Brian
“When I came
back… she wasn’t there…”
“Brian, where are we?”
“I honestly don’t have a clue, baby.”
“Daddy, did you get us lost again?”
“I sure did, bub.”
“That’s just great, of all the men I could have
married, I married one who doesn’t know how to read a map.”
“You still love me.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Brian smiled. It was a nice memory. They had been
stuck in Germany in, well somewhere. Of all the places you can get lost in, he wouldn’t
recommend Germany. People speak the weirdest language over there and they could
barely ask you for an autograph in English.
“Let’s just get back to the hotel.”
“I don’t wanna go back to the hotel, mommy!”
“He doesn’t wanna go back to the hotel, mommy!”
“Shut up Brian.”
“Ooooh…”
She was in a foul mood. She always was whenever they
got lost in a foreign country. He could get lost in their own house! Maybe the
reason she got so grumpy all the time was that he didn’t. He saw it as a great
adventure and apparently Baylee did too.
“Can I go out and ask someone, dad?”
“Sure, I’ll go with you!”
The great thing with these kind of countries was that
no one knew who he was if he wasn’t busy performing in a concert. He loved it
to interact with people who just thought he was a witless tourist. Leighanne
suspected he got lost on purpose. One more reason for her bad mood.
They spotted a young man standing next to an enormous,
black truck. Jesus, that truck must be
the size of like two of our tour buses together!
“Sir! Can we ask you something, bitte?”
Brian grinned proudly. He had taught his son a little
about foreign languages. To be honest, he didn’t know many more words himself.
“Bitte?”
“Yes, bitte…”
Baylee frowned. Brian laughed, and the man looked at
them, uncomprehending.
“Herr, wir ummmmm, wir wanted to weißen wo der
ummmm Movie Museum ist.”
There! That should get the job done!
“Yes, can you tell us please? My dad really wants to
go there!”
Pfffffft, right ‘my dad’!
The man just looked at them in an annoyed way and
pointed at a sign on the opposite of the road. Movie Museum, 2 kilometer.
“Oh… right, thanks”
Brian smiled sheepishly at the man as he heard his son
cracking up in the background. To do list
for today: Getting embarrassed in front of my son, check.
As they walked back to the Jeep, he thought it was
gonna be a long day.
“I don’t believe
in God.”
What? Who doesn’t? Where did that come from? Certainly not from me! His world faded
to black. What’s this?!
“Remember when we used to rule the world?”
“Oh yes, Brian, I do.”
“What happened?”
“Disney Channel happened.”
“But I love Disney Channel Uncle Nick!”
“You, Baylee, are a traitor.”
“Daddy likes Disney Channel too!”
“No I don’t.”
“Yes he does!”
“Baylee, shut up.”
Nick hadn’t let him live that down, saying in nearly
every interview that Brian was in love with Miley
Cyrus. Thank you, bub…
“It’s not right
to bury a nine year old kid, goddamnit!” What the
hell?!
“Do I get to sleep in a bunk bed, daddy?’’
“I don’t know, do you want to?” Stupid question.
“YEAH!”
“Let me go, ask AJ.”
“Uncle AJ, do we sleep in bunk beds on the cruise?”
“I don’t know, do you want to?”
“Stupid question!”
“YEAH!”
“I’ll go ask Howie. HOWARD?”
“WHAT?”
“ARE THERE ANY BUNK BEDS ON THE CRUISE?”
“I HAVE NO IDEA MCLEAN, DO YOU WANT TO?” Stupid question.
“Maybe, but Baylee does too!”
“YEAH!”
“Go ask Nick, he’s an expert on bunk beds.”
Amazing how long a conversation could last without
actually getting any information. We
truly are a bunch of morons.
“There’s no Frack without a Frick, remember?”
Nick?
“With that, I now officially name you, Frick and
Frack.”
“Shut up Howard.”
“What? You two are totally like my two little nephews.
You know, John’s twins? Inseparable when they’re together, wreaking havoc on
earth. There is always something wrong when you put them together.”
“Ah, cool!”
“They’re eight years old, Nickolas.”
