Chapter 12

Nick stood at the end of a long pier, looking out over the vast ocean. In the distance, a storm was brewing, dark clouds gathering above the horizon. An occasional bolt of lightning was seen, followed by a clap of thunder, but it seemed so far away.

As it was only six in the morning, he was the only one on the pier besides the seagulls and pelicans. The sun had slowly begun to rise behind him, shining eerily across the thunderheads.

It had been nearly two weeks since he had returned home. Three weeks since the accident. It’s amazing how life can change so quickly. Just three weeks ago, he was living the life of a pop star, getting ready to start a nation-wide tour that so many fans had been waiting for. And now, he was at home, hobbling around like an elderly man and making sure to sit carefully enough as to not twist his abdomen. Rather than live with his four band mates in tour buses and hotels, he was sharing his home with his best friend whom he had hardly talked to in a year. AJ had merely admitted to just having an extended visit.

And just three short weeks ago, his other best friend had been laughing and talking to him as if not a care in the world. Well, then, there was no care in the world. Now it was as if he didn’t exist.

Riley told him just a few days ago that she had talked to Leighanne. She had been keeping it from him so he wouldn’t get upset in case they didn’t come, but now the plans had been set. Leighanne was forcing Brian to come down. Whether or not he would actually face Nick had not yet been determined, but at least there had been an attempt.

Hearing footsteps on the damp wooden boards, Nick turned to see who his company was. The figure was dark, as the sun had yet to light the pier, but her petite figure was not so hard to determine. In silence, she stood beside him, nudging him playfully in the arm.

“Good morning.” He said, smiling down at her.

“’Morning. Why are you up so early?”

“Couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

“Trash collectors woke me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I figured I’d find you out here somewhere since you weren’t in your bedroom.”

“Yeah. I just needed some fresh air. I’ve been cooped up in the house way too long.”

“You’re feeling okay, then?”

“Yeah, I feel fine. A little sore but nothing terrible.”

“Good.”

They stood in silence for what seemed like hours.

“How about some breakfast? I’m starving.” Riley spoke up.

“Sure.”

The walk back to the house was short, but nevertheless, awkwardly silent.

“Do you still like French toast?” Nick asked as they walked in through the back door.

“Yep.”

“Sit down then, my treat.” Riley raised her eyebrows, amused at the thought of breakfast made by Nick. She sat down at the bar and watched as Nick withdrew milk and eggs from the refrigerator. As he set to work, Riley went out side and got the morning paper off the sidewalk. Returning inside, she read it at the bar while Nick cooked. AJ emerged from his room soon after the aroma of French toast filled the house.

“Are we going out to breakfast?” He teased as he sat down beside Riley. She elbowed him in the ribs, nearly sending him to the floor.

”Wimp.” She stuck out her tongue as he tried to compose himself again.

“You will be repaid for that.”

She ducked out of his grasp as she slid behind the counter.

“Don’t hide behind me,” Nick said, glancing at her as she walked behind him.

“I’m not, thank you. I don’t need your help. I’m getting plates out.”

“Mmhm.”

She swatted at Nick before opening the cabinet.

“I think you should be sent to the corner. You’re being awfully abusive today.” AJ said, getting silverware from a drawer.

“I just think I’ve been cooped up in a house with you two for too long.”

“Then go out. No one’s forcing you to stay in.” Nick told her as he put the last piece of French toast on top of the heap that already sat on a plate. Turning off the burner, he put the spatula into the sink before slowly walking to the kitchen table.

“I’ll go out later. I promised Leighanne a shopping date when they got in.”

“When is that?”

“Around eleven or so.”

“Oh boy.” Nick and AJ mumbled at the same time.

They were nearly silenced by their food with occasional chatter between bites. After they ate, Riley sent Nick out of the kitchen so he could rest while AJ and her cleaned the table off.

“He’s looking better,” AJ commented as he loaded the dishwasher.

“I know. He said he feels better, too. When does he go back to the doctor?” Riley asked, rinsing off the silverware under the faucet.

“Wednesday.”

“Why Wednesday? He just went to the doctor last week.”

“Uh… Dr. Getz just wants to keep an eye on his immune system since he’s more vulnerable without a spleen.” AJ said. Technically, it was the truth, but he still felt terrible for lying.

“But he’s doing okay?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Well, I’m going to go take a shower and change.” She tossed the dishrag into the sink, leaving AJ to turn the dishwasher on. He cleaned off the countertop before going into the living room to join Nick.

He pretended to be into the show that Nick had on until he heard the water run through the pipes.

“When are you going to tell her?”

“What?” Nick asked, turning to face his friend.

“When are you going to tell her?” AJ repeated.

“I don’t know.”

“You need to do it soon.”

“And who are you to have any say in my business?”

“Nick, she’s going to figure it out or hear it from someone else. She needs to know. If she is living in this house, she needs to know.

“She can’t catch it.”

