You Go, I Go
Part 4
I woke up when I heard the
familiar rattle of the blood draw tech’s cart. I wanted to fake sleeping in
hopes that she would bi-pass my room but I knew I was just kidding myself.
“Hi, my name’s Leah and I
need to get some blood this morning.”
I looked at Leah and I
knew she could tell I was dissatisfied by the thought of getting more blood
taken from me, I was sick of feeling like a pincushion.
After a few minutes of her
poking around on my arm, she sighed and reached over towards the light switch.
“I’m really sorry,” Leah
apologized as she turned on the over head lights, “I just am having a hard time
finding a good vein this morning.”
I groaned as the lights
flickered on, hurting my eyes. I wanted to tell her it was okay, but I didn’t
trust any words that would come out of my mouth. With my luck lately, I would
end up calling her a bitch or something and get slapped for it.
Leah quickly drew the
blood from my arm and shut the lights off once she placed the vial back into
her cart. She cheerfully thanked me and left the room. I laid awake in the dim
lighting, listening to the noises of the world outside my door.
I finally was distracted
from the noises in the hallway by a fly buzzing by my face. I laughed at the
irony of a fly living in ICU. I decided to call the fly AJ. It was a perfect
name for the fly because it reminded me of AJ, always buzzing around quickly,
never staying in one spot for long. The fly must have realized I was mentally
thinking about it because it landed on my cheek. Out of reflex, I brushed the
fly from my cheek.
Brushed my cheek?
I looked at my hand in
front of my face. I hadn’t been able to control any movements that I wanted to
since I came out of this damn coma. The meds they were giving me were working!
I wanted to shout out to the doctor that it was working, god, I needed to tell
someone. Wait, did that mean I could talk too? I decided to chance it and I
cleared my throat. I was hoping to say ‘Hi how are you today’ but the only
words that came out were the same jumbled up mess that I had been saying
before.
That was bad, no
improvement there. I tried to keep myself up and reminded myself that I could
move my hand. It was only the one hand, but hell, one was better than none.
A nurse came into my room
with another IV bad and a syringe. I watched her hang the new bag on the pole
and then she uncapped the syring with her mouth - I
was thinking how professional - and looked at her watch as she pushed the
mediation into the IV line.
Feeling that familiar burn
into my arm as the mediation was entering my bloodstream, I closed my eyes and
let the sleep wash over me.
*~*~*~*~*
“Lizz? Honey, come on,
please I need you to wake up to sign some forms.”
Lizz opened her eyes to
see one of her nurses standing over her bed with a clipboard. She started to
stretch but the pain caused her to stop and take a sharp breath inward.
“Forms? What kind of
forms?” Lizz whispered as she struggled to get into a half way decent sitting
position in her bed. The nurse hurried and placed the pillows behind her back
for support.
“They found a donor for
you and I need you to sign the concent forms,” the
nurse cheerfully stated.
Lizz’s eyes shifted back and forth as she tried to grasp
the reality of the situation.
“They found one so
quickly,” Lizz gasped.
“You’re very lucky to have
gotten it,” the nurse explained.
“But if they found one so
quickly, that meant I was on the critical list, doesn’t it?”
“That doesn’t matter now,
what matters is we need to get you prepped to be shipped off.”
Lizz hesitated signing
when she heard the nurse say that.
“Shipped off? Where?”
“Not too far, just to
Lizz’s heart sank. To go to
The nurse took the
clipboard from her hands. “Honey, it’s for your own good.”
Lizz could feel herself panick. “Kyung... Where’s Kyung... I need her! I need
Brian!”
~*~*~*~*~
"Well, I‘m afraid we
have some good news and some rather disturbing news."
Brian, Kyung, and Lizz’s doctor were sitting in a small conference room. Upon
hearing those words, Kyung took a sharp breath in. She wasn’t sure she could
handle any more bad news. Brian saw this and gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"We’ll start with the
good news." Dr. Saxton smiled. "We have a kidney for Lizz."
Kyung gasped at the same
time Brian exclaimed, "Thank God!"
"B…but how? What
about the waiting list? Even being listed as critical can still take
months!" Kyung stammered, her shock evident.
Dr. Saxton’s face grew
grim. "Well, I’m afraid that’s the bad news." Brian and Kyung
exchanged glances as the doctor continued. "I’m sure you both aware of the
recent addition of the National Enquiror that
featured an article on Nick and Lizz."
Kyung felt a lump form in
her throat. This wasn’t going to be good. She barely saw Brain nod out of the
corner of her eye.
"Unfortunately a young
girl took the words in the article as truth." Dr. Saxton said.
"Words? What
words?" Kyung shook her head.
"Where it said that
Nick had suffered from brain damage and would never walk or speak or be able to
take care of himself. One of his fans, an 18 year old girl, became very
distraught over it and…took her life." Dr. Saxton finished gravely.
"Oh god!" Brian
cried hoarsely.
Kyung covered her mouth
and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Her mother and
father said she became very distraught after she found out. She became
withdrawn and depressed, barely talking to anyone." Dr. Saxton continued.
"But how…?"
Kyung whispered.
Dr. Saxton seemed to
understand what Kyung was trying to ask. "Her parents are devastated,
naturally. Surprisingly they harbor no feelings of blame. Instead they want
some good to come from this. They want their daughter’s kidneys to go to
Lizz."
"Does Lizz
know?" Brian asked suddenly.
"They should be
prepping her to be transported right now, but she doesn’t know who the donor
is." Dr. Saxton replied.
"Shit, Brian, I don’t
know what this is going to do to her!" Kyung said urgently.
Brian nodded. Then he
raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what do you mean, transported?" Brian
asked.
"There will be a
surgical team waiting in
"
"What about Nick?
Does he know any of this?" Brian continued to question the doctor
frantically.
"Not to my
knowledge."
"Oh boy." Brian
muttered. This was starting to get overwhelming.
Suddenly Kyung snapped her
head down to her pager. "It’s Lizz’s room."
Brian glanced at Dr.
Saxton. "Have me paged when all the paper work is signed so we can get
Lizz to
~*~*~*~*~
The nurse left to go take
the forms out. I, on the other hand, was freaking out. I was fighting the urge
to panic with everything that was in me. And by this point, that wasn’t much.
Who was my donor?! Why did the nurse beat around the bush when I tried to ask?
