Chapter 6

AJ looked at his grandmother with tears in his eyes. "But if I loved her, wouldn't I be betraying Sarah? Sarah and I were so perfect togeather. I love her with all my heart and soul. But..."

"Alexander James! I'm here hoping your grandfather will find someone that makes him happy, even though he is an old cout."

"Nana! That's my Papa you're talking about!"

Laughing, his grandmother looked at AJ, tears of joy sparkling in her eyes. "Yes, I know. But do you see what I'm trying to say? Sarah wants you to be happy, not for you to throw your life away. Just like I want your grandfather to be happy and not have to worry about what I think."

"Great, now I have three women gaining up on me!"

"Three?" his grandmother asked puzzled.

"Yea, you, Sarah, and Elizabeth. Well, she'd be gaining up on me if she was anything like you. I'll never know. You're the one..."

"Now wait a minute! Didn't I tell you I haven't seen her? She's not here, Alex. She's not dead. I don't know how to make it any clearer for you."

"If...if...if she's not dead, then where is she?" he asked, his skin becoming paler by the second.

"I can't tell you. But I can give you a hint: She's closer then you relise."

"Wha...What do you mean?"

Sighing, his grandmother wrapped her arms around him tighter. "Alex, I'm not aloud to tell you. You really need to talk with your mother."

"But how can I when I'm stuck here?"

"Anya told you what you needed to do to go back."

"Yea," he responded bitterly, "I have to deside in my heart. Well it's not that easy!"

"Isn't it?"

"But I want to stay here with you and Sarah!"

Slowly, his grandmother handed him the book. "You've desided what you want to do. Now it's time for you to stop denying it to yourself."

Kissing AJ's forehead, his grandmother stood up. "I'll leave you here to figure it out. Just remember, I'm only a memory away."

Before he could respond, she disapeard into the mist.

"God, I hate when everyone does that." Slowly, AJ opened the book and turned to Jennifer.

She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. OK, so most people might disagree with him. But her perfect heart and soul shone through with a light he had never seen before. Somewhere along the way, while he was stuck in this place, AJ had fallen in love and now he didn't know what to do.

"I see you've desided," a soft voice floated over to him.

Startled, AJ looked up into Anya's green eyes.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to wipe the tears away before Anya saw them.

"You fallen in love again. You want to go back."

Shaking his head stubberly AJ wispered, "I want to be with Sarah."

Gently, she laid her hand on his arm. "A part of you heart will always want ot be with her. You love her, and you always will. But AJ, you can't throw your life away because of that. Your heart is screaming to go back. Listen to it."

"But I don't know how..."

"Just walk into the forest, it'll take you home. Live a long life, and be happy. I better not see you hear again," she said with a smile before walking away.

Slowly AJ stood up. Anya and Nana were right, he needed to keep living. Without looking back, AJ walked into the woods...

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"I'm back, Alex. I'm sorry it's been a while, but sneaking in here isnt as easy as it sounds," Jennifer said quietly, trying to keep her voice upbeat. Seeing him lie there without responding to anything broke her heart.

"What am I going to do? You're the most pressious thing to me. I know, I know, I know. When you wake up you'll go back to your life and I'll never see you again. Well, you know what they say, 'It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all'. What were they thinking when they said that? I agree whoever "they" are need to get a life.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to burden you with my hearache. I guess I should learn to live with disapointment. But it's just so hard! How am I suppose to just accept you never loving me? Or the fact that I'll never see you again? Or that you're famous and wouldn't even give someone like me a second glance.

"Yea, I found out who you were. I like your music. Can't say you don't know how to sing, or make people feel better about life. Maybe someday I can hear that gorgeous voice of yours again, even if it's only on the radio."

Gently, she layed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. For hours she layed there, letting her mind "what if" and "if only".

Standing up, she brushed his hair out of his eyes. "You're hair's getting long again. You want me to cut it? Fine, but you have to wake up first. I want you to see yourself before I do. I've got to head out, but I'll be back soon. Just wake up quickly, please?"

Bending down, she kissed him gently, letting her heart open up and show itself to AJ. Even if he wasn't awake, he could at least know she loved him she reasoned with herself.

Quickly she waked out of the room.

Slowly, AJ opened his eyes letting them ajust to the darkened room. He felt like Sleeping Beauty waking up, yet his heart screamed for his princess who had broken the spell.

