Chapter 15:

 

One Voice

 

As soon as he walked out onto the stage where the conference was set up, flashes went off everywhere, and voices began buzzing excitedly. Howie squinted under the intensity of the flashes. He waved his free hand at the crowd.

 

“Hi everybody,” he said, taking his seat. Once he was settled, he adjusted the mike to speak.

 

“Before we start this, let me just say thank you for coming. All of us really appreciate all of your prayers and support. You’ll have to excuse all my bumps and bruises, I know I don’t look my best, but that is why we are all here today. And I’m sure they’ve already told you this, but we need to keep this kind of short, because I’m going to tire out pretty easy. Please keep that in mind. I want to answer as many of your questions as I can, but I also don’t want to pass out up on this stage or something equally embarrassing.” He smiled a little, and got a few chuckles in response.

 

He scanned the crowd and saw several familiar faces from the reporting world, including VJs from Much Music and MTV UK, and John Norris from MTV.

 

“Well, who has the first question?” He pointed to someone in the crowd.

 

“What is the condition of your fellow band members, as well as yourself?”

 

“Well, “ Howie began, “As you can see, I’m doing pretty well. I have a fractured foot, that’s why I’ve got the cane, and a broken arm here, but other than that I was pretty lucky. I don’t have any injuries that won’t heal.” He paused. “Umm, A.J. McLean is doing pretty well now, he’s awake more and more during the day. We are sharing a hospital room, and we play cards and stuff when he’s not sleeping. He’s pretty happy right now, he has one of his hats with him now that he wears all of the time that drives the nurses nuts.  He’s got some broken ribs, broken hand, and some whiplash. But he’s going to be fine, he just likes to complain.

 

“As for Brian, well, he’s doing a lot better. We were pretty worried about him for a while, he took everything really hard, and he had some complications, but he’s doing a lot better now. Both of them wished that they could be here, but physically they aren’t ready yet.”

 

Howie paused to take a sip of water.

 

“Some of the best news I have to say hasn’t been released to the press yet so I’m very happy to be the first to tell you that Kevin regained consciousness for the first time yesterday afternoon.”

 

A murmur rippled through the crowd at this news. Once they had quieted, Howie went on.

 

“Brian and Mrs. Richardson were there when it happened, and he knew who they were and was responsive to their questions, so that is really good. He’s been in and out I hear, usually up for a couple of minutes at a time, but we are, needless to say, thrilled to have him back with us. So we’ll keep you updated with his progress.”

 

“What about Nick Carter?”

 

Howie glanced down for a moment. “Unfortunately I don’t have such good news about Nick. He is still in the ICU in critical condition. We don’t know when or if he is going to come out of the coma, so we need everyone out there to pray for him, and for the rest of us.”

 

“What are his odds of survival?”

 

“I haven’t asked that question, and even if I had I don’t feel it’s necessary to say that here. That’s private information.”

 

“What happened the night of the accident?”

 

“Well, none of us remember it at all. I remember being on the bus that night, but I don’t remember the accident itself at all. Neither do the others. Brian and A.J. don’t even remember doing the show that night. But what we have been told is that a trucker lost control of his vehicle and sideswiped us. Brian, A.J. and I were thrown out the windows, and Kevin and Nick were trapped inside when the bus rolled. I’d say we need to thank the Lord above that we came out of it as well as we have.”

 

“Are the Backstreet Boys still a group? Or is this going to be the end?”

 

Howie drew in a deep breath. “Wow. That’s quite a question. That is going to be hard to answer without giving the wrong impression, but here I go. We really haven’t even thought about it. The only things on our minds have been to heal and get better and to be there for each other. We all believe that Nick and Kevin will recover just fine, but we really don’t know for sure right now. As for what the future holds for the Backstreet Boys, I really don’t know.” He cracked a smile. “I can tell you, pretty confidently that touring won’t happen for awhile, considering none of us are itching to get out on the dance floor any time soon.”

 

“What has been the effect of this tragedy on all of you? How are you holding up?”

 

“Well,” Howie said slowly. “It’s been very, very hard. I was the first one to wake up after it happened, and I’m not ashamed to say that I cried like a baby when they told me what happened. A.J. and Brian and I have really had to lean on each other for support. Like I said before Brian took things very hard. But we’re starting to come around. We’re very positive now, especially since Kevin woke up. A.J.’s starting to get a little restless I think, he’s been trying the patience of a few of the nurses. Brian and I even pulled a little bit of a joke on him yesterday. We’ve even done a little singing here and there. So, we’re coming around.”

 

“What do you have to say about the response of the fans to your accident?”

 

“Oh man, I can’t say enough. We are so thankful to them for their love and support through our time of need. There have been people outside the hospital all of the time, we’ve gotten thousands of cards and letters from our fans. I on behalf of the others want to offer our sincerest thanks to them for that, and I would also like to ask for their continued prayers. I have no doubt those prayers are why we are still here.”

 

“Has there been any incidents with any of your fans getting out of control?”

 

“Not that I know of,” Howie replied. “The hospital has been absolutely wonderful in looking out for all of our health and safety, I cannot thank them enough for all they have done for us. Under the circumstances we’ve done very well.”

 

“How long do you estimate everyone’s total recovery time to be?”

 

“To be honest, I have no idea. I think it’s still too early to tell. Brian has been carting around in his wheelchair, but he’s not in any shape to walk yet, and actually I believe his doctor is a little unhappy with him being up and about so much, but he wants to be with Nick and Kevin. And he can be really stubborn, so right now he’s having his way. A.J. was moving around a little bit earlier in the week, but his injuries were aggravated by it, so he’s back to bed rest. You can imagine how unhappy that makes him. And I can’t even begin to tell you about Kevin’s recovery. I haven’t been able to talk to him at all yet.”