I couldn’t leave Nick now, there was no way. Especially now that he was
hopefully going to start getting better. It was my fault that this had happened
and I sure as hell wasn’t going to bail on him now. Then a sudden thought
occurred to me. What if the donor was Nick?! What if something happened?!"
So much for control. I started breathing rapidly and choked back a sob. I
couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Nick. This was all my fault!
I pushed the sheets back roughly and tried to push myself off of the pillows.
Sharp pains coursed through me and I let out a cry. I was beginning to get
frantic. "Please…" I moaned. After struggling for a few more minutes
my whole body was trembling and I was gasping for air. At that moment, the door
flew open.
"Lizz!" Kyung
rushed over to me. I was struggling to remain sitting and gave in to her
outstretched arms.
"Nick! Oh god!
He’s…" I cried as I held a death grip on her.
"Lizz, Lizz! He’s
fine. Nick’s fine!" Kyung tried to get my attention.
"You mean…he’s
not…" I sagged against her. She leaned me back onto my pillows and then
began messing with the oxygen levels. Brian sat down on the edge of the bed.
"You thought he was
your donor?" He asked softly.
I nodded shakily. I could
feel the oxygen flow was stronger and tried to take it in. "I can’t
leave." I choked out.
"There isn’t a
choice. You need to get this transplant." Brian reasoned.
I shook my head.
"Then I have to wait until Nick is better enough to go too." I said
stubbornly. My voice was all breathy. Why wasn’t I getting enough air?
"Lizz…" Brian
started.
Another thought occurred
to me. If Nick wasn’t my donor, then who was it? I knew how transplant lists
worked. I nearly was on one many years ago. Something must have happened in
order for me to get a kidney so fast. "Where is this kidney coming
from?" I whispered.
Brian and Kyung glanced at
each other. I could tell that they didn’t want to tell me the answer to that.
At that moment, I was scarcely aware of how hard it was to breathe nor the
searing pain that threatened to knock me out. I only sat and waited, an icy
fear enveloping my heart.
“Lizz, that’s not
important to know right now,” Kyung quietly stated. Brian slightly nodded his
head in agreement.
“Like hell,” Lizz
whispered.
Hearing the heart monitor
start to pick up pace with Lizz’s agitation, Brian
gave in and decided to tell Lizz a little about the donor.
“Lizz, it’s from an 18
year old girl from
“And?” Lizz sharply
whispered.
Brian’s shoulder’s sank.
“You aren’t just gonna leave it at that, are you?”
Lizz narrowed her eyes at
Brian.
A slight smile played on
his lips. “Guess not. She is a fiesty one.”
Kyung nodded. “Can’t help
it, stubborness and bitchiness is in her character.”
Lizz continued to stare at
Brian and Kyung.
He took a deep breath in.
“Okay...... well, she just happened to be a BSB fan and her parents read about
what was going on with how you tried to help Nick and their hearts went out to
you and they felt that if their daughter’s kidneys matched your genetic
profiles, they wanted them to go to you, they felt it would be the right thing
to do with them.”
Brian tried his best to
look Lizz in the face. He wasn’t actually lying about the details, he was just
skipping a few details. He hoped Lizz would never want to know the full details
but he knew eventually she would be asking or hearing about it.
Satisfied with Brian’s explaination, Lizz closed her eyes. The nurses finished up
with the final preparations of her transport to
“Does Nick know anything
about this yet?”
Kyung smoothed the
blankets up by Lizz’s neck. “No, not yet.”
“I want to see him before
I go,” Lizz insisted.
An ambulance attendant
entered the room. “Okay, ready to go to
“No, not until I see
Nick,” Lizz continued her protest.
“Sweetie, there isn’t
time, you have to go now,” Kyung gently argued. “I will make sure either Brian
or myself tell him what’s going on and keep him informed, okay? You don’t have
a choice in this.”
~*~*~*~*~
“Good Morning, are you
ready for breakfast?”
Startled, I opened my eyes
to see Nicole, a day nurse enter my room with a tray in her hand. I was so
damned used the routine by now, she brings in the tray, helps me to sit up and
then she feeds me. I was about to give into the all familiar chain of events
when I remembered I could use my left hand. I was right handed, but hell I
could use my left hand! I shook my head “no” and held up my left hand and
opened and closed it.
“You can use your hand?
Gosh, it’s not charted but hey, I’m happy for you,” Nicole said as she placed
the tray on the stand and proceeded to set it up.
I nodded and was anxious
to try my new skills out. I didn’t want her to sit and watch me though. I
managed a “friendly” glare at her so that she would understand my intentions.
“You want me to leave?”
I shook my head yes.
“Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry
but I can’t,” Nicole replied. She must have noticed the bewildered look I was
giving her, not understanding why she had to stand there and watch me eat. “You
could start to choke.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I
knew she was going to stand beside my bed no matter what. I carefully grasped
the spoon and plunged it into the steaming bowl of oatmeal. Instead of smooth,
flowing movements, my hand acted as if were detached from my body as it slammed
into the bowl, almost knocking it over.
“It’s okay, just relax,”
Nicole coached.
Fishing around in the bowl
with the spoon, I finally managed to scoop some oatmeal onto the spoon. As I
slowly moved the spoon up towards my mouth, the contents were starting to fall
off as they were guided by my shaky movements. When the spoon finally met up
with my mouth, instead of a mouthful of warm cereal, I closed my mouth around a
spoon that contained a miniscule amount of oatmeal and a drop of milk.
“That’s good..... great,”
Nicole coached.
I dropped the spoon onto
the tray. “Bitch, dammit,” I shouted in frustration.
Nicole was desensitized by
my words. I’m sure she had heard it all, but still, it was embarrassing that I
couldn’t control what I was saying either.
“Hey Nick! Breakfast?”
I saw Brian enter the room
and I felt relief wash over me.
“He’s trying to eat
breakfast by himself,” Nicole cheerfully pointed out.
Brian’s face brightened, I
could see he was just as pleased as I was about the development. He caught my
look of disapproval about Nicole being in the room while I ate.
“Thank God, that’s
wonderful. Hey, I can take it from here, I mean, as long as it’s okay with
you,” Brian smiled as he approached the bed.
“Um... sure, I guess it would
be,” Nicole hesitantly replied. “If you need anything Nick, use the call
button, okay?”
I nodded yes quickly,
trying to get her out of the room. I tried struggling with the spoon again. I
noticed Brian’s face matched the feelings of frustration I was feeling.
