You Go, I Go
Part 3
Brian and Kyung exchanged
glances as Lizz moaned quietly. Kyung quickly tucked the paper under her arm. Lizz’s eyes fluttered opened and she looked around the
room, finally focusing on her two visitors.
“How’s Nick?” Lizz
croaked, her throat was dry and scratchy.
Kyung grabbed the glass of
icewater from the bedstand
and placed the straw near Lizz’s mouth.
“Sh-h-h-h, just keep
still, sweetie,” Kyung soothed.
Lizz shook her head
slowly. “No, I need to know!”
The heart monitor started
to ring quickly, indicating that Lizz’s pulse was
racing again. It stopped as fast as it started.
Brian eyed the machine warily.
“Lizz, Nick is just fine, please, you have to concentrate on your own health.”
Brian felt awful about lying to her, but he knew deep down that Lizz would
accept anything he told her and she would quiet down.
Satisfied with Brian’s
reply, Lizz smiled slightly. Her eyes burned, she was so drained of energy, she
almost wanted to give up this whole fight, her body felt weak and tired but
Lizz knew she had to continue on focusing in getting better for Nick, Kyung and
even Brian at this point.
Lizz frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Kyung
asked, the concerned look on her face mirrored Lizz’s
frown.
Lizz looked directly into
Brian’s blue eyes. “How come Nick is alone in his room?”
Brian met Lizz’s stare. “Because he’s sleeping.” Brian wasn’t going
to add any more information but the decided to add an additional piece, “His
folks are in his room with him.”
Lizz noticed the paper
tucked under Kyung’s arm. “Can I see your paper?”
Kyung glanced nervously
over at Brian. “Um, this is an old paper, you’ve probably already read it.”
“Oh, come on, lemme see
it,” Lizz insisted, grabbing the paper out from under Kyung’s arm.
Stunned, Brian and Kyung
waited for Lizz’s reaction to the headlines.
*~*~*~*~*
I have never thought my
mother looked old, but at this moment she looked as if she had aged sixty
years. Her eyes were bloodshot, like Brian’s and I could tell she had been
crying. My dad didn’t look much better. I wanted to say something to reassure
them, but I couldn’t do a damn thing no matter how much I wanted to.
I looked around the room
for that girl from housekeeping.
“Nicky? Sweetheart? What’s
wrong?” Jane asked as she smoothed the blankets up upon Nick’s chest.
God, I wanted to tell her
what had happened with that girl, the photos she took and the things she was
saying. I was growing frustraited and I started
feeling the characteristic feelings of those stupid panic attacks I had been
prone to having. I knew damn well that I wasn’t on the meds I needed to prevent
them. The monitor next to my bed starting it’s steady pinging noise as I
started to feel my heart beating hard against my chest.
“Nick, calm down,” Bob
Carter directed towards his son.
I tried to take my
thoughts away from that housekeeping girl named Terri. I had her face ingrained
in my mind. I would never forget her and I planned on telling someone about her
as soon as I could..... or could I tell someone now? I swallowed hard and concentraited on the girl’s name..... Terri.
“Ma.”
What the hell, that wasn’t
the word I wanted. Was my brain short-circuiting or something? My mom was
appreciative of the word, she was smiling, I, however, was dying inside.
Okay Nick, let’s try this
again, I desperately coached myself. I coughed slightly, trying to clear my
throat.
“Ma.”
“Yes honey, I’m here for
you,” Jane replied with tears in her eyes.
~*~*~*~*~
I stared at the paper, not
believing what I was seeing. On one side it was a picture of Nick in his bed,
unconscious. It was split, with me on the other side. I could see the dialysis
machines in the background. This just happened? I couldn’t even say anything. I
could only stare at the cover. I felt like my heart was breaking into a million
pieces. This wasn’t going to be hiden from anyone.
Who had done this?! Finally I tore my eyes away and looked up at Kyung, then
Brian. They both watched me expectantly. I think they were waiting for me to
start freaking out or get really angry like I knew my temper would let me.
Truth was, at this very moment, I couldn’t. I felt so drained. So broken by it.
A single tear slipped down my cheek.
“Lizz...” Kyung began as
she moved towards me. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I couldn’t do it
right now. I felt so hopeless at that moment. I knew what Kyung was thinking.
She knew that it was my nature to push people away when I was hurting. I didn’t
want to hurt her, but I knew that if she so much as gave me the smallest of
hugs, that I would totally break. I didn’t want to do that. Not in front of
Kyung. Especially not in front of Brian, who looked like he was already
struggling. And more than anything, not for Nick. I had no choice. I had to be
strong. Unfortunately it was getting harder.
~*~*~*~*~
Brain glanced at Kyung.
This was not the reaction that he expected out of Lizz. He had thought she
would break down. Instead she remained calmer that he would have thought
possible. When she had finally looked up at them, he could see it in her eyes.
He could see the pain. His heart literally ached. When Kyung had tried to go
over to Lizz, Lizz shook her head and shut her eyes.
Kyung threw Brian a pained
look. Lizz still was sitting there quietly, eyes closed. Occasionally a tear
would slip out. A few awkward minutes passed and then suddenly her eyes flew
open.
“Oh god! It’s happening
again!” Lizz cried.
“What?!” Kyung jumped up.
Brian’s eyes widened.
The heart monitor started
to beep faster. Kyung stared up at it and watched in amazement and horror as
the rate kept climbing. “Lizz, what’s wrong?” Kyung demanded.
“It’s Nick. Something’s
wrong. Oh god.” Lizz choked out as she clutched her midsection.
Brian shook his head. “He
was sleeping. Lizz, he’s fine.”
Lizz shook her head and
started to throw back the covers. She was trembling. “I don’t know what it is,
but something is wrong! I have to get to his room.”
“I’ll get her nurse.”
Kyung said quickly as she rushed out the door.
Brian nodded as he gently
pushed Lizz back into her pillow. “You aren’t in any position to be getting up.
Lizz, you need to relax. You’re just upset about the paper, okay? Nick is
fine.” Brian tried to convince her.
But Lizz only grew more
upset. “Listen, Brian, it isn’t the paper. It’s different. I don’t know how to
explain it. I just feel it. He’s upset. I can feel it inside him. Oh god, make
it stop!” She whimpered. “I can’t control it! Why is this happening?! What’s
wrong with me?” She moaned. She was starting to gasp for air. She was shaking
like a leaf.
Kyung and two other nurses
burst into the room. One of them exclaimed softly, “she’s doing it again!” The
other pushed a syringe full of sedative into Lizz’s
IV.
Lizz could feel it taking
effect and got even more agitated. “No! You can’t knock me out! I have to stay
awake!” She cried out. Her eyes locked onto Brian. “Go help Nick.” She
whispered urgently.
Brian nodded as Lizz’s eyes fell shut. He risked a glance at Kyung, who
appeared to be fighting tears. The first nurse started to adjust the IV pump
while the second nurse proceeded to ask Kyung what had happened.
At that moment another
nurse poked her head through the door. “Trish, I need your help. Patient in 13
just had another one.”
Without a word, Brian
pushed past the nurse in the doorway and into Nick’s room with Kyung right
behind him. Nick’s heart monitor was beeping wildly. Jane was crying in her
husband’s arms. Brian grabbed Nick’s hand and stared into the all too familiar
look of fear and desperation in Nick’s eyes. It all became too much for Brian
and once again, his world started to spin.
*~*~*~*~*
I laid there helplessly as
I felt Brian’s grip on my hand quickly lessen and then he slipped to the floor.
I desperately wanted to cry out in dispair knowing
that I somehow caused this to happen to Brian, but could only watch the room
start to turn grey.
Nick’s nurse, Bethany
waived smelling salts under Brian’s nose causing him to quickly start to cough.
His eyes fluttered open and he looked at the faces of the people that were bent
over staring at him. He soon realized that he was laying on the floor next to
Nick’s bed.
“Wha... what happened?”
Brian asked quietly.
“You must have fainted,”
“Brian, I hate to say I
told you so, but I told you so,” Kyung reprimanded.
Brian frowned as he looked
at Kyung. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I
mean. You have probably slept what, maybe a total of four hours and you haven’t
eaten anything that I’ve seen yet. Brian you are making yourself sick, you have
to slow down. I know I’m not the best person in a position to be a critic, but
hell, at least I’m trying to eat something.
