Chapter 12
I could smell the scent of breakfast wafting up the stairs into the
bedroom before I even opened my eyes. Nick had brought me breakfast in bed
everyday for the past week. It had become the ritual since he'd arrived home
and I could certainly get used to it. I sighed and rolled over, stretching out
on the bed and yawning. It was then that I noticed the huge vase of roses on
the bedside stand. They were beautiful. I sat up and leaned over towards them,
breathing in the scent as I grabbed the card and opened it carefully.
Happy Birthday Babe!
Words could never express how much I love you or how much you mean to
me. I want you to know that I am the happiest I've ever been when I'm with you.
I want you to know that you are the bravest, most beautiful, most incredible
person I have ever had the priviledge to love.
You are my life and I love you.
Nick
I smiled and wiped the tears from my cheeks as I slid the card back
into it's envelope and tucked it carefully into the drawer on my side of the
bed. That was where I kept every card or note he'd ever written me. I'd opened
that drawer so many times in the past several months and found comfort in his
words.
I closed the drawer and laid back on the bed. I stared up at the
ceiling and tried to get just a little bit excited about the day. It was
afterall my 26th birthday... I should be enjoying it. I used to love my
birthday, look forward to it all year long. Last year I'd gone out with a bunch
of friends to the bars and we'd partied all night long, but this year my heart
just wasn't in it.
I had often wondered how people felt when they knew they were dying...
I wondered how they went on with their lives, celebrated birthdays and holidays
and good times knowing that they would be their last. I struggled with it. It
wasn't that I didn't want to celebrate my birthday... it was that I didn't want
this to be the last birthday I ever celebrated.
I pulled my journal out from underneath my pillow and opened it up to
the page of quotes I'd been writing down over the past six and a half months.
Anytime I was feeling down or negative I read the quotes... they somehow made
me feel better. I read the first quote I came to from one of my favorite books
Tuesdays with Morrie;
"When all of this started, I asked myself, 'Am I going to withdraw
from the world like most people do, or am I going to live?' I decided I am
going to live -- or at least try to live -- the way I want. With dignity...
with courage... with humor... with composure."
I read it over and over in my mind and decided right then and there
that I needed to change my attitude. This was MY birthday, quite possibly the
last birthday I would celebrate and I didn't want to spend it wallowing in self
pity. I looked out the window and realized that for the first time in 6 days it
wasn't raining. I smiled. Maybe this day wouldn't be so bad afterall.
I heard the door to the bedroom squeak open and saw his head peek in.
"You awake babe?" He said walking in slowly carrying a tray
loaded down with breakfast. He shuffled over to the bed and set it down in
front of me before climbing in on his side and covering up with the blankets.
I stared down at the meal before me. He'd made my favorite, french
toast and he'd brought strawberries, champagne and orange juice.
"Hmm..." I said taking a sip of the champagne ... "This
reminds me of a meal we had together once."
He smiled taking a strawberry from the tray and feeding it to me,
"You remembered."
"Of course I remember Nick... that was the best day of my
life."
He leaned over and kissed me gently, "Mine too."
We sat there in bed together and ate our breakfast. He assured me that
he'd only planned a 'small get together' for that night because he knew I
hadn't wanted a huge party and I felt relieved. When we were finished with breakfast
he lifted the tray from the bed and walked with it to the bedroom door.
"Wait here," He said as he walked out the door, "I have
something for you."
I sat in bed and wondered what it could possibly be. He'd left the
house only once since arriving home last week and that had been the day before
with Kevin. I heard the front door shut and figured he'd be gone for a few
minutes. I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I was changing into a
pair of blue jeans and a sweatshirt when he peeked his head back in the door.
"What are you doing out of bed?" He asked as he came into the
room and helped me with my sweatshirt.
"I've been in bed all week Nick, I don't want to spend my birthday
there too." I smiled up at him and he smiled back.
"That's good to hear. But can you sit here on the bed for just a
second while I get your gift."
"Sure." I sat down and covered my eyes as he'd requested. I
could hear him out in the hall moving around and then I heard him come back in
the room.
"Okay," He said, "Open your eyes!"
I took my hands away from my eyes and squealed with delight. He was
standing there in front of me holding the most adorable tan colored Great Dane
puppy I had ever seen.
"Oh my God Nick! How did you know??"
I had always wanted a Great Dane since I was a little girl but had
never had the room for one. I couldn't remember ever mentioning it to Nick
though.
"Kevin."
"Aww," I said as he handed me the puppy and it licked my
cheeks, "remind me to kiss him later."
Nick laughed and sat down beside me reaching over to scratch the puppy
on the head. "Well, what do you think we should name her?"
"Okay," I said looking at him and laughing. "This might
sound crazy, but it's a name I've had picked out for years. If you don't like
it we can name her something different though..."
He held up his hand and stopped me, "Spit it out already
doofus!"
We laughed together and I told him the name.
"I like Kahlua."
I looked over at him expecting him to bust out laughing but he didn't.
"Like the alcohol?" He grinned, "I love it."
I laid back on the bed and let Kahlua cuddle up close to my body. I
didn't have to try to be happy anymore... I truly was.
***
