Chapter
2
Kevin slid
his cardkey in the lock and was rewarded with a tiny green light. Turning the
knob, he entered the Suite that he and the others would be sharing for the next
two nights. The space was tastefully decorated and had a generous living room
area, complete with large screen television and entertainment system. A tiny
kitchenette was off to the left, as was a breakfast table bedecked with fresh
flowers and a large fruit basket. He allowed himself a small sigh of
satisfaction: they certainly had come a long way in what they could afford. It
didn't seem like that long ago that they were sharing much more humble and
cramped accommodations: five of them to two beds, running water and
three-channel television as luxurious as it got. Those were the days when Nick
and Brian could curl up on a couch to sleep and neither fall off…
Nick.
He paused,
a pained frown sweeping across his face. The argument from the practice room
replayed in his memory, and he could see the hurt and confusion on the blond's
face. At the time, he'd been so angry that his words had seemed justified, but
now…
What in the
world had he done? Why had the words erupted from his mouth, and why had they
been calculated to hurt?
He sank
down on the couch, running a hand over his face as he shut his eyes. When had
things gone from simple to complex? It was a question that haunted him more
frequently these days. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good day,
or laughed, or even found something remotely amusing. He'd tried to chalk it up
to increased pressures from touring, from interviews and photo shoots and guest
appearances that never seemed to end. But the other guys hadn't been
complaining. They had simply continued on as usual, still able to joke and kid
around and uphold the positive, happy image the band was famous for.
What had
happened that made it different for him?
He should
be happy. He had a wonderful wife, a great career, a strong family behind him,
and more money than he could ever hope to spend in a lifetime. Music, his true
passion, was a daily part of his world. It simply didn't make sense.
He'd done a
lot of soul-searching over the last few weeks and still wasn't any closer to
finding an answer. That's why, when Nick had confronted him, he'd pushed back
so hard. If he, at the very center of the problem, couldn't figure things out,
Nick had less than a zero chance of truly understanding. The younger man's
insistence that he could help had sparked an anger in him, and he'd lost
control. He wondered exactly what damage he'd done with that particular
outburst, and not just to Nick. A small part of him had been all too aware of
the shocked looks on three other faces before he'd left.
The
headache that had been building slowly since that morning had now reached epic
proportions, and he wanted to do nothing more than take something for it and
lie down a while. A glance at his watch told him that he had four hours before
dinner, plenty of time to do as he pleased.
Getting up
carefully, he walked over to the pile of luggage that had been delivered and
sorted through it until he found his four suitcases. Picking up two, he walked
down the short hallway to the bedroom doors. There were three rooms to choose
from, and he arbitrarily picked the one on the right. Since each room had two
double beds, he put his suitcases on the spare one and retrieved the rest of
his things. He knew that no one would want to room with him; lately, there
hadn't even been a discussion on the matter. The others had made sure to give
him a wide berth.
He didn't
have the energy or inclination to unpack. Instead, he rifled through his
smaller bag and found the Tylenol, fishing two out of the bottle before tossing
it back. He took the pills, willing them to work quickly, and sat on the edge
of his bed. Knowing he had a few free minutes, he picked up the phone and
tried, once again, to reach Kris.
This time,
no busy signal interrupted the ring and he leaned forward, eager to speak to
the most important woman in his life. The click in his ear sounded just before
he heard her sweet voice.
"Hello!"
she said.
"Kristen,
it's-"
"No
one's home right now," continued the voice brightly. "I'm so sorry I
missed you… please leave a brief message and I'll call you back as soon as I
can. Thanks, and have a nice day!"
Kevin felt
his throat tightening in bitter disappointment. He hung up before the recording
tone sounded, not wanting to talk to a machine. His headache increased several
degrees.
He rose and
crossed the room, drawing the blinds shut. The action made the room comfortably
dark, a relief to his eyes. After a second he shut the door that led to the
main suite, not wanting to be disturbed. Thus isolated, he sank back on the
bed, not bothering to remove his shoes. Despite his expectations, sleep
overcame him within minutes, pushing his troublesome thoughts aside if only for
a little while.
**********
Howie
signed his name with a flourish… or, rather, his assumed name… and pushed the
guest register back towards the man behind the counter. His action was met with
a smile, and he was rewarded with a cardkey.
To the
four, the man said, "We've tightened security, as requested. Your Suite
can only be accessed through the private elevator, so that should help a great
deal. There will be staff on duty twenty-four hours a day to take care of any
requests you might have, and you may feel free to ask for me personally at any
time."