As he stood up, Brian
noticed immediately how shaky his legs were. He tried to will them into
stopping, but it didn’t work too well. Fortunately for him, the chair was right
there and he collapsed into it.
A nurse named Monica
brought in some icewater for Brian to sip on. As he
took it into his hands, it accidentally slipped from his fingers and fell to
the floor spilling the contents onto the floor.
Brian stared at the floor,
looking at the ice and water laying in front of him.
“Sit tight, I’ll call
housekeeping,” Kyung stated as she turned to leave the room.
“Son, you are not doing
yourself on bit of good forcing yourself. Nick is going to get better, I’m sure
of it, but nothing good will come out of this if you wind up in a hospital bed
as well,” Bob Carter softly reprimanded Brian.
A girl dressed in flowered
scrubs entered the room with a mop and a bucket. Brian glanced at her hospital
ID badge. The girl’s name was Terri.
“I’m sorry about the
mess,” Brian sheepishly apologized.
Terri smiled at Brian.
“That’s okay, it’s my job to clean this up, don’t worry about it.”
Terri looked at Brian
closely. She noticed that he was extremely pale and his hands were shaking. As
she continued to mop up the water, she decided to ask questions.
“I see you’re shaking,
something happen in here?”
Brian looked down at his
hands and then immediately folded them under his arms. “No, nothing.”
“Oh, you cold or
something?”
“Terri! Are you about done
here? I don’t think you need to interrogate people about how they spilled
something,” Kyung reprimanded.
Terri shrugged her
shoulders. “Just trying to make conversation, that’s all.” She glanced around
the room looking briefly at Nick, laying still in his bed. Terri noticed the
Carter’s standing near the bed, his mother smoothing his hair back and his
father holding one of Nick’s hands.
“Would it be okay if I got
a picture taken with you Brian? I mean, I’m really a big fan of Backstreet and
no one is gonna believe that I cleaned up your water. I got a camera right here
in my pocket,” Terri said as she produced a disposable pocket sized camera.
Both Kyung and Brian
stared at the camera and then looked at each other.
~*~*~*~*~
The disturbed look on
Kyung’s face mirrored the feelings that Brian felt. The name on the girl from
housekeeping’s badge looked familiar to Brian. So had her face for that matter.
Due to his exhausted state of mind, however, he couldn’t place her. Kyung
turned her attention back to the girl, Terri.
“I don’t think that is
very appropriate to ask right now.” She said with a twinge of annoyance.
Monica looked up from
Nick’s IV pump, which she was adjusting. She couldn’t believe that Terri had
the gaul to ask Brian for a picture when it was
obvious he was upset. She risked a glance at Nick’s parents and they looked
mildly disgusted. Monica had seen the Enquiror that
morning and she couldn’t believe that Terri had actually gone through with it.
“I’m sorry, I just thought
I would ask.” Terri shrugged, not sounding very sorry. She dropped the mop back
into the bucket and pushed it out of the room.
Brian let out a shaky
breath. “Why did she have a camera in her pocket?” He asked uneasily.
Kyung shook her head.
“Something doesn’t seem right about that. There was something about her
attitude...” She started.
Monica jumped in. “Oh, she
mentioned earlier that she had to get some pictured developed for her mom.” She
was shocked with herself. Why the hell was she trying to cover up Terri’s
actions? They were wrong.
Kyung looked at her
skeptically. “You know her?” She looked at Brian and his eyebrows were raised.
“Oh, um, we’re friends.”
She mumbled. “I’m sorry about the whole asking for a picture thing. That was
uncalled for. I will talk to her.” She added hastily as she hurried out of the
room.
Out in the hall, Monica
spotted Terri going around the corner to get on an elevator. She ran to catch
up with her. “Terri, I just saved your ass. Now give me that damned camera!”
She ordered.
Terri stared at her.
“Forget it, I just bought it.”
Monica frowned. “You told
me you just took a whole bunch of pictures last night.”
“I did and I sent them off
this morning. Along with some other stuff.” She stated smugly.
Monica tried to put this all
together. “Okay, let me get this straight. What about the ones that I saw in
that paper this morning?”
“That roll is done and
gone. I bought a new roll after that and I just sent that one off this morning.
I forgot my camera so I bought thisone.” She pointed
to her disposable camera.
Monica shook her head in
disbelief. “What other stuff were you talking about?” She was almost afraid to
ask.
Terri grinned. “You know
that he had a panic attack right?”
Monica nodded, feeling
sick.
“Well, the weirdest thing
happened. That other girl had one too. I copied the notes in their charts that
were about that. They didn’t make it in by the deadline, but it will go out in
their next paper. And get this, it just happened again. They were just talking
about it in the nurses station! Isn’t that unreal?!” Terri was bubbling with
excitement.
Monica was speechless. How
could she have just tried to stand up for her? How did she become such good
friends with her? And now, why couldn’t she tell anyone what Terri was doing?
~*~*~*~*~
“Brian, pushing the food
around on the plate doesn’t count as eating.” Kyung scolded. He looked up at
her and smiled tiredly. “Busted.”
They were sitting in the
cafeteria, much to Brian’s protests. Kyung had finally convinced him, telling
him that both Nick and Lizz would be out for awhile. Not to mention that Nick’s
parents were there and they would also let them know if anything happened with
Lizz. Kyung studied him carefully. He was still paler than a ghost and shaky.
His eyes looked hollow and tired.
“Have Nick’s parents seen
the Enquiror?” Kyung asked quietly.
Brian shook his head. “I
can’t imagine what that is going to do to them.”
“I know. That thing only
came out this morning and I can already see the damage. I called home to check
our messages and there was one on there from Julia, one of our close friends
back home. She had planned on coming down to see Lizz. Now she isn’t. I called
her back to see what was up. She said that the more she has thought about this,
the more that it upsets her and she really doesn’t want to see Lizz right now.”
Brian’s eyes widened.
“Does she know how...how bad Lizz is?” He asked carefully.
Kyung looked down. “She
knows. I don’t know how to tell Lizz. It’s really going to hurt her.”
“This just keeps getting
worse and worse.” Brian muttered as he pushed his food around a little more.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung was on her way back
up to check on Lizz. Brian was, of course, back with Nick. Any time during that
day that she had a moment’s peace, she went to check on Lizz. Her nurse just
paged Kyung to tell her that Lizz was waking up finally.
Just as she was about to
go into Lizz’s room a man in scrubs stopped her.
Kyung recognized him as Lizz’s doctor.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Saxton.
You’re Kyung right?” He stuck out his hand.
Kyung nodded and shook his
hand.
“Have you had any luck
contacting her parents?” He asked solemnly.
“No, they went on a trip
and Lizz doesn’t know the number of where they will be staying. Is something
wrong?”
The doctor frowned. “Well,
I am a little discouraged by her lack of recovery. The Albuterol she consumed
seems to have done more extensive damage then we had previously surmised.”
Kyung wasn’t sure she was
following him right. Lizz wasn’t getting better?
“She didn’t take the
dialysis very well. Of course she is on the transplant list, but that could
take months to years. She doesn’t have that time, I’m afraid. Her health was
already in a precarious state and now this may take her over the edge. It is
imperative that she get a transplant very soon.” He stated gravely.
Kyung could only nod and
mumble a “thanks.” As soon as the doctor left she sank against the wall, tears
falling down her face. She didn’t know how she could handle losing Lizz. She
had noticed that Lizz didn’t seem to be doing a whole lot better, but she
figured that it would just take time. She hadn’t allowed herself to even
consider that Lizz could die. She knew she should go in and talk to Lizz, but
couldn’t. Not yet.
Instead she walked two
doors down and knocked on Nick’s door. The security guard had come accustomed
to Kyung and gave her a nod.
“Come in.”
She pushed open the door.
Bob and Jane looked up at her with concern, seeing her tear-stained face. Brian
was sitting on the edge of Nick’s bed. Nick’s eyes were open, but of course he
wasn’t moving or talking. Brian glanced at Kyung and then did a double take.
“What’s wrong?” He asked
in alarm.
