Chapter
3
The waiter
left the table, dinner and drink orders in hand, and the group drifted towards
silence once again. AJ rubbed his eyes. There was no way he would be able to
sit through an entire meal this way. He shot a look towards Brian, who seemed
to understand it perfectly. At his encouraging nod, AJ began a conversation
about some of the sights they'd seen around Columbus, but neither Kevin nor
Nick contributed a word. After a couple of minutes, the subject was exhausted
and he looked helplessly at Howie. The older man shrugged, not having a clue
how to get things rolling.
The waiter
came back, distributed the drinks, informed them that the appetizers were on
their way, and left. Kevin poked at the ice in his glass for a moment, then
surprised the rest by speaking.
In a low voice
he said, "Look, I need to apologize for blowing up today at practice. I
wish I could take it back, but… I can't. I don't really have an excuse to give
you." He raised his eyes and glanced at Nick. "I just seem to have a
short temper lately."
"So
we've noticed," Brian said softly. "Kev, this isn't good. We hate
seeing you this way. If there's a problem with something specific, let us know
now. We'll change it, make adjustments, whatever it takes. But we can't go on
like this."
"I
know," came the regret-filled reply.
"So…
what is it that's got you on such a short fuse?" he asked. "Or is it
a bunch of things?"
Kevin
clenched his jaw. "That's just it," he said. "I can't explain
it. Not really."
"Keeping
it inside, bottled up, isn't going to cut it," Howie said with unusual
force. "You need to let us in."
"This
is something I have to figure out on my own," Kevin said, a bit of heat in
his voice. "It's complicated."
"So
complicated that the rest of us, the four of us, couldn't possibly
figure out?" AJ shot back.
"I
don't want to fight," Kevin said, his face getting a bit of color. "I
just wanted to say I was sorry."
Brian
studied his cousin for a moment. "Okay, Kev. Apology accepted."
AJ scowled
but added his agreement, as did Howie. Notably silent was Nick.
Finally,
without looking up from his water glass, he said, "No prob."
The simple
statement, and its soft delivery, sent a pang of guilt through Kevin's chest.
For some reason, Nick had taken the brunt of his anger; he had every right to
remain upset. But there wasn't a trace of hatred in his voice. Instead, all
Kevin could hear was sadness.
He wanted
to say something- anything- to the blond, but lacked both the courage and
inspiration. What could he say, after the way he'd treated him? How could he
explain something he didn't understand himself?
"Kev,"
Howie said, cutting into his thoughts, "the apology isn’t the important
issue here. The problem you're having is. We're flying blind, and getting
nowhere."
"If it
were any of us, you'd ask the same thing," Brian pointed out.
"I
just need to figure things out first, is all. When I'm ready, I'll talk about
it. Until then, I need time." Kevin said the words in his best 'no
argument' tone, something annoyingly familiar to the others.
"Fine,"
AJ said. "But you better be sure you don't let it go too far."
His warning
was emphasized with a look towards Nick's distant gaze. Kevin gave the smallest
of nods in understanding.
The moment
was interrupted by the arrival of their appetizers, and soon the subject moved
onto safer, more trivial ground. Kevin only half paid attention as the others
talked. Occasionally he looked over at Nick, but the younger man's eyes
remained locked on the table. He watched as the pile of mozzarella sticks,
normally Nick's favorite, grew cold as they were ignored. Finally, Brian
reached over and made a production of sneaking a stick from the plate, hoping
to get a reaction. When it came, it wasn't what he expected.
"Go
ahead, Bri. Take them." Nick pushed the plate over. Then he cleared his
throat and said, "Guys, I need to go see about something for a minute.
I'll be right back." He got up from his seat.
"Where
are you going?" Brian asked at once.
"I'll
be right back," came the elusive reply.
"I'll
come with you," Howie said as he stood. He had been watching Nick's
pensive mood and had guessed what was going on.
"Howie,
I don't need-"
"We
could all come," AJ said pointedly. He watched as Nick's shoulders
slumped in defeat.
"Fine,"
he said, then turned from the table.
Howie
matched his step and together they headed through the restaurant.
AJ muttered
something under his breath and Brian rubbed his eyes. Kevin, completely
mystified, finally spoke.