“It’s okay Nick, I’m sure
this will be getting better and better as each hour passes, I mean look, you
weren’t even able to move your hand yesterday,” Brian pointed out.
I shurgged
my shoulders. God, how does Brian always know the right words to say to people?
I could tell it was
tearing him apart watching me try to eat and look like a two year old in the
process. I managed to get a half a bowl of oatmeal down me before I got tired
of the whole deal and gave up. I was still hungry but I didn’t care.
“Lizz?”
“She’s fine,” Brian lied.
“See Lizz?”
I was hoping Brian would
agree to my request, it was a long shot, but I tried it everytime
I saw either him or Kyung.
Brian shook his head no.
“You can’t and you know that Nick, why do you always ask?”
I managed to smile. Hell a
guy can try.
Nicole entered the room.
“Kyung wanted me to tell you that she was going to drive to
My mind raced with
questions, Brian had been hiding something and I knew it, now it was confirmed.
The guilty look on his face said it all. He didn’t want to look me in the eyes
as he quitely thanked Nicole for the information. I
clamped my left hand on his arm, I felt him body tense up. He turned and faced
me.
“Spill,” I slowly said.
Just as Brian opened his
mouth to reply, AJ burst through the door.
“Nickolas! my boy, how the
fuck are you doing?”
I narrowed my eyes at AJ.
He always had the persona of picking the wrong place, wrong time, wrong choice of words.
AJ looked at my face and
then at Brian’s. “Not good?”
“Spill,” I asked Brian
again, trying to ignore AJ at the moment.
Brian sighed. “Lizz is
being sent to
I was happy to hear the news,
but for some reason I felt that Brian was hiding something from me, after all,
he would have mentioned something when he first came in the room but instead he
chose to be secretive about the whole situation. I decided to accept his
explanation for now.
~*~*~*~*~
Lizz looked around the
operating room, fear in her eyes. Thoughts played in her head. Her worry about
Nick, her fear about what if she didn’t make it through surgery, her fear of
her body rejecting the dontated kidney.
“Okay honey, we’re all
set, are you ready?” the anesthesiologist softly asked.
“No, but I guess I don’t
have any choice,” Lizz whispered.
“Sorry, afraid not,
besides, doctor prefers his patients asleep during surgery,” the doctor winked.
Before Lizz could respond,
she felt the burn in her arm and the funny taste in her mouth..... then it was
dark.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung paced back and forth
around the surgical waiting room in
~*~*~*~*~
“Nick, would it be okay if
AJ and I went down to the cafeteria for a little bit?” Brian asked.
Nick nodded and even
smiled a little. He was so worried about Brian. Nick knew Brian was totally
exhausted, but was too determined to stay by his best friend’s side than take
care of himself. If going to the cafeteria meant getting some food into him,
then Nick was all for it. He concentrated on making his next word come out
right. “Eat!”
Brian chuckled. “I will
don’t worry.” He looked pleased that Nick was getting better at expressing his
thoughts.
“You look like you need to
eat something. How are you even standing?” AJ stared at Brian.
Brian just shrugged. “No
choice in the matter.” He turned his attention back to Nick. “Have your nurse
page me if you need anything, okay bud?”
Nick nodded at the TV.
“Watch TV, go eat!” He ordered with a grin. Okay, so maybe it didn’t come out
crystal clear, but he was definitely getting better.
AJ glanced up at Nick’s
TV. “Yeah, news, how exciting.” He muttered. Then he grinned. “Isn’t Jerry
Springer on?”
Brian groaned. “Let’s go.”
They both walked out and headed for the cafeteria.
“Okay, what did I just
miss? Why did he just look upset?” AJ asked.
“As usual, when he saw me,
he asked if he could go see Lizz...” Brian started.
“Lizz?” AJ interrupted.
“The girl that Nick talked
to right before he took those pills. She drank that medicine and nearly died!”
Brian exclaimed, exasperated.
“Sorry! I forgot her name
that’s all.” AJ held up his hands.
“Anyway, they finally got
a kidney for her. Only...” Brian paused.
“Only...” AJ prompted. He
could tell whatever this was, it wasn’t good.
“The kidney is coming from
a girl that killed herself after reading what was in the Enquiror.”
Brian said quietly.
“Holy shit.” AJ murmured.
“That’s bad.” Brian nodded. “Lizz was asking who the donor was. I told her
everything except for how she died. Nick doesn’t know either. I’m afraid of how
they are going to react when they find out. They both blame themselves for this
and this might set either one of them or both of them over the edge.”
AJ shook his head sadly.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung barely paid
attention to the newscaster explaining the increase in gas prices. She ignored
the latest from the White House. When the weather came on, she felt her heart
tug. She knew how fascinated with weather Lizz was. She would watch The Weather
Channel for fun, claiming that she couldn’t turn it because “the local forecast
was coming up.” And if it had to do with thunderstorms or tornadoes, Lizz would
be glued to the screen. That was, of course, if she wasn’t out chasing them.
She was so full of life. And just plain full of it too. Always getting into
some kind of trouble. Kyung shook her head of the thoughts. She was not going
to start crying. Again.
“Breaking news from the
Backstreet Tragedy!”
Kyung’s attention
immediately snapped to the TV screen.
“The horror continues to
unfold as a young girl’s life ends.” The newscaster stated gravely, yet with a
trace of excitement.
~*~*~*~*~
“It has been reported that
a girl in
Nick stared in horror at
the screen. He had almost changed the station from the boring grey-weathered
forecast, when this new bulletin had come on.
“To recap, Nick Carter, of
the world famous pop group, the Backstreet Boys, attempted to take his life
only a couple short weeks ago. He was reportedly on the internet at the time
and told an online friend over aol that he didn’t
want to live. Out of desperation, the girl, Lizz Hulford,
threatened to drink a bottle of medication in order to stop Carter. Her efforts
proved futile when both ended up in a hospital in
~*~*~*~*~
Brian and AJ stared at the
TV in the cafeteria. It had been fairly noisy in there, but as soon as this
broadcast came on, it had quieted down. It was becoming rather well-known that
both Nick and previously Lizz were being treated here.
“Where the hell did they
get all this information?!” Demanded Brian angrily.
AJ gave Brian a look as if
to say, “you really have to ask?” Nearly every detail of their lives were
thrust into the public eye.