Kyung started to tell him,
but before she could get a word out, she dissolved into tears.
Brian stood up and held
Kyung in his arms. She broke down into sobs and he was at a loss as how to
comfort her.
“It’s.... it’s Lizz,”
Kyung whimpered. “She’s...... she’s not getting ba.... better,” Kyung sighed,
her breath sounded shaky.
Brian held her by her
shoulders. “Calm down, take a deep breath,” he coached.
Kyung nodded and slowly
exhaled. When she felt she was ready, she began to speak again. “Lizz needs a
kidney transplant. The albuterol caused extensive damage to her kidneys.”
Brian’s mouth dropped
open. He couldn’t believe this was happening. One stupid stunt that Nick had
pulled was dragging someone along with him. He took a glance towards Nick,
remembering he was awake and wondered if he understood and heard what was being
said.
Brian’s heart sank when he
looked at Nick. Tears were slipping down his cheeks, indicating that he not
only heard about Lizz, but that he understood it as well. Jane kept rubbing
Nick’s shoulder, talking to him in a soothing voice, everyone in the room was
afraid that this news would produce another panic attack.
Deciding that this was the
best time, if ever, to request the group that was present in the room to join
hands in a prayer for Lizz, Brian bowed his head.
~*~*~*~*~
It was a few hours after I
had heard the news about Lizz. I still couldn’t get over it. I had caused this
because of my selfishness. There was only one way to fix it, but I couldn’t
tell anybody of my intentions because I couldn’t speak. I was beginning to hate
this body I was trapped in more and more.
My parents were in the
room, sitting by the foot of my bed. They were softly talking so it was hard
for me to understand what was being said by them.
A woman entered my room
wearing really loud greenish colored scrubs. “Hi, my name is Carol and I’m from
speech therapy,” the woman stated in an overly cheerful voice.
My parents attempted to
leave the room, but Carol insisted that they stay. She turned her attention
back towards me and pulled out big white cards with black drawings on one side
of them.
“Okay Nick, we’re gonna
try a simple exercise right now, just to test your range capabilites,”
Carol stated as she stacked the cards on my bed stand. “I am going to show you
a picture on a card and you have to tell me what it is. Are you ready?”
I managed to nod my head
ever-so-slightly. The first picture she showed me was a ball. Easy word, I
thought to myself. I sucked my lower lip in as I concentrated on the word. “Baaaaaaaawl.”
Okay that sounded close
but it didn’t sound like my voice at all. I looked over at my parent’s to see
their reaction to my speech. My mother looked upset, she put her hand to her
mouth and then she stood up and rushed out of the room, my father was close
behind her.
Carol had watched the
Carter’s rush out of the room, obviously upset with how their son was doing,
but she decided it was best to continue Nick’s therapy. Taking another card
from the deck, she held it in front of his face.
Nurse Barbara McKean was
walking past the ICU rooms on her way to Dr. Minnick’s office. She paused
outside the door of Nick’s room. She could hear the speech therapist working
with him. When Nick tried for the third time to pronouce
a simple word properly, Nurse McKean knew that something had to be said to
someone about what Dr. Minnick had done.
The more she thought about
it, the more she was losing courage in doing something. The words about the
screw up with Baby Boy Johnson rang in her ears. She clenched her fists and
shook her head as if to clear the toughts from her
mind.
“Baaaaaawl.”
“Good Nick, let’s try this
one now.”
Nurse McKean closed her
eyes tightly, she wanted to shut out the sounds coming from that patient. She
knew that this was an unnecessary tragedy.
“Hi, is there something I
can help you with?”
A young man’s voice with a
hint of a southern accent spun Barbara McKean from her thoughts. She turned
around quickly to acknowledge the voice and found herself face to face with
Brian Littrell.
~*~*~*~*~
The last thing that was on
my mind when I went unconscious was Nick. It was the same when I woke back up.
I knew after that panic attack that something was wrong. Much to my dismay, I
was knocked out before anyone could tell me what was wrong.
Judging by the light that
was trying to shine through my blinds, considerable time had passed. It was
dark when I was knocked out. I had been awake for about forty fiveinutes and still, no Kyung. My nurse paged her for me,
but I guess she was caught up in something. I tried to wait patiently. It
wasn’t like I could go anywhere anyway.
“Lizz?” Kyung opened the
door softly. She walked in and gingerly sat down on the edge of the bed. She
didn’t say anything, but the tears were words enough. I don’t know how I knew,
but I knew that it wasn’t Nick that was making her cry. It was me.
“Kyung, please don’t cry
for me.” I whispered. I hated how weak my voice sounded.
“But...” She started, but
I could see that she was having a hard time with what she was trying to say. She
bowed her head.
“Sweetie, I know.” I said
softly.
She looked up in surprise.
“H...how?” She stuttered.
I smiled sadly. “I just
know. I can feel it.”
She raised her eyebrows
and new tears welled up in her brown eyes.
“Hey, hey now. Don’t worry
hun, I’m not giving up. I am going to fight this until the end. Whatever that
end is. But I am not going to give up okay? You know me and you know that I am
too damned stubborn to just let this win, right?” I squeezed her hand.
She nodded. “Still,
Lizzie, I can’t lose you...” She stopped and buried her head in her hands. I
could hear her trying to muffle her cries.
I don’t know how I
managed, but I pushed myself up and wrapped my arms around her. I was trying so
hard to be brave and being the strong one at this moment was not making it any
easier. So, I began to cry too.
~*~*~*~*~
Brian immediately saw that
the nurse was upset. Shaken might have been the more accurate term. She was
standing outside Nick’s door and she seemed to be fighting a battle within
herself. She looked like she wanted to be as far awy
from here as possible, but on the other hand, she looked almost as if she
couldn’t tear herself away from whatever held her there. Something told Brian
that this wasn’t just a nosy hospital employee and upon closer inspection, he
recognized her as the nurse that accompanied the doctor that had relayed the
horrible news about Nick. She wore a simialar
expression then too. It was a mix of guilt, horror, regret, compassion, and
profound sadness. Brian reached out and gently touhed
her arm. “Is everything okay?”
She recoiled as if struck.
The expression on her face changed and now all that was shown was fear.
Barbara could only stand
there. This is your chance! Her mind screamed at her. You can’t just pretend
that nothing ever happened. You have a responsibility to do what is right!
“I, uh...” Barbara
stammered. What about Baby Boy Johnson? Do you want to lose your job? She
argued with herself.
The look in this poor
boy’s eyes that was standing in front of her! She could see what this was doing
to him. He was watching someone he loved very much slip away from him and there
was nothing he could do about it. But you can! But then Dr. Minnick’s cruel,
hard voice echoed in her mind. "Remember the Baby Boy Johnson case? You
were at fault in that one by your own mistakes, so you see, Nurse McKean, I am
not going down alone, I will take anyone I can with me."
"I...I'm sorry."
She whispered before turning around sharply and practically running down the hall.
Before Brian could even say anything, she had disappeared out the ICU doors. He
started to go into Nick's room, but something told him not to let this go.
~*~*~*~*~
Fianlly Kyung's tears had subsided and we broke apart. I
really felt horrible now, making her cry like that. She never cries. We sat
there quietly for a few minutes.
Finally I spoke up.
"Kyung, I want to know what is happening with Nick. I know that there is
more going on with him than you and Brian will tell me. I need to know."
She looked pained.
"We just didn't want you to get upset."
I gave her a look.
"Come on, I had two panic attacks that I know had something to do with
him. Not knowing what is going on is killing me here."
She sighed. "Lizz,
Nick had a stroke. The neurologist said it was caused by the last seizure he
had. His movement is very limited and he can't really talk."
I could have sworn a piece
of my heart broke just then. "Is he aware of his surroundings and
stuff?" I whispered.
Kyung thought back to his
reaction when she had broken the news about the lack of Lizz's
recovery. "Yeah, he is."
I nodded slowly. It was
taking all of my self control to not completely fall apart. The thought of that
happening to Nick was killing me. I should have been able to stop it! "I
want to see him." I knew it was a long shot, but hell.
Not surprisingly, Kyung
shook her head. "Sweetie, you don't have near the strength for that."
"Then you might as
well just move me into his room because that is where I plan on being until he
gets better." I said.