"Thank
you, Mr. Shannon," Brian said politely. "This is really a beautiful
hotel."
The manager
beamed with pride and said, "Columbus might not be New York or L.A., but
we do have our charms."
"Speaking
of which," Howie said, "we were wondering if you had any
recommendations on what to see nearby. We've got several hours this afternoon
and want to take advantage of our free time."
Mr. Shannon
retrieved a few pamphlets from behind him and spent the next few minutes giving
them advice.
"This
will be great," Brian said, nodding thanks. "The hard part will be
deciding what to do first."
"Is
there anything else I can do for you gentlemen now?" he asked.
"Uh,
yeah," Nick said, somewhat shyly. "First of all, could you tell us if
Kevin Richardson has checked in yet?"
"Yes,
Mr. Richardson checked in about forty-five minutes ago. I haven't noticed him
come downstairs, so perhaps he's waiting for you in the Suite."
"I'll
bet," AJ muttered, low enough for only his friends to hear. It earned him
a nudge from Howie.
"And
secondly?" Mr. Shannon asked.
Nick
cleared his throat. "This might sound like an odd request, but I'd like a
special arrangement made." He glanced at his bandmates, waiting until they
took the hint and stepped away to give him privacy. "It's about
tonight…"
A few
minutes of details later, Mr. Shannon nodded enthusiastically.
"That's
easily accomplished," he said. "I can guarantee the view will be
quite spectacular. But are you sure you want just the one chair?"
"Positive,"
Nick said, glad the man hadn't laughed at him.
"Consider
it done," he said with finality.
"I really
appreciate this," Nick said sincerely.
"My
pleasure," came the answer. "Anything we can do to make your stay the
best it can be."
The manager
watched as the four young men crossed the lobby together and waited for the
private elevator. The group had certainly not been what he'd expected; instead
of demanding, petulant, mega-star snobs, the Boys had been polite, forthright,
and quite down to earth. It was refreshing to see successful young people who
still had the capacity to act human. Even young Mister Richardson, the one that
had checked in earlier, had been perfectly civil… a bit distant, perhaps, but
not cold or disrespectful. Yes, it was quite refreshing.
With a
smile on his face, the manager of the White Star Hotel began making
arrangements for the special request, as promised.
**********
Nick
worriedly chewed on his lip for the entire ride up. What if Kevin were there,
and they got into another ugly fight? He didn't think he could face that twice
in one day. Or worse, what if Kevin refused to even speak to him? That was a
good possibility; AJ had received the silent treatment for two days over
something a whole lot more trivial than today. If that logic followed, Nick
would be in for at least a week of silence. He wasn't sure he could take that.
"Hey,
Frack," came Brian's gentle nudge, "swipe that look off your face,
will ya?"
"Yeah,"
Howie said. "Don't borrow trouble."
"Huh?"
Nick asked, not sure what Howie meant.
"It
means, don't worry about something until it actually happens," provided
AJ. There wasn't a trace of smugness or sarcasm in his voice this time.
Nick nodded
his understanding and realized his friends were right. But, like a lot of
things, it was easier said than done. He did his best to school his statement
and push his worry aside. A moment later the elevator pulled to a gentle halt.
After
walking down the short hallway, Howie did the honors for the group and unlocked
the door to the Suite.
"Hey,
not bad," AJ said approvingly.
"Very
nice," agreed Brian.
Nick
studied the assortment of luggage, then saw the closed door beyond the living
room.
"Kevin's
taken his stuff to his room already," he informed them. "It looks
like he doesn't want company."
"Maybe
he's just cooling off, getting some rest before dinner," Howie said. He
noted the apprehension in azure eyes but didn't quite know what to say to the youngest
Boy.
"Hey,
check out this game system," Brian said, hoping to distract Nick for a
moment. "With a screen that large, playing should be a real blast."
Nick
turned, taking in the entertainment system with a critical eye. Then, with real
interest, he moved closer.
"Sweet,"
he said, nodding. "Better than what we got on the bus, for sure. Now I can
whup your butt in an even bigger way, Frick."
"Dreamer,"
Brian said, grinning at the spark in Nick's eyes.
"We'll
see," predicted the blond.
"Which
room do you guys want?" Howie asked, nodding towards the hall.
"Me
and Bri will take the middle," Nick said.
"Hey,
wait… how come it's always you two together?" Howie asked with a slight
frown.
"Because
AJ would kill Nick within five minutes," Brian said wisely. "Remember
that time in Arizona when we tried that, and-"
"Oops,
yeah," Howie grinned. "I wonder if we're still banned from that
hotel?"