“The National Enquiror recently printed an article on the subject. A fan,
who’s name we cannot disclose at this time, was devastated and has taken her
life.” The report continued.
“Oh god!” Brian jumped up.
“What if Nick is watching this?!”
Simultaneously AJ and
Brian took off in a sprint towards the elevators.
~*~*~*~*~
Nick’s heart was pounding
and he started to feel sick. First Lizz, now this girl. Her life was over
because of him! He started to shake and he barely noticed the tears streaming
out of his eyes. He tried to will his body to move, but it wouldn’t obey him.
He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t take it. He needed Brian. He started
to push the call button, but he was stopped by the sudden lack of air that he
was experiencing. His whole body was trembling now and he couldn’t seem to get
any air. The panic was overwhelming him.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung sat glued to the TV.
She couldn’t believe she was watching this. Immediately she was concerned that
there was a remote possibility that Nick could be seeing this. She thanked God
that Lizz wasn’t. Kyung knew that it would be really bad if either Lizz or Nick
found out about the suicide. She wanted to call Brian, but couldn’t tear
herself away from the TV. She remained glued to it, unaware of the sudden
emergency in the operating room.
~*~*~*~
Brian and AJ rushed into
the hospital room to find Nick gasping for air.
“SHIT,” Brian yelled as he
slapped the code button on the wall. A team of people in scrubs rushed into the
room pushing AJ and Brian aside. The two stood off to one side the room and
could do nothing but watch as the people worked frantically around Nick.
“His sats are 68!” A voice
barked out.
“Intubate?” Another voice
questioned.
“Prep him,” someone
directed.
I could only lay there,
trying to keep awake and struggle to breathe. ‘What the hell was happening to
me? It felt like I was breathing through a straw after running a mile. When one
doctor said intubate I panicked. God, they can’t do that to me! Just let me
die, please anything but this!’
~*~*~*~
“Doctor her sats and BP
are dipping,” a nurse observed.
“Her lungs are shot! Shit,
why didn’t anyone adress this? Why the hell are we
putting a kidney into her when her lungs are in this shape?” the doctor yelled.
“Call the organ procurement center, stat!”
As the doctor worked
frantically on Lizz to keep her alive, a nurse had received the call back from
the organ procurement center.
“Doctor Robinson here, I
have Elizabeth Hurlford on the table. Donor kidney
ready to transplant. Do you still have the host?”
The only noise in the OR
was the machines and the respirator, forcing oxygen into Lizz’s
taxed lungs.
“Great, can you send the
lungs STAT......how long.......okay we are on standby.”
Hanging up the phone, the
doctor walked back to the table and looked at Lizz’s
face behind the draped sheets. “Hang in there honey, help is coming.”
~*~*~*~*~
“What the hell caused that
episode?” AJ asked as he stared down at a sedated Nick laying in his bed.
“I’m not sure, it was flukey,” the young resident doctor replied.
“Flukey?”
AJ narrowed his eyes. “A man’s oxygen level goes from a 96 to a 68? He’s not
even asthmatic!”
“His body has gone through
some trauma with the overdosed medications, your guess is as good as mine,” the
resident replied. He checked the machines surrounding the bedside again. “His
levels are going back up, so see, there’s nothing to get worked up over.”
AJ glared at the young
resident. He hated his carefree attitude about Nick’s condition.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung woke up when the
surgeon touched her lightly on the shoulder. She was shocked to think that she
had fallen asleep. It took her a few moments to orientate her to where she was.
“Hi, my name’s Dr.
Richards, Lizz is already out of surgery and back into ICU.”
Kyung looked at her watch.
“Oh my god, she’s been on the table for nine hours?”
“There were some
complications during the surgery, her lungs were starting to fail her, however,
we were lucky that the donor of her kidney was also a suitable donor for lungs
and we were able to request them before they were shipped elsewhere.”
Kyung gasped at the
thought of a lung transplant. Lizz had been in and out of hospitals most of her
life because of her lungs, at one time she had been on a critical waiting list.
“H..how
is she?” Kyung stammered, almost afriad to ask.
“She is doing okay,
holding her own. I feel that she will have a full recovery and with the new
lungs, she will have a new lease on life,” the doctor explained.
“Can I go see her?” Kyung
asked as she stood up.
“I don’t see why not,” Dr.
Richards replied.
“Thank you doctor, thanks
for everything,” Kyung said as she pumped the doctor’s hand up and down.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung hesitantly pushed
open the door to Lizz's room in the Surgical Intensive
Care Unit. The lighting was dim and the hiss of the ventilator could be heard,
along with the steady beeps of the heart monitor. Kyung pulled a chair close to
the side of the bed and sank into it. Lizz still hadn't woken up yet and other
than the tube that was in her mouth, she looked peaceful.
As she watched Lizz sleep,
Kyung’s thoughts drifted to what had happened in the past weeks. How
unbelievable it all was. She couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen
now. Everyone’s lives had changed so much because of all this. What would all
of this do to the Backstreet Boys? Especially Nick. Kyung felt encouraged that
he was expected to make a full recovery, but she also knew it would take time.
Not to mention he would always have to take seizure medications, according to
that doctor. What concerned her the most, however, was the psychological damage
that all this might have on Nick. How was he going to react when he found out
about the girl that donated Lizz’s kidney and now
lungs?
Kyung’s attention shifted
to Lizz. Lizz was a strong person, but this was more than she had ever had to
deal with before. Her life was going to be changed drastically in more ways
than one. She in the world’s spotlight as The Girl Who Followed Nick Carter’s
Suicide Attempt. There were still all kinds of different speculations as to why
she did it. It was anywhere from Lizz being an obsessive fan to a torrid affair
with Nick. This might be something that could follow her wherever she goes. In
addition to all that, providing her body didn’t reject her new organs, Lizz now
had a new lease on life. She now could think about having a family, a solid
career, even retiring someday without that little doubt in the back of her
head. Lizz had always remained positive and confident that she would reach an
old age, much for the benefit of those around her as well as for her own sake.
Kyung, being her best friend, knew that she had days where she felt
discouraged, but she always managed to push it away. Lizz often told Kyung that
God put her on this earth for a reason. She was going to live up to it. Now she
was going to be able to do it without the burden of compromised health. If she
could get through this...