"Lizz, be real."
She frowned at me.
"I am being real. I
need to be there. You know full well that I will get myself in there with or
without anyone's help. I've done it twice before." My stubborness
was definitely showing.
"It is against
hospital policy and you know that. You just plain don't have the strength right
now. You need to focus on getting better and resting." She was getting
stressed now.
"Well they need to
bend their policy then! I won't be able to rest if I am going to be constantly
worried about him. And you know that." I wasn't going to let this go.
Finally she relented.
"Okay, I will take you in there for awhile, but as soon as you even start
to feel like you are going to pass out or like you need to lay down, you tell
me! Cause if something happens to you in there, I guarantee you that I will not
let you out of this bed again!" She looked so forceful that I had to
smile. I don't think I ever had a friend so protective as Kyung.
"I don't know what
you are smiling about. I am not happy with you doing this." She frowned at
me.
I made a "pissed
off" face to mock hers and she finally smiled back.
"You are a
punk." She informed me as she got the portable oxygen tank ready. She gave
me a look as if to warn me not to argue about the oxygen, but she didn't have
to worry about that. After that she went and told my nurse the plan and then
came back in to help me into the wheelchair.
Just as she was unplugging
the IV pump from the outlet, there was a knock on the door. Without waiting for
an answer, Brian let himself in.
"Kyung, I
need..." He started breathlessly. He stopped midsentence
when he saw me in the wheelchair. "What's going on?" He asked,
frowning.
"She won't give up.
Brian, I honestly tried, but she is so damned stubborn." Kyung rolled her
eyes at me.
I gave him an innocent
smile and he just shook his head.
"Lizz, you aren't
doing yourself any good." He scolded gently.
I shrugged. "Doesn't
matter."
Kyung shot him a look as
if to say "see?!"
"Since you are here,
you can help me get her, the oxygen tank, and her IV pole to his room."
Kyung informed Brian.
Brian laughed. "Glad
to see I am useful for something." Then he sobered. "Actually, I need
you to help me. I need you to help me find a nurse. Her name is Barbara."
Kyung and I glanced at
each other. A sense of urgency was written all over Brian's face.
"Why? What's going
on?" I asked him.
"I don't know, but
for some reason, I think she might be able to tell us."
~*~*~*~*~
Barbara McKean closed her
eyes as she leaned against the wall inside Dr. Minnick’s office. When she
opened her eyes, she was greeted face to face with her reflection in the curio
cabinet that was in the corner of the room. She was fighting the demons inside
of her mind. One was telling her to walk away and forget this ever happened,
the other telling her to talk to that friend of the patient’s and explain the
error of the medication that Dr. Minnick had given.
Barbara shook her head as
if to clear her mind. She slipped her purse off of her shoulder and opened her
bottom desk drawer. As she went to close the drawer, she noticed the shakiness
of her hands and clasped them together to try and still them.
Picking up the phone, she
dialed the extension to the ICU nurse’s station.
“Three west, this is
Monica.”
“This is Nurse McKean, Dr.
Minnick would like the chart to the patient in ICU-13, can it be delivered to
his office stat or do I need to come down?” Barbara swallowed hard, she knew
her voice was shaky but she was praying that it wouldn’t give her away.
“I can have someone bring
it down right away,” Monica replied as she walked over and pulled the chart and
handed it to the LPN that was standing near her. “Take this to Dr. Minnick’s
nurse, stat,” she told the nurse. “She’s on her way.”
“Thank you,” Barbara
replied and hung the phone up.
Only a few moments passed
when there was a soft knock on the office door.
“Come in,” Nurse McKean ordered.
A young nurse wearing blue scrubs peeked her face around the door, holding a
silver clipboard
“I have the chart you
requested,” she said with a smile.
Barbara held her hand out
and the young nurse gave it to her. “Just call the station when you are done
with it and someone will come down and get it.”
Barbara managed a thin
smile and nodded. Once the girl left the office, she quickly flipped open the
chart and thumbed through it to the doctor’s notes and progress reports.
~*~*~*~*~
Brian pushed Lizz down the
hall towards Nick’s room. Kyung walk along side the wheel chair guiding the IV
pump. Lizz was thinking to herself about how much she hated having the oxygen
on her face but she knew she couldn’t argue with Kyung anyway. She also knew that
Nick more than likely would have oxygen on as well.
“Nick’s parents went back
to the hotel for a bit so I am guess that he’s probably sleeping right now,”
Brian said in an apologetic tone.
“That’s okay, I don’t care
if he’s sleeping, I just need to see him,” Lizz insisted.
Lizz could feel her heart
beating rapidly as they entered Nick’s room. All she could think of was the
typical visions of stroke victims, that his face would be drooping on one side,
slurred speech, the whole package. As her eyes rested
on his face, she found him not to look like any of the images her mind had
allowed. Nick looked just like Nick, just asleep.
The IV pump started
beeping and Kyung quickly scrambled to silence it. Nick’s eyes fluttered open
when he heard the scuffling from Kyung’s feet on the tile. He smiled slightly
at Lizz and then frowned.
“I know, she is so damned
stubborn Nick, she insisted that she come to see you,” Brian explained.
“Hey Nick, how are you
feeling?” Lizz asked softly.
I licked my lips, I wanted
to say something to Lizz but I knew I wasn’t capable. I didn’t want to upset
her. I just smiled again hoping that she would just leave it at that.
Unfortunately, she wouldn’t let it go at that.
“I hear your parent’s have
been here.”
I managed a slight nod.
“I told Kyung that they
should allow us to stay in a room together because both you and I are worried
about each other,” Lizz said staring at Nick’s face. “Aren’t you gonna say
anything?”
Shit, I knew she wouldn’t
just take simple smiles and nods as talking to her. I really didn’t want to say
anything because any word I wanted to say didn’t come out and lately any word I
did form was not a very pleasant one. I about died a few hours ago when I said
‘fuck off’ to my mother. She about died. Lizz was still being persistant.
“Come on Nick, just one
word, please?”
Brian placed a hand on Lizz’s shoulder. “I really don’t think this is a good time
right now.”
“Why not? I know about the
stroke I’m sure his speech has been affected, but I just want him to say
something,” Lizz persisted.
Okay, one word and she
would get off my back about speaking. I wanted to tell her that I was feeling
better. I formed the sentance in my mind. I took a
deep breath in, “Shit you bitch.”
The reaction on Lizz’s face told me that she definately
wasn’t expecting that from my mouth. To be honest, neither was I.
“Lizz, the thought process
in his brain is twisted right now, he didn’t mean to say that,” Kyung quickly
replied.
Lizz tried to blink the
tears away from her eyes. She didn’t want Nick to see her cry but this was
upsetting to think that he couldn’t even talk a small sentance.
“I know,” she managed to whisper. She looked back up at Nick’s face only to see
tears slipping down his cheeks.
Lizz reached out and took
Nick’s hand and squeezed it tightly.
~*~*~*~*~
"I think I upset him,
maybe I should go back." I looked back at Brian and Kyung. But before they
could answer, Nick squeezed my hand. I turned back to him and he was shaking
his head slowly. I nodded. "Okay."
Brian and Kyung exchanged
looks. "Lizz, Kyung and I need to go find that Barbara nurse. Will you be
okay in here for a little bit?" He asked me.
"I'll be fine."
I thought I was doing a pretty good job hiding my exhaustion.
"Call your nurse if
you need to go lay down. And remember what I said. If you pass out or anything,
I am not letting you out of that bed again." Kyung said sternly.
I smiled. "I know, I
know." Brian and Kyung left and it was just Nick and I.
"I'm sorry that I
kept pushing you to say something. I shouldn't have done that. I know you
didn't mean what you said okay? Please don't cry." I said softly.
He gave me a small smile.
Then his eyes got a questioning look. I knew he didn't want to try to talk
again though.
"Are you wanting to
know what they are doing?" I asked him, gesturing towards where Kyung and
Brian just went off to.
He nodded.
"Well, I'm not
totally sure. Brian came rushing into my room all anxious to go find some nurse
named Barbara. He said that she might be able to tell us what is going on,
whatever that means." I explained. That made me realize that I had no idea
what Brian was talking about either. I glanced up at Nick and he got that look
again. Then he squeezed my hand again. Shit, I hope he wasn't trying to ask
about me.