"Hey,"
AJ interjected, "that was all a misunderstanding…"
"Cops and
management pounding on the door at three AM because you two got into that
ridiculous screaming match, all over a pillow…" Brian said, shaking his
head.
"Let's
get our stuff in our rooms and get out of here," Howie said, forestalling
yet another replay of the incident. "Some of the suggestions Mr. Shannon made
sounded really fun."
"Right,
oh Wise One," Brian said, giving a theatrical bow.
Nick
smiled, enjoying the banter. A quick glance at the closed door on the right
made the smile fade, just a bit. He ignored it and got busy, ready for a
distraction that would last a few hours, at least.
**********
Kevin
blinked at the small bedside clock and scowled. How had he slept for that long?
He got up carefully, noting with dismay that the headache had faded, but not
disappeared. It was a questionable improvement.
He listened
for a moment, wondering if the others had arrived at the hotel. Hearing
nothing, he went into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. The
reflection that met his gaze didn't do much to improve his mood. He looked bad,
like he hadn't slept in ages; the three hour nap had been for naught.
He debated
whether to unpack or not. He stared at the closed door, knowing that the others
could be waiting for him… knowing that he'd have to confront them eventually.
Hoping to gather a bit of courage first, he put off the inevitable and opened a
suitcase.
Ten minutes
later, clothes were hanging in the closet or resting neatly in drawers, the
empty suitcases secured out of sight. A small framed picture of Kristen sat on
the nightstand, the same picture he'd carried with him since the first time
they had parted. He didn't want to think about how long ago that had been.
With a
sigh, he clenched his jaw and forced himself to leave the relative sanctuary of
his room. With relief he found himself alone in the Suite; all the baggage was
gone, so he knew the others had arrived and chosen rooms.
A note on
the coffee table caught his eye and he recognized Howie's flowing script: 'Kevin,
we've gone for a little tour around town, will be back in time to go to the restaurant
together at 7 PM. ~Howie'
Even after
everything, the guys… well, Howie, anyway… had cared enough to leave a note.
The gesture sent a pang of guilt through him. He knew he'd been treating
everyone poorly as of late, and none of them deserved it. He wished, for the
thousandth time, that he could put a finger on what was at the root of his
problem.
He knew he
would have to make amends with the guys, but that wouldn't solve the underlying
issue. Kevin was aware that if things didn't turn around, he would lose control
more and more often until he made a mistake he wouldn't be able to apologize
for. It was beyond frustrating.
Realizing
he had some time before the others returned, Kevin decided to take a shower and
get cleaned up before they got back. He tossed the note into the trash basket
and proceeded with his plan.
Unfortunately,
the shower did little to relieve his tension, and the heat made his headache
worse. As he began dressing, he tried to think of a plausible excuse to avoid
dinner with the group. He got the feeling that having a headache wouldn't be
enough… knowing them, they'd order room service and he would be stuck. He
couldn't say he wasn't hungry, because he really was. Skipping lunch, and only
having coffee and toast for breakfast, hadn't been the smartest idea in the
world.
With an
irritated sigh, Kevin realized he'd have to endure dinner or suffer excessive
concern from everyone involved. That, he couldn't stand. He'd make the minimal
apologies, go down to dinner, keep quiet, eat his meal, and excuse himself as
quickly as possible. With any luck, they would get the message and leave him
alone.
The phone
caught his eye and he stared at it for a moment. He wanted to speak to Kris so
badly that it hurt, but he wasn't sure he could take another disappointment.
After a minute's debate, he lifted the receiver and dialed.
This time,
to his surprise, Kristen answered on the third ring… the real Kris, not
a recording.
"Hello?"
she said.
"Kris?"
"Kevin?"
she asked, sounding as surprised as he.
"Yeah…
I've been trying to get you all day long," he said.
"I've
been busy," she said offhandedly. "I actually have to go out
soon."
Kevin
blinked. "Do you have a minute to talk?"
There was a
hesitation before she said, "Of course. How are things? Where are you?"
"I'm
at the hotel in Columbus, Ohio. We got here early. The guys are out… somewhere,
I don't know."
"Why
aren't you with them?" she asked.
"I…"
he swallowed. "It's a long story. They're due back here so we can all go
to dinner at 7."
"That's
nice," Kris said distractedly.
Kevin's
eyebrows raised a bit. He’d truly expected her to ask for an explanation… was
she even paying attention?
"Honey,"
he said, "are you okay? You seem kind of… spaced."