"What
was that about?"
"You
know, Kev," AJ said in a somewhat tired voice, "you have a bad habit
of underestimating that kid."
"Underestimating?"
"You
don't have a clue how much this is affecting him, do you?" came the
question. "You know he always takes things way too personally."
Kevin took
a steadying breath and said, "I know he's probably still mad about
yesterday-"
"Mad?"
AJ asked. He shook his head and gave the dark-haired man a long look.
"He's not mad, Kev. He's worried. Like the rest of us are
worried."
A frown.
Then, "But where did he just go, and why did Howie leave with him?"
Brian sighed.
"He went to cancel some plans, and Howie went along to make sure he
didn't."
"I
don't understand," Kevin said.
"It'll
be up to Nick to explain," Brian declared. "You're gonna have to ask
him about it."
**********
"Nick,
hold up," Howie said, his shorter legs not able to keep up the pace Nick
set.
"Look,
D, this isn't going to wash. It's better I trash the whole idea now-"
"You
can't cancel the plans," Howie stated flatly, catching his companion's
arm. He pulled him to a stop.
"I
can, and I will," Nick said in a low voice. "The whole thing was
stupid, I was an idiot to think anything I could do would make a
difference."
"Are
you serious? What happened today proves just how much Kevin needs it!"
"So
what's gonna happen tonight?" he said bitterly. "You think Kevin is
gonna do a 180 now, especially after what happened in the hall? It's better
that I cancel the arrangements and save everyone a lot of grief."
"Nick,
listen. You have to try."
"You
don't understand," Nick said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I blew
it, D. Kevin didn't go ballistic about the bear thing, but that doesn't mean he
isn't mad underneath. There isn't a chance in hell he'll want to go along with
it."
"You
don't know that for sure. Look, I'll bring up the subject of what we're planning
on doing tonight, and you can see what he says."
"But-"
"But
nothing. It's not like you to give up, Frack. Not on something this
important."
After a
moment, Nick looked into sincere brown eyes and realized Howie was right. He
couldn't just give up without even trying. Even if things didn't work out, at
least he could put in the effort.
"All
right," he relented. "I'll try."
Howie
smiled and clapped him on the back. "That's all you can do. Now, let's get
back before they eat all the good stuff."
With a wry
smile, Nick nodded and the two retraced their steps.
**********
Although
Kevin was consumed with curiosity, he held his questions and simply watched and
listened to Nick. Whatever had happened had shifted the blond's mood, and now
he was more talkative with the others. He still avoided prolonged eye contact
with the oldest, but that was understandable, considering. Finally the
conversation turned to the subject he wanted most to avoid: the evening's
activities.
"I'm
tellin' ya," AJ said enthusiastically, "this chick was hot.
While you were buying that doll-"
"It's
a bear!" Brian protested.
"Yeah,
whatever," AJ continued, "she was telling me about a couple of clubs
that sounded terrific. We need a night out, and who knows when we'll get
another chance!"
"Did
you see this supposedly 'hot chick', Howie?" Brian asked skeptically.
"Yeah,
she was definitely worth a second look," he said with a grin.
"And she did say her and a bunch of her friends were going club hopping
tonight."
"It
would be good to sample the local color," mused Brian.
"Count
me in," Howie said. "It sounds fun."
"Me
too," Brian said with a grin. "How about you, Kev? You can come along
and we can keep these two in line."
"Ah,
no," Kevin answered. "I'm not in a very social mood tonight."
"It'll
be good for you," AJ declared. "A little music, a little dancing, you
know… fun."
"I
don't think so," he said, shaking his head.
Howie gave
a slight frown and said, "Hey, wait a minute, guys. This isn't fair to
Nick… maybe we should stick around the Suite and watch movies or
something."
"Don't
bother," Nick said. "I… I have plans of my own." He seemed
uncertain, and didn't continue right away.
"What
kind of plans?" Brian asked, curious.
"Well…"
He stopped, chewing on his bottom lip and suddenly becoming quite interested in
his napkin.
"Well
what?" encouraged Howie.
"See,
it's a full moon, and there's going to be a total lunar eclipse tonight. I read
this article about it… it's kinda rare, and I thought it would be neat to watch
it. The next one isn't for another three years."