Kyung sighed. It was
amazing to her how much Lizz and Nick were alike. And not all of it was
complimentary. They were both ornery and stubborn as hell. They made reckless
decisions without bothering to think about themselves. Kyung didn’t even want
to think about Lizz going to see Nick on her own and ending up tearing her
stitches. Nor did she want to remember Nick going to see Lizz and then having a
seizure right then and there. But on the other hand, it wasn’t all bad. They
were both two of the most sensitive people she had ever known. The entire time
that they had both been in the hospital, they didn’t seem to give much of a
damn about what was going on with themselves. Instead they were always asking
about each other or Brian or herself. She knew Lizz would have given anything
to make everything okay, no matter the cost. She knew Nick would have done the
same.
Kyung’s thoughts drifted
back to what was going on in OKC. She was a little concerned about leaving
Brian. He still hadn’t been sleeping or eating enough and she didn’t want him
to pass out again. She smiled sardonically when she realized that she wasn’t
doing a whole lot better herself. She hadn’t eaten since sometime yesterday
morning. And that was just a banana and a half a glass of orange juice. She
slipped her hand through Lizz’s and continued to
worry.
~*~*~*~*~
Nick opened his eyes and
shifted them around the room slowly, finally landing on AJ and then Brian. They
had both been waiting by his bed anxiously to wake up. The resident had left
not even ten minutes ago.
“Nick, how ya feeling?”
Brian asked softly.
“Yeah, man, you scared the
hell out of us.” AJ added.
“What...?” Nick whispered.
The sedation hadn’t completely worn off and he still looked pretty out of it.
Brian glanced at AJ
uncomfortably, not sure how to answer Nick. He didn’t want to say that he had a
panic attack and then Nick want to know why. But what was the use in trying to
hide it? Nick would have to know sooner or later.
“You had a panic attack.”
AJ said quietly.
Nick’s eyes widened. The
expression on his face changed from one of confusion to despair.
Brian’s heart fell. “You
saw the news huh?” He asked quietly.
Nick nodded, the tears
coming.
“Nick...” Brian started.
Nick just shook his head miserably. “No, Nick, listen to me. You cannot let
this tear you apart. Do you hear me? You have come too far in this. You’ve just
started getting better. The doctor’s say you are going to make a full recovery.
You can’t give up now.” Brian said emphatically.
“But Lizz...and her...”
Nick whispered.
“It’s awful that that
happened, but you can’t dwell on that. You have to learn from it. By giving up
you won’t help anyone. There are too many people that need you.” AJ said.
Nick shook his head. “No
one...” His voice was barely audible.
Brian stopped him. “Yes
they do! You family needs you, your fans need you, the Backstreet Boys need
you. I need you, Nick. And what about Lizz? She needs you. You two have barely
been able to talk to each other since this happened, but you have been helping
each other more than you know. You have to keep fighting.”
Nick nodded. He didn’t
look totally convinced, but he did look a little better. He scrunched up his
face in concentration. After a moment he asked quietly, “Lizz?”
“She’s in
“Don’t fret yet, maybe
Kyung forgot. I’m sure it’s kind of crazy down there.” AJ tried to calm the
urgency in Brian’s voice.
Nick watched the exchange
nervously. They were speaking too softly for him to hear what they were saying,
but he knew it was bad when he saw the look on Brian’s face. “What?!” He
demanded loudly.
Brian glanced at Nick.
“Ah, nothing. I’m going to page Kyung to call me back. We can find out how she
is.” He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the numbers. They waited quietly
for a few minutes. Nick was getting worried. He didn’t know how long he was out
for, but it seemed like Lizz had left many hours ago. A kidney transplant
shouldn’t have taken this long should it?
“I hope everything is
going smoothly there. Kyung was telling me that they knew a lot of people in
“Will they transfer her
back here?” AJ asked.
Brian shrugged. Nick
looked like he was ready to say something, but then Brian’s cell chirped.
AJ and Nick’s attention
was totally focused on Brian as he answered his cell phone. Although they hung
on every word on Brian’s end of the conversation, neither were able to decipher
what was happening with Lizz.
“Lizz is out of surgery
and in the Surgical Intensive Care Unit,” Brian said as he closed his cell
phone up.
“And?” AJ pressed for more
information.
“And so far it appears
that the transplants were successful,” Brian replied.
Nick slowly formed the
words to his question. “Is....she.....awake?”
Brian shook his head no.
“I’m afraid not yet, they have her pretty sedated and she’s on a ventilator.”
Nick started shaking his
head, his eyes filling with tears.
“Nick, it’s probably
common after surgery. They said they were able to give Lizz new lungs from the
same body so I’m assuming they put people on a ventilator after a lung
transplant,” Brian suggested.
“It’s all my fault,” Nick
said quietly.
“No it’s not,” Brian
replied, rubbing Nick’s shoulder.
“My fault,” Nick mumbled
quietly. Deep down he felt that there was nothing that Brian or AJ could say or
do that would make him change his mind about shouldering the blame for what
happened to Lizz.
~*~*~*~*~
Lizz’s eyes fluttered open as she quickly scanned the
unfamiliar room. Her eyes fell on Kyung, curled up in a chair next to her bed.
There were so many questions that Lizz wanted to ask. She slowly reached up and
touched the vent tubing, she knew she had no other choice but to wait for Kyung
to wake up.
“Good morning Lizz, glad
to see you’re awake,” a nurse cheerily stated to Lizz as she breezed into the
room.
Kyung jumped, startled by
the nurses voice.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t
realize you were still here,” the nurse apologised.
Kyung stretched. “It’s
okay, I really don’t want to be sleeping when Lizz is awake. Hi honey, how are
you feeling?”
Lizz managed to roll her
eyes in reply to Kyung.
“That bad, eh? Felt like
you were run over by a Mac Truck?”
Lizz blinked her eyes
twice for yes, it was the system her and Kyung were accustomed to from the last
time she was on a vent.
Kyung laughed. “I figured
as much.”
As she set about adjusting
Lizz’s pillows and blankets to make her feel more
comfortable she sighed deeply when her eyes met up with Lizz’s.
“Oh god, Lizz, can’t you
just worry about getting yourself stronger right now? I think you’re pretty
important and I don’t like seeing you run yourself down by worrying about
Nick.”
Lizz’s frown didn’t fade.
“I just talked to Brian to
update him on how you were and I told him you were doing good, but would need
rest.” Kyung sighed again. “Oh honestly Lizz, I didn’t ask how Nick was but I’m
sure he’s doing better.”