“So?”
“Well, you, and… nevermind…”
Nick had smiled at Brian. Mission accomplished. It was always fun to catch Howie off guard. Frick and Frack. Finally Howie comes up with something good.
“I need my big
brother back.” What the hell is wrong with you Nick? Where are you?
“She’s dead Brian!”
“What, who’s dead?”
“My little sister, she’s dead!”
“My god…”
“What do I do now.”
“It’s gonna be alright, Nicky.”
“No it’s not, I should have been there!”
“You couldn’t have stopped her from taking the overdose
Nick.”
“I could have tried!”
“No way.”
“Wait, I didn’t tell you she died on an overdose…”
He had let his guard slip. Nick didn’t really notice
back then. He had been too upset. Brian had done his best to comfort him. He
couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a part of your family like that.
“Where am I
going to end up without you?” It’s
alright Nick, you’ll do fine.
“Your life isn’t
over yet, just please, come back.” I’ll be right there, hold on.
He saw the black
truck racing towards them, saw the huge headlights on the road, but didn’t have
time to turn away. Only moments later he saw his dead wife, heard the painful
screams of their son. NO!
BANG!
He woke up with a start, but shut his eyes again at
the light in the room. The room was dark, but that didn’t seem to matter to his
eyes. It felt like minutes before he dared to open them again. he looked around
in the room. Does seem a little familiar.
When he looked closer he saw Nick lying on top of him, crying. Get. The. Hell. Off. Of. Me.
Nick must have sensed his movement, cause he stopped
crying and looked up. The look on his face would have been hilarious if it
wasn’t covered in tears.
“My God, Brian?”
It was difficult to stay awake, so he nodded and
closed his eyes again.
“Brian!”
The hell do you
want?
“Brian, stay with me, I’ll get the doctor!”
What
doctor?! He recognized the room now. Hospital,
terrific… what happened this time? He wanted to ask Nick but found that he
couldn’t. What’s that in my throat, oh
let me guess, yep, breathing tube, just great! If there was one thing he
had learned to hate over the years, it were hospitals. Whenever he ended up in
one, everybody always acted as if he was going to die in a few seconds. I’m stronger than you think.
But not right now. Right now he felt as if he had died
and had gone straight to hell and back. My
god, everything hurts.
“Good evening, mister Littrell, welcome back, how are
we feeling?”
Who’s we,
asshole? Brian glared at him and stared at
the breathing tube in his mouth.
“Ah, right, your lungs have been pretty damaged. I
think it’s best to let that thing breathe for you for a little while longer,
don’t you?”
Absolutely not! He shook his head best he could and made a groaning
noise. Yeah, you tell him, Littrell.
“Are you sure about that?” Stupid question.
He tried to nod.
“Alright then, if you’re sure, we can try to get it
out. But I’m warning you, if we pull it
out and you can’t breathe properly, we have to shove it back in.” Yeah, whatever. It didn’t sound nice,
but he had to try. He looked at Nick for confirmation, who had been standing in
by the bed with a sheepish grin plastered on his face. He just shrugged. Thanks, you’re great help, Nick.
“Okay, I think it’s best to sedate you before we go on
with the procedure.” You really don’t get
it doc, I’m so drugged up I could run a drug factory all by myself. The
doctor injected something in his arm and helped him to sit up. Suddenly he knew
what the doctor had meant by having to sedate him. His chest felt like it had
been hit by a million bricks. My god, how
can I ever breathe without this thing?
With the help of the doctor’s hands and Nick’s
guiding, encouraging words the tube came out of his lungs. He gasped and
choked, unable to draw a proper breath.
“Brian! Just take it easy, man!” You take it easy! He began to cough, deep hacking sounds from his
broken lungs. After what seemed like hours he was able to breathe normally. The
doctor got him some water, which he gratefully accepted.
“How are you feeling buddy?”
“Like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
“Pretty much.”
He looked at Nick questioningly. It couldn’t be real right? It had been just a nightmare, like all those
times before, right? He couldn’t have come back to this, right?
He curled
up in a small ball when he realized what those words meant.
***
