Chapter 12:
A Day in
the Life
I ended up
falling asleep with my hand in Nick’s hair. I awoke to someone poking my arm,
“Hey, Brian?”
“What?” I
asked, my eyes still closed.
“It’s me, can
I talk to you a minute?”
I slowly
opened my eyes to see Harmony, “Yeah, sure.” I hopped off the bed and followed
her into the kitchen.
“I’m guessing
since you’re here, his experience didn’t go well?” She questioned, sitting at
the table.
“Uh, to make a
long story short, no...it didn’t go well.”
“I told him it
wouldn’t.”
“He’s all
right now though. He was freaking out and everything, and I finally got him to
calm down and just go to sleep.”
“You’re a good
friend, Brian. Whether he states it or not, I know he appreciates you being
here for him.”
“He’s my best
friend,” I yawned, “and I’d be right beside him through anything.” I paused. “I
think, if we ever get him to tour again, I’d be able to take care of him.”
“You? All by
yourself? Brian, this is a big job, it’s not pretty.”
“Like I
mentioned, I’d be right beside him through anything. If you can do it, so can
I.”
She smiled,
shaking her head in disbelief. “Stay here for an entire day and see what all
happens, and I guarantee you’ll never wanna even see it again.”
“It can’t be
that bad,” I replied.
“You’ll see.”
She smiled.
I decided to
stay the whole day to see just how bad it was. Plus, I wanted to make sure Nick
was all right. His experience must’ve been ego-shattering. I just couldn’t
imagine going through that...
I slept a few
hours more in the guest bedroom, but Harmony woke me at about
“You wanna
take him to the bathroom?” She asked as we approached the room.
“Do what now?”
“What? You
just help him into his wheelchair, and then wheel him to the bathroom,” she
paused.
“That’s all?”
“Then, you’ve
gotta help him get on the toilet....”
“What?”
“He can’t do
it himself,” she paused, “Well, he can, but not very well.”
“All right. I
can do this.”
I took a deep
breath and walked into the room. “Nick?” He was still sound asleep. I hated to
wake him up. “Uh, Nick?”
His eyes
slowly fluttered open, “Hi, Brian.”
“Harmony asked
me to get you up and take you to the bathroom.”
He nodded,
“All righty.”
I grabbed a
hold of him and led him into his chair. Once sitting, I did as Harmony
instructed me to, and I wheeled him to the bathroom.
“I can do the
rest, you don’t have to help me.”
“It’s all
right, Nick. It’s no big deal.”
“I know you
don’t wanna, so, you don’t have to.”
“I’ll leave
after I help you get on the toilet, okay? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
He blushed.
“Okay.”
I pushed him
inside, unknowingly shutting the door. It’s a habit. Go into a bathroom - shut
the door. I aided him in lifting himself from the wheelchair, and moved it
aside. His hands grabbed onto the sink, shifting his weight to his arms. I
quickly pulled his underwear down, and helped him sit on the thrown.
I opened the
door, walking out, and shutting it behind me. Slowly I walked back into his
room, where Harmony was stripping the sheets off the bed. “What happened?” I
asked.
“He wasn’t
wearing his catheter, and he had an accident.”
“Oh.”
“It happens.”
“So, um, can I
ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.
Anything your little heart desires.”
I sighed,
“Well, I was just wondering how he knows when he’s gotta go? ‘Cause I mean, he
can’t feel it, right?”
“You’re right.
He can’t feel it. That’s why he’s on a routine.”
“What kind of
routine?”
“Well, he
wears the catheter, so that prevents him from urinating on himself. But, every
morning at around the same time, he goes into the bathroom, sits on the toilet,
and inserts a suppository, and then he waits for about 20 minutes.”
“20 minutes?
That’s a long time...”
“After that,
he digitally stimulates himself every 10 minutes or so, until he’s empty.”
My face
must’ve shown disgust, because Harmony was laughing. “What’s...how do you
’digitally’ stimulate yourself?” Note to self: curiosity killed the cat.
“You would use
a circular motion in your rectum. This causes it to relax, and so it makes it a
lot easier to empty the bowels.”
“I’m sorry,
but that’s gross.”
“How else is
he gonna do it?”
“How long will
he be in there?”
“45 minutes to
an hour. It depends on what he’s eaten,” she laughed.