Lizz continued to stare at
Kyung. She knew that eventually her wishes would be figured out. Kyung and she
had shared that type of bond, each knowing what the other was thinking.
“But you can’t talk to him
silly, you’re on a vent....alright, alright, I’m dialing him right now, you are so stubborn.”
Lizz let her body relax a
bit. Her mission was accomplished. She dismissed the intense pain she was
feeling from the incisions and was silently praying that the nurse would hold off
injecting the morphine into her IV line just a little longer until after she
got to hear Nick’s voice.
“Hi Brian, it’s Kyung
again. Are you still with Nick?”
“Yup, haven’t left his
room yet,” Brian replied.
“Is he still awake?”
“For right now he is,
why?”
“Would he feel up to
talking to Lizz, she can’t answer him, but she is insisting that she at least
hear his voice.”
Brian looked at Nick
laying in bed with tear filled eyes. On one hand, it would be a good thing for
him to at least talk to Lizz but on the other hand, Brian wondered if this
would make his guilt increase knowing she’s on the ventilator and can’t answer
him.
“Um, I don’t know if it’s
a good idea or not,” Brian started to reply.
“Let me talk to her,” Nick
quietly insisted.
“She can’t talk back to
you,” Brian replied.
“I don’t care,” Nick
snapped back. “Give me the phone.”
~*~*~*~*~
I watched Kyung as she
talked to Brian and prayed that it would work out. I just needed to hear Nick’s
voice, that’s all.
“Okay...okay...” Kyung was
smiling now. She looked at me. “You have a couple minutes, but then you need to
get your pain meds.”
I blinked twice indicating
that I would be satisfied with that. I was hurting something fierce, but right
now that was not priority. Kyung leaned over and positioned the phone to my
ear.
“Hello? Lizz?” Nick asked
quietly. “I know...you can’t talk back...” He spoke slowly. “I’ve been worried
bout you.”
My eyes filled with tears.
It felt so good to hear him talking.
“I, uh, I’m sorry. I’m
sorry...that you have to go through this...” His voice broke.
I shut my eyes, the tears
streaming down my cheeks. God, there was so much I wanted to say to him. That
this was my fault, not his. That he shouldn’t say that, shouldn’t beat himself
up for this. I should have been able to stop this from happening. I didn’t
blame him in the slightest. I just wanted him to keep fighting and not ever
give up. To be strong for me.
“As soon as I can...Lizz,
I am going to be there. Okay?” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Lizz, I need to give you
your medication now.” My nurse told me. I started to shake my head, but stopped
when it sent shooting pains all through me. I threw a pleading look at Kyung,
but she wasn’t much help either. Damn it, I didn’t care how bad I was hurting,
I wanted to keep talking to Nick. Well, listening anyway.
“Lizz, I heard your nurse.
I’ll talk to you soon okay? Be strong for me. Keep the faith.” Nick encouraged
softly. More tears filled my eyes. Be strong for me. I nodded into the phone.
Kyung reached over and
took the phone back. “Nick?...Oh okay...” She glanced at Lizz, who was watching
her with tear-filled eyes. “Yeah, she’s fine. A little teary, but I think it
helped her. How’s Nick?...The news, why? Oh shit, he saw it didn’t he?” Kyung
murmured. She looked at Lizz again to see if she had heard, but she was
starting to nod off. “I can imagine. I’m afraid to tell Lizz. I don't know how
she is going to take it. Especially now. I know she will try to put the blame
on herself. The way they are both trying shoulder all the blame isn’t
healthy...I kinda get the idea that Lizz thinks that if she takes all the blame
it will somehow be easier on Nick. I bet he is doing the same thing...i know.
Hey, I need to make a few phone calls. Will you let me know if there is any
change?...Okay, bye Brian.” Kyung finally asked as she looked at the clock on
the wall. Lizz was asleep now so she decided to see if she could catch a few
moments herself.
~*~*~*~*~
As soon as Nick said his
good-bye to Lizz, he handed the phone back to Brian. Then he covered his eyes
and tried unsuccessfully to keep from crying. AJ rubbed his shoulder, while
watching Brian.
“No, it’s Brian.” He said
into the phone. “Is she okay?...” Brian shifted his gaze to Nick. “He’s the
same I think. Oh, I would recommend keeping Lizz from watching the news.” Brian
stated carefully, keeping his voice very soft. He didn’t want Nick to hear what
he was talking about. He wanted to avoid that whole subject. “...Yeah,
unfortunately. It was pretty bad...I know. Neither one of them will listen to
any of us either....I think you are right, but they need to let go of it before
it totally consumes them....Yeah, same with you....Bye Kyung.” Brian flipped
his phone shut and turned back to AJ and Nick.
“Bri, can I use your
laptop?” Nick asked as soon as Brian had hung up.
“Uh...I don’t think so.”
Brian shook his head.
“C’mon, like I would do
that to yours!” Nick exclaimed.
Brian pondered it a
moment. He never let Nick use his computer because out of anger, Nick had
thrown his own across the room a few months ago. The poor thing was never the
same. Brian didn’t want his laptop to meet the same demise. However when he
looked at Nick’s pleading eyes, he caved.
“Yeah, I guess so, but
why? What’s wrong with yours?” He asked hesitantly.
“I have an idea.” Nick
started. He glanced at AJ. “I have a huge favor to ask of you.”
“What?” AJ asked warily.
“I need you to take my
laptop to Lizz. Just until she can come back here again. So we can keep
talking.” Nick explained.
“All the way to
“Please AJ? This is really
important. It’s only a two hour drive.” Nick pleaded.
AJ sighed in defeat. “You
owe me big, man.”
Nick smiled. “Brian, will
you call Kyung back?”
Brian nodded, inwardly
pleased that Nick’s spirits seemed to have improved. He would do anything to
help Nick. He dialed the phone. After a quick conversation Brian hung up and
told Nick and AJ the plan. Kyung had agreed to meet AJ in Stroud which was
about halfway between OKC and
~*~*~*~*~
I had the back of my bed
elevated a little so I could see Nick’s laptop. When I woke up I was thrilled
when Kyung told me about Nick’s idea. I didn’t even mind being alone for a few
hours so Kyung could meet AJ to pick it up. I wasn’t sure what time it was when
I talked to Nick, but I knew it was pretty early in the day. It was dark now, but
it wasn’t too late. Just an hour ago they had taken out the vent, much to my
relief. I was on oxygen now and my throat hurt like a bitch, but anything to
have that tube out of me. Kyung had just set up the laptop for me and
positioned it so I could see it easily. It hurt to sit up this much (and I was
barely even sitting up), but I didn’t dare complain. I was too happy to get to
talk to Nick.