 

“Will any of the others be making any public appearances once they are released form the hospital?”

 

“That would be up to them. Like I said before, A.J. and Brian wanted to be here with me today, but they aren’t strong enough yet, and I myself had to kind of talk my doctor into letting me do this.”

 

John Norris stood up to ask a question. “How do you like San Antonio so far?”

 

Howie chuckled at the question. “Please don’t make me laugh, it hurts my ribs.”

 

“I’ll try my best,” he replied.

 

“In answer to your question, I find this to be a lovely city. Unfortunately, the only look I’ve gotten of the Riverwalk is what I saw on my way here. I hope to get a chance to look around a bit before we end up going home.”

 

“I have another question for you if you don’t mind Howie,” Norris spoke up again.

 

“Ask away.”

 

“MTV has gotten a lot of calls from your fans wondering how this accident was going to affect the release of your next single.”

 

“That’s an interesting question. No one has mentioned anything about it to me; I haven’t done much in the way of business recently, for obvious reasons. I would like to know the answer to that myself.”

 

Someone leaned over and whispered something to him. Howie spoke into the microphone.

 

“I have just been told that the release of the new single will be put on hold until some of this blows over a bit. Unfortunately for us and for you at MTV, we can’t promise you a video. We were scheduled to do some shooting for it after the tour ended, but all of that has been chucked in the garbage for right now. Next question? One or two more and I think we need to call it a day.”

 

“Do you have a message for your fans?”

 

“Ah, yes I do. I, speaking on behalf of the Backstreet Boys would like to say thank you for your past, present and future support of us and our music. We love you, and we need you now more than ever, and we are going to do the best we can to get better and get back in the game. I hope you can be patient and give us the time we’re going to need. We love you all, and we haven’t forgotten you.” Howie glanced to the person sitting next to him and nodded, signaling he was ready to go.

 

“Ok, ladies and gentlemen. Howie needs to get back and get some rest. Thank you for coming, I hope he was able to answer most of your questions.”

 

There were only mild protests as Howie was escorted out of the hotel. He collapsed into the car with a sigh of relief. “Dr. Westin was right,” he told his mother. I still have a ways to go.” He used the back of his hand to wipe off the few beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead. “But at least its been done. I feel better having gotten the story straight with the public.”

 

Mrs. Dorough smiled at her son from the driver’s seat. “I’m proud of you. That wasn’t an easy thing to do. Certainly no one expected you to go out there and do that when you still aren’t physically healed yet.”

 

“Maybe they didn’t expect it, but they deserved it. We’ve gotten where we are because of the fans, Mom.”

 

“I know. You say that all the time. That’s why I’m proud of you.”  

 

*     *     *

 

A.J. was asleep when Howie returned, but cracked open an eye when he entered their room.

 

“Howie D. I saw you on TV,” he muttered sleepily.

 

“How did I do?”

 

“Better than I would’ve.”

 

“You would have fallen asleep in the middle of it.”

 

“I know.”

 

Howie sensed that there was something wrong, he could see it in his friend’s eyes, but he said nothing.

 

“Have you gone to see Kevin yet?”

 

“No. They said he woke up twice today, and actually stayed awake for about ten minutes or so the last time. They still haven’t told him what happened.”

 

“Was Brian there?”

 

“Naw, Dr. Westin imprisoned him just like he did me. They didn’t like his respiration and he busted open a few of the sutures on his back with all of his moving around. Besides, he’s got to be hurting all over the place. He was more screwed up than I am, and I don’t want to get out of bed. He’s pissed though, of course.”

 

“Naturally.”

 

A.J. grew quiet all of the sudden.

 

“What is it?” Howie asked, his concern mounting.

 

“I’ve got some bad news.”

 

“Is it Nick?” Howie asked immediately.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh God, Nick’s dead,” Howie said growing pale. A torrent of thoughts loosed themselves inside of his head, making him dizzy. No, no, no, no, no. Nick’s not dead, Nick can’t be dead, we’re all going to walk out of here, together, the five of us. Nick can’t be dead…

 

“Damn, Howie, sit down for chrissakes,” A.J. said, alarmed. Howie fumbled for a chair and sat down heavily.

 

“No, Nick isn’t dead, but we need a miracle and we need it now.”

 

“What happened?”

 

A.J. refused to look at him.

 

“A.J., I swear to God, you’d better tell me what the hell happened…”

 

He looked hurt at Howie’s tone, but answered. “They are taking him off the respirator. If his systems don’t kick in and take over when they do, they say he’s going to die,” he said softly.

 

Howie was dumbstruck. “What? Then why the hell are they doing it?”

 

A tear rolled down A.J.’s face. “It was Jane’s decision. She said she doesn’t want him to live like this, and the doctors said that if he doesn’t come around on his own than he won’t come around at all.”

 

“I don’t understand why they would do this,” Howie said in small voice. He sounded almost like a child. It was so unfair, earlier today things had been looking so bright.

 

“You know Nick wouldn’t want to live off of a respirator, Howie. It’s the last thing he would want. It wouldn’t be fair to force him to continue to live like that.”

 

Howie just shook his head, unable to speak.

 

“The doctors say he still has a chance, but not to get our hopes up.”

 

“Does Brian know?” he mumbled.

 

“No, they haven’t told him. Westin is afraid of what he’ll do.”

 

“No shit…” he put his heads in his hands, searching for control. He felt A.J.’s hand reach over to rub his back.

 

“We’ve got to have faith, D. He can still win this.”

 

“When are they doing it?”

 

“Tomorrow morning.”

 

***

 

 

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