There was
surprise on all four faces around him. Finally, Brian broke the silence and
spoke.
"I
didn’t know you were into that kind of thing, Frack."
"The
science part of it took me a little time to understand," he admitted.
"I just thought that with the weather so perfect, and the timing just
right, it would be a shame to miss it." He finally looked up. "You
guys want to come?"
"Hmm,"
AJ said, pretending to ponder something, "let me see. Clubbing, where
there will be lots of hot babes and loud music, or watching the moon go dark.
Choices, choices…" He gave a smirk and said, "Sorry, Nicky boy,
there's no contest. You can have the moon."
"Where
are you going to watch the eclipse from?" came Kevin's soft drawl.
"Uh,
the roof. The view should be clear from there. I got permission from the hotel
manager already." Nick forced himself to look directly at his oldest
brother. "Are you… interested?"
Kevin
leaned back. "I've got some schedules to go over," he said by way of
answer. "Seems like tonight would be a perfect time for that."
Nick tried,
but he couldn't quite hide the look of utter disappointment that flickered
across his face. "I see," he said, fighting to keep his voice even.
"Jeeze,
Kev, schedules? As opposed to club hopping? Even staring at the moon would be
better than paperwork," AJ criticized.
"To
each their own, I suppose," Howie said diplomatically.
"So
about how long does this eclipse last?" Brian asked.
"The
whole thing is about an hour. It starts around ten o'clock." He darted a
glance at Kevin, but looked back at his best friend. "I think it would be
fun to see it with someone."
AJ shook
his head. "Sorry, Frack. Count the three of us out. By ten we'll have
already been to at least two clubs," he said. "The action gets
started early here, or so I'm told."
"I
hope y'all don't plan on staying out too late," Kevin said. "We've
got rehearsal and sound check at half past nine, followed by an interview, a
promotional meeting, and some photo op sessions."
"Don't
worry, Dad," AJ said in a childish voice. "We'll be good Boys
and make curfew."
"We'll
be back around one," Howie promised, playfully hitting AJ in the arm.
"Well,
Frack, it looks like you're on your own," Brian said.
"Yeah,"
Nick replied. "Just me and the moon."
Kevin
couldn't help but hear the slightly wistful tone in his voice, and he wondered
why the eclipse was so important to Nick. Then, with a mental shrug, he
dismissed the question. He had his own problems to contemplate tonight.
Dinner
finished smoothly, and soon the five were headed back to the Suite. While the
mood was much better on the ride up, Nick was notably withdrawn. It didn't go
unnoticed.
"Well,
Frack, it's a little too early to head out… what say we play a couple of
rounds?" Brian said. "I almost beat you yesterday, remember…"
Nick raised
an eyebrow and conjured a small smile. "I had you by a mile. The only time
you ever come close to beating me in a game is when I'm deathly ill or feeling
really generous."
"Sounds
like a challenge to me," AJ said with a grin.
**********
Kevin
resisted the inclination to retreat to his room and forced himself to remain in
one of the wingback chairs by the couch. While Brian and Nick began a game
session, Howie produced his laptop and activated it; soon, he and AJ were fully
focused on whatever was on the screen. From AJ's snickers, Kevin could only imagine
what those two were into.
A few
minutes passed before Brian let out a whoop of triumph over something, almost
immediately followed by his incredulous cry of protest. Kevin leaned back and
listened to the good-natured argument that ensued: Brian, accusing the blond of
cheating, Nick insisting it was sheer skill and ability that had snatched
victory from the jaws of defeat. Kevin sighed quietly. How many times had he
heard the same banter over the years? He couldn't remember a day they had spent
together that Nick hadn't been gaming. He wondered how it kept the younger
man's interest. How many games had he played? A thousand, two thousand? Five?
More? Such things failed to captured his interest, and he couldn't imagine what
Nick saw in it.
Of course,
he reflected, Nick was still a kid, and such things would hold an
appeal. It was something that he'd been doing ever since the group had formed;
it was probably more a habit now than anything else. After all, what else would
Nick do while confined to the bus or a hotel room because of his age? Even now
he was underage for most of the clubs, and wouldn't be legal to drink for months
yet. He supposed he should feel empathy for the younger Boy.