"So, uh, I saw TRL
the other day. You would have..." I stopped when Nick squeezed my hand
again. This time harder. I looked at him and he locked his eyes onto mine. He
wasn't going to let this go, just like I wouldn't let his not talking go. I
sighed. How could I tell him that I didn't have much time left unless I got a
transplant.
"I'm doing
better." I said carefully.
He narrowed his eyes and
shook his head. Shit! He knew? I lowered my head, feeling the tears come again.
~*~*~*~*~
"Okay, now why do you
think that Barbara knows what's going on?" Kyung asked Brian as they
headed towards the nurses station.
"When I was going
back into Nick's room I saw her standing out in front of it. I can't begin to
describe the expression on her face. She looked torn. When I started to talk to
her she looked like she wanted to tell me something, but then suddenly she got
scared and ran down the hall. It was really strange." Brian explained.
Kyung pondered that.
"You know, she is Dr. Minnick's nurse. She has been working under him for
a long time, as far as I know. Isn't Dr. Minnick one of the doctors working
with Nick? Like with the induced coma?"
Brian nodded slowly.
Things were starting to click, but there were still too many missing pieces.
"Something's not right with all this."
"I agree." Kyung
said. They reached the nurses station and Kyung went to go talk to Monica. She
returned a moment later smiling.
"What?" Brian
asked anxiously.
"She is in his
office." Kyung grinned smugly.
They headed down there
quickly and stopped in front of the door. Brian lifted his hand to knock.
"Please...what...are
doing...wrong! Do...damage...this boy's..." The distressed voice froze
Brian's fist mid-air.
"What the..." He
murmured. Kyung looked just as shocked as he was.
"I...haven't...anything."
The voice rose. "I need to go take care of my patient now!" Then the
noise of a phone slamming down was heard and Brian and Kyung looked at each
other.
"Now what?"
Kyung whispered.
Before Brian could
respond, the door was flung open and Brian and Kyung found themselves staring
at a very surprised Barbara.
Barbara found herself in a
panic when she came face to face with Brian and Kyung. Without thinking, she
quickly tried to slam the door shut in their faces but was met with resistance
as Brian placed his hand against the door, preventing it from closing.
“We need to talk,” Brian
said in a calm, even voice.
Barbara McKean hung her
head. “I know. Please, come in.”
She opened the door to her
office and directed Brian and Kyung to a small sofa in the adjoining office
which Brian and Kyung assumed to be Dr. Minnick’s office.
“I... I don’t know where
to begin exactly.”
“The beginning is always a
good place to start,” Brian suggested with a slight smile.
Nurse McKean let out a
slow, even breath and closed her eyes. The ticking of the grandfather clock in
the corner broke the uncomfortable silence, as if to mock them.
“I have been Dr. Minnick’s
staff nurse for over twenty years. We first worked together in his office and
then in the emergency room here at the hospital. When Dr. Minnick decided to
open a neuro office in the hospital, I jumped at the chance to join his
practice.” Barbara stopped and shifted nervously in her seat.
“Okay, you said neuro, so
we’re assuming that doctor was assigned to Nick’s case for the induced coma?”
Kyung asked, hoping to stimulate some answers from the nurse.
She nodded her head. “Dr.
Minnick is tops in this field. He has done this job for years error free until
now,” Barabara’s voice trailed off.
Brian placed a hand on the
nurse’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”
Barbara looked up and
quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. Brian’s eyes locked onto hers. She
quickly looked away, not wishing to look into his eyes and see the pain that
losing his friend was causing him.
“Please, just tell us, we
will protect you if that’s what you’re afraid of,” Brian begged in a calm
voice.
Barbara shook her head.
“I’m afraid to. I could lose everything----”
“Nick has already lost
pretty much his life dammit, you have something
you’re hiding and we need to know,” Kyung spat out. She ignored the pleading
looks that Brian was giving her. She knew that he disapproved of her going in
with both feet and not looking but Kyung didn’t care. She needced
to get to the bottom of this. It was affecting Lizz therefore it was affecting
her as well.
“Okay, alright,” Nurse
McKean quietly pleaded. She reached behind her and pulled a tissue out of the
box on Dr. Minnick’s oak desk and dabbed her eyes with it. She took in a deep
breath and slowly began her explanation.
“When Dr. Minnick was
called for consult on your friend Nick, I pretty much logged this case as one
that would be routine. They had Nick prepped for the induction and everything
appeared to go smoothly. I noticed doctor seemed to be rather arrogant or
flamboyant on this particular case, which is not typical for doctor to be. He
is always very methodical about every case he is on but for some reason things
were crashing around him and he didn’t seem to know how to go about repairing
things.”
“Things? What kind of
things?” Brian pressed for more answers.
“Well, um, as they were
injecting the meds on the patient, his BP soared to a dangerously high rate,”
Barbara stated.
“Exactly how high was it?”
Kyung asked.
“I recall once his blood
pressure was 245/123.”
Kyung gasped. Brian looked
at Kyung and then back at the nurse.
Just as Nurse McKean was
going to talk about her findings in Nick’s chart, the door to the office swung
open and Dr. Minnick entered the room.
“Who do we have here?”
“This is just family of
your patient in ICU, Bobby McMasters,” Barbara lied.
Brian looked at her face,
puzzled. He couldn’t understand why this nurse was still covering for the
doctor.
“I will keep you informed
of your brother’s progress later. Thanks for stopping, we are happy to see
family involved in a patient’s recovery. Nurse McKean flashed a look of
desperation at Brian. She tried her best to brush them off.
Brian was done playing
games with this nurse. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I want to
know what is going on with Nick Carter. We need answers and we need them NOW!”
~*~*~*~
I looked at Lizz feeling
awful knowing that I couldn’t reach out and hold her while she was hurting. I
wanted to ask her questions, dammit, I needed to ask
her questions, but I was unable to communicate with her.
“I... I am o... okay,”
Lizz stammered through her tears.
I managed to squeeze her
hand again, willing her to look into my eyes.
Lizz looked up at Nick and
met his gaze. All sorts of thoughts were flooding through her mind. Their
situation and how it could have been different if she had logged online an hour
before he got so damned desperate. She knew there was nothing she could do
about it now. Here she was stuck with kidneys that were failing her and Nick
laying in bed trapped in a body that wouldn’t work for him.
“We do make a pathetic
couple right now, ya know?” Lizz joked.
I managed a slight smile
back at her. I appreciated that she still could keep a sense of humor about
her. God knows we needed that.
As I looked in the doorway
to see who was coming into my room, my heart sank. It was that girl that had
been in the other day and started taking pictures. I remembered her. How could
I communicate this to Lizz? I mentally cursed myself and tried to think of
something to say to get her to leave.
The monitors next to my
bed started to sound alarms, I knew my heart was racing, I couldn’t help it. I
wanted to shout at this girl.
Terri nonchalantly entered
the room. She had gone to a novelty store on her lunch hour and bought a camera
that she could rig inside her scrubs. She placed her hand on the button and
started clicking away at the couple, hoping that she was getting this on film.
“GET OWT,” I managed to
yell, suprised at how thick my voice sounded and how
garbled.
“Oh my god, your voice!
You can’t talk can you?” Terri asked, a shocked tone in her voice. “This is
going to be more money for sure.”
Lizz narrowed her eyes at
the girl. “So you’re the one.”
Terri spun around towards
Lizz. “So what if I am? Not a whole hell of a lot you can do about it is there.
Just look at you! You are one foot away from taking a dirt nap,” Terri hissed.
I stared at this girl.
What the hell was Lizz talking about her being the one? How would she know that
this girl took pictures of me?
“And you are one foot away
from prision bitch!” Lizz shouted.
I still couldn’t figure
out what was going on. Then she said something that I knew would change my life
forever.
“The National Enquirer
paid me top dollar for this story and I am going to keep sending them stuff and
there is nothing you can do to stop me!”
I suddenly felt sick to my
stomach. Lizz was trying to get out of her chair and I couldn’t stop her. My
heart felt like it was going to explode, I tried to calm myself down, but
nothing was working....nothing at all.
