scowl like that.  It makes me sad."

"Sorry," he muttered, "Caroline, we need to talk."

She smiled.  "I was expecting you to bring her up sooner or later.  What did you think of her?  I thought she was lovely and--"

"I want her to go."

Caroline stared at him, stunned by the coldness in his voice, "Why?  She needs help."

"She can find help somewhere else."

"Now Nickolas!  If I had the same attitude you have right now, you wouldn't be here right now."

He scowled.  "It would've been better if I had died that night."

"Nickolas!!"

Seeing the hurt in her eyes, he sighed.  "I'm sorry Caroline.  I didn't mean to say that."  He stared at her gentle eyes.  "It's just that I don't like her...she's trouble.  I know it."

Caroline smiled knowingly.  "Trouble eh?"

"Yes," he nodded firmly, "she could find out that I live here...she could tell everyone where I am..."

"And she's beautiful."

He didn't say anything for a moment, but eventually he nodded again.  "I suppose she is."

"Suppose?"

Nick glared at her.  "Caroline..."

She rolled her eyes.  "Nickolas, she stays."

"She can't!"

"It's my house."

Frustrated, Nick rose from the table and began to pace.  "But she'll ruin everything!"

"Dear," she stopped him and put a wrinkled hand over his, "do you trust me?"

He hesitated.  "Y...Yes I do," his eyes softened, "you're the only one in this world that I trust."

"Then leave everything to me all right?  Rina will not find out you're here.  I promise."

He stared at her for a long moment before nodding.  "Fine."

***

"I can't believe this weather," Katarina commented incredulously as she stared out the living room window.

"Believe it dear, " Caroline replied, "I've spent almost all my life up here.  It won't change anytime soon."

She sighed.  She was really hoping to get a hold of Billie somehow.  She had to let her know that she was all right.  Caroline had no phone...or TV.  The only sign of technology was a radio.  "Uh, Caroline.  What do you do up here...for fun?"

She chuckled.  "I read and I paint.  That's enough for me."

Katarina smiled.  "Must be nice to not be TV dependent."  She walked to the paintings on the walls.  The detail was exquisite.  She could see that there was a lot of love put into them.  She stopped at one that was a portrait of four very good looking men.  Strangely, they looked familiar.  "Caroline?  Who are these men?"

"No one you know dear.  Just figments of my imagination."

"Hmm..." she couldn't take her eyes off the painting.  I swear I've seen them before...

"Rina?  Why don't I show the books I have in my room?  Perhaps one will be of interest to you."

She turned around.  "You wouldn't mind?"

Caroline smiled.  "Of course not.  You're my guest!"

Katarina followed her upstairs although she still couldn't get that painting out of her head.  There was just something about it...

"Rina?"

Startled, she looked up.  "Yes?"

"I just asked what kind of books you like to read."

"Oh," she smiled sheepishly, "uh...actually I love romance novels..."

***

Nick stared at his sketchpad, overwhelming sadness clearly evident on his tired face.  In just a few days it would be one year...one year without seeing his family, his home, his best friends.  It only seemed like yesterday that they were all traveling the world together, making people smile, making good music.  He wished he was with them right now.  But he knew that was impossible.  He could never see them again...  His eyes fixed on Brian, his best friend in the world.  How was he?  Was he okay?  Did he forget about him already?  Nick hung his head.  They all probably have.  By now, they would have to believe he was dead.  It'd been too long.  A tear trickled down his cheek.  He missed them so much...

"HA!  We kicked your asses!"  Nick cheered triumphantly.

"Whatever!" A.J exclaimed, "I demand a freakin' rematch!"

Brian danced around the bus, still holding on to the controller in his hand. "Who's the best?!!"

Howie crossed his arms.  "If you say so Brian."

"Face it," Nick teased, "you guys never stood a chance against the all powerful Frick and Frack."

"Guys!" Kevin cried out, "I'm talkin' on the phone here!"

"C'mon Kev," Brian shouted, "stop bein' so serious for once!"