Kevin
shifted in his chair and caught the gleam in azure eyes as Nick fought for a
win. There was a light in those eyes, an excited passion that transformed his
features. The game was capturing his interest completely, and it was obvious he
was enjoying the battle. Suddenly, all thoughts of feeling sorry for Nick
vanished. Kevin blinked several times as two questions struck: When was the
last time he had enjoyed anything that much? And, when had he
been able to lose himself so totally and really let go?
The
realization that he couldn't remember filled him with despair. While he'd
naturally assumed the 'responsible' role in the group from the moment they had
gotten together, he'd always managed to have his fair share of fun along the
way. But…
Somehow
that had stopped. Really, it didn't make sense. The earlier years had been much
more of a struggle; now, they had their pick of where to go and what to
perform, and were welcomed by thousands of fans everywhere they played. Yet, he
wasn't half as happy as he'd once been. What, exactly, had changed?
He let out
a quiet, confused sigh. It was a puzzle that he was no closer to solving now
than he had been a week… or a month… ago.
**********
Howie
nudged his partner and gestured over to the chair Kevin occupied. Both saw the
slight frown and the distant look on his face, something that had appeared all
too often lately. Kevin was going into silent mode, withdrawing from his
friends and brothers yet again.
AJ bit back
a sound of frustration. Suddenly, he didn't have much confidence that Nick's
plan would work out; with Kevin looking the way he did, it wouldn't be long
before the dark-haired man made excuses to leave the others and retreat away
from their company. It was a pattern that had been played out way too often.
He glanced
at Nick and Brian, who were finishing up whatever game they'd been playing. It
was almost time to leave, and for some reason he wanted to get out of the Suite
before Kevin's retreat. It only took a look at Howie to get the message across,
and his partner quickly shut down his laptop without protest.
Surprisingly
enough it was Brian who gave the final victory shout. He jumped up from the
couch and whooped a bit, then took a bow in front of imagined cheering fans.
Nick gave a
loud groan but tempered it with a grin. Good naturedly he said, "Sheesh,
nothing like a humble winner, Bri."
"Capital
'w' in Winner," Brian said smugly. "You never had a chance."
"Gimme
a break," Nick said, getting up and stretching. "I have to let you
win once in a while or you pout like a baby and won't play anymore."
Brian
stopped his actions and crossed his arms. "You are not telling me
you let me win!"
"Like
I said…"
"No,
no, no! I won, I beat you, you lost, you are the lo-ser,"
he said in a sing-song voice.
Nick rolled
his eyes, but laughed. "Whatever, Frick."
Howie shook
his head in amusement. "Well, if you're done gloating, Brian, it's about
time to head out."
"That's
right," AJ added, "the fine ladies of Columbus are waiting!"
"Don't
tell that to Leigh," Brian said. "She might be jealous!"
AJ made a
'whip-snap' sound, which caused Nick and Howie to snicker. Even Kevin cracked a
smile.
"Yeah,
right. You've got 'married man' stamped across your face. It's that
beaten, whipped look that every woman recognizes instantly. You're safe."
AJ chuckled at the look of consternation that crossed Brian's face.
"Man,"
he mumbled as he made his way to his room, "no respect… I just get no
respect around here…"
Howie
grinned and shook his head, knowing Brian wasn't really offended. "AJ, you
ready to go?"
"Me?"
he said, puffing out his chest. "I'm always r-"
"AJ!"
said Howie and Nick simultaneously, cutting his words off.
"Sheesh,"
he mumbled. "It's not like I say it-"
"All
the time," Howie finished. "Yes, you do. Come on, this is your last
chance to primp in front of the mirror."
"Hey,
I do not primp!" he protested loudly. "Making sure you look
your best is not primping!"
"Yeah,"
Howie teased, "but doing it for half an hour is." He ducked as AJ
tried to punch him on the shoulder, then took off down the hall.
Nick
grinned after the pair. For a moment, he wished he was going clubbing with
them… age limitation or no. But the grin faded with a sigh as he realized that
wishing for something didn't change reality. As soon as the three left, he
would be stuck in the Suite with Kevin… and from the look on the oldest Boy's
face, he knew it would be a long, silent evening.