“All set babe?” She asked
as she keyed in the password to sign it onto the internet.
I nodded impatiently, but
smiled at her. She was an angel.
As soon as it said I was
connected I signed on to aol instant messenger. I
paused for a moment before choosing a name. I definitely wouldn’t use the one I
had before. I never wanted to see that one again. I chose another. Then
something occurred to me. How would he know I was on? I had his computer which
had his buddy lists, which had all my screen names on them. I decided to just
start putting in names that I knew of his. Finally, after four tries, I found
him.
Oceans My Mirror: hey!!
Nick Cartman: lizz!
Oceans My Mirror: how are
you doin?
Nick Cartman: doin better.
how are you?
I wasn’t about to tell him
how much pain I was in, but to tell ya the truth, that was actually of little
significance right now. I was finally talking to Nick and that was what
mattered.
Oceans My Mirror: doin
pretty good, considering lol. it was so good to hear your voice earlier. I was
gonna ask you to sing for me, but I decided to be nice and let ya off the hook
this time.
Nick Cartman: lol thanks
Nick Cartman: I’m not sure
I can even remember all the words yet. my brain is still screwed up
Oceans My Mirror: it’ll
come back to ya. so how are you really doing?
Nick Cartman: its hard. I
cant even think about that girl.
That girl? What did he
mean? Terri?
Oceans My Mirror: what do
you mean?
Nick Cartman: I don’t know
how to handle it. first you, now this girl commits suicide.
My jaw dropped. Suicide?!
Oh god, my donor. She killed herself. Oh god. My fault too. Oh god.
Nick Cartman: it’s gonna
take some time for us to get over this, ya know? i mean with that girl killing
herself and stuff i really do blame myself but i guess we have to look at the
good that came from this, right?
I hit enter and waited for
Lizz to reply. It seemed to be taking her forever to respond but I figured it
was because she was weak. A few minutes went by and nothing was returned.
Nick Cartman: Lizz? are ye
alive?
I was starting to wonder
if the AOL messenger was messed up. That was always a typical thing. I rebooted
the messenger and tried again.
Nick Cartman: yo! Lizzard....hello???
I looked up as Brian
entered the room, smiling from ear to ear. “So, Nick, how’s the chat going?”
“She’s not answering,
something’s wrong,” I replied, staring at the screen. “Something’s very wrong.
Call Kyung!”
“Nick, calm down, she’s
using your laptop, remember? Maybe it finally died, I mean those things aren’t
made to be thrown across rooms,” Brian observed.
I shook my head. “No, something’s
really wrong Brian, call her now!”
“Okay, okay, just calm
down,” Brian said as he opened his cell phone and started to punch the numbers
in.
I managed to watch Brian’s
face and look at the laptop screen simultaneously. I could see worry start to
spread across his face.
As the cell phone kept
ringing, Brian grew worried. This was not like Kyung, she usually picked up by
the second ring.
“What’s wrong? Something’s
happened, oh god,” I moaned. I knew something was definately
wrong now by the look on Brian’s face.
“It’s busy,” Brian lied as
he disconnected the number. He punched in a new set of numbers. “I’ll just try
her pager, she should be calling me within a few minutes.”
I nodded as I continued to
stare at the screen, waiting for Lizz to answer me.
~*~*~*~*~
Kyung jumped from her seat
when she saw the oxygen sats drop down to 91%. This was not a normal reading
for someone that is on continuous oxygen.
“Breathe Lizz, come on,
what’s wrong!”
Kyung grabbed her friend
by the shoulders and shook her, trying to stimulate her into breathing. When
nothing happened, she dashed into the bathroom filling a small cup with icewater. She returned to Lizz and splashed the water into
her face, causing Lizz to errupt into gasping breaths
of air. Her sats climbed back up to 99%.
“What’s wrong?”
Lizz just continued to
stare at the screen, pointing a finger at it.
Kyung turned the laptop
towards her and read the conversation. She gasped. She suddenly realized that
she and Brian’s plan had one small flaw in it, they forgot to tell Nick that
Lizz was unaware about the suicide of her organ doner.
“Shit, Lizz, I’m sorry you
had to hear about it like that,” Kyung said as she placed a comforting arm
around her best friend. “But you have to understand that this girl didn’t kill
herself because of Nick’s suicide attempt, she did it after reading all of the
false information that was printed in that paper. She was devestated
to think that Nick would never be able to walk, talk or sing again. Sweetheart,
you have to remember that although she took away God’s gift of life she
returned it by giving you a new chance in life, you can’t blame yourself,
understand me?”
Lizz managed to weakly
shake her head yes. She wanted to believe Kyung’s words about blame, but she
knew she would never be able to. If she had stopped Nick, the story would have
never been printed.
Before Kyung could
continue, her cell phone that was sitting on the table across the room started
ringing. She ignored it and hugged Lizz, trying to comfort her. When her pager
started to vibrate, she looked down at the message bar.
“Oh my god, type something
in, quick! Let them know you’re okay!”
Lizz nodded.
Oceans My Mirror: Sorry
about that, I had my nurse in here.
Nick Cartman: Thank god! I
was beginning to worry! Are you okay?
Oceans My Mirror: Nick, if
you don’t mind, I feel sleepy and I think I need to rest.
Nick Cartman: it’s okay
Lizz, talk to you tomorrow, love ya bye
Oceans My Mirror: Love you
too, bye
As Kyung disconnected the
internet and closed the laptop, Lizz settled back into the pillows and closed
her eyes.
~*~*~*~*~
I stood in the doorway to Lizz’s hospital room, I knew I was shaking, my legs were
still not used to supporting me. She was sleeping and I didn’t want to wake her
up. Brian stood behind me, his hand holding onto the stupid belt they made me
wear when I was up and about, ready to catch me if I fell.
“Come on Nick, this is all
I’ve been hearing out of your mouth for the past three weeks was how you
couldn’t wait to see her,” Brian whispered.