"Yeah," Nick continued, "why don't 'cha come take us on Kev?"

"Don't man!" A.J warned.

Howie nodded.  "Yeah Kev, they're setting you up!"

"Aww, don't be such a sore loser guys"

"Nick, you're about two seconds away from a beating!"

Suddenly, Kevin came bounding to the back of the bus, pillow in hand.  "You're all about two seconds away from a beating! Now hold still while I beat y'all to a pulp"

"AHHHH!!!"

Nick smiled.  That was one of his fondest memories.  He was only 16 at that time.  They had so much going for them at that time...they had no idea what lay ahead for them.  His smile construed to a frown.  He had no idea that 5 years later, he'd be stuck in his own private hell, not being able to trust his own shadow.  He wiped the tears from his cheeks.  No more crying.  He stood and left his room to find something to eat.  I have to move on with my life...

Or whatever's left of it anyway. 

***

Katarina put the book down and wiped her eyes.  She was such a sap for romance novels.  She could only hope that her prince charming would be just as dashing and gentle as the main character of the book she just finished.  Now what?  She looked around Caroline's room.  Nothing much in it except for the shelf filled with books and a closet full of paints and other equipment.  She stood and wandered out into the hallway.  I don't think she'd mind if I explore the house a bit.  I doubt she'd hide anything anyway...  She went through room after room after room, not finding anything of particular interest.  The rooms looked like they hadn't been used in years.  Sighing, she opened the door to the last room on the floor.  She was growing antsy.  She hated having nothing to do.  She stepped into the room, expecting nothing and was surprised to find an unmade bed, burnt out candles, empty plates and piles of paper all over the floor.  She raised her eyebrows.  Caroline's not this disorganized... She picked up the papers and glanced through them.  They were empty.  She shivered suddenly.  There was something ominous about this room.  The curtains were pulled tightly shut, making everything so dark and dreary looking.

Gingerly, Katarina sat on the bed.  She shouldn't be in here, her mind screamed at her, but she couldn't leave...  It was that feeling again...something was telling her to stay...  It was then that she noticed the pad of paper on the nightstand.  Curious, she picked it up and opened it.  Impressed she kept on flipping through it.  These are incredible...I didn't think anyone could put so much feeling into a drawing.  She stopped halfway through and frowned.  There they were again.  Those men.  Why do they look so familiar?  She knew she'd seen them somewhere, but right now, her mind kept drawing a blank.  Frustrated, she concentrated on their faces.  They were really cute, especially the one with piercings!  She smiled.  Billie had always laughed at her sometimes weird taste in guys.  Billie...Billie!  Her eyes widened.  That's where she'd seen them!  In Billie's room...on posters!  "Oh my God," she murmured.  I know who they are!  They're--

A low growl coming from her left interrupted her racing thoughts.  She looked up and saw...nothing.  She frowned.  But I could've sworn--  Then she saw it.  A shadow moving toward her.  Her eyes widened.  "Wha--"

"Get out of my room."

She could see his blue eyes now.  They pierced through her like knives.  "Who--"

"Get out."

She stood and stepped as far away from it as he could get.  Wait... she looked at the shadow.  That was no ghost.  That was a man.  A very tall and very angry man.

"I...I..."

"Did you not hear me?" he growled.

Katarina's heart never beat so fast.  He was frightening.  And she couldn't even see how he looked like.

"GET OUT!!!!"

Screaming, Katarina fled from the room, ran down the stairs and made a bee line for the door.

"Rina?" Caroline came out of the kitchen, "what's wrong dear?"

"I'm out of here!" she cried out and didn't wait to hear Caroline plead with her to stay.  She opened the door and stepped out in the nippy wind and rain.  She couldn't see a thing, but it didn't matter to her.  Any place would be better than that house with the frightening man.  "Help," she shouted, "somebody!  Anybody!! Help me!!"  She was too busy screaming her lungs out to see the tree stump in front of her and she toppled over it, hitting her head hard on the ground.  The last thing she saw in her mind were those piercing blue eyes before everything became shrouded in darkness.

***

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