Although he
wasn't thirsty, he moved towards the kitchenette to get a soda… something to
occupy the suddenly awkward moment. He could feel Kevin's eyes on him, but he
couldn't think of a thing to say that wouldn't sound lame or forced. He
lingered by the fridge as long as he could before going back to the living
room.
Not knowing
what else to do, he sat back on the couch and set his soda on the coffee table.
He picked up the magazine that had started it all less than a day ago and tried
to conjure up some interest in the words. Really, the lunar eclipse was a neat
phenomenon, one he'd never seen. Well, it looked like he'd be watching it
tonight, if for no other reason than to avoid the troubled emerald gaze of his
brother. Maybe the time on the roof, alone, would allow him come up with
another, better way to help Kevin.
He checked
the clock on the VCR and realized that he had an hour and fifteen to kill
before celestial show time. What in the world was he going to do until then?
Surely not sit there as the tension grew in the room. He supposed he could play
some solo games, but it was never as fun as when he had a partner. He had no
interesting paperbacks to read, and couldn't think of a single person he wanted
to talk with on the phone even if it was just to kill time. He wasn't
tired, didn't feel like unpacking, and wasn't interested in whatever the
television had to offer. There were movies to use in the VCR, but nothing
sounded appealing.
The abrupt
ringing of the room phone made him jump slightly, and after realizing that
Kevin was making no move to pick it up, he lifted the receiver.
"Hello?"
he said uncertainly.
"Hello,
this is Mr. Shannon at the front desk," came the familiar voice. "I'd
like to speak to Nick Carter, please."
"This
is me," he replied.
"Good,
good. I just called to tell your request has been filled and everything is
ready for you on the roof. If you take the private elevator up to the top
level, you'll find the access door unlocked. Is there anything else you
require?"
"Were
you able to get the telescope and all?" Nick asked.
"Yes,
it's a beautiful piece of equipment. You should see the eclipse with crystal
clarity."
"Great.
I really appreciate it, Mr. Shannon. Thanks."
"My
pleasure. Now, if you need anything else, just give the desk a ring. Enjoy your
evening."
"Thanks,
you too," he said, then hung up the phone. He sat back, lost in his
thoughts.
"You
got them to put a telescope on the roof for you?" came the slightly
surprised question a moment later.
Nick
blinked, then regarded Kevin. "Yeah, sure."
"Is
it… yours?"
He frowned
at the odd tone. "Yeah, Kev, I paid for it. With my own money," he
added distinctly.
Kevin
crossed his arms. "What in the world are you going to do with a telescope
after tonight? We don't exactly have a ton of room on the bus-"
Nick's
frown deepened. "I arranged to have it donated to a local elementary
school. Mr. Shannon recommended one."
"Donated?"
"Yeah,
you know, give it away as a gift. My school had one, I thought it would be
cool." He shrugged, then looked away.
"That's…"
Kevin cleared his throat. "That's a good idea." He said it as if he
were truly surprised.
Nick didn't
respond. He couldn't decide if he should be offended or pleased. The question
was forgotten as AJ, Howie and Brian emerged, ready for a night of clubbing.
"Come
on, Kev," Brian said as he clapped his cousin on the shoulder. "Last
chance to join us. It would do you some good to get a bit of fresh air and
fun."
"Fresh
air, in a club? Not likely," came the answer. "Go. Have a good time.
Just remember to be back at a reasonable hour."
"Yah,
yah," said AJ with a wave of dismissal.
Howie shook
his head and said, "Have fun, you guys. Enjoy the eclipse," he added
with a look directly at Kevin.
"Bye,"
Nick said, watching as his three brothers left the Suite. He was trying to
think of what to do next when Kevin solved the problem with a comment.
"Well,
I'm going to work on those schedules. When is that eclipse thing again?"
"It
starts at 10."
"Right.
Well, have fun."
Nick was
glad his face was turned away from Kevin's, because he couldn't prevent the
look of disappointment that crossed it. His shoulders slumped as he listened to
the other man walk across the room and shut the door behind him.