"I'm
sorry, Kev," she said quickly. "This has been one of those days, you
know?"
He gave a
bitter laugh. "Yeah, I can relate."
"Look,
sweetie, I'd love to chat, but I'm kind of pressed for time right now…"
"Something
happen?" he asked, suddenly worried.
"Nothing
major… I got a call from a good friend earlier and I promised to take care of
some things for him."
"Him?"
Kevin asked slowly.
"Yeah,
he's an… old buddy of mine. He's in a bind, and I agreed to help him out."
"Anyone
I know?"
"Mmm,
I think you've met," she said elusively. "Kev, it's so wonderful to
hear your voice, but I'm afraid I really have to get going. I'll give you a
call later, okay?"
"All
right," he answered, trying to hide his confusion and disappointment.
"Kris…"
"Yes?"
"I…
love you, honey."
"I
love you too," she said warmly. "Bye."
"Bye,"
he said, hearing a click not three seconds later.
Him? he thought, a sinking feeling in his stomach. What's going on?
Why was she so evasive? He shook his head. Surely I don't have to worry
about Kristen's behavior… she's always helping people out… just because the
friend is a guy doesn't mean a thing… Right?
His frown
deepened. Had he been treating her the same way he'd been treating the others?
Pushing her away, despite her attempts at communication and support? With despair
he admitted to himself he hadn't been exactly the most stellar of husbands
lately. He hadn't called her anywhere near as much as he had when the tour
started… lately it had been squeezing in the obligatory phone call in between
concerts, sharing a few photos online through Howie's laptop… No, it hadn't
been much. He used to collect souvenirs from each city to surprise her with…
send her cards whenever he got the chance… even would have flowers delivered in
the middle of the week, 'just because'. When had that stopped?
He loved
her more than he could say, but had he shown it lately?
A painful
sensation grew in the pit of his stomach, and he knew it had nothing to do with
hunger.
**********
"I'm
warning you," half-shouted, half-laughed Brian, "if you don't give it
back to me I swear I'll kill you, Alexander James!"
"Make
me, Brian Thomas," came the taunt.
Brian faked
him out with a quick move to the right before practically tackling him to the
hallway floor. At the very last second, AJ tossed the package in a mad throw to
Howie, who caught it neatly.
"Looking
for this?" Howie said with a wide smile, waving the prize.
"Traitor,"
Brian growled, lunging.
"Catch!"
Howie cried, flinging the object to the tall blond.
Nick, who
had been laughing at the entire scene, had to stretch to his limits to seize it
before it hit the wall. He held it high, knowing Brian would have to work hard
to wrest it from his grasp. He grinned, wiggling it temptingly.
Brian,
having years of practice, was not about to play fair. He slowly advanced on his
best friend, a rather evil look on his face. Nick's statement went from smug to
somewhat less confident to downright fearful. Brian knew all his weaknesses-
such as his worst tickle spots- and wasn't afraid to exploit them.
When the
shorter man had backed him up against the wall, making ominous wiggling motions
with his fingers, Nick gave a small cry of desperation and looked frantically
around for an escape. AJ, who was standing by the room door, waved his hands
wildly. Without thinking, Nick sailed the package through the air, hoping Brian
would go after it instead of him.
The toss
went wide and missed AJ by a good three feet, looking to strike the door square
in the middle…
**********
Kevin's
solitude was interrupted by a loud thump that echoed from the outer wall of the
Suite. He rose from the couch, wondering what on earth was making the
incredible racket. As he neared the door, he knew the answer… he could hear his
bandmates' yells and laughter.
A flash of
irritation swept through him. Surely they knew better than this! Another thump
sounded, this one coming from the floor. What in the hell-?
Angrily,
Kevin gripped the doorknob and inhaled deeply. As he yanked the door open, he
started to speak…
When
something flew directly into his chest.
WHOMP!
Silence.
Heavy,
total, ice-cold silence as time seemed to freeze the scene. Brian, a wince on
his face, stood gazing at his cousin as Kevin snapped his attention to the
bundle now on the floor. AJ stared at the doorway in disbelief at the perfect…
or imperfect… timing that had just occurred. Howie, who had just gotten to his
feet, took an instinctive step backwards. He glanced at Kevin for a second,
then darted his eyes towards Nick. The youngest Boy wore a horrified look on his
face. His blue eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open in either protest or
apology. Howie suppressed a groan and looked back to Kevin, who had just stood
upright.
"What.
Is. This."