“Oh, well, I
guess that makes sense.”
“When he gets
out, you wanna bathe him?”
“What?”
“I thought you
said you could take care of him?” She laughed.
I swallowed
hard, “Well, I guess I could. It won’t be so bad I guess.”
“It’ll give me
some time to myself while you’re bathing him...” she laughed again.
“All right. I
can do this, I’m brave.”
She smiled to
me as she put clean sheets on his bed. “I know you’ll be able to do it.”
“He can do
that himself, though, can’t he? I mean, all he’d need was someone to help him
into it, and then someone to help him out of it.”
“He enjoys
having someone take care of him, but, you’re right. He can pretty much do the
washing himself. Some things he’d need assistance on, but he enjoys being taken
care of.”
“Do I have to
wash all of him?”
She laughed,
“That’d make sense, wouldn’t it?”
“I just meant,
doesn’t he do any of it himself?”
“No.” This was
going to be awkward. I mean, I’d obviously seen Nick naked before. Many times
before, although I’d never bathed him. This wouldn’t be a big deal. I told
myself this repeatedly. It was a friendly gesture, and nothing to worry about.
Around 45
minutes later I’d drawn his bath water, and Harmony and I had him in the
bathtub. She left me in there, alone with him. It was uncomfortable and
awkward. The twenty-something man in front of me was almost child-like. I was
taking care of a child - not a man. He was almost helpless it seemed, like a
baby bird needing it’s mother. That means I was the worm feeding mommy.
Regurgitating his food... Can we say gross? Maybe the bird analogy wasn’t a
good idea.
My eyes
glanced over his bare body; water trickling down his arms and stomach. He kept
his head bent, almost as if he were afraid to look into my eyes. Was he
embarrassed for me to see him like that? Surely not.
I grabbed for
the wash cloth, lathering it up with some soap. It smelled like ripe
strawberries. It was kinda nice. I took the cloth and rubbed it over his back,
soaping him up. It glided over the inked tattoos scattered on the upper back,
and even along the KAOS tattoo trailing downward. His usually fair skin was
turning mildly red from the constant scrubbing. I listened as he let out a few
shaky breaths as the cloth swiped gently over the slight bumps of his spine,
but he remained virtually soundless.
“So, uh, how
did you sleep last night?” I asked, trying to make conversation as I washed my
friend. This whole situation was weird, and the ice had to be broken.
“Same as every
other night,” he quietly spoke; head still facing the warm water he was sitting
in.
Was it me? Did
I do something to make him uncomfortable? Okay, he was sitting there naked, and
I was washing him off like a two year-old. His uncomfortable feelings were
normal given the situation. I continued scrubbing his back, making my way back
up towards his shoulders and neck. When the soapy fabric lightly touched his
neck, he reacted as he always had. His neck was by far the most ticklish part
of his body. Touching it even gently sent goosebumps up and down his body; his
shoulder would raise to meet his face - trying to cut off the contact to his
neck; his face would show an expression that almost mimicked something close to
pain. He was doing this now. I could hear him breathing - no panting, and it
bothered me. Did it tickle that badly? Was he nervous? If he was that nervous,
I’d gladly leave and get Harmony to finish.
His light blue
crystal eyes closed and he swallowed raggedly. I took the wash cloth and left
soapy sud trails down his right arm. Each time the
spongy fabric ran across his tattoos, he would let out a light moan. I tried to
disregard it. A moan was perfectly natural when you’re enjoying yourself. Being
bathed was enjoyable by all accounts - no matter who is bathing you. ...Right?
Or maybe he was so embarrassed or afraid of the situation he was moaning in
panic? Do you moan in panic? It’d be more exasperated though, right? A little
less...oh, I dunno - excited? Ecstasy-driven?
I needed to
keep a conversation going before I went mad. What would Nick wanna talk about?
Uh...basketball? NO! We’d been to a damn basketball game when this happened.
How about...football? He liked football, right? “How about them buccaneers?” I
smiled sheepishly as I maneuvered my way to his chest.
His eyes
popped open, “What?”
“You like
them, right?”
“What about
them?” he smiled.
“Uh, I dunno -
I asked you.”
He opted to
change the subject. “Is this as awkward for you as it is for me?” He asked,
finally turning to look at me.