There was a
time, not so long ago, that he might have allowed tears of frustration to roll
down his cheeks… but not now. Any tears, if and when he did shed them, would be
because of much graver circumstances. After all, he wasn't a child. Still, the
pain in his chest was sharp and strong and he needed to vent somehow. Clenching
his jaw, he snatched the controller from where he'd dropped it and started a
game.
**********
Barely a
minute after he'd gone into his room, Kevin could hear familiar sounds coming
from beyond his door: Nick was playing a video game. Again.
It was too
bad the others had gone. He had no interest in keeping Nick entertained until
his little roof excursion; he didn't care for video games, and Nick wasn't the
most riveting conversationalist in the world. He was curious about the
entire eclipse thing. It didn't seem like something the youngest Boy would
really be interested in, but any questions would have to wait. He had
responsibilities to tend to at the moment.
Kevin
opened his travel planner and spread out schedules, itinerary, and tour notes
on the small desk. He also retrieved a small packet of paperwork that needed
his attention and quickly immersed himself in the details. Paperwork was
normally a dreaded, but necessary, part of his job, but tonight he was grateful
for the diversion. He read through several contracts, put his signature on a
few more forms, and made some notes to share with the other Boys later. The
latest sales and financial reports looked good; the guys should be happy to
hear that, not that they were living hand to mouth these days. It was nice to
see their hard work paying off.
He finally
leaned back in his chair, surprised when he looked at the clock: he'd been busy
for forty-five minutes. With all the paperwork finished, and the tour details
practically memorized, he had no excuses to remain in his room. He certainly
wasn't tired; the only television in the Suite was the main one, in the living
room. The phone held no appeal either. After the last disturbing talk with
Kris, he had no desire to try again. Really, there was no reason to stay.
It was then
he noticed the silence that came from the outer room. Gone were the sounds of
on-screen action, miniature explosions and scripted drama. Even normal
television sounds were absent; obviously Nick had tired of playing. Kevin
wondered idly when that had happened. Noting the time again, he figured that
his bandmate had gone up early to the roof.
He opened
the door and made his way to the common area, fully expecting to find the Suite
empty. Instead, he saw a familiar blond head bent over something at the kitchen
table. A few steps forward revealed Nick taking notes from an opened magazine,
a decidedly odd sight.
A pair of
azure eyes glanced up and caught his gaze. In their depths was a mix of
surprise, hope, and wariness.
"Hey,"
came the neutral greeting.
"Hey,"
Kevin replied awkwardly. He suddenly wanted to turn around and go back to his
room, but fought the pull. "Ah, what are you doing?" he said, nodding
at the pad of paper covered with writing.
"Just
taking some notes from this magazine. Some things I want to look up on the Net
the next time I get a chance."
"About
the eclipse?"
"Among
other things, yeah."
When Nick
fell silent, Kevin shifted uncomfortably and walked over to the fridge. He
retrieved a cold soda and leaned against the counter.
"Kind
of unusual, isn't it?"
"The
eclipse?" Nick asked. Could Kevin actually be interested? Hope
blossomed in his chest. "Like I said before, it only happens under rare
circumstances. The next one-"
"I
wasn't talking about the eclipse," Kevin interrupted. "I was
referring to you taking notes like that."
Nick
blinked. A frown crossed his face.
"I do
know how to read and write, Kev."
"I
know that," he said, wondering at the suppressed anger in the younger
man's voice. "That's not what I meant. I just find it unusual to see you
wrapped up in something so… so…"
"Intellectual?"
Nick provided bitterly.
"Well,
yeah."
"Jeeze,
thanks, Kev."
"I
didn't mean it like that," Kevin began explaining.
"Sure
you did," Nick shot back as he stood abruptly. "God forbid I have any
interests besides video games and practical jokes."
Kevin
winced as the words he'd hurled at the younger Boy earlier were thrown back in
his face.
"Look,
I'm sorry I said that before," he said, truly not wanting to argue.
"Me
too. I'm sorry for a lot of things." Angrily, Nick gathered his papers and
pushed in his chair. He stormed down the hallway and disappeared into his room.