"S-sorry,"
Nick said, his voice breaking on the single word. "Kevin, I didn't mean
to… I didn't think-"
Green eyes
flashed anger, cutting off Nick's words as effectively as a knife.
"Where
have I heard that before?" Kevin said through clenched teeth.
"We
were just fooling around, cuz," Brian said, putting his hands up in a placating
gesture. "None of us knew you'd open the door just as it got thrown."
Howie
licked his lips nervously and said, "Are you okay, Kev?"
The
question stopped Kevin cold. He blinked as the words hit him hard. The
question, so simple sounding, was resonating on much deeper levels. How in the
world could he answer that?
He looked
at his bandmates, noticing there was an incredible tension in the air. He
blinked again. Kevin realized, with a shock, that the strongest emotion he
could sense was fear. The four people he regarded as brothers, his
closest friends, were afraid. Of what he'd do, of what he'd say. All
over something as trivial as this.
The anger
he'd felt disappeared with the thought. In its place came despair, and regret.
What had he become?
"Kev?"
came the soft question.
He raised
his emerald eyes to Howie, who was watching him with true concern.
"It's…
I'm okay," he uttered, knowing it was really a lie. His lack of volume
clearly confused the others, judging by their looks.
Warily,
Brian drew near and took the bundle from Kevin's hands. "It's just a gift
for Leigh," he explained. "A little stuffed beanie bear thingy
wearing an Ohio State University shirt. Kinda stupid, I suppose."
Kevin
looked at the object, seeing it clearly for the first time. "A
souvenir," he said in a distant voice.
"Uh,
yeah," Brian replied, frowning. "Kev, are you really all right?"
"I'll
be fine," he said hollowly, turning back through the door.
For a
moment, the four remained in the hallway, totally puzzled by the reaction.
Then, with a shrug, Brian followed his cousin into the Suite. AJ gave Nick an
odd 'who knows?' look and did the same.
Howie
turned to Nick and said, "Come on, let's go inside."
"Why…"
Nick began. His voice dropped to a whisper and he continued, "Why didn't
he… get mad? I thought he was going to go nuclear…"
"I
don't know," Howie said. "It doesn't make sense."
"Unless,"
Nick breathed, "he's so angry-" A look of fear crossed his
face. "Oh God, D, what if he wants to kill me, I mean, really kill me? He
knows that it was me-"
"You're
borrowing again," Howie interrupted gently.
Nick ran a
hand through his hair in frustration as another thought struck.
"Damn," he said, his shoulders slumping. "There's no way he'll
agree to tonight. I should just call the whole thing off."
"Don't
cross it off the list of possibilities yet," he said as he patted his
younger brother on the shoulder. "Let's see what happens."
As they
followed the other three into the Suite, Nick shook his head. Despite Howie's
words, he knew deep down that he'd stepped over the line. He had, for all
intents and purposes, sabotaged his own plan.
**********
The silence
was awkward.
Brian
quietly put the souvenir with his things and returned to the group. He could
almost see the tension in the air. Kevin seemed to be lost in his own thoughts,
whatever they might be, and stared out of the large window at the cityscape;
the statement on his face was unreadable. AJ looked like he was itching for a
cigarette, his fingers tapping silently on his knee. Howie kept glancing
between Kevin and Nick, his dark eyes speculative.
And Nick…
Brian couldn't remember seeing him look so full of despair. The blond was
seated on the couch, his head bent down as he stared at the floor. It pained
him to see the contrast from minutes before… it was hard to believe it was the
same Nick that had been laughing so loudly in the hallway.
He rubbed
his eyes, and decided that if the tension was going to be broken, he'd have to
do it himself.
"Well,"
he said in his best upbeat tone, "it's about time we go on down to
dinner."
"I'm
not hungry," came the muffled reply from the couch.
"You?"
Brian tried to joke. "Come on, Frack, your being hungry is a Universal
Constant."
"I
don't feel like going," came the corrected reply.
"We
all have to eat," AJ reasoned. "That fruit basket over there ain't
gonna do it for me. Come on, it's just dinner, we aren't even leaving the
hotel."
"Right,"
Howie added. "Unless we want to have room service."
"No,"
came Kevin's voice unexpectedly. "Please, no room service tonight. Eat
downstairs."
"You're
coming too," Brian said firmly. "All five of us, one dinner."
Instead of
arguing, Kevin surprised him by nodding his head in acceptance.
"Okay,
then, let's go," Brian directed. Before anyone backs out, he added
silently, his eyes going from Kevin to Nick once again.
It was a
very quiet ride down.
***