“A little
bit.”
“I mean, I
just...I’m not completely comfortable naked in front of anyone, ya know? And, I
just feel weird having you take care of me like I’m a baby or something.”
“It’s all
right, don‘t worry about it,” I started, my hands traveling further down his
chest and onto his stomach - a coveted part of Nick that very few people ever
saw, let alone touched. His stomach was a private part of him. No sooner had I
touched it when he gasped. “What?” I asked, pulling away, afraid I’d hurt him.
“Noth-nothing. It’s fine,” he said, his breathing heavy. He
closed his eyes tightly, swallowing hard.
“Are you all
right? Did I hurt you?” I frantically asked.
“No,” he
softly spoke, his eyes opening and tracing over my face. “I just...” he sighed.
“My stomach is really sensitive since the accident...it’s one of the ‘exciting’
places the doctor mentioned to me. My neck too...and my nipples.” At least he
was honest. Had he not told me, I’d have been afraid he had internal bleeding
or something from the way he gasped, eyes bugging out and everything. What he
was speaking of was his erogenous zones. New places he’d found that created
sexual stimulation... I knew I didn’t wanna make him horny by bathing him...
I nodded,
accepting his offering of an explanation. I was hesitant to continue - afraid
of finding more spots that he thought were...exciting. Gingerly, I
reached my hand back out, and continued washing his stomach. I could tell when
he was liking it a bit more than he should’ve been, because he would
reflexively close his eyes tightly, his face grimacing with pleasure. I just
tried to get it over with quickly.
Next in line
was his... okay, was I supposed to touch that? He could clearly do that
himself... my assistance wasn’t needed for that one. But I didn’t want him to
think that I found his body repulsive, and have him do it himself. I was in the
middle of the fence - and my pants were ripping at the seam. Maybe I’d just
tell him I was...nervous? Scared?
“Uh, Nick?”
“Yeah?” he
questioned, looking into my eyes curiously.
I didn’t know
what to say, “Do you wanna clean your-” I pointed, “yourself?”
For a moment,
he said nothing. Don’t tell me he didn’t know what I was pointing at! “Oh,
uh...”
“I mean, I’ll
do it if you want me to, but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
“Uh, could you
do it for me?” I didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable, why did he wanna make me
uncomfortable??
Why? I didn’t
wanna...but now look what I’d done. Grrr...
“Ye-yeah...” I felt my throat closing, air deciding to abandon my lungs and
leave me for dead. I was petrified to touch him there. Why? It wasn’t a big
deal. Not to say that he wasn’t well endowed. Okay, you know what? I’m never
going to explain myself again, because it just makes it look bad. Anyway...the
touch wouldn’t be sexual...and he wouldn’t feel it. So I didn’t have to worry
about him getting excited. Right?
Timidly, I put
the wash cloth over my hand - opting for that rather than direct skin-to-skin
contact - and shakily wrapped my hand around his flaccid member, washing him in
a stroking motion. Nick didn’t moan this time, thank God. I was scared. All of
a sudden, he became rigid. Petrified, I fell backwards onto the hard, cold,
tile floor. I should’ve showed my shock in a more discreet way, but I reacted
the only way I knew how.
Quickly I got
back to my original position, and continued. Nick was studying my face. I felt
bad, and I knew he was gonna ask questions any moment now. I could feel his
glare on my face. “Why’d you jump backwards? Did you slip?” That’s right. He
didn’t feel it...sheesh, he’d scared the crap outta me!
Slip? Jump
backwards? Two completely different things there...and I fell. I didn’t jump,
or slip. But he didn’t need to know that. “I uh, slipped on some water.”
“Oh. Are you
okay? You didn’t hurt yourself?”
“No. I’m
fine.” I finished washing his body as quickly as possible, rinsing him off
before washing his hair. I think he liked that too. The bathroom was like some
kind of tropical paradise. It smelled like strawberry soap and coconut shampoo.
Invigorating! Well, that’s what the packages said...
I was so glad
to finally be finished washing him. I didn’t ever want to have to do that
again. I love Nick like a brother, but some things you just don’t wanna do for
someone twice - no matter how much you care for them. I’d leave the bathing up
to Harmony from now on...and the bathroom deal too.
***