“ELIZABETH HULFORD! WHAT
DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Kyung shouted as she and Brian entered the room.
Terri tried to quickly
slip out of the room behind Brian. Lizz was about to yell out for someone to
stop her, but Brian recognized her and realized something was not right.
“Whoa there, I think you
have some explaining to do,” Brian ordered, his voice was unnaturally low.
~*~*~*~*~
"What did you tell
them?" Dr. Minnick glared at Barbara, his voice full of menace.
"N...nothing. I
d...didn't tell them anything!" Barbara cried.
"Oh really? Then why
was that boy asking about Nick Carter if he was family of Bobby McMasters?" He snarled.
"I...I don't know.
May...maybe he was just being curious." Barbara's voice was shaking. She
was terrified that this would be the end of her job. Then she realized that she
wasn't sure she even wanted to work under Dr. Minnick anymore. The man before
her was not the same person she had known for the past twenty years. Or was it
possible that she had been wrong about him all this time? That made her angry.
"Right! You expect me
to believe that line of bullshit?" He sneered.
"I don't care what
you believe! How do you think it looked when you ordered them out of here like
that? 'Get out of here before I call security?!' How obvious was that?!"
She shot back.
Dr. Minnick raised his
eyebrows at her tone. Then he spoke in a low, intimidating voice. "You
know full well that your job is on the line here. Now I want to know, what
exactly did you tell them?”
~*~*~*~*~
I was shaking. I did that
when I got really really angry. Right now I was
livid. The shaking might also have to do with the fact that I was standing up,
but I ignored that. I was going to walk over to her and beat the shit out of
her, so help me!
Terri just stood there and
stared at Brian. Then she tried to look past him and looked as if she was going
to dart from the room. Kyung was blocking the door though. I knew for a fact
that there was no way that she was going to let her pass.
"I'm waiting."
Brian said in that same unnerving voice. It even shocked me to hear him talk
like that.
Terri crossed her arms and
smirked. "Don't you remember me from the other day? I came in and cleaned
up the water that you spilled. Oh, that's right! You looked so pathetic that it
makes sense that you didn't recognize me. What's wrong? Pass out a few times
yourself?" Brian widened his eyes.
My jaw dropped.
"Bitch!" I hissed. I started to take a step forward. At the same time
Kyung yelled out "LIZZ SIT DOWN!" I felt a hand grab my arm. It was
Nick. I didn't have much of a choice anyway. My legs weren't supporting me
anymore. I sank into the chair and tried to suck in the oxygen that I was
wearing.
Satisfied that I wasn't
going to fall, Kyung directed her attention to Terri. She walked up to her and
got into her face.
"You just made a very
big mistake. Not only are you going to have a huge lawsuit against your ass,
but now you aren't going to have a job to pay all that money. And then to top
it off, I am going to knock the shit out of you because you pissed me off.
Terri only grinned.
"You're forgetting all the money that the Enquiror
is paying me for these pictures."
Without warning, Brian
reached over and grabbed the camera from her hands.
"Give that
back!" Terri yelled. "Not like it matters anyway. The whole world
knows now. There is enough pictures published already and the next edition will
have even more. Say 'bye bye' Backstreet Boys! Ya know, even if he lives, she
probably won't and then he will feel guilty and just try to kill himself again
anyway." She threw her hands towards Nick and I.
I looked at Nick and I
could see the anger and misery in his eyes as plain as day. She had just
answered the question that was in his eyes. Now he knew about the pictures.
"Fuck you." I snapped at her.
"You make me sick.
How can you work in a hospital where people are sick and dying and be so cold?
Do you have any idea how many people's lives you have affected?! Not just ours,
but the millions of others. Did you see the look on his poor mother's face as
she is watching this happen to her son? Obviously not, you hearltess
bitch! Have you seen the hundreds of people that are outside crying their eyes
out because someone they look up to and admire is up here fighting for his
life?! How can you only think of money, of your own profit, at the expense of
so many people's suffering? How can one person be so sick?" Brian asked
her. The look on his face said it all. He was heartsick that anyone could be
like that. It was almost beyond his comprehension. I understood that because I
didn't believe it myself. I knew there were evil people out there, but this
bad?
Kyung put a hand on
Brian's shoulder. "You're wasting your time even asking her that."
She said bitterly.
Brian only shook his head.
His anger a few moments ago nearly consumed him and for a time, he couldn't
even talk. Now he felt more drained than he could ever remember. "Call
security." He said to Kyung.
Everything started to look
funny now. Hazy or something. I think I wasn't getting enough oxygen. Nick was
still holding my hand from when he grabbed it before. It sorta dawned on me
that he had done that. He hadn't made a sudden movement like that since I had
been in here. He squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. At least I think I
was looking at him. Everything was sort of blurry. "Nick." I
whispered. Even my own voice seemed far away. He looked at me with panicked
eyes and then at Brian and Kyung who were dealing with Terri. It got harder to
breathe and I started to slump over. I couldn't fight it.
~*~*~*~*~
Barbara stood and stared
at Dr. Minnick for a few moments. She tried to quickly think of something to
tell him to supress his already building anger. She
then decided it was foolish to even protect this doctor. She decided now was
the time to confront him.
“I was looking in his
chart and I found some pretty interesting facts, doctor,” Barbara carefully
started out.
Dr. Minnick glard. “Facts?”
“When you were sedating
that patient, you used Espediene instead of Experdene. Very similar named drugs except one effects the
central nervous system differently,” Nurse McKean explained.
“Yeah, so your point?”
“So? Doctor, you knew
about the error several hours after the procedure yet you continued to look the
other way!”
“I still don’t see your
point in this, nurse,” Dr. Minnick spat.
“The point is that you are
making this poor boy suffer needlessly. The longer those meds are in his
system, the more permanent the damage will be. You are taking away his
lifestyle and slowly killing him. This can be reversed if you allow it to,
please I beg you, stop this now!”
“I could lose my license
to practice in this hospital, I’m already on probation again,” Dr. Minnick
argued.
“Does that really matter?
We’re talking about something you can fix if you allow it. The poor kid can’t
speak and can’t sit up alone. We’re talking about someone that was in the
entertainment business and now he is faced with a life of 24 hour nursing care.
If you don’t do something about this, by god, I plan on doing something,”
Barbara stated as she attempted to turn and walk away from Dr. Minnick.
Dr. Minnick grabbed Nurse
Johnson by the arm and turned her to face him. “What exactly are you planning
on doing?”
“Going to the
administrative board,” she stated firmly.
“Do it and you’re
finished,” the doctor warned Barbara.
Barbara jerked her arm out
of the doctor’s grasp. “I don’t care.”
~*~*~*~*~
Lizz’s face had gone from a pale color to chalky white in
a matter of moments. Her lips were tinged blue. I could tell right away that
she wasn’t getting any air, I could see her struggling to breathe.
As she collapsed to the
floor, all I could do was lay in the bed and watch her fall. I felt so damned
helpless at that moment, I couldn’t yell or do anything to stop that from
happening. I glanced up at where that girl named Terri was and I could se she
was going to make a run for the door. I didn’t bother trying to form the words
in my mouth, I just made noises to draw attention back towards the doorway.
Thank god Brian realized what was going on.
“Oh no you don’t,” Brian
yelled as he grabbed Terri by the arm. “You are staying here until security
arrives. Hey we need help in here!” Brian called out to the security officer
that was sitting outside the door to Nick’s ICU room.
The daytime security
officer, assigned to protect Nick, entered the room and quickly serveyed the situation. Without asking, he grabbed the girl
that Brian was hanging onto and slapped some handcuffs on her wrists.
Terri kept kicking and cussing,
trying to free herself from the police officer. He hung onto her as she kicked
and thrashed about like a wild animal.
I helplessly watched as
Kyung and another nurse attended to Lizz. I realized that her kidneys were
compromised and that she needed a transplant. I suddenly felt sick to my
stomach knowing that I played a role in making this girl fight for her life.
As luck and poor planning
would have it, the sounds of shrieking from the hallway diverted mine and
Brian’s attention towards the door. Suddenly, Brian was caught up in a surge of
about fifteen young girls.
“Shit,” Kyung mumbled
under her breath. “You girls need to leave this room immediately!”
