Chapter 83:
Together Again
Being the first to arrive, Brian quickly
grabbed the closest seat he could find and eased his battered frame into the
chair. It had been a struggle, trying to keep pace with Xavier's long strides
as they walk through the lengthy corridors of the arena, knowing that Xavier
was intentionally keeping up a brisk pace. Brian fumed in angry silence, his
back and chest throbbing fiercely as he shifted painfully in his seat,
wondering if it was too soon for another pill. Before he could ask, Sam and the
others arrived, the room filling with Backstreet security, many nodding their
recognition at Xavier and him, while others just stared outright at the
injuries marking their faces. Without thinking Brian touched his forehead,
suddenly embarrassed by his appearance and bowed his head. He realized what he must
look like, and wondered for the hundredth time what reaction, if any, he would
receive from Howie, AJ, Kevin, and Nick once they arrived. His eagerness, his
impatience at seeing them again was tempered by the fact that he did not know
what to expect, what kind of a welcome would be thrown his way. He slowly
looked up, hoping for the best and bracing for the worst as he heard them
enter, dread and excitement filling his entire body.
* * * * * * * *
Howie gave no nod of recognition to Brian
as he walked into the room, remembering the guys' firm agreement: to play it
safe, to act as if nothing had happened. Easier said than done. He took a seat,
the farthest away from Brian and Xavier as he could, wanting to secretly study
them both, especially Brian, without being noticed himself. Picking up a packet
of information that had been placed at his seat, Howie casually skimmed through
it. He felt his heart pounding erratically, the rush of nervousness beginning
to make him sweat. He offhandedly placed his hand over his mouth, as if
contemplating what he was reading before him, hoping to masked any facial
expressions that he feared would betray him.
Stay calm, be cool he chanted mentally to himself, you've been
mobbed by thousands of fans in
It was his eyes that Howie noticed first.
The way Brian slowly glanced up when he first heard them enter the room, the
small flicker of elation, the barest glimmer of relief revealed for a split second
before it vanished, replaced by a vacant blue-eyed gaze, void of any emotion.
The second thing he noticed almost caused
him to gasp out loud. The few short days apart had taken its toll on Brian, the
ugly gash on his forehead, the dull and lifeless pallor to his skin attesting
to that fact. Fighting hard for control, Howie bent his head down, pretending
to read the paperwork in his hand. Instead, he prayed for strength, his lips
forming soundless words, not realizing until he finished that he had said the
prayer completely in Spanish.
********
It was only natural for Kevin to show more
concern for Brian than Xavier when he saw their facial injuries; after all he
was family, and family was always came first.
"What in God's name happened to
you?" he questioned directly to Brian, ignoring Xavier. He already knew,
but realized such a noticeable injury demanded a curious inquiry. He kept his
face straight, impassive as he listened to Brian's fake story about the
over-eager fans and how Xavier got hurt in the process, trying to protect him.
Sickened by the obvious lie, Kevin felt despair when he saw Brian glance at
Xavier, as if asking for his approval.
Kevin nodded after Brian finished his
story, hoping he sounded reasonably businesslike to Xavier. "Hmm. Another
reason I'm glad we're here early to meet about security. Looks like everything
is falling apart." Kevin turned to Sam, who had taken the end seat at the
head of the table. "Sam? Everyone's here. Let's get started." Kevin
leaned back expansively in his chair, arms crossed. Pretending to take note as
Sam began to review and assess the current situation, Kevin instead
concentrated on his cousin, desperately wanting to capture his attention. Come
on Brian! he hissed inwardly, look at me! Let me see that you're okay!
God, Brian, give me a sign, anything that says you're all right! Cause if you
don't, I'm not sure I can sit here much longer acting indifferent!
As if forcing Brian with just his strength
of determination, Kevin saw Brian glance up and look his way. Their eyes locked
for only an instant, but it was enough. Enough to make Kevin want to weep with
frustration and anger for they held no hope, no trace of happiness, only fear,
trapped and consumed by resignation. Kevin was staring into the eyes of a
walking dead man.
