Chapter 3:
Awkward
Silences
The
next day I was sure to be at the studio early. I got there almost thirty
minutes before everyone else. Once the boys streamed in, I sat in the corner
and became a silent observer. I was curious how long it would take any of them
to acknowledge that I was there. I watched as Kevin came in with muffin in one
hand and coffee in the other, closely followed by Brian. A.J. was the next one
to enter followed by Howie. I watched as Howie and J exchanged warm hugs and
couldn't help but smile only because the old J would never let you be that
touchy feely with him. I watched as Kevin and Brian laughed about something
that happened at their get together last night, and I watched as the four of
them stood around the catered table joking, and talking. They all looked so
natural together. I felt as if I was invading their space.
I
was broken out of my thoughts by Howie.
"How
long have you been sitting there kid?"
"Yeah
Nick, why are you in the corner are you in trouble or something?" Of
course J had to get his two cents in. I suddenly felt all eyes on me. I didn't
like it.
"Sorry,
I got here early and am just zoning out."
"Well,
that's a new one, Nick zoning out huh?" Kevin said as he chuckled under
his breath and went back to eating his muffin.
Now
that my hiding place was discovered, I decided to get up and try to reacquaint
myself with the four guys I admired so much. I picked up the bag I had brought
and made my way over to A.J.
"Hi
J, I brought you something" A.J. turned to me and gave me a strange look
before noticing that I was holding a gift bag.
"Woah
dude what's this for?"
"Your
anniversary J.Congrats on being sober for a year. I'm sorry I missed the
party." I then handed the bag to him and gave him a hug. I was a little
relieved when I felt the hug returned. I bought him a great cowboy hat I found
while I was in Sweden, I knew it would be perfect for him. He took it out of
the bag, placed it on his head and gave me a smile.
"How
does it look? Do I look like a pimp daddy?"
I
laughed "Yeah J, you look like a pimp daddy" I then slowly made my
way over to Brian. "Hey Brian how's things?" He looked up at me and
then quickly looked down again avoiding eye contact completely.
"Good,
how about with you?"
"Great"
then there it was for the first time in the almost ten years that I had known
him; an awkward silence. We stood there just kind of looking at each other for
about five minutes before A.J. came over and saved us.
"Hey
Rok, did you see the hat Nick gave me?"
Brian
glanced at it and said "nice"
"It's
my anniversary present"
Brian
then looked straight at me and said "Well, he should have shown up on that
day to give it to you" and then he walked away.
"don't
mind him Nick, Rok's just being pissy" I just stood there almost in shock.
I felt lost and hurt.
The
rest of the session was okay, it went by pretty quickly because we had a lot to
do. During breaks I chose to sit alone and read instead of exchanging
uncomfortable silence with the guys. Howie walked up to me, sat down and made
me put down the book I was reading.
"You
want to go out tonight?"
"Sure.
Is it all of us?"
"No
man, just you and I. J stays away from clubs and the other two married folk are
officially boring." I felt angry, was the only reason he asked me to go
with him because no one else was available?
After
thinking about it for a couple of minutes I said "Okay I'm in"
He
then got up and said "Good, it will be nice. We have a lot to catch up
on"
Before
we left the studio, j came up behind me and gave me another hug."Thanks
again Kaos. See you tomorrow. Behave yourself with Howard, I don't want to bail
anyone out of jail tonight."
I
laughed "Very funny Bone"
Yea,
we were back to bone and Kaos. Maybe things would be okay after all.
***