"I love you, Jennifer," he wispered into the dark weakly.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Nothin's wrong! I'm purfectly fine, Train!" Nick protested.

"Bull-shit, Carter! You just got bailed out of jail for being roally stupid! If nothing's wrong then why were you in jail? You were framed?" Kevin spat sarcastically.

"Exactly!"

"Oh my God! You think you were framed for something that you clearly did! Nick, you're our little brother and it hurts us to see you distroy yourself like this. You remember what it was like when AJ was having problems, don't you?"

"Don't menchen that name!"

"Why? He's one of your best friends..."

"Was one of my best friends. You kinda can't be friends with someone who's never coming back because they're dead."

"Jesus, is that what yu think, Nicky?" Kevin asked, tears filling his eyes. Wrapping Nick in his arms trying to comphort him like a big brother Kevin let him cry. "You know, if you want Alex to come back, you've got to have faith he will. I felt the same way you are feeling now. The only difference is that someone special knocked me upside the head and made me relise that giving up wasn't going to help him. He needs us and if we give up then what hope does he have?"

"You really think so?" Nick asked, tears pouring down his face.

"I know so. Before we relise it, he's going to be bitching about not getting out of here. You just have to believe and have faith he will. What good is it going to do any of us giving up? If Alex could see you what would he say?"

"He'd tell me to grow up and stop acting so stupid. I just...I don't know what to do anymore. The only time I've actually felt normal was..."

"When you were drunk and high? It may make you feel normal, but at the same time, you're killing yourself. I know life hasn't been easy on you. You've never really had the chance to be a normal kid. But Nicky, we've all had to go through things that ourselves.

"In fact look at AJ. Unlike the rest of us, he never had a father and had to start working really young just to pay the bills. Or Brian, I mean he never had a normal childhood because of his heart problem. Then there's Howie. OK, so for the most part he was a normal kid, but he still had to deal with Caroline being sick so much. Yea, out of all of us, I had the most normal, but it wasn't all that. Dad was the best dad in the world, but he was still sick a lot. And you know Brian's more like a brother to me then Tim and Jerald, but I had to face his problems with him.

"So see, you're not alone. Please, let us help you. I don't want to force anything on you, but I'm not going to sit back and let you distroy yourself the way I did with AJ. I care about you guys too much."

"I...I just don't know."

"GOD DAMN IT, NICK! Haven't yu been listening to a God Damn thing I've been saying?"

"Yes, It's just...You know what AJ went through, and I don't want..."

"You know, I don't give a fuck anymore. For once you're going to listen to me and do what you need to do to get help. I'm sick of seeing you act like this and throw your life away, and for once I'm putting my foot down. You're getting help and that's the end of it."

"Train, you ok?" brian asked walking into the hospital waiting room.

"Yea. Nick's getting help for his little...'problem'."

"You confinced him..."

"No, I'm making him and he's not going to stop me."

"But, Train, you can't force someone to..."

"Watch me, Rok!"

"Kev, bro, calm down. He'll be fine."

"Damn strait! Espessually if I have anything to say about it."

"Guys, will you stop talking about me like I'm not in the room? It's not like I don't have feelings too," Nick said.

"Shut up, Carter!" Kevin practically screamed.

"Don't scream at my best friend, Kevin," Brian said, deathly quiet.

"If he's going to get any better he's going to listen to me!"

"He's not going to listen if you keep screaming at him like that!"

"Guys, you'll never believe what just happend!" Elizabeth said, running into the room.

Stopping, she looked around at the three guys glaring at each other.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Elizabeth asked worried.

"Nothing!" Kevin hissed, pissed beyond the point of no return.

"Bull-shit Richardson!" Turning to Elizabeth, Brian smiled apologetically. "Sorry about all this, but Kevin and Nick can't seem to get along with each other right now."

"Maybe I can do something," she suggested to Brian softly.

"I hope so. Both of them aren't listening to reason!"

Slowly, Elizabeth walked up to Kevin and Nick, praying she'd say the right thing. I don't want to make a bigger messof everything, God. Give me something, please, she prayed silently to herself.

"Kevin, Nick, what's going on?" she asked calmly.

"Nothing. Nick's just being a stubbern...bastard!" Kevin spat out.

"And you're being a controlling asshole," Nick shot back.

"I wouldn't be if you'd do what I'm telling you to do."

"You're not my father!"

"Thank God."