They didn’t listen to
Kyung and soon their attention was drawn towards Nick laying in bed.
Suddenly, they stopped
their chattering amoungst themselves and started to
point at Nick and whisper. All Nick could do was lay in bed and stare back at
the girls.
“Nick? Are you feeling
okay?”
“That’s enough, out now!”
Kyung barked.
“Nick, I want a picture of
you,” a girl said as she pulled out a pocket camera.
That was all Brian needed.
“GET OUT NOW!”
The girls cringed when
they heard Brian yell, scared by his sudden change of character and attitude.
No one would ever suspect Brian of getting that agitated.
The girls watched as Lizz’s day nurse, Della, push Lizz out the door on a cot to
her own ICU room.
“Oh my god, isn’t that the
girl that caused Nick to try and kill himself over?”
This time Kyung snapped.
“GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE NOW BEFORE I CALL SECURITY!”
The pack of girls seemed
almost frozen. Dale, the security guard, was still holding on to Terri so he
couldn’t do much of anything.
“Why isn’t he talking?”
One of the girls whispered. Another one was staring after Lizz as Della took
her to her room. A couple more nurses came to assist her.
“Is she dead?” Came
another horrified whisper.
Kyung whirled around and
marched over to the girls. “OUT!” She bellowed. They started to scamper away,
but stopped when they heard laughing.
“He can’t talk girlies
cause he had a stroke. He is never going to be able to take care of himself
ever again. And no, that girl isn’t dead, but she is almost there. Sorry
kiddies, no more Backstreet and no more Nick Carter.” She sneered.
“Get her out of here!”
Kyung barked to Dale. She threw a look at Brian and he looked like he had been
slapped. He couldn’t believe that Terri had just said those words. Kyung took
in a deep breath and tried to control her temper.
Dale escorted the
struggling girl out of the room and her shouts could be heard all the way down
the hall.
Kyung herded the girls
outside the door and shut it behind her. She sighed. “Look, I don’t know how
you all got in here, but you can’t be here. This is the intensive care unit and
there needs to be a certain level of control. If there were an emergency, like
there was just now, we can’t have a bunch of people in the way.” She explained
sternly.
“Is Nick going to be
okay?” One of the younger ones asked tearfully.
“He’s going to be fine.”
Kyung told her.
“What about the girl he
tried to kill himself over?” Asked another.
Kyung sighed again. Her
patience was growing thin. “She is going to be fine also.” She wasn’t even
going to address the inaccuracy of their information.
“Then what about what that
girl said? Why did she say that?” The same girl persisted.
Kyung wanted to say
“because she is a flaming bitch that needs to be shot.” Instead she said, “I
don’t know. She is sick up here.” Kyung tapped her head.
“What’s wrong with Brian?”
A young one that was crying asked. “He yelled.”
“He’s upset. His best
friend is sick and he doesn’t like to see him that way. He didn’t mean to sound
so harsh okay?” Kyung tried to keep the exasperation out of her voice.
“What is wrong with them?
Is that girl really going to die without a transplant? Is Nick never going to
be able to function again? Is it true that Brian passed out?” The girl that
asked looked like she might have been the oldest of the group.
Kyung shook her head.
“That’s all private. I’m sure there will be a press conference and you will
know whatever they think you should know. You all really need to leave the ICU
now.” She looked over the desk and a couple of nurses came over to usher the
girls out. As soon as they returned, Kyung went off.
“That was inexcusable! How
the hell did they get in here?! Do you have any idea how bad that was?! Why the
hell didn’t someone stop them?!” She yelled. All the anger that she had been
trying to hold back just surfaced.
“I’m sorry, I was with my
patient. I heard the commotion and came to see what was going on.” One of them
explained.
The other one didn’t say
anything. She just looked embarrassed.
“Ugh!” Kyung shook her
head in disgust before turning on her heel and storming to Lizz’s
room. Della was still in there, along with another nurse, Marjorie.
“How is she?” Kyung asked
softly. Her energy was spent.
“Her BP is back up, but
her sats are still too low.” Della paused and looked at Kyung seriously. “She’s
running out of time.” She said quietly.
Kyung nodded and tried to
keep her composure. It was really hard. “She’ll be asleep for awhile, won’t
she?”
Della nodded. “Are you
going to be okay?”
Kyung shrugged. “I’ll be
okay when Lizz is okay. Uh, hey, I’m gonna go check on Nick and I’ll be back in
a few.”
I’m not going to break
down here at work. I’m not! She coached herself as she knocked on Nick’s door
before going in. Brian was sitting on the edge of Nick’s bed.
She walked over and stood
next to Brian, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked like the wrath. Nick
immediately looked at Kyung with questioning eyes. “She asleep. Her oxygen
levels are a little low, but other than that...” She trailed off. On one hand
she didn’t want to repeat what Della had just told her, but on the other hand
what was the point of hiding it.
Brian looked up at her.
“Is it bad?” His voice was barely audible.
Kyung nodded, not trusting
her voice. She didn’t want to look at Nick either. She didn’t want to see the
pain that she knew she would see in his eyes. She knew he blamed himself.
~*~*~*~*~
Barbara stormed out of Dr.
Minnick’s office, her heart pounding. She was terrified, but at the same time
she felt as if a huge weight was lifted off her chest. She was going to lose
her job for sure, but at least she did the right thing.
Hopefully now they could
reverse the effects that the Espediene on Nick
Carter. The damage wouldn’t be immediately undone, but in time he would be
okay. She desperately wanted to believe that. He would have a long road ahead
of him, regardless.
Before she would call the
board she wanted to go back to Nick’s room and see if his friend and that other
girl that was with him were in there.
It was a long walk to his
room and when she finally made it, she had to stop and pause before she went
in. Finally she knocked.
Upon opening the door,
Barbara found Brian and Kyung alongside the patient’s bed. She looked at Nick’s
face and then quickly looked away not being able to trust herself to tell them
what she knew she had to tell.
“I’m sorry doctor shoved
you out of his office earlier,” Barbara started out.
’Stop apologizing for
him.’ she reprimanded herself.
“There is something I need
to tell you regarding Mr. Carter’s condition.”
Nurse McKean paused for a
brief moment, trying to think of how was the best way to tell them what she
needed to tell them.
She took a breath in. “I
believe that the stroke that he suffered was not a true stroke.” Barbara looked
into Brian’s eyes. His red-rimmed eyes appeared to question what she was
saying. She looked at Nick, his eyebrows were furrowed in a knot of confusion.
“Doctor Minnick was
consulted to place Mr. Carter---”
“Nick, his name is Nick,”
Kyung corrected the nurse.
“Doctor Minnick was
consulted to place Nick into a medically induced coma. He is a specialist in
that field and has a high success rate with the recovery of his patients,
however, Doctor Minnick made a grave error in the selection of the meds, one
the suppresses the central nervous system.
“So you’re saying that he
caused Nick’s stroke?” Brian questioned.
Barbara shook her head.
“What I’m saying is that the medication that doctor used chemically alters the
neurons in the brain, sort of short circuiting the system. What Doctor Minnick
did should have never happened. Nick shouldn’t be suffering as he is now.”
Nurse McKean managed to
look at Nick’s face again. This time instead of a look of confusion or
question, his face was full of anger and hatred.
“Is there anything that
can be done for Nick?” Kyung asked, breaking the long silence that filled the
room.
“Yes, I believe there is.
I am going to the board after I leave here and tell them the whole story. I
think there is something that can be given to Nick that will counter act the
effects of the Esperdiene medication. I don’t think
the cure will be overnight and I think that he will have a long struggle ahead
of him, but I think that he will eventually lead a near normal life again.
I stared at the nurse that
came in the room with this news. She said near normal, what did she mean by
near normal? God, how I wanted to talk and ask questions. I wanted to know how
Lizz was doing. I decided I would ask once that nurse left the room.
“I’m glad you told us
this, I know it must have taken a lot of courage on your part,” Brian said to
Barbara.
The nurse shrugged her
shoulders. “I’ll probably lose my job over this, but I couldn’t stand there any
longer and see this patient suffer or his family.”
“If there is anything we
can do for you to help you keep your job, anything at all, please don’t be
afraid to ask,” Brian replied. He looked over at Nick and could see him
slightly nod his head.