* * * * * * * *
If he could just control his anger he
would be okay. AJ knew that his smile right now looked like a grimace, but he
also knew that's how he always looked, so he wasn't concerned. His eyes were
another matter. Knowing that his ever-present glasses were the only thing
saving his ass right now, he relaxed behind the dark shades, letting his eyes
display the anger his actions could not. AJ felt a grim pleasure in directing
his glare towards Xavier, knowing that X could not read the hatred in his
glance. It was therapeutic, liberating and healing at the same time to express
his rage without being caught. He wished the guys had the same outlet as he,
knowing by years of togetherness, that they were suffering inwardly.
AJ turned his attention to Brian, his eyes
softening as the anger he felt evaporated into sorrow. Brian looked so alone,
so lost, sitting there by himself. He wanted to stop the whole meeting right
now, to shout to Brian that everything would be okay, that the monster sitting
near you would soon be gone, the nightmare over. He couldn't, of course, but
knew all he had to do was wait, hold on, because soon, very soon, it would.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nick didn't know whether it was the two
drinks he had or his strength of mind that kept him so calm, so he gave silent
thanks to both. On the drive over to the arena, he had paid careful attention
to Kevin, AJ, and Howie's advice on how to act, patiently listening as they
drilled instructions over and over again, until he had snapped back at them to
shut up, irritated that they thought so little of his self-control at a time
like this.
Now that he was in the conference room, he
knew that the others were having trouble maintaining their composure. What kept
him relaxed was the knowledge that Brian was finally here, sitting across from
him, and although the worse for wear, still breathing. That was enough for
Nick. Frick and Frack, together again, the way it should be, and starting right
now, he was never gonna let Brian out of his sight.
* * * * * * * *
Brian exhaled his breath in a sad sigh. He
should have known better than to get his hopes up once the guys had arrived.
Their aloof and business-like manner had made it very clear that nothing had
changed between them. He watched as Howie chose the farthest seat away, taking
a sudden interest in the papers laid before him, not willing to meet him eye to
eye for even a second. And why should he? You gave him nothing but grief!
he thought bitterly.
Kevin’s curt-like question about his
injury had showed no cousinly concern, just curiosity. Brian noticed Kevin
listening half-heartedly to his explanation before making a short comment, then
turned his attention towards Sam and the meeting, impatient to start. As Sam
began, Brian felt his cousin’s eyes burning through him, willing him to look
up. Reluctantly, he glanced up for a moment to stare at Kevin then glanced back
down again, resigned to the fact that Kevin had not changed, even a tiny bit.
AJ was definitely pissed at him. Even
through the darkened shades, Brian could feel his fury at having to be here
early, at having his vacation time ruined. Whatever the cause, Brian knew AJ
blamed him solely for it. He wished he could apologize and would try to do so
later, but right now he just wanted to shrink away from AJ’s intense stare. He
shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wanting another pain pill.
Nick, out of the four, seemed completely
calm, almost bored with the whole meeting. Brian knew he was probably thinking
how long it would be before he could leave, only here because it was required.
Brian felt no hostility radiating from Nick, unlike AJ, but then he felt no
affirmation of friendship either. Sighing inwardly, he accepted that fact that
his relationship with the guys was no better and, by the looks of everything,
probably worse than before.
* * * * * * * *
Xavier leaned into his seat, relaxed and
confident. For the first few minutes he had been cautious, suspicious of
everything and everyone, his senses screaming to watch out. He had studied
Nick, Howie, Kevin and AJ closely, scrutinizing every move, every reaction as
they entered the room. Unless they were superb actors, they seemed genuinely
annoyed at being here, especially AJ, and no love was lost upon their meeting
up with Brian. Finding Brian's expressions easier to read, Xavier noticed the
quick flash of hope dying in the young singer's eyes, wounded by his friends’
reactions to him. Nodding in satisfaction, he crossed his arms as he pretended
to listen to Sam's boring lecture and recommendations on security, instead
concentrating on how soon it would be before he could get Brian's mix up at the
bank cleared.
He watched as Brian shifted again in his
chair and frowned, knowing Brian was experiencing more pain. He felt for the
small bottle of pills in his pocket and shook it experimentally, reminding
himself to keep a better eye on controlling Brian's pain. He would not allow
the young Backstreet Boy to become incapacitated before he got his money. He
smiled inwardly, hardly believing his good luck. He had thought the game was
over, that he would have to move on due to his quick temper, but here he was,
once more back in control. It was all falling into place so perfectly that he
had a hard time not laughing outright in glee.
***