"And what do you mean by that? I'm not good enough for you?"

"You're too bull-headed for your own good! Why can't you see I'm doing all of this for your own good?"

"My own good?!?! You're not me, Kevin, you don't know what's good for me or not! You're always trying to run my life. Well look where it's got me!"

"Oh, I see," Kevin drawled sarcastically. "I'm the one who pour the booze down your throat. You didn't want to, but I made you. And I held a gun to your head and forced you to take all those drugs too I suppose?"

"Cut the crap! You know what I ment!"

"Yea, I know what you ment. I'm the best mind reader in the world."

"See what I mean? You're always taking things I say and twisting them around..."

"GUYS!" Elizabeth whistled.

Kevin and Nick tore their eyes away from eachother and looked and the woman standing betwwen them. Her eyes were filled with fire and disapointment. Nick and Kevin were too good of friends to throw everything out the window when they needed the other the most.

"Nick, I know you don't want to go through what you had to watch AJ go through. But if you want to feel normal again, you have to. We're only doing this because we care too much to sit back and do nothing. You're a good friend to all of us, and we don't want to see you hurt anymore.

"As for you, Mr. Richardson," She said, turning her gaze upon her husband. " I don't know what you think you'd be gaining by ganging up on Nick like you have, but you're pushing him farther away. He doesn't need a father right now, he needs his big brother. If you two don't cut the crap, you're going to loose each other, and personally I don't think AJ would be too happy about it.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have a nice long visit with him. I'm sure he's borred out of his mind watching the paint peel off the walls. I'll tell him you're here, but until you both get your heads out of your ass' you can't come see him. If he agrees with me then you're stuck."

"And how do you know if he'll agree with you or not?" Nick asked sinically.

"He'll open his mouth and tell me. What did you think I ment, Nick. Next time you wake up from a coma and have no one there to talk to tthen you can bitch. Until then, grow up...both of you."

Without another word, Elizabeth stormed out of the waiting room, leaving  both Kevin and Nick standing in middle of the room, their jaws dropped open.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

AJ layed in his bed, daydreaming about Jennifer. Ever sence he woke up, he prayed that she'd come see him so he could meet her without limbo coming in between them. But as the days passed, she didn't come.

He was staring to get depressed. Didn't she love him anymore? Didn't she care? Little did he know that she came in the middle of the night to sit with him. Jennifer was terrified that if he ever saw her he'd reject her. She couldn't stand the thoughts of him turning her away.

Just as AJ was ready to snap and get out of his hospital bed to go looking for her himself, Elizabeth walked into the room.

"Who are you?" he asked suspisiously.

"Gee, thanks," she said smiling. "I thought when people were in a coma and were introduced to people, they'd know when they woke up."

"Yea, well, I had a lot going on when I was out," he said, smiling at her joke.

"I'm Elizabeth. Your...Kevin's wife."

"Ah, so you're the one Kevin keeps going off about. I was begaining to think he made you up. I guess he didn't."

Laughing, Elizabeth sat in the chair next to AJ's bed. "Yea, well, he likes to brag. What can I say?"

"Speaking of, where is the pompouse son of a bitch?"

Elizabeth's eyes darkened. "He and Nick are having a little...altercation in the waiting room right now. I don't know when they'll be done. But don't worry, as soon as they get everything worked out they'll be in to see you."

"Nick got himself into a lot of shit didn't he?" AJ asked, concerned.

"He'll be fine, he just needs...some help right now. I guess he took everything he knows from you, he's being stubbern and doesn't want to admit he's got a problem," she answered sadly.

"I wish I'd been a better role-modle for him. If I was maybe he wouldn't have dug himself a hole he can't get out of."

"He'll be fine, we just need to give him some time to relise what he's doing is killing him and those around him who actually give a damn."

AJ grinned, "You sound like me."

"I hope so. I guess it's a...never mind," she said, breaking off suddenly.

"No, tell me. What were you going to say?"

"Why not talk about it with your mom. In fact, she's downstairs getting some coffee. I'll go get her."

"Mrs. Elizabeth Richardson, stay right here and tell me what the fuck is going on. I don't want to hear it from my mother, I want to hear it from you! Now talk."

Elizabeth took a deep beath and let it out slowly. Silently, she studied the young man laying next to her. His mocha eyes flashed with a fire so bright she involentaraly shivered. It was if his eyes penitrated down to her very soul.