“What if you would have started throwing up blood that night, Nick? What if your incision had ripped open and started bleeding? Hell, what if you got a paper cut and then held her hand? Would you tell her then? Do you only tell people when their life is on the line? She’s been your friend for so fucking long, Nick. She deserves to know. She’s put her life on hold to take care of you and you don’t even have the sense to tell her the truth.”

Nearly fuming, AJ stood abruptly from the chair he had occupied.

“I have a say in your business when it comes to my friends. If you’re going to put her life at risk and not tell her, then damn it, I’ll tell her. She has every right to know.”

Nick sat silently, salty tears burning his eyes. AJ put his hand up to say something else, but put it down in a hurry before walking out the front door. The door slammed, rattling some nick-knacks on the wall.

He knew he had to tell her. But how would he tell her? It wasn’t just a topic you could bring up over dinner. He couldn’t just pop right out and say it. Especially after to keeping it to himself for so long. As the water turned off, he stood and turned off the television. He stepped out the backdoor, letting the warm sea breeze burn his eyes even more. His chest ached now more than ever, but he knew it wasn’t from the accident.

~~

AJ came back nearly an hour later to find Riley sitting on the back deck, reading a magazine.

“Where’s Nick?” He asked, sitting down beside her on the swing as she moved her legs.

“Taking a nap. He walked down to the pier and back today. I imagine it wore him out.”

“Oh.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Just for a walk.”

“Everything okay?”

”Peachy. Just needed some exercise and fresh air.”

She smiled at him before returning to the magazine.

“Well, I probably smell so I’m going to take a shower.”

“Good.” She teased as he stood up.

“You just wait.” He said before going inside. She knew she was in for it later, when she was least expecting it.

Not even a few minutes had passed before the phone rang from inside. It startled her, causing her to nearly jump from the swing. She left her magazine on the ground where it had fallen as she went inside. Picking the phone up off the cradle, she pressed the ‘talk’ button.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Leighanne.”

“Hi! Are you guys here yet?”

“Yeah, we’re just about to check into the hotel. We’ll probably be over in about a half hour or so.”

“Okay. See you then.”

She replaced the phone before going back out onto the deck. She picked up her magazine and returned into the house.

The murmur of a television could be heard as she walked through the house. She knocked lightly on Nick’s door in case he was asleep, but got a reply in return.

“Come in.”

She opened the door slowly to see him lying in bed, staring blankly at the television screen.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He replied, turning his gaze to her.

“Leigh said they’d be here in about thirty minutes.”

“Oh. Okay. Thanks.”

She closed the door, knowing something was definitely different with him. AJ and him had been acting rather strangely the past few weeks. Maybe it was because she hadn’t seen them in so long. Maybe they had changed. She decided to shrug it off for the moment as she returned to the living room. She began picking up random literature or objects on the floor and tables so Baylee’s tiny hands wouldn’t find their way into something they shouldn’t have.

Just as she was putting the PlayStation 2 back into a cabinet, the doorbell rang.

“I got it.” A voice said from behind her. She turned to see Nick walking slowly to the door, holding his stomach as he did. She finished wrapping the cord around the controller before shutting the cabinet and standing up. She could see arms around Nick. But they were female arms. As they released from their hug, he ushered them in. Leighanne and Baylee walked in alone. As Nick turned around, Leighanne shook her head, a sad look in her eyes. Riley played it off, pulling Leighanne into a hug.

“How was the flight?” Riley asked as they sat down.

“Good. The second plane was a little too small for my liking, but I managed.” Leighanne chuckled. She let Baylee out of her grasp as he touched the floor with his feet.

“Hey little guy,” Nick said as Baylee eyed him suspiciously.

“Nick.” He said suddenly.

“Aww,” Riley cooed. “That’s so cute.”

A door opened from the hallway and AJ suddenly appeared in the living room.

”Hey Leigh,” He greeted her, hugging her tightly before sitting down beside her.

The group talked for a while, catching up one everything they had missed out on. Baylee found interest in the remote control to the television as he figured out how to change channels.

“Do you want something to drink?” Riley asked Leighanne, attempting to give her a “we need to talk” look.

“Sure. Baylee, keep an eye on these guys.” She said as she followed Riley to the kitchen. They stepped out onto the back patio and closed the door, making sure they were out of earshot.

“I’m so sorry. I tried to get him to come, but he’s being so stubborn. I swear, sometimes he’s twenty-nine going on ten.”

Riley couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, if he won’t come here, I’ll go there.”

“Be my guest. Maybe you can change his mind.”

“How am I going to get of here without Nick knowing where I’m going?”

“Just go. I’ll cover you.”

“You might want to grab a drink on your way back. We have to look legit.” Riley said as she grabbed the keys from the drawer.

“Good luck.”

