Chapter 13
Weakness is all she felt. She didn’t
even want to move she felt good laying in total darkness. She had tried to open
her eyes but couldn’t and now she just didn’t have the will to do it….she
didn’t know how long she had been like this but she felt good even though she
couldn’t see or feel anything. Lately she did hear voices far away; first from
her mother who pleaded her to come out of it but, out of what? Even if her
words were tempting to her she couldn’t she liked where she was? Then today her
sister’s voice was bugging her with what she had said. Faintly she heard things
that she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear. She didn’t know if Gracie could hear her
or not but she was crying. Gracie was her little sister and it hurt her to know
that she was at fault for her unhappiness and yet she didn’t understand why she
never told her anything. She tried to remember how she got to this place of
darkness but as much as she tried it didn’t work. As good as she felt in here
she did wonder why she was here and where was Amber. She tried to remember
everything Gracie told her but most of it was Vague. All she remembered was
Gracie telling her that her dad did forgive her and that Amber needed her. As
much as she wished she could not get up and her eyes she couldn’t open. She was
getting frustrated why couldn’t she open her eyes? She controlled herself and
tried to move but nothing happened. All the thinking she was doing made her
tired and soon found herself going to sleep. She couldn’t help it was such a
calming sensation she couldn’t resist it….
*******
Gracie reached the elevator and sure
enough coming out was him. He looked different from the last time she had seen
him in person. He looked good though, she tried not to smile but it was hard
not too. For god sakes it was AJ McLean walking toward her! He was handsome
indeed; she shook her head and ignored the feeling in her gut. He walked up to
her with a worried yet nervous look. “Hey how was your flight?”
“Good, I guess…how is she, any changes
in her condition?” he tried to sound as subtle as possible but the truth was he
was anxious to see her. He gave her a weak smile as he remembered the last time
he had talked to Gracie Fernandez it wasn’t the best conversation in the world
to what he remembered. It actually was a very awkward conversation that
basically ruined his friendship with her. He rubbed the back of his neck as he
tried to think of something to say to her.
“She’s the same no changes yet. It’s
nice to see you again even if the circumstances that brought you back to Dallas
aren’t good.” Gracie could see the discomfort in his eyes and without a wanting
to felt jealousy sneaking in again. She sighed and pushed away her concerns and
spoke again. “Look Alex uhm, Amber is still here and I don’t want her to see
you yet or more like I don’t want her to know you’re here yet. So let me send
her home and then we can talk in detail about my sister’s condition as well as
how we are going to introduce you to your daughter. Wait here and don’t move it
will only take me five minutes to send her home. Mom has to go home and take
her medicine so I’ll send her with Amber so she can make sure she takes her
medication. I’ll be back.” She gave him a sincere smile and walked away.
He returned the smile and walked into
the snack bar machine. He had not eaten yet and he was feeling a little
appetite coming on. He didn’t know what it was but Gracie had a great
resemblance to Pamela now more than before well, on the face features anyways.
Pamela was four years and some months older than Gracie though. Gracie was hot
no doubt about it but, he just never thought of her as more than a friend and
fan when he was Backstreet boy. Gracie was the short one but she had her curves
and she always had her hair a dirty blond with blond streaks, it made her green
eyes stand out. Now she didn’t have the streaks but she still wore a little too
much make up for his taste. Seeing her made him remember his past with the guys
and all those crazed fans they had. It reminded him of the time Pamela and
Gracie went backstage to see them after a show in Houston, he remembered his
body guard Marcus telling him that Gracie
looked like she was wearing both hers and Pamela’s make-up. Of course it was a
joke between him and his body guard but it was funny. Pamela on the hand was
more quite and down to earth and even though she did mention once or twice that
she loved the Backstreet boys she didn’t go out on showing it. He looked
through the snack selection and smiled as he saw the Hershey’s Cookie’s &
Cream bar Pamela’s favorite. He couldn’t help but wonder if it still was her
favorite? “God please let Pamela get out this and I promise I will quit
smoking….again, but this time I won’t go back to it….it will be permanently.”