As I set my jaw, I
hesitantly took a step towards the threshold into Lizz’s
private room. My knees buckled, almost sending me crashing to the floor, but thankfully,
Brian had a grip on the belt and groaned as he braced himself and jerked me
back into a better position. The noise, unfortunately, woke Lizz up.
Lizz’s eyes focused on Nick standing at the foot of her
bed, a big smile on his face. She rubbed her eyes, chalking the vision up to
her not being fully awake or the medications she was taking.
I laughed at the confused
look on her face. God, she was so sweet and innocent looking! I really
appreciated her as a friend.
“Hey there lazy girl!” I
teased.
“Oh my god, Nick! Wait a
minute, you punk! You never told me they were letting you out!” Lizz folded her
arms across her chest. “I’m mad at you!”
I looked at her and tried
to give her my best face with a hurt look on it. I smiled when I saw the smile
spread across her face and watched in awe as she slowly pulled the covers off
her legs and gently raised herself out of her bed. Her steps were almost as
slow and shaky as mine, but her legs were stronger, I glanced back at Brian,
standing behind me. He looked a little nervous.
Lizz wrapped her arms
around me and pulled me into the tighest hug I’ve
ever gotten in my life.
“You really are tall.”
Brian raised an eyebrow to
that remark. He was expecting something a little different from her mouth.
Looking down at the top of
her head, I could only think of one remark, “And you’re definately
short, much shorter than I ever expected.”
“Sit down, I’ll climb back
into bed, we have lots to talk about,” Lizz directed as she walked back towards
her bed and slowly sat down. As she watched Nick struggle to walk towards the
chair, her heart sank, she felt a pang a guilt, still feeling that this was
something she could have prevented.
“I made arrangements to
have my physical therapy here so I could come and visit you until you were
better,” I stated, looking into her eyes to see if she was pleased with the
idea.
“Oh, Nick, that’s
wonderful. You know I worry about you too much, don’t you?”
I shook my head yes.
“Probably as much as I worry about you.”
~*~*~*~*~
I shook my head. I
couldn’t believe he was here.
“What?” Nick asked me.
I grinned at him. “Just
you being here. You look great.”
He smiled back. “I’m
feeling a lot better. Still the slow days, but ya know how it is.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I still
can’t get used to the idea of new lungs. I’m not 100% yet, but still, it blows
my mind. Plus, now I have a cool looking battle scar.” I nodded down to where
the incision traveled halfway down my chest.
Brian raised an eyebrow.
“Cool looking?” That wasn’t what he had expected to hear either.
I laughed. “Ya know...”
At that moment Kyung
walked in. I had totally forgotten that she went to the cafeteria. Her eyes lit
up when she saw Brian and Nick. “I take you made it here okay?”
I shot her an accusing
glare. “You were in on this too?”
She smirked at me. “Yeah,
what are ya gonna do about it?”
“Body slam you.”
Nick cracked up. “You and
your threats of body slamming! Have you followed through on one of those
threats yet?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Want to be the first?”
He laughed harder.
Brian watched us all,
shaking his head. I saw that he was trying to keep from laughing.
“You think that’s funny?!
Step in line!” I tossed at him.
That did it. We were all
laughing. Finally Brian stood up, giving Kyung pointed looks, and announced
that he was going to take a walk. Kyung hastily agreed and they left Nick and I
alone.
“Wow, I know we have
talked about everyday, but you being here is just...wow. An awesome surprise.”
I finished. I couldn’t stop smiling.
“That’s the idea.” He
replied. “So where’s your parents?”
My parents had finally
found out about two and a half weeks ago. They saw it on the news. Believe it
or not. All of Kyung attempts to get ahold of them
and then they see it on the news. They were in a mild state of shock when they
got here. I was relieved that I had had the surgery a couple of days before so
I was looking better. We had some long talks and since then, they had been up
here as much as possible.
“They went to get
something to eat.”
“You mean they left??”
Nick kidded. He was well aware of how I was starting to go a little crazy.
Don’t get me wrong, I was more than happy that they were here, but I was
starting to feel suffocated.
“No joke.” I rolled my
eyes.
There was a moment of
quiet. Then Nick spoke, his voice quiet. “Do you ever just sit back and think
about the whole thing? About why the things happened the way they did or what
would have happened if it didn’t happen that way?”
I nodded. “Constantly. If
I hadn’t signed on when I did. Terri and that damned tabloid. If that girl
hadn’t read that, she wouldn’t have...and I probably wouldn’t be here. I don’t
know what to think about that. If none of this would have happened, I wouldn’t
have new lungs. But you wouldn’t have had to go through all this. I would never
want you to go through this, even if that did mean dying younger than I would
now. But if this had never happened, there might have been another time ya
know? Another time that you might have tried something and what if no one was
there that time? But now after all this, so much as changed...Am I making any
sense?”
Nick nodded. “Complete
sense. I hate that I have affected so many people because of what I did. But
like you said, it might have happened again. But now, after seeing what the
consequences are, I would never go down that road again.” He stopped and bowed
his head. “But why did this have to be such an expensive lesson?” He whispered.
I reached over and put my
hand on his. “Because those are the ones that are the most well-learned. Nick,
you aren’t the only one who learned something. Everyone affected did. We’re
stronger because of this. You know that right?”
He looked up at me and
nodded.
“We’ve still got a way’s
to go. And not just physically. The world is going to remember this for awhile.
We can’t let what people say, get to us. We’ll get through this, all the way.”
Nick showed a hint of a
smile. “Damn Lizz, you sound like Brian.”
I grinned. “Thanks.” My
eyelids starting feeling heavy, but I fought it. I was so happy to see Nick, I
didn’t want to go to sleep now. But Nick noticed.
“Lizz, you need to rest.”
I shook my head, feeling
more and more drowsy. “It’s the meds. Well, that and they said I would be a lot
more tired for awhile...” I trailed off.
“So go to sleep. Lizzard, we have all the time in the world while I am
getting PT here.” Nick insisted.
“Okay, on one condition.”
I whispered, fighting sleep.
“What?”
“Sing for me.”
“Damn, you never give up
do you?” He rolled his eyes, but I saw a glint of a smile. “Okay, fine, but
don’t think this isn’t going to be a regular thing.
“Okay.” I grinned like the
Cheshire Cat. I relaxed into the covers. Nick’s beautiful voice was the last
thing I heard as I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Right at that moment, I
couldn’t have been happier.
The End
***