Riley slipped out the garage door as Leighanne returned to the living room with an excuse for her. Backing of the driveway, she nearly put the car into drive and drove down the street. It was only a few short miles to the hotel, but took longer than expected from midday traffic.

They were staying at a rather luxurious hotel. It was small, but offered great amenities. She parked the car near the side of the building and crossed the lot to go inside.

“Welcome to the Banana Bay Resort and Marina. Can I help you?” She was greeted immediately as she walked in the door. A bald little man sat behind the front desk.

“I was looking for a friend of mine. Maybe you could tell me if he’s in his room?”

“Yes ma’am, what’s his name?”

“It’s under Littrell. Brian Littrell.”

“Ah yes, they just checked in a short while ago. Mr. Littrell went down to the marina just a few minutes ago. He asked me to take messages. Would you like to leave one?”

“Uh… no thanks.”

She went back out the front doors, but circled around the building. Lush gardens filled the back of the hotel. A wooden boardwalk led down to a pier that went out across the water. She walked down past the gardens, taking in a view of the entire beach. It was rather deserted, only a few groups of people were in the water and relaxing on the beach. In the distance, she saw a lone figure walking alone the shoreline. He stopped near a large area of rocks and sat down on the edge of one, letting the tide brush against his feet.

Slipping of her sandals, she stepped into the hot, white sand. It burned only for a moment as she began to trek down the beach towards the figure. As she neared the rocks, she was positive it was him. Just the form of his body made it obvious. Or maybe it was the Kentucky baseball cap he wore, tugged down over his eyes.

“Hey stranger.” She said as she reached the base of a large rock near him.

Startled, he looked up quickly. His face was full of mixed emotions as he watched her sit down on the edge of rock.

“What are you doing here?” He avoided looking at her as he stared down at his hands.

“I came to see you.”

“Why?”

“Well, you wouldn’t come see me.”

“It’s not you.”

“I know.” She looked down at the sand as she made random figures in the wet sand with her toes. “So why won’t you talk to him?”

“I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“That’s why you came.”

“Good job, captain obvious.” She said sarcastically. “Brian, seriously, why don’t you just talk to him?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Well its not that hard either. You haven’t even called him. Or just dropped by for a visit in the hospital. Not even a card. What could have been the center of such a huge fight that you couldn’t go see your best friend who was near death in a hospital?”

“He lied to me for four years, Riley. Fours years. Yeah, it may not be such a big deal to you or the other guys. But for four years I stood by his side for every girlfriend, for every family issue, and anything else he ever needed. And he lies to me. Do you know how bad that hurt me?”

“Brian, I’m sure if he didn’t tell you it was of good reason. I don’t want to pry into you guys’ business that much, but I’m sure he had a decent reason.”

“It wasn’t a good enough reason. I should’ve known. I shared a bus with him. I shared food and drinks and sweat and tears with him. He fucking held my child in his arms so many times and I never knew the truth. I should’ve known, Riley.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be prying, but what the hell are you talking about?”

Brian stopped short of speaking and looked up at her. Her face was full of confusion. She honestly didn’t know.

“You don’t know, do you?” He asked softly.

“Know what?” Her heart was nearly in her throat as she waited for his reply.

“I can’t believe he didn’t fucking tell you.” Riley shrank back, the use of vulgar language not usual with Brian. “After all this, he hasn’t told you.”

”Told me what, Brian?”

“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, Riley, but I’m going to. I’m not going to make you go through what I had to go through.”

“Please, just tell me.”

Brian turned around for a few seconds, trying to calm down.

“Brian.”

“He has HIV, Riley.”

Her mouth dropped open. The sound of her own heart hid the sounds of the ocean. It beat loudly in her ears. Her hands shook and she sank down to the sand. She looked up at Brian through tears.

“Are you serious?” She whispered. He nodded. He knelt down beside her and pulled her tightly to his chest. She cried on his shoulder for quite a while before she was able to calm herself down. Now, she felt what Brian had felt. Dishonesty and hurt. Her best friend was dying and he hadn’t had the nerve to tell her.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” She asked as they sat down in a shady spot on the beach.

“I don’t know. I didn’t stick around for an answer. The others did, but I couldn’t. It hurt too much. They all criticized me for it, but they didn’t understand.”

“How did you find out?”

“When he fell off the stage and the pole was sticking out of his abdomen, Kevin was trying to put pressure around it to stop bleeding. He kept telling Kev to get away, but he refused. He then told Kevin he had HIV and didn’t want him to get it.”

“What’d Kevin do?”

“Ignored him and helped him. I couldn’t even look at him after that.”

“So you haven’t seen him since he was lying on the floor?”

“No.”

She sighed, covering her face with her hands. “I can’t go back there. I don’t want to be near him right now. I mean, I still love him to death, but this is too much for right now. I don’t want to face him. But I don’t want to turn my back on him.”

Brian remained silent, watching her run through several emotions.

“I think…I think I need to go home.”

“Which home?”

“Paris.”

***

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