*******
“Make sure she takes all of her
medication sweetie and lay her down she needs to rest.” Gracie said as she saw
Amber and her mother get into Rick’s car. She smiled at how fast her niece was
able to get a boyfriend, but why not she was not a bombshell but she was pretty
and fit.
“Aunt Grace, calling you aunt Grace;
Are you ok?” Asked Amber as she walked toward her aunt again, “maybe you should
go home I can stay with mom.”
“NO, you need to go home and get
started on that homework you got, I’ll be fine I’m just a little worried about
mom that’s all, now go if you get hungry order yourself some pizza ok?”
“Ok, don’t worry aunt Grace, grandma
will be ok, she just needs to rest and I will make sure she gets it. Oh, call
me if there’s any changes ok?” with that Amber climbed into the car and left.
*********
It had been a long time since he had a
piece of chocolate and god he had forgotten how good it was. He had to remind
himself to at least have a chocolate once in a while. He was about to get
something to drink when he heard his name being called.
“Alex, Alex where are you I told you
not to move…” said Gracie as she looked around the hall.
“I’m here, I just stepped into the
lounge room for a snack see.” He should off his candy bar and water bottle he
had just gotten out of the vending machine.
“No, I’m sorry I should have asked if
you were hungry. I’m just a little out of it right now with mom being sick and
Pam being unconscious. Why don’t we go to the hospital restaurant and get you
something to eat?”
“No, I’m fine this will help me,
besides I hate hospital food. Lets just talk ok, we need to talk.” Alex took a
sip of his water as he waited for Gracie to talk.
“Fine, lets talk…uhm how about if we
talk in Pam’s room? We’ll be able to talk more privately than in the hall.” She
started walking toward the room where her sister lay.
He followed without a word; he held
his breath as they reached the room. He felt his heart sink as he saw her
laying there. She looked pale and like if she was in a deep sleep. Her once
luscious red hair look opaque and her true hair color had started to come out.
He felt the need to run out and pretend that all this was a false, that Pamela
was not here. He wished he could go back to when he did not know Pamela’s
whereabouts. To when he only thought of Pamela as a dream as a mystery woman he
met and never found again.
“The doctors say she’s only breathing
because of the machine. But I know that she’s there and she’s not ready to
go.” Said Gracie as she took a seat on
the couch she had been making her bed lately.
“Can’t we get another doctor to take a
look at her to see if they can do something to bring her back faster?” asked
Alex as he stared at Pamela.
“Well, Dr. Calloway said that there is
a surgery they can do to stimulate her brain cells to work properly and hurry
the process, but there is a possibility that it can also damage it. Leaving a
high percent chance for her to go into a vegetable state in which she would not
be able to do anything on her own.” Gracie held to the tears threatening to
come out as she looked at her sister.
“well there’s got to be a better Hospital
or Medical Center where they can do more research on her. You can’t resign or
stay with just on one diagnosis! My mother knows this brain specialist in
Florida, I can ask her to get his advice on this. Heck I can fly him down here
to see her himself, you know I might just do that!”
“Alex, this is one of the best
hospitals in Dallas and my family trusts Dr. Calloway she is a good friend of
the Dr. Jones. The doctor that operated on dad’s heart and that surgery kept
dad with us for fives longer than what they told him he would. So if he says
Dr. Calloway is the best at this we believe she is. I am sorry Alex for
sounding rude but, trust me the doctors have tried everything they can to get
her to come out of her coma and nothing has worked yet. The surgery is in the
plans but Dr. Calloway says we should wait at least a month to see if she comes
out on her own.”
“It’s ok; I have no right to think
that you or your families aren’t doing anything to help her. I just hate seeing
people I lo…..I mean appreciate like this.” He looked as far as he could away
from Gracie’s look so that she could not see the truth in his eyes. The truth
he knows can’t come out, first of all because he isn’t sure of how true this
truth is and secondly because he doesn’t want to hurt Gracie’s feelings again.
He took a deep sigh and valiantly asked the next question bugging him since he
took the plane in L.A.; “So how are we going to tell Amber about me?”
“I don’t know yet but….
***
