Chapter 13:
Changes
Happen
It was really
strange having Brian take care of me. I felt so much like a baby I almost
wanted to cry. Almost... And what made it worse was that I knew he
didn’t do it because he cared about me, he was doing it just to prove that he
could. Not to say that Brian doesn’t love me, but, I just felt like that’s not
the reason he did it.
How
embarrassing do you think it is to be taken to the bathroom by your best
friend, and then bathed like a flippin' two year-old? I just wanted to crawl
under a rock and die. This was the most embarrassing moment, day, era of my
life. If it gets any worse I’ll be shocked.
Later, after
my bath, Brian asked me, yet again, if I wanted to tour. We’d released the
album, and before my accident, we were scheduled to tour. “Nick, uh, do you
wanna tour with us?” He didn’t even wait for anything relative to come up in
our conversation. How random.
“Would you
guys tour without me?”
“It was...discussed.”
Ah, I knew what that meant. Translation: Kevin thinks it might be best.
Well, Kevin can kiss my crippled ass.
“I can’t
believe you guys would think of touring without me!” It hurt. Seriously hurt. I
knew, however, that they couldn’t wait forever for me to grow up and get on
with my life. Even when AJ went into rehab, we’d “discussed” touring without
him, although I’m sure when they discussed it this time it got further.
“Nick, if it
were up to me, we’d never even have talked about it. But the truth of the
matter is: we can’t wait for you forever. The fans want a tour, and we’re
looking forward to getting back on the road. We can make accommodations for
you, buddy, and touring won’t be a problem. But, if you don‘t wanna do it, then
we can‘t make you.”
I laughed, “I
figured Kevin would come over here and tie me down, ‘it’s in the damn
contract!’” I mocked. “Well,” I cleared my throat. “Like I mentioned before, I
wanna sing again, but I don’t wanna go on stage in front of people. I don’t
know what their reaction is going to be.”
“What’re you
talkin’ about? Nick, you know the fans love you; they’re not gonna freak out -
they know all about it.”
“If I tour
with you guys, I’m gonna look stupid up there.”
“Oh you will
not. Nick, stop whining.”
“Whining?”
He sighed,
“It’s a yes or a no. There’s no need for all this.”
Sometimes.... Sometimes I get so
close to smacking him across the face it’s not even funny. “Look, it’s like
this: I wanna see the fans, and I wanna sing. But, there are so many things I
don’t wanna do. I don’t wanna ride on a bus from city to city; I don’t wanna
get early wake-up calls, and,” I paused, “be chased inside my hotel, and -”
“These things
aren’t that bad, and you know it. You’re just making excuses,” he laughed.
“Please say you’ll tour with us. We need you, Nick. I don’t wanna do it if
you’re not there.”
I. Was. Loved.
Oh, yes, I was sooo loved. Brian didn’t wanna do it if I wasn’t there. Li'l ol’
ME. Well, Brian still loved me at least. I smiled, “That’s sweet of you to say,
Bri.”
“Well, it’s
true. You‘re my little brother, man, and I definitely want you to tour with
us.”
I nodded,
giving in. “Okay, I’ll tour with you guys.”
“Great!” He
said, embracing me. Yeah, great.
Just then,
Harmony walked into the room. “Nice to see you boys getting along,” she smiled.
Brian let me
free from his ‘Kentucky Bear Hug’, “Yeah, Nick agreed to tour with us.”
“Really? Wow.
What’s gotten into you, Nick?”
Okay, for
some reason I think I’m blushing. My face is growing warm signaling blood is
rushing to my face. “Nothing’s gotten into me, Harmony.” I hissed.
She smiled
again, “When are you guys going to begin the tour?”
“In about two
weeks,” Brian said, nodding.
Two weeks?
“Wait, we’re starting the tour in two weeks?!?” He seemed to have forgotten to
mention this to me.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Don’t I get
more time to get ready?”
“Two weeks is
plenty of time. It’s not like you need to learn any choreography or anything,”
he laughed.
Ha. Ha.
Funny.
That damn bastard. “Why are you laughing? It’s not funny!”
“I was just
kidding, Nick, don’t get all freaked out. All right? I didn‘t mean anything by
it.”
“Don’t ever
say anything like that to me ever again!”
“Nick! I
didn’t mean anything by it, I was just playin’!”
“Well, it’s
not funny, dammit!” Maybe I overreacted a little, but
it did hurt my feelings - and it most certainly was not funny.
“He didn’t
mean to hurt your feelings, Nick,” Harmony began, “calm down.”
“Oh shut up
the hell up Harmony!” Ouch. Point one for Carter.
“Sorry, didn’t
mean to butt in - just wanted to make you feel better before you start
bawling.” One hundred points for the insensitive bitch.
A few days
later I was in rehearsals for the tour. While the guys were working out
choreography for a few songs, I was watching, feeling a bit depressed. Of
course, I had my own “choreography” - it was just basically instructioned
on where to be during certain songs so I didn’t get run over or ‘trampled'. I
was happy though that they’d made accommodations just for me. They didn’t have
dance routines to very many songs - which made me feel a lot better about not
being able to do them. I didn’t tell anyone, but I was scared and nervous about
touring. I’d never been more nervous in my life.
And then came
the news that Harmony was leaving me... she was going back to work at the rehab
center. But, good news was, she’d found a permanent nurse to tour with me. Her
name was
“Nick,
sweetie, I cherish the time I’ve spent with you, but really, I need to go back
to the rehab center. It’s where I belong. You’re going back on tour, and
there’s no way I can go with you.”
“Please?
C’mon, you don’t miss the place that bad, do you? You can tour with me, it
won’t be a problem. Please? I’ll pay you more! Please, Harmony!”
“I can’t. They
need me back, and I need to go back. You’ll be fine with
“Just like I
was ‘fine’ with Larissa?”
“It’s not my
fault. I didn’t tell you to sleep with her.”
“Please, don’t
go. I swear, I’ll pay you more!”
“No, I can’t
stay. You’ll be fine. Liz is really nice, you’ll like her.”
A few days
before the tour was scheduled to begin, Harmony went ahead and left me.
***
