Rebuilding
Michaela
and I entered Anita’s room. You could barely see her under the mass of
tubes and machines. But without them she would already be gone. If
only modern medicine could save her not just sustain her for a couple
hours. I sat down beside her and took her frail hand in mine.
“My
God, Anita why did you have to do this?” I asked quietly.
Her
blonde hair lay spread out around her face only making her look paler than she
was. It gave you this haunting ghost like impression. I was almost
angry with her for the extra pain that she was causing everyone. I didn’t
know if she was able to hear me but I went on anyway.
“Don’t
you know how many people love you? Don’t you know how much it’ll hurt
when you’re gone, how much you’ll be missed? Damn it Anita I know how
much it hurt. Lord knows I did. But it would have gotten
better! If you had just let me help you! If you had jut let me in!
I could have helped you. I wanted to help you!!” I was sobbing
uncontrollably now. My tears spilled down my face and onto the starched
white bed sheets.
“I
should have tried harder. Anita, I’m sorry I didn’t. If I’d just
tried harder…”
“NO!”
Michaela said sharply from behind me.
I
had almost forgotten that she was there. She grabbed my shoulders and
made me face her.
“It
is not your fault,” she stated looking me directly in the eye.
“But
I didn’t try hard enough! Maybe if I had…”
“NO!!”
she said again this time more fiercely. “You listen to me. It was
Anita’s choice to commit suicide no one else’s. She was the one who
shut you out. You tried Elyssa but she didn’t want your help. Hell,
she didn’t want any help. For her it was easier to drown in self sorrow
than to try and cope with it.”
“I
just wish..” I trailed off.
“I
know, I know,” Michaela said soothingly as she held me.
We
sat there for several moments while I calmed down. Once I had composed
myself again I turned back to Anita.
“Anita
I’m sorry. It’s just so hard. You, Brian and A.J. I feel like I’m
losing everyone that I love. We have had so many wicked times
together. Jeez I’ll be bored without you around. You always had a
way of making everything fun.”
As
memories floated through my mind I became teary eyed for what seemed like the
millionth time.
“Now
there will be no one to help me whip Brian’s butt in basketball. Who’s
going to talk to me on the phone until
I
gently squeezed Anita’s hand and stood up. I stepped back so Michaela
could say a few words to her. When we were finished we went back into the
waiting room and waited for the inevitable.
After
the guys had, had their time with Anita, Dr. Carson told us we may as well go
home. He of course promised he’d call if anything happened. It was
about
As
my eyes settled on the kitchen table I felt nauseatingly sick. I let out
an ear-piercing shriek.
“What??!
What happened?” Michaela said as she came sprinting into the room.
“Holy
shit!!” she exclaimed when her eyes finally rested on the table.
“He
got in Mickey,” I said beginning to feel weak.
On
the table lay my picture with our largest steak knife stabbed straight through
it. A red liquid was spread across the entire wood table. In it the
words "no escape" had been scrawled.
“Oh
my God Mickey what if he’s still in here?”
The
thought of Rick still lurking in the shadows scared the hell out of me.
“I’m
calling the police!” she said and picked up the phone even as her eyes darted
nervously around the room.
She
was terrified too, who wouldn’t be? She tried the buttons several times.
“What’s
wrong?” I insisted on her fourth try.
“It’s
dead,” she stated frightened.
He
was re-creating a horror movie with utter perfection. I shook my head as
thunder cracked outside and rain began pounding the window.
“What
are we going to do?” I asked as my voice trembled.
“I
don’t know,” Michaela replied.
Just
then I remembered something.
“I
have a cell phone,” I cried triumphantly I whipped it out and was about to dial
911 when I heard something.
“Did
you hear that?” I barely managed to sputter out.
The
fear was consuming me. The suspense of not knowing was killing me.
Just then there was a crash from right outside the kitchen door. Michaela
screamed and grabbed hold of me.
“Yes,”
she squeaked. Both of us unable to move we clutched each other our eyes
glued to the door.
***