Kevin
rubbed his eyes. He had messed up royally… how many times did that make in one
day? Too many, came the silent answer. Rewinding the conversation, he
realized how condescending he must have sounded to Nick. He hadn't meant to
hurt his younger brother, far from it. He only wanted to ease the tension
between them by starting a conversation…
The slam of
a bedroom door gave him only a few seconds warning before Nick strode through
the living room once again. He shrugged on his coat as he moved, not looking in
Kevin's direction.
"Nick,
wait," Kevin said. "I know you're angry, but we should talk about
it-"
The tall
blond stopped in his tracks and spun on his bandmate. His blue eyes sparked
with emotion.
"That's
exactly it," he hissed. "We should. But that's not happening,
is it Kev? Friendship is supposed to be a two-way street." He paused.
"It's obvious you don't trust me with your problems, don't think I'm
capable of understanding anything. You've been avoiding me and the others for
way too long, so I'm going to make it easy on you tonight. I'm leaving. You can
have the whole Suite to yourself."
"Wait,"
he said, feeling anger rise rapidly. "You can't just leave like-"
"I can’t?”
he interrupted. “You're so smart, Kevin… tell me, how do you spell the
word 'hypocrite'?" He didn't wait for an answer.
Kevin
stared at the door, the sound of its hard closing echoing in his mind. A wave
of angered frustration swept over him, and he slammed a fist on the counter.
The resulting pain helped focus his thoughts. Muttering a curse, he ran a hand
through his hair, wondering what he'd done.
He took
three steps towards the door before he stopped himself. Although he knew he'd
have to talk with Nick and smooth things over, now was not the time to try. Not
when he was angry, not when his temper was at the breaking point. He needed to
cool off a bit, regain his composure before confronting the blond. The last thing
he could afford to do was make the situation worse.
**********
Nick found
himself on the roof without ever registering the journey. Once his eyes
adjusted to the dim light, he saw that the hotel had, indeed, fulfilled his
request.
He walked
over to the telescope and ran a hand along its smooth surface. It was a
beautiful instrument, and the thought that after the eclipse it would be
enjoyed by schoolchildren for years to come was gratifying. For a moment, the
cutting pain in his chest eased a bit as he thought back to his early memories
of school. Mrs. Gilcrest, his fifth grade teacher, had loved teaching about the
stars and constellations. He recalled a special night-time field trip, with
both parents and kids, to a secluded spot where a special telescope had been
set up. Each child had taken a turn at the scope, amazed to see both planets
and stars so clearly. It had been like magic.
Nick shook
his head and sighed.
He'd had
such great hopes for the evening. The timing had been perfect, the weather, cooperative…
even the arrangements had gone without a hitch. But then he'd screwed things up
not once, but twice. He let his anger get the best of him, and had ruined the
entire thing. He glanced at his watch: in fifteen minutes, his cell phone would
ring, and he'd have to deliver the disappointing news. That was the worst part.
She'd seemed so enthusiastic…
He walked
to the edge of the roof and looked at the view in front of him. Tiny pinpoints
of light glittered quietly in the darkness, scattered as far as the eye could
see. It was beautiful, but he found no comfort in the display. The ache in his
chest returned, and he suddenly felt a chill. He knew it had nothing to do with
the temperature, but he drew his outrider coat closer anyway.
Feeling an
enormous sense of failure, he walked back to the telescope and the chair next
to it. He sat down after a moment and rubbed at the tension in the back of his
neck. Leaning back, he shut his eyes, trying to let his thoughts settle.
Slowly the
tightness faded and the pain from his argument with Kevin eased a bit. He
looked up, finally, at the bright moon above him and let out a long sigh. Maybe
he'd expected too much. After all, who was he to think he could really help his
much older and more experienced brother? In that, Kev was probably right. What
could he know about what was troubling the older man? His theories seemed to
fly away into the night sky. He'd been foolish to think he could actually know
what was going on.
It would be
up to the others, he realized. He'd lost his chance to help Kevin.
Knowing he
would be sole witness to the eclipse, he leaned forward and began adjusting the
scope. The moon jumped into view and he fine-tuned the focus so that every
lunar mountain and valley was as crisp as possible. Despite the circumstance,
he felt a bit of interest at the impending event. It would have been much
better had his plan worked out, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
He was so
involved with the view that he never heard the door open behind him.
***