"I don't know if I should," her voice barely whispered.

"Please," he begged. "I don't know if I can take everyone having secrets much longer."

Looking at him, she could tell he was struggling. It was all she could do to keep from wrapping her arms around him and holding him tightly.

"Just after Kevin and I eloped, he started helping me look for my biological family. I'd been looking myself for a couple years already, but I had come to a dead end. See, aparently I wasn't adopted the way most kids are. Well, after looking in the most inovious places he found out what happend to me when I was a baby and found my family.

"I was a still-born baby. Three months early to boot. For eight in a half hours I wasn't breathing. Oh my heart kept trying to star on it's own, but without air it wasn't doing any good. They finally took me off the resperator because they gave up on me, and that's when I desided it was time for me to breath and come back to the real world. By then, the doctor had already told my mother that I was dead. When the nurse that was in charge of me discovered me breathing and coherent, she took me back to her house with her. Leaving the doctor and my mother to think that she took me down to the morg. Well, I guess I was too much for her to handle because two years later she switched me with a still born that had no hope of coming back like I had. Sence I was born so early and had so many problems at the begaining, I looked like a healthy newborn. No one thought anything of it.

"When Kevin found out that's what really happend to me, he started hunting all over the place looking for a woman who had given birth three months early and had a baby girl the same time I was born. He got the results and when he finally told me, I nearly had a heart-attack. Come to find out the woman who was my mother had a son three months younger then me. He was born with almost the same problems I was. But unlike me, he was lead a perfectly happy, healty, and successflu life. See, my twin brother's in the hospital fighting for his life. He was in a serious car accedent and there were times we didn't think he'd make it back to us."

As she talked, tears streamed down Elizabeth's face. It was hard enough knowing the truth for herself. Talking about it made her heart break even more.

Carefully, AJ reached over and took her hand, tears streaming down his face, and a smile so bright it could light up New York City streached across his face.

"You know what made me come back?" he asked softly.

Elizabeth could only shake her head no.

"Nana, my grandmother, kept insisting my twin sister needed me. That my sister wasn't with her. She wouldn't tell me why even though I kept pestering her to tell me. I guess Nana wanted me to find out after I came back. She's funny like that.

You know what this means though, don't you?"

Confused, Elizabeth looked at him. "No...what?"

"I finally have an older brother. Or are you forgetting you're married to Kevin?"

Elizabeth laughed, leaning over and giving he a gental, yet firm, hug. "I love you too."

Suddenly, the hospital room's door swung open, startaling the reunited sibling. AJ's face glowed even more when he saw who was standing in the doorway.

"I...I...I'm sorry. I must...have the wrong room," Jennifer stuttered, shocked to find AJ awake with a strange woman holding him close. "I'm sorry. I'll...I'll close the door on my way out."

"Wait, Jennifer, don't go." AJ called out desperately. "Please, come back!"

"How do you know my name?" she asked startled, turning around to face him.

"I know more then your name. I know you're gorgeous, have the heart and sould of an angel, you're funny, and sweet, and gental, and careing, and no matter what anyone tells you, you're going to do what you think is right. You could have lost your job coming to see me, but you didn't care," AJ answered, desperate to keep her in the room with him.

"I think I'll leave you two to get better aquanted. I'll be back later to check on you, Alex," Elizabeth said with a smile. When her brother was in love, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hide it. She didn't know what it was, but some how this  young woman broke through and brought AJ back to all of them.

Slowly, Jennifer walked over to AJ's side. "How do you know so much about me?"

"When I check out of reality, I was taken to this...place. I saw you when you came to see me. I remember everything you talked to me about. You didn't care if I couldn't respond, you just kept treating me as if I could. Jennifer, if it wasn't for you, I'd never have come back. I would have sat there and pined for Sarah, not caring about anyone else. You showed me it was ok to love again. I'll always love Sarah, but I want to be with you, forever. Jennifer I love you," AJ said in a rush, afraid the words would never make it out if he didn't say them now.

"I love you too ALex, but how do you know this isn't a one time thing. I mean, the first pretty girl that walkes by you..."

"Won't have anything compared to you," he interuped.

"What about that girl who was just here?"

"Elizabeth? Jennifer, she's my twin sister! I really don't think anything romantic is going to be going on between her and me. I want and love you!"

With tears streaming down her face, Jennifer gentaly layed her head on AJ's chest and let her love heal his battered heart.

***

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