“Thank you,” Barbara said
as she turned to leave the room.
I waited for the door to
close before I tried to speak. I licked my lips and got ready to hopefully
speak clearly.
“La-iss.”
Both Kyung and Brian
turned their heads towards me. I prayed that they understood what I wanted.
“How La-iss.”
“She’s stable,” Kyung
replied.
I shook my head no. I knew
they were keeping something from me.
“See.”
“No Nick, you can’t right
now, she’s sleeping,” Brian replied.
I shook my head no again.
“See her.”
“Absolutely not. Nick, I
have no way to get you to her room anyway. You can’t move on your own, you
couldn’t go in a wheelchair, forget it, it’s not gonna happen so you might as
well rest and try to get better.”
God how I hated it when
Brian was reasonable.
“Nick if it will make you
happy, I will go to her room and see how she’s doing and come back and tell
you, deal?”
I nodded my head yes. It
was going to be better than nothing.
~*~*~*~*~
I laid in bed half
watching some dumb soap opera on the television. I couldn’t move my hands very
well to change channels on the remote control and with Brian away, I was pretty
much stuck with what was on.
‘God, just let her leave,
she’s not worth it.’ I mentally shouted at the TV screen. Soaps were pretty
stupid as they seemed to spend more time with the characters staring at each
other more than anything else.
A tall man wearing a white
lab coat entered my room after briefly knocking on the door. I figured he was
in to take more blood from me.
“Hi Nick, I’m Doctor
Scott.”
As the doctor was talking,
one of my daytime nurses named Denise, came in with an IV bag and hung it up on
the pole. She was also carrying a syringe.
“Because of the
information that Nurse McKean provided, we are going to be giving you Irisophia through and IV line. This medication will
hopefully counter act the Esperdiene that was given
to you previously. We will be staring that up along with a steriod
injection every four hours into the IV line. I think if all goes well, you
should start to be seeing improvements in your condition within 36 to 48
hours.”
~*~*~*~*~
Waking up seemed like a
big mistake. As soon as I opened my eyes, I was flooded with pain. Go figure,
what did I do this time? I could barely even move.
“Hey girl, how ya
feeling?” Kyung smiled with relief when she saw my eyes flicker towards her.
She was sitting on the end of my bed.
“Wha ‘appen?”
I whispered. Even talking took energy that I didn’t have.
“Do you remember being in
Nick’s room a little while ago?” Brian asked. I looked to my right and he was
sitting in a chair by the side of my bed. I tried to think about what he was
talking about, but nothing registered. The blank look on my face must have told
him that I didn’t remember. He glanced at Kyung and frowned.
“You know who I am right?”
He asked carefully.
I grinned and nodded
slightly. That was a silly question.
Brian smiled back, then
grew serious again. “You got really ansty to go see
Nick so Kyung and I took you to his room in a wheelchair.”
Oh my gosh! Terri! It all
came back and I widened my eyes in recognition at them.
“You remember now?” Kyung
asked.
“Terri?” I whispered. That
little bitch. I remembered her saying something about Nick trying to kill
himself again and I was about to go off on her. How dare she say something like
that?! I was ready to tear into her but by that time I could scarecely breathe and I felt like I was going to pass out.
The last thing I remembered was trying to get Nick’s attention.
“She’s been taken care
of.” Kyung said simply. I could hear the anger in her voice though.
I nodded. “Nick?” I
whispered. “He’s alone?”
“He’s really worried about
you. He wanted to come see you, but there isn’t anyway for him to get into a
wheelchair or anything. He wanted us to come see how you are and then report
back to him.” Brian explained.
I smiled. “Tell him... I
am...bouncing... off the walls.”
Kyung and Brian laughed.
“Sure you are, ya little punk.” Kyung snorted.
I had to smile. At least I
made them laugh.
“Actually, guess what?”
Kyung asked. I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Nick’s doctor, Dr.
Minnick, screwed up. Bad. He was supposed to give Nick Experdene
when they put him in the induced coma. By accident the doctor gave him Espediene which suppresses the central nervous system. Dr.
Minnick, apparantly didn’t want to acknowledge his
mistake and pretended that he never did anything wrong.” Kyung explained.
My eyes filled with hot
tears. “He’s been...suffering...all this time...”
“Lizz, Dr. Minnick’s nurse
came forward. She had a very hard time doing so, but she did and she is taking
it to the administrative board. Hopefully, they will be able to give Nick
something to counter the effects and he will be okay. He will have a long
recovery ahead of him, but he should be fine.” Brian continued.
“He’s gonna...be okay?” I
whispered. I had been praying for a miracle since Nick had had the stroke. Now,
here it was. I basked in the feelings of tremendous relief for only a few
moments. There was something else I had been concerned about. I knew that Nick
blamed himself for all this, just like I did. I knew that was something that we
would never be able to convince each other of. He thought it was his fault for
dragging me into this, but I knew that it was mine. If I had been able to get
on instant messenger sooner, if I could have said something different.
If...if... How was he going to take me getting worse and worse? I knew that my
chances of getting a transplant were slim and I also knew that if I didn’t get
one very soon, I wouldn’t make it. Would that put Nick over the edge? I shook my
head miserably.
Kyung saw this. “What’s
wrong sweetie?”
“How’s...he gonna
take...me not...getting better?” I whispered, trying to stay in control of my
emotions.
“Lizz don’t...” Kyung
started with a warning tone in her voice.
“K, please...I know the...circumstances...I
don’t want...him to blame...himself.” I begged.
“Hey now, we don’t want to
hear that kind of talk. You better not be giving up on us now!” Brian
admonished gently.
“I’m not! But I...have
to...be realistic. I’m gonna...fight it. But Nick...” A few tears escaped.
Brian chewed his lip. He
didn’t want to admit it, but Lizz’s concern had
crossed his mind. He was determined that Lizz would be okay, but if, just if,
she wasn’t, what effect would that have on Nick? “Lizz, we are going to find
you a transplant, but you have to keep faith. Do it for us, for Nick, and for
yourself. I know you can do it.” He encouraged.
I nodded. I sure as hell
wasn’t going to give into this. I’m just too damned stubborn for that. I
vaguely remembered someone calling me stubborn recently. I smiled.
“That’s my girl!” Kyung
smiled too.
“Go...tell him... I’m
okay.” I ordered. Both of them opened their eyes wide. Kyung made like she was
going to smack me one and Brian mock saluted. I grinned at them. “Then...come
tell me...that he’s...okay.”
“Will do.” Brian saluted
again and Kyung gave me a half hug before they both left. The looks on their
faces as I tried to be demanding, was priceless and I smiled in spite of
myself.
~*~*~*~*~
Once out in the hall,
Brian turned to Kyung.
“She’s really...” He
started, only to be cut off by Kyung.
“Don’t say it! I am having
a hard enough time keeping from crying as it is.”
Brian nodded in
understanding.
They let themselves into
Nick’s room and were greeted by tall doctor with kind, brown eyes. He smiled
and introduced himself as Dr. Scott.
“I’m going to be taking
over Nick’s case for Dr. Minnick. As you might already know, his nurse, Barbara
McKean, came forward with some information regarding Nick’s case.” He started.
Brian nodded.
“We will be administering Irisophia intraveniously every
four hours in hopes of countering the effects of the Esperdiene.
We will also be giving him a steroid to aide the process. We are optimistic
that we will see results in 36-48 hours.” He repeated all the information that
he had given Nick.
Brian glanced at Kyung and
saw the happiness written all over her face that he also felt.
Dr. Scott smiled at the
look of obvious relief written all over the two young people’s faces that stood
before him. “I just gave him his first dose and Denise will be in charge of
giving him the rest throughout the night. And significant changes and I want to
be called.” He shook Brian and Kyung’s hands before leaving the room.
Brian immediately went to
Nick’s bedside and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m so happy for you buddy.”
Kyung just stood there and
smiled at the touching scene before her. Finally they broke apart and Brian sat
on the edge of the bed, just as Kyung did in Lizz’s
room. Kyung stood next to the bed and smiled at Nick.
Nick looked at Kyung and
then Brian. He concentrated for a moment then asked softly, “how’s Li-